Eleven

We hadn’t decided yet how we were going to do it, who we were going to tell first, or what time of the day even to do it.  We didn’t know if we should tell them all together or separate or even what to do afterward.

“I think we should tell them all separate, give them the respect,” Lance munched on some chips.  “I think I should tell Trin alone, don’t you?”

I snacked on the same chips and took a swig of my soda, “yeah, but what about your parents?”

“Well, what about yours?” he asked.

“It’s not my parents I’m worried about Lance, it’s yours.  My parents might be upset, but they’re not gonna…”  I paused and saw the pained look on his face.

“…They won’t disown you like mine will…” he sighed.

“They won’t disown you, they love you enough to make it through this,” I put my hand on his back.

“What about Trin, I feel so selfish,” he replied.

“Lance, you can’t change the way that you are or how you feel.  That’s something she’ll have to live with for the rest of her life, but it’s something you have to live with too.”

“Maybe we should tell Joey and Chris first,” his voice was solemn.

“Well we could tell them tonight, get two days ahead on things and then tell Trin and your parents tomorrow since they’re still here.  Fly up to see my parents this weekend…?” I suggested.

He looked at me and smiled.

“You have everything figured out as always, Jayce.  I don’t think I’d be able to THINK without you at this point.”

“That’s what I’m here for…so shall we call the guys?”

“Let’s do it,” he concluded.

That Night

I phoned Justin along with Joey and Chris, so that way, possibly, Justin could help us out when explaining it to Joey and Chris.  I also got a ton of beer, hoping that by their fourth one they’d be more willing to listen.  Joey and Chris were pretty open-minded people, but the fact that it just wasn’t one of us, but yet BOTH of us and TOGETHER, that was going to be a pretty big shock to them both.

“Man, I love hanging out with you guys, I miss it,” Joey downed his beer.

Lance and I looked at each other uncomfortably.

“So Lance, still not getting laid?”  Chris laughed.

Justin shot Lance a look.

“Something like that, but actually, speaking of Trin, ummm, we need to talk about some stuff,” Lance began, his leg shaking nervously.

“Of course we’ll be in your wedding!”  Chris cracked up, “I knew you’d ask us some time!”

Joey just nodded in agreement.

Justin, Lance, and I all exchanged looks.

“Umm, Chris, Joey, there won’t be a wedding,” Lance quietly replied.

“What, why Lance?” Joey sat forward in his chair and looked at him carefully.

“There’s something I have to tell you.  You guys are my best friends and I’m hoping that you’re going to be able to support me and be able to handle all that I’m going to tell you,” he looked back and forth between them both.

“Now, Joey, you know you’re my best friend and that I would have told you first, but well, Justin just kind of accidentally found out.  He’s here tonight to support…” he looked at me, because he was going to say us, “the decisions I’ve made.  So don’t get defensive.”

Joey just looked at him oddly.

“God, Lance, what is it?  You sound like it’s bad?”  Joey asked.

Chris just waited as Lance cleared his throat.

“I’m not in love with Trin…”  There was silence for a moment.

“So why did you propose PooFu?” Chris asked.

“Because I didn’t want anyone to find out the truth.  And I’ve learned you can’t hide it, you can’t mask it, you can’t pretend you’re happy when you’re really not.  I’ve learned over the past month that you can’t tear yourself apart in order to make everyone else happy, that *I* have to be happy.  And the person that makes me happy is not Trin.”

They both looked at him curiously now, Justin watching everyone nervously.

“What are you saying Lance?”  Chris asked.

“I…I didn’t think I was before, not when this all started, but well, I guess now I know I am…I…”

Chris’s eyes widened.

“PooFu…” he calmly replied.

“I’m gay,” Lance blurted.

Joey and Chris blinked their eyes at him, their mouths slightly gaping.

“You’re gay, so you wanted to marry Trin to cover it up?”  Chris asked.

“Something like that, but there’s more…” he looked over at me, Joey and Chris following his glance.

“Oh God, what?”  Joey asked.

I scooted closer to Lance, reached in his lap, and grabbed his hand, “it’s okay,” I whispered to him.

They both looked back and forth.

“There’s someone else that makes me happy and someone that I’d rather spend my life with than Trin…” his green eyes smiled brightly at me.

“JC!?”  Chris yelled.

“Yeah, JC…”  Lance replied.

They both looked at us speechless and then turned to Justin.

“You knew about this?” Joey asked.

“Not by choice, I walked in on something I shouldn’t have,” Justin made a weird face.

