Jon McDaniel: What a great night it is! We're live in Berlin and the Deutschland National Arena is packed! Let's no waste any more time and get straight to the action.
(Viper is already in the ring)
Ring Announcer: Introducing the PWA Internet Champion...Shocking Shawn Jones!
(Icp's "bring It On", blares over the speakers as the man simply known as The Shock makes his way to the ring.)
Brian Rentfro: The best thing about being in Germany, I've never seen so many bratwurst in one place in all my life. Dear lord, I must be in heaven.
(Shock whips Viper into the ropes and then catches him in a hiptoss. Shock locks on an armbar and holds it. Jones pulls his opponent to the middle of the ring, then lands a leg drop on the injured arm. The champion pulls Viper to his feet and nails him with an atomic drop.)
Jon McDaniel: You know what's coming next!
(Shocker pulls Viper's hair and sets him up in a reverse front face lock, the executes the Shock Wave! He covers...1...2...3!)
Jon McDaniel: Another successful title defense for Shocking Shawn Jones!
Jon McDaniel: This is the first match in an exciting new event for the PWA, a tag team round robin tournament. The winner of the tournament will go on to face the Brothers Grimm at London's Burning for the tag team titles.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, MVP and Cash Money!
("Hi, My Name is..." by Eminem hits the PA as the lights start to flash on and off. Blue flares shoot up in the air as MVP and Cash Money appear to a tremendous pop.)
Ring Announcer: And their opponents, Sword and Remorse!
(Revenge flashes across the ADCtron and the sliding of a sword across a leather scabbard can be heard. A flash of blue light and techno music booms through the Arena. An average looking man for a wrestler appears from the entrance way, he is dressed in a dark blue from head to toe, covering all his features. A sword image covers his face, the hilt going over his forehead, the crossguard where his eyebrows would be, the blade of the sword covering from between his eyes to cover the rest of his face. Up the sides his legs are long ornate sword designs, across his chest a sword pierces a bloodless heart. At his side is the former female wrestling champion dressed in a deep blood red, Nina Daemon Macabre. He makes his way to the ring with a sense of strong aggressiveness and determination...Behind them walks Remorse.)
Brian Rentfro: I've heard rumors that Al bet on Jekyll and Hyde to win this tournament!
(Cash Money and Remorse start out. They lock up and Remorse comes out on top with a front face lock. Money reverses to a hammerlock and powers Remorse into the corner where he takes him down with a shoulder block to the back. Money puts the boots to Remorse, then starts choking him with his foot. Money tags in MVP, who pulls Remorse up and whips him into the ropes. MVP nailing a nice spinebuster on his opponent and covers. 1...2.kickout. MVP whips Remorse into the other ropes now and he manages to tag his partner as he is rebounding off the ropes. Sword climbs up top as MVP hits a back body drop on Remorse, not realizing a tag has been made.)
Jon McDaniel: MVP didn't see the tag! He's got no idea Sword is coming!
(Sword sails off the top turnbuckle with a missile dropkick, leveling MVP. Sword picks MVP up and lands the Final Thrust. Sword covers. One...two..Cash Money dives in to break the pin with an elbow, but Sword rolls out of the way. Sword kicks Money in the stomach and hits him with the Final Thrust. MVP is back to his feet now. He kicks Sword in the stomach, sending him doubling over. MVP goes for a vertical suplex, but Sword blocks and counters with a fisherman's suplex. One...two...three!)
Jon McDaniel: Sword and Remorse just scored 5 points in the tag team tournament! What an exciting match!
Ring Announcer: Making their way to the ring, the Ultimate Heels!
(Ultra by KMFDM begins to play. Shortly after, Gangster and
Scotty Vicks, The Ultimate Heels, emerge from the back. They stop at the
entranceway to pose. Scotty holds his arms out to the side, with his hands open,
waving his fingers as if to say, "Get up." Meanwhile, Gangster stands
alongside him with the Big Hit held over his right shoulder looking contemptibly
at the crowd. They make their way to the ring, badmouthing the fans the
entire way. When they reach the ring, Gangster climbs the stairs to the ring
apron, and mounts the middle rope with one foot resting not he turnbuckle.
