The
Next Day
“Why
do you keep checking your hair, it’s not like we’re throwing a freaking
party,” Lance scowled at my reflection in the mirror.
I looked at him through the mirror and hair sprayed my hair a bit.
“Lance,
since when do you yell at me because I’m curling my bangs?” I asked.
He
just looked at me oddly.
“I’m
sorry Jayce, I’m just on edge. It’s
not every day you come out of the closet to your family,” he sighed.
I
shut off the curling iron and turned around, my arms sliding around his waist
and pulling him close to me.
“It’s
going to be okay Lance. I know I
can’t replace your family, but just remember, at the end of this day, you’ll
still have me and we’ll still have each other,” I reassured him.
“I
know, but I love my family and if they leave me…I…”
“If
they leave you then they’ve got another thing coming because you should be
loved no matter what lifestyle you choose,” I concluded.
“Aren’t
you scared to tell your parents Josh?” he looked up at me solemnly.
“Nervous,
yes. Worried, yes.
Scared, no. My parents know
what kind of person I am, how passionate and loving I am.
They know if I put this much into something, then it means everything to
me. If I come to them with
something and ask for their blessing then it’s really important.
It’s going to be okay baby, now come on…” I turned him around and
pushed him towards the door.
At
Lance’s Apartment
“So
you’re going to wait in the car for me, right?” Lance nervously played with
the door handle before he got out.
“I’ll
be right here, promise,” I winked at him.
“Love
you…” he smiled at me.
“Love
you too, now go…” I leaned over and rubbed his hand.
He
just nodded and walked away.
I
slouched in my seat, turned up the music and said a silent prayer for him.
“Trin?”
Lance called as he walked inside and shut the door.
“Hey
honey, look, I got some pictures taken of some dresses I like,” she shoved
them at him.
“That’s
good Trin, listen, we need to talk,” he didn’t even glance at the pictures.
“Can
it wait, I have so much to do,” she walked away from him and over to the pile
of wedding magazines on the table.
“Trin,
this is important, it’s about the wedding, it’s about everything…” he
solemnly replied.
She
just waved him off and kept piling stuff up on the table.
“Trinity,
I’m not joking,” he finally grabbed her wrist and twirled her around to face
him.
“Fine,
five minutes,” she mumbled with annoyance.
He
sat her down on the couch and looked at her, his words all jumbled in his head.
He knew that no matter which way he said it, it was going to sound
horrible, so he might as well just say it.
“Trin,
first I just want to say that you’ve always been great to me and we’ve had a
lot of fun together…” he started.
She
looked at him curiously, her brow furrowing.
“There’s
something I have to tell you, but I don’t want you to think it’s you.
Because all of this is my fault…” he kept swallowing, the lump in his
throat hardening.
“God,
you’re worrying me, what is it Lance?” she looked at him carefully.
Lance
just sat there staring at her trying to figure out what was easiest.
His options: “I’m gay” or “the
wedding is off and I’m gay.” Maybe
she’d just get IT with a simple “I’m
gay?”
“LANCE?” she yelled.
He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her.
“I’m
not going to go into the story, just well, simply tell you…I’m, well, I’m
gay.”
She
just stared at him blankly, a smile cracking on her face.
“You’re
kidding right, Chris put you up to this, right?” she chuckled.
“No,
Trin, I am…”
She
just looked at him blankly.
“So
does this mean the wedding’s off?” she asked.
He
just nodded and looked down at his hands in his lap.
She
began laughing and he looked at her oddly.
“Why
are you laughing?” he asked.
“Cause
Lance, I’ve always known you rode on that side of the fence, no pun intended.
I was just wondering when YOU’D know it,” she laughed.
“So
wait, you’re not mad?” he asked her oddly.
“I
didn’t say I wasn’t mad, but I’m glad you told me this now before we were
married. So is there a guy in mind
for you?” she asked.
He
just shook his head, “I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this…”
“Look,
I didn’t say it wouldn’t take a little incentive to make me feel better.
Come on, I was planning my dream wedding here.
Plus I don’t have a job or anywhere to go…” she whined.
“I
have an idea, but let me talk to JC first and I’ll get back to you,” he
replied.
“Jay…Cee?”
she carefully answered.
“He’s
THE guy,” his leg shook nervously as he watched her shift in her seat.
“You’re
leaving me for another N Sync boy? Man,
I knew he was always gay,” she replied.
“I’m
sorry Trin, I really am,” he answered.
“No,
it’s okay, I mean I think we both know that well THIS…” she looked around,
“was really all convenience. I
met someone in Georgia, Lance. So I
dunno, maybe this is for the better,” she smiled.
“Are
you sure Trin, I just feel so…”
“Lance,
you’re an amazing guy, but you’re only your full potential when you’re
happy and comfortable. You’re not happy with me.”
He
just nodded and stood up.
“You
can stay here until I talk things over with JC, but for right now don’t worry
about anything, okay?”
She
just nodded.
“I
loved you Lance, I did,” she quietly answered as he began to walk out.
“I
know Trin, I loved you too, I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Alright.”
