The Weight Of the World-CHAPTER 1

As he walked away from the Pub he turned for a moment to look back at Fitzgeralds and saw Father Peter Clifford was walking the opposite direction to the bridge that led into Ballyk. The view of the ambulance moving toward him blocked his view of all that happened next.

He didn't know how he would tell Kevin of Assumpta's death. His son was very close to Assumpta since his own mother had left Padraig and him so long ago.

As he neared his station he noticed a immediate change in the weather. It seemed cold, almost as if the spectre of death still loomed so close by.

"Kevin!.. Wake up, " Padraig said as he opened up the door to his sons room and turned on the lights.

"What time is it dad? Whats going on?" Kevin seemed disorientated as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"Theres been a accident at Fitzgeralds..... Assumpta...." Padraig tried to continue but the emotion of what had just happened finally caught up with him.

Padraig for a moment wasnt able to speak, and Kevin asked,"Was it the Dog? Did something happen to Finn?" Kevin could only think of Assumpta's dog. He had loved that dog since it was a puppy and he was a child. They grew up together.

"No son, the dog is Fine." Padraig continued, "It's Assumpta.... She's ... she died tonight." He barely was able to speak the words

Time stood still for Kevin. He heard his Father, but at the same time he was in disbelief. "Isn't there something that Doctor Ryan can do? Surely there is."Tears welled up inside kevin and he started to cry. He asked, "What happened?"

"She was electrocuted son, an accident with her fuse box." Padraig wiped his face with shirt sleeve and then motioned for his son to come to him. He hugged his son, as he hugged him Kevin broke down again and asked "Why did god take her Dad?"

"I don't know Kevin, I just dont know." Padraig closed his eyes and squeezed his son even tighter.

He hugged his son and thought to homself, "I'll always protect over you."

After answering as many of his sons questions as was possible he told him,"It's time for bed." He looked at his watch on his wrist and realized it had been only two hours since Assumpta died.

Moments later the house seemed so quiet with Kevin in bed. Padraig sat for a moment by himself and wished again that he had done something to help Assumpta.

That night as the clouds drifted even more into Ballykissangel Kevin had the first of many nightmares. Whcih were no doubt influenced by the death of Assumpta. He didn't sleep very well at first, but as the night went on the dream eventually faded away. So he was able to sleep more restfully.

[That Next morning after Assumpta had died]

Padraig didnt open the Petrol Shop as was normally his routine. He put his jacket on and walked down to St Josephs. He left before his son was awake.

Father Clifford wasn't at St Josephs. Father Macanally was understandibly taking his place for morning mass and confession.

He wasn't a regular visitor to the confessional. He shuddered to think about talking to Father Mac about what he needed to say. But it had to be done. His soul was heavy and he needed someone to talk too.

"How long had it been since he had spoken to god?" He thought to himself. He remembered when Kevin had fallen into the hole several weeks back and thanked god again for watching over his son.

He was silent for a moment when he entered the confessional. It had been so many years since his last confession.

"Forgive me Father, ... It has been eleven years since my last confession." Padraig waited silently for Father Mac to answer him.

"How may I help you my child? ... God is listening." Father Macanally answered from behind the screened confessional window.

"It's this Father, I should have helped a friend that needed help but she was too independant to ask me for assistance. So I didn't offer. I just sat their in the Pub."

"You're speaking of Assumpta?" Father Mac asked him. "There was nothing you could have done that would have prevented that. If it wasnt her time, she wouldnt have been taken from us.

"I can't help the way I feel Father. It's as if the weight of the world was on my shoulders since her death."Padraig paused for a moment then spoke again, " I ask for forgiveness Father."

Father Mac answered him in a almost silent tone, as if He was afraid he would be heard, "Say Three ........." after that his voice trailed down so that only Padraig in the confessional might hear him speaking. As Father Mac finished speaking he said, "God be with you."

Padraig moved the curtain of the confessional aside as he stepped out. He looked at his watch and realized that Kevin would be just starting to wake up. He quickly made his way back home.

As he walked over the bridge from St Josephs he felt much better for having gone to confession. The huge sense of guilt he had been having was starting to dissipate.

Kevin was already up when he got home. As he entered their home he heard what sounded like eggs being fried in the background.

Brendan strapped his school books down to his bicycle. Then peddled at a leisurely pace to the Ballykissangel school where he was a teacher.

When he was half way to the school he stopped off at Father Cliffords home. He wasnt there. Nor was he at St Jospephs. He wasnt anywhere to be found. He had intended to console him, but that would have to wait.

He had last seen Peter going in the ambulance with Doc Ryan and Assumpta to Cilldargen.Then for some odd reason he thought of the first time he had met Peter. He was on the bus from Cilldargen. That day had been a beginning of sorts. It had been Siobhan and his first date. Although at the time he doubt he would have claimed it as a date. Both of them had attended conferences in Cilldargen and they had met for lunch.

Brendan didn't feel right going to school and teaching. He felt like he should mourn Assumpta. Actually he felt like drinking to try to forget about what happened. He knew the kids in his class would be full of quesions for him about what happened to her.