He shakes out his right arm, and looks around at the crowd slowly. As he does
so, Scotty spins around in the ring with his arms held out. Gangster hops down,
and enters the ring. They both make their way to the center of the ring,
where Scotty gets down, with one leg bent, and the other stretched out, and he
flexes, as Gangster stands behind him with the Big Hit pointed upward. They
begin to signal to the ring attendant to bring them a mic. The attendant makes
his way to the side of the ring, and attempts to hand it to them, but they tell
him to get in the ring and give it to them. After the attendant gives the
mic to Gangster, Gangster begins to speak.)
Gangster: Ok this ain't right! How the hell we suppose
to work like this? When we come out here, I get a mic and my friend here
gets a mic. If you don't like it, tough cause we sure don't give a shit if
you like it or not. Why are you still standing there? I don't care if you
got to buy a damn mic out of your own pay check, find one before I come
out
there and break your legs!
(With that, Gangster lunges at the
attendant, who quickly scampers out of the ring, and retrieves
another
mic, which he promptly brings to Scotty Vicks.)
Vicks: Gimme that! Sie wissen etwas? Dieser
muß der falschste riechende Platz sein, den ich überhaupt in meiner
Lebensdauer gewesen bin. Ich denke, daß der Grund an diesem fetten bastard
meistens liegt, der hier in der vorderen Reihe sitzt. Mann Chrissakes, erhalten eine Dusche (You know something? This has got
to be
the worst smelling place I have ever been in my life. I think the reason is
mostly due to this fat bastard sitting here in the front row. Chrissakes
man, get a shower!)
Gangster: For what you people
consider good, wholesome entertainment, we could prolly set your God Damn
country flag on fire out here. We'll all watch her burn to the ground and
eat pop corn. best fun you Germans have had. What you say about that whore? What? I can't hear ya! Why? Cause they don't give
nobodies a mic. Take
a hike you trash bag whore, I
think Nightmare is looking for some action
before his match out back.
Vicks: Look at
these morons, trying to insult us. Maybe if they weren't some of the
stupidest people in the world, they'd be able to. Fatty over here
sure seems to have taken offense to what I said. Let's go see what he's
trying to say. Calm down fatty, we'll be there in a minute. Don't go
getting over-anxious and eating everyone around you. Well, looks like you
already did.
(Vicks and Gangster exit the ring, and make there
way toward the man that Vicks has singled out.)
Vicks: Whoa! Stand back, Gangster, he's
pretty riled up, Might take a chunk out your arm or something. Jeez-us!
You need to cool down.
(With that, Vicks takes a beverage from a nearby
fan, and throws it over the larger man. Angered, the larger man tries to
get over the barricade at Scotty, but security is there to hold him
back.)
Vicks: Oh. You got lucky. Because if you
had gotten over that guardrail, I'd have stomped every last fat cell out
of your body. Hell, I think I should patent that, and call it the Scotty
Vicks method to weight loss. What do you think, Gangster?
Gangster: What's wrong fatty? Use the money you
had for Liapo to buy a front row ticket here tonight just to be insulted in
front of thousands of fans? No odds anyway, a forty year old gas
pumper can't possibly dream of the money that it would cost to suck all
that fat out of you damn stomach and face.
Vicks: I don't think we have enough time to point
out everyone's faults here tonight, Gangster. I mean, look at these people.
Gangster: You've got a point.
Vicks:I guess we should give these morons
what they paid to see. The best damn tag team in the history of
wrestling... US!
Gangster: One last thing. Remember
that you have just all been insulted by The Ultimate Heels and nobody does
it better!