“And Trin, I haven’t told my parents yet, I think I’ll do it today, so
could you keep this between us. I
don’t want the media knowing yet either…”
“Yeah,
you have my word,” she set down all the stuff in her hands on the table with a
loud thud.
“Thank
you,” and with that he left.
She
sighed, it did hurt that she got ‘dumped’ especially with the dream wedding
she was planning, but now she was free to live how she wanted to.
And so was he.
Lance
opened the door and hopped in with a smile.
“I’m
taking it went well?” I asked.
“It’s
so strange, it’s like it was a relief to her or something.
But it’s odd cause she was looking forward to the wedding, so I dunno.
I think it was more or less her dream wedding cause of well, the money,
so I think she’s really just disappointed she didn’t get the wedding, but
nothing else mattered,” he shrugged.
“That’s
good, right?” I chuckled.
“Yeah,
one thing though. I’m not asking for a decision right now, but, well, Trin
has no where to go, no job and really no money that’s not mine, so…I was
thinking about signing over my apartment to her.
I mean, I’m not asking to live with you or anything, but could I crash
with you until I find a new apartment?” he asked, more like rambled.
I
looked at him with a big smile.
“I
think you’re trying to ask me something else, but you don’t want to be that
forward,” I corrected him.
“I…I…”
he stuttered.
“Lance,
if you want to live with me, that’s fine.
If it doesn’t work out you could always find your own place.
But do you know how honored I would be to sleep next to you every single
night?” I leaned in and put my
hand behind his neck, pulling his lips into mine.
“You
wouldn’t mind living with me?” he carefully asked.
“No,
please, come stay with me and we’ll see if it works, okay?” I was
practically begging.
He
bit down on his lip nervously and then smiled.
“Okay,”
he agreed.
“Good,”
I nodded, “now you ready to go…y’know, tell mom and dad?”
I asked.
“Ready?
Ha, I don’t think will ever happen, but yeah, I’m ready,” he
replied.
I
took his hand into mine.
“Lance,
do I mean that much to you, I mean, do you love me enough to possibly destroy
your family?” I softly asked.
“Jayce,
how could you ask if I love you that much?” his brow furrowed.
“No,
what I mean is, am I worth it?” I searched his eyes for an answer.
“JC,
I’d give my life for you,” he quietly answered.
I
reached out and cupped his face with my hands.
“God
Lance…I love you,” I muttered as my lips met his.
“I
love you too…now let’s go before I lose my nerve.”
“Okay,”
I replied and turned on the car.
Later
We
both took interest in our feet as we stared at the ground awkwardly.
“Lance!
Honey, what a nice surprise. Josh,
oh my, a double-surprise,” Diane
smiled and kissed Lance’s cheek, then mine.
Lance
hooked his thumbs in his back pockets, his jean jacket covering his hands as he
walked in and said hello to his father.
“Hi
Diane, Jim,” I could barely look his father in the eye.
I kept thinking the entire time that I’m practically fucking his son
and here he is, offering me a damn beer and talking to me about my own family.
Shit. I feel like SHIT.
“When
are you guys going home?” Lance asked, downing almost half of his beer.
I
glared at him, dammitt, I wanted him to be sober for this…
“Probably
next week because Stacy and I had made some plans and I don’t want to break
them. Will you and Trin be okay?”
Diane looked at him lovingly.
I
actually thought it was cute. That
cheeky smile he gets around his parents, where his cheeks get all full and he
looks like the cutest cabbage patch doll you’d ever seen.
God it made me want to knock him down on the couch right there and…
“So
Josh, when’s the next time you’re seeing your parents?
You know they’re not too far from our place, we should all get
together,” Jim began talking to me again.
I
was trying to think about the hard on I was getting, and all he could talk to me
about was my parents? Yeah that makes it all go away…
“I don’t know, I was thinking about flying up to see them next weekend,” I shrugged and sat down on the couch so my obvious arousal couldn’t be seen.
What
a bastard I was, watching Lance look all cute and innocent around his parents
and that turned me on…God I’m sick.
“That’s good, how’s your brother and sister doing?” he asked.
Why
all the questions about my family? Grrr…
“Good,
thank you,” I shrugged and nervously began shaking my leg.
“Mom,
dad we came over for a reason,” Lance blurted and came to sit down next to me.
They
looked at us both with a smile and came to sit across from us.
“What’s
wrong dear?” Diane asked and looked at Lance with a scowl.
He
began turning his ring around and around and around and around…his leg
shaking, his cheeks turning red.
“I
don’t know if I should start with a story or if I should just tell you.
I’ve played this over in my head so many times and no matter which way
I do it, it all turns out the same horrible way,” he confessed.
“Honey,
what’s so bad that you think it’ll be that horrible to tell us?
You’ve always been completely honest with us,” she shook her head as
she looked at him.
“I
figure the initial shock would be better and then I could tell you the story…I
guess first I should say that Trin and I aren’t getting married,” his deep
voice trailed off, his eyes fixated on the rug.
“What?
Why?” she asked, her voice getting higher, Jim sitting forward.
“I…”
he looked at me and then back at his parents.
I
just nodded with reassurance.
“Mom…Dad,
I’m not getting married to Trin because I don’t love her.
I…”
“Come
on son, tell us…”
“I’m
gay.”