Twenty

They both looked at each other for a long moment before Diane extended me a greeting to come in.

“Well, what a surprise…”  Diane started as we headed into the living area.

Jim just looked at me a bit wearily as my hands slipped deep into my pockets with nervousness.

“Listen I just flew up for a few hours to basically talk to you about some things with Lance and I…”

Jim sighed loudly and a look of anger crossed his face.

“Basically I’d like you to hear me out, if you don’t give me the time of day for that, then obviously you don’t really care much about what makes your son happy.”

They both looked at me in horror.  For once they’d actually realized this wasn’t about them – well at least for a moment.

“Please sit down,”  Diane offered.

I did so and sat in an all white chair in front of me.  This room was decorated very delicately in mostly off-whites.  The sun gave it a beautiful feel this time of day.  It was so bright and happy until basically my cloud of destruction walked in their door.

“What have you traveled all this way to tell us?”  Jim walked in closer to where Diane was now sitting.

I took a deep breath.

“Lance and I feel that no matter our success or our fortunes we still love each other.  By that we mean that we’re willing to give it all up to be happy.  The day of the album release, at the press conference, we’re going to tell our fans.  We feel they’ve grown with us a lot and will respect how we feel.  Jive is unaware of it at this time, but well, that’s the plan.  With all the numbers coming in that week that can’t exactly fire us, so…”

I could hear Jim muttering under his breath as Diane sat with a shocked look on her face.

“So you’re going to throw away everything this group has made in the past decade all so you can walk down the street hand-in-hand?”  Jim asked.

Well I guess if you look at it that way…

“We’ve already spoke to the others in the group and they’re fine with it.  We all feel that it’s our well being and happiness that matters most,”  I replied coolly.

“Is that all you came here to say?”  Diane looked at me, tears welling up behind her green eyes.

“No,” I hung my head low for a minute.

It was then I heard the door shut.  I looked up and Stacy was smiling back at me.

“Jayce…”  She walked over to me and we hugged.

I said a quiet hello as she stood next to my chair.

“Did you tell them yet?”  She asked.

I just shook my head.

“What, you knew he was coming and you didn’t tell us?”  Jim’s face was growing with anger.

“What so you can leave?  I think you should hear him out Dad,” she retorted.

There was a second of silence before I took another deep breath and looked at Jim and Diane.

“I’ve known Lance a really long time.  He’s my best friend, he’s my world.  I come here to ask you for your permission for us to be united forever.”  I couldn’t believe at that point that the words left my mouth, had I actually said it?

They didn’t really say anything, I think they were too stunned by the words.

“Isn’t that great, our little Lance is going to get hitched,” she gleefully smiled.

“Well, I haven’t asked him yet, he doesn’t know Stac.”

After a moment Jim stormed out of the room and Diane just sat on the couch.  She slowly looked up at me, tears falling over her eyes.

“You really love him Josh, don’t you?”

I shook my head up and down.

“I just want him to be happy,” and with that she left.

I looked over at Stacy who rubbed my arm.

“Come on, I’ll take you back to the airport,” she smiled.

On the Plane

I wouldn’t say my trip was successful, but those few words that left Diane’s mouth before she left the room gave me a little more hope than I’d had at the beginning of this day.

I closed my eyes and slept for the remainder of the trip.

That Night

I was flipping channels when Lance came in.

“Hey,” he tossed his keys down and hopped on the bed next to me.

“Hi,” I smiled as I set the remote down on the bed and turned to look at him.

“So what did you do today?” he asked.

“Not much, just ran a ton of errands and had lunch with Justin, what about you?”

“Joey and I went shopping, I bought you something,” he got up and went to the closet and pulled out a bag.

I sat up on the bed and looked at him inquisitively, “what is it?”

“So impatient,” he shook his head as he pulled the shirt out of the bag.  It was a green shirt with the male and female signs on it, but they were integrated and not separate to make one big sign.  It was simple and perfect for the press conference.

“Thank you,” I grabbed it and tossed it to the floor as I grabbed him instead and pulled him down on the bed on top of me.

“I missed you today Josh,” his beautiful eyes glowed as he looked down at me.

“Really now?”  I teased.

“Yeah…”

“Well, why don’t you show me then,” I offered.

He laughed and then I became his all the rest of the night.

The next day – The Album Release

The press conference was at Virgin in New York City at 6pm EST, and it as now 4pm.  They hadn’t given us numbers on the album yet, but there were fans flooding the streets of New York as we appeared on TRL.  I’m sure that day all five of us has the butterflies that Lance and I had, it’s just ours seemed to be violent as moths.  We ran through questions at the speed of light, people screamed, cried, applauded, and our greatest videos over the years were shown to us.  None of it effected me, it all seemed like a flash of light until we were sitting at the press conference table waiting for it to start.

The numbers had just come in, we’d sold 1 million in one day, pretty amazing numbers for a group that’s been on hiatus for a while.  It showed Lance and I one thing that it didn’t anyone else – that our fans loved us no matter what, but to us it was in a special way.  A way that gave us courage that night to say the terrible yet wonderful secret we’ve been keeping.

“Are you okay?”  Justin asked as I bit down on my finger nails over and over.

“I’m just kind of scared of the repercussions.  It doesn’t hurt what they’re going to say, but I’d like to have this group to go back to at the end of the day.  You know, have the man I love, and the job I love, if you know what I mean,” I sighed.

Just smiled back at me and pat me on the back, “no matter what you’ll always have us and we’ll always have each other.  Fame means nothing.”  He sounded so mature to me.  Like in my eyes he’d grown just since this story began.  I loved him, I loved all of these guys. 

“I think we’re going to begin – hello N Sync fans!”  an announcer bounced out in front of us and the audience of 200 special fans.

They screamed horribly loud and we all couldn’t help but laugh.  They still loved us.

The conference went on, the fans were happy, everyone was happy.  Johnny had told us to wait till we found a question that we could go off of and try to make it as close to the end as possible to avoid a huge media spectacle with thousands of questions.

I just wanted it over with.  My hands were clammy and sweaty and I kept drinking my water so quickly the interns didn’t have much time to refill them.  It was then a teenage girl with bright blonde hair stood up.  She wore a “No Strings Attached” tour shirt – faded and way too small for her.  She must have been 9 when she attended that concert and now was 16. She grabbed the microphone that she looked comfortable holding.  I was happy that the age limit for this conference was 16 because I don’t think I could explain to an 8 year old how I felt for Lance.

“I’d like to ask JC,” she smiled with big cheeks, almost in tears, “are you seeing anyone seriously?”

It was then that my heart sank almost in dread even though this was the one question I’ve been waiting for.

All the guys looked at me, Lance’s eyes burning into my head.  It was as if we all took a deep breath and held it for that short period of time until I spoke.

“What’s your name sweetheart?”  I asked.

“Arianna,” she answered.

“Well Arianna, that is an interesting question.  One I’ve been waiting for because I actually have something to say,” I was completely shaking at this point.  I knew the crowd was waiting for me to announce I was engaged, only they would think it was to a woman.

Everyone waited as I took a deep breath and began.

“Basically I’m going to put everything simply because there’s really not many questions to ask.  We have a great trust in our fans and in our record company, and I hope that trust will prove that everyone can be accepting with what I’m about to say,” the place went silent.

“I’m actually in love right now, but I’m in love with somebody who’s my best friend.  And…” deep breath, deep breath, deep breath, “HE’S here today.”

Many gasps were heard as I continued to finish, but nothing came out of my mouth.

It was then Lance spoke.

“I hope that as many people as possible will be accepting about this, because well, he’s my best friend too.”

Twenty-One