School wasnt eventful until his friends son, Kevin O'kelly got into a fight with another boy. Brendan left his students with a student aid and took Kevin back home to Padraig.

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Brendan took Kevin back to school with him. School was almost over though, as only 2 hours later Kevin was back at home.

That night he recieved a phone call from Father Clifford about a get together he was wanting to have for assumpta's close friends the next morning. A memorial type gathering.

"C'Mon Dad, everyone else will be there!" Kevin O'Kelly was arguing with his father after learning he wasnt being allowed to go to assumpta's memorial. A memorial that Father Clifford had just called and told them about.

"Even Brendan wont be at school!" Kevin said defiantly to his father.

Padraig shook his head and said, "Brendan's classes will be combined with those of the other teachers.

Padraig didnt feel that his son was old enough to go to a memorial. A mistake that is common among parents. Because no matter how young someone is, they must be allowed to mourn the loss of a loved one. Since Kevin's mother was away in England, Assumpta at times had been someone Kevin could turn too.

Later that morning Kevin sat in his school room staring down a teacher he wasnt familiar with. He might have to go to school, but they couldnt force him to learn.

One by one all of Assumpta's friends walked up to the quiet small clearing that Peter had chosen for them to gather at. They were timid at first, but soon the air was awash with laughter and stories about Assumpta. Nary a one of them had a dry eye. Even Eammon wiped a small tear from his eyes.

Eammon was thinking back to when his wife had died so long ago. It had been so long since her death that most of the younger people in Ballykissangel wasnt aware that he had been married. It seemed like another life when she was here with him.

Eammon continued to be quiet while the others told tale after tale. He finally sensed it was his turn to speak. So with almost a whisper he began to speak, "It was about 15 years ago, and i was a much younger man back then. I was one of the larger sheep farmers in Ballykissangel then. The town might joke about my wooden sheep now but it wasnt always so. A sprite young girl, I dont remember how old she was, 9 maybe ten. Assumpta along with someone else let loose all my sheep. Not just one or two, but all three hundred head.

The sheep were seperated on my land by a good bit, so i know she had help, since both pens went loose about the same time. In her mind she thought she was rescuing the sheep. It took me days to round them up. I found most of em, except for good old gertie. She never came home.

Assumpta would have gotten away with it, except she had taken a liking to my sheep dog. And she had hidden him in her room. Her mother found her out though.

She never would tell who her accomplice was. And her mother couldnt drag it out of her. Assumpta thought we were going to kill the sheep, instead of just taking their wool. The sheep didnt mind it of course because being the hot summer month it was, they were happy to be rid of their wool. She never told me who the other was ......"

Niamh cleared her throat as if she was wanting to say something.

With a whisper, Eammon continued, "Almost finished Niamh, you'll have your turn."

"I just wanted to add something to your tale, " she said meekly. "The other person ... was ...." She then slowly raised her hand and said, "Me!"

Numerous other stories were told, all more touching than the one just previously told. As the time slipped away so did a portion of their grief.

Slowly one by one they drifted away. No one wanting to be the first to leave. So they all started to leave at the same time.

Being the only mechanic in town meant that Padraig was always busy. Taking such a huge portion of his work day meant that he would have to work some late hours to catch up.

[Early the next morning after the memorial]

He had three tune ups, one electrical problem, and a starter that needed rebuilding. Hours later at 2am he wandered back inside his house. He was dirtier than he had ever been, but at least the work was finished.

He took a quick shower not wanting to wake his son.

In his sons room small beads of perspriration were beinging to form on his face. His eye lids began to flutter wildly. He was entering what Brendan Kearney might call R.E.M. but to kevin it was the begining of a series of nightmares.

Kevin suddenly became awake as the solitary figure approached him. As he opened his eyes the three faded away. "Weird dream." Kevin stumbled out of the bed, as he heard his father taking a shower. He was going to read him the rules on not staying out late.

[six hours later]

Peter clifford begain to put his robes on for possibly the last time. He was becoming increasingly confused on what he believed and what he didnt believe. As Peter christened little Kieran Egan a small bit of peacefullness flooded through him. The small baby began to smile, as he dripped the holy water on the childs forehead.

What he was doing now he did out of respect and friendship for Niamh and Ambrose.

He didnt know if he still believed in the words coming from his mouth at this very moment.

As Niamh and Ambrose walked away from him, leaving St Josephs. Peter whispered, "Have a good life Kieran..." He then slowly took his robes off and wrapped them with care. He took a small piece of paper and begain to wrote on it.

Peter stopped off at Father Mac's and with care not to be seen dropped the package off at his door step.

He quickly made his get away with Father Mac none the wiser.

About thirty minutes after Peter dropped the package off at his door step, Father Mac left his home. He immediately noticed the small package. Tearing the note from the package it read, "I didn't just come for the suit." It was signed, Peter Clifford.

Several hours later as he walked away from Ballykissangel his thoughts drifted back to the only other place he had ever called home, "Manchester". He spoke briefly with Brendan who wished him well. And then he was on his way.

end chapter one