Joey’s head fell into his hands.

“How long has this been going on?” he asked.

I spoke up, sensing that Lance really needed a break.

“Do you remember the night we won the lawsuit?” I asked.

Chris and Joey both nodded, Justin now interested in what I had to say.

“We had been drinking and Lance was in the bathroom, well almost, he was half in half out, about to puke.  And well, he kissed me…I didn’t think much of it, but for three years it had been really getting to me.  Last time all of us got together Lance kind of broke the ice and I realized he DID remember what happened and we discovered how we felt for one another.  It was something gradual, it’s not that we didn’t tell any of you, I just don’t think either of us knew,” I concluded.

“JC, I knew you were at least bi, I’ve always known that, but Lance…Jesus…” Joey huffed.

“We wanted to tell you first, because we understand that the circumstances surrounding us as a couple effect the group and we wanted to talk to you about that,” I looked at Justin, Joey and Chris.

“Look, I think I speak for Joey and I when I say that we are best friends before we’re *N Sync.  Your happiness means more to us than anything and if this is what you want, we’ll stand behind you.  Do you agree Joe?  Jup?”  Chris asked.

Lance and I looked at them both.

“Yes.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s not like we’re going to go an announce it at a press conference, it’ll take time to figure out the best way to do this.  I know Johnny is gonna freak and so is Jive, but we’ll find a decent way to tell the fans and the media.  There’s no hurry, we’re really careful how we are around each other.  But is this…will this be okay with all of you?”  I asked and looked at them.

“I love you guys, and whatever makes you happy is what makes you happy,” Joey looked at me, his face showing signs that he was still coping with the train that just hit him.

“Yeah, I agree, just watch it with the touchy-feely stuff, okay?  It’s going to take me a while,” Chris made a funny face.

“Okay,” Lance smiled.

“You guys are the greatest friends…you know that right?” I asked, hugging them three.

“We know,” Justin smiled.

“So PooFu, how are you going to go about telling Trin?  You know that’s the worst way to break up with somebody is telling them you’re leaving them for a man.  That’s going to do permanent damage to the poor child,” Chris shook his head.

“I don’t know, we’re telling her tomorrow, then I have to go over to my parents house and tell them right away before she gets to them,” Lance rubbed his head with his hand.

“Good luck,” Chris stood up.  “I think I’m going to go home and absorb all of this,” he laughed.

Lance and I both stood up to walk everyone out.

“Joey, I’m sorry…” Lance looked at him sadly.

Joey just smiled.

“You’re my best friend, my daughter’s Godfather, practically my brother, there’s nothing in this world you could do that would make me hate you Lance.  I love you,” he pulled Lance into a hug.

“Can I get a hug?”  Chris asked.

All five of us pulled each other together how we do right before shows.

“Love you,” I said.

“Love you.”

“Love you.”

“Love you.”

“Hate you…naaa I’m just kidding,” Chris laughed, “love you.”

Once everyone had left, Lance and I sat down on the couch together.

“Two down…”

“The world to go Jayce…” he sighed.

“Yeah, but I love you and we’re together in this, don’t forget that.”

“I love you too,” he curled up in my arms.

“Who are you more scared to tell, your parents or Trin?” I rubbed his blond tips.

“Probably my parents, I think Trin knows as much as I do that this is more a marriage of convenience.  I think she’ll only be devastated because of the money,” he laughed.  “She’s a really sweet girl, but…there’s no love loss between us when I leave, I think.”

“We have each other, that’s what is important, remember that,” I kissed his forehead.

“I’ll try when my mother tells me she never wants to speak to me again,” he sighed.

“Be positive Lance.  No matter who or what you are that doesn’t change that she loves you.”

“I’m going to have to tell Stacy and Ford too,” he sighed.

“Yeah and don’t forget about Dirk,” I joked.

“I’m not worried about Dirk, he loves me no matter what,” he laughed.

“I’d sure hope so, silly,” I ruffled his hair.

“It’s been a tiring night, and we’ve got a long day tomorrow, you ready for bed?” He asked, his green eyes staring up at me.

“You’re staying?” I asked.

“Yeah, why not, tomorrow everything with her will be all over with, so what’s another night away?” he reached into his pocket and pulled out the phone to call her.

I smiled.

“That means I get you all to myself tonight, I like that,” I wrapped my arms around his waist as he called.

A few minutes later we retreated upstairs, both of us falling into a comfortable sleep with our arms tangled around each other.

Twelve