Ring Announcer: And their opponents, representing the Dark Forces, Nightmare and Marc Bagwell!
(Nightmare and Bagwell come out to no music at all. The walk silently to the ring and Nightmare shoves Bagwell through the ropes to start the match.)
Jon McDaniel: It looks like Nightmare is none too pleased about having Bagwell as his partner tonight.
(Bagwell and Vicks lock up. Vicks starts to whip Bagwell toward the ropes, then reverses it and takes him down with a short clothesline. Vicks follows up with a quick elbow drop. Bagwell gets to his feet but Vicks scoops him up and plants him with a cradle piledriver. The Heel drags Bagwell to his corner and tags in Gangster who slingshots over the top rope and lands a legdrop on Bagwell. The crowd is chanting "You suck! You suck!")
Brian Rentfro: Already these guys have made an impact with the fans.
(Vicks jumps off the ring apron and climbs over the guard rail to sit in an empty seat. He steals a beer from a guy next to him and watches the match. In the ring, Gangster picks up Bagwell from behind as if he's going to hit him with a back suplex but crotches him on the top turnbuckle instead. Bagwell falls backwards and gets caught in the tree of woe. Gangster gets a running start and nails Vicks with a baseball slide to the face. Bagwell finally falls free and lies prone in the ring. Gangster rolls out, grabs a chair and comes back in. He sets the chair up, then jumps up to the top turnbuckle, flips backwards on to the chair, then tries a moonsault off the chair. As he's coming down, Gangster hits his face on the chair and lies helpless on the mat. Bagwell is able to roll over and drape an arm over the Heel. One...two...three. Nightmare is walking up the ramp before the count is even over.)
Brian Rentfro: Umm...that could have been a neat
move.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, hailing from Area 51, Project X!
(The lights go out and everybody is left in the dark .The phantom of the opera starts playing and then suddenly a blinding white light covers the ramp and Project-X appears wearing all black and a black mask with a phantom of the opera mask over it. As he walks down the aisle the light turns white to green and then back again.)
Jon McDaniel: It looks like the bright lights around the ring are bothering P-X. I wonder if his concussion is still giving him trouble?
Ring Announcer: His opponent, the current PWA Hardcore champion...Krazy Whyte Boy!
(KWB comes to the ring dragging a plastic garbage can behind him. It is full of junk with broom handles coming out the top.)
Brian Rentfro: Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the scientific match of the evening.
(KWB dumps the garbage can in the ring and picks up a cookie sheet. P-X blocks the blow and holds on to the sheet, kicking KWB in the stomach. P-X jumps up and dropkicks KWB. As he starts to stand, Project X shakes his head and uses the ropes to steady himself.)
Brian Rentfro: Is Project X even fit to wrestle? Did he get a doctor's clearance?
(KWB grabs P-X's right ankle and trips him, then picks up a large sausage much to the delight of the German fans. KWB starts whipping P-X with the sausage until P-X takes him down with a low blow. Again, P-X uses the ropes to get to his feet. KWB with chops across the big man's chest, sending him into the corner. KWB takes some coiled barbed wire from the trash can and wraps it around himself, then splashes P-X. KWB tries for a second splash, but Project X catches him by the throat and nails the Probe. P-X starts to stumble a bit, then collapses in the ring. KWB rolls over and makes a weak cover. One...two...three.)
Jon McDaniel: What the hell did Chamelion do to Project
X? Over a week later and he's still suffer from the effects of the beat down he
received at Summer Sizzler.
Ring Announcer: This match is for one fall and for the PWA Intercontinental Title. Introducing first, the challenger...Eric "Valek" Draven!
(Draven comes out on the ramp and suddenly a swarm of policeman and FBI agents swarm him, 3 of them tackling him and pinning him to the entrance way as they handcuff him.)
Brian Rentfro: What's going on here?
Jon McDaniel: This must be for what he did to Ron Simmons. I really don't know what to think...He's being dragged away now. I'm not sure what to say, but we'll keep you informed as more information becomes available.
Ring Announcer: Introducing first, the challenger. He is accompanied to the ring by the PWA World Heavyweight champion, Panzadise. He is...Too Panz!
(The NAP them comes on the PA as Too Panz and Panzadise go to the ring.)
Ring Announcer: His opponent is the PWA Television Champion...from the Dark Forces, Chamelion!
("You Think You Know Me" - Edge's Music from the WWF. Chamelion comes out in green and black trunks, and a scaled textured top. He walks casually down the ramp, rubbing his hands and giggling madly.)
(The two men lock up and Too Panz hits him with repeated knees to the midsection. As Chamelion doubles over Too Panz hooks his arms and sends him down with a double-arm DDT. One..two..kickout. Chamelion sits up and Too Panz snapmares him over and locks on a bow and arrow submission. Chamelion nearly reaches the ropes with his feet, but Too Panz pulls him up and bulldogs him, then covers. One...two..kickout.)
Jon McDaniel: Too Panz wants this title badly and he's pulling out all the stops!
Brian Rentfro: I know! He's not even fighting like a Panzy tonight! He just keeps pounding the champ and won't let up!
(Chamelion gets whipped into the ropes, but manages to hold on and stop his momentum. Chamelion turns to the ref and kicks him below the belt. As turns back to Too Panz, he meets the wrong side of a Panzionic Kick and goes down. Too Panz covers, but the ref is calling for the bell.)
Jon McDaniel: I can't believe it! Too Panz had the match won and Chamelion got himself DQ'ed on purpose!
Brian Rentfro: That's called strategy, McDaniel. He thought there was a slim chance he might not retain the belt, so he used the old champion's prerogative to keep it. Can't say I blame him.
Ring Announcer: The following is a non-title bout. Introducing first, the PWA World Heavyweight champion, Panzadise!
(Already at ringside, Dise enters the ring.)
Ring Announcer: And his opponent, Monkey McDee!
(Monkey McDee's voice booms over speakers, "WHO IS THE GREATEST?! ISN'T IT EASY TO SEE?! THE BESTEST OF THE BEST! OH YES.IT'S MONKEY MCDEE!!" "Brass Monkey", by Beastie Boys, soon blasts into the arena and as the first five notes are played, red fountain pyros go off horizontally across the entryway in accordance with each note. Red spotlights move rapidly around the arena as Monkey McDee enters. He is clad in a red tank top, and black wrestling tights inscribed with "Monkey" written down his left leg in red lettering and outlined in white. As he walks down the ramp, he smiles wide as his left arm swings behind his body like a tail. McDee rolls into the ring and climbs the turnbuckles, displaying "M's" formed by his fingers.)
(Dise opens by charging McDee, driving him into the corner. Dise unloads with elbows to the head, then grabs McDee's hair and throws him down on the mat. Panzadise climbs to the second turnbuckle and comes off with a fist drop. He pulls McDee to his feet, but McDee reverses a whip and catches Panzadise in a samoan drop. McDee hits a standing moonsault on the champ and hooks the leg. One..two.kickout. McDee pulls Dise up, but Dise catches him with a reverse jawbreaker.)
Jon McDaniel: Both men are really going at it. This match is too close to call right now.
(Dise pulls McDee up and whips him into the ropes, then catches him with a spinning side suplex. Dise hooks the leg. One...two..kickout. Panzadise drops a leg on McDee, the grabs both legs, making a pin while putting both his feet on the ropes. One..two..kickout. Dise pulls McDee up and lifts him for the Panzadise Bomb. But as he's being lifted, McDee scrambles over Dise's head and pulls him down in a sunset flip. One..two..kickout. Dise rolls out of the sunset flip and lunges at McDee with a clothesline. McDee catches the arm and nails the champ with a single arm DDT. Monkey McDee climbs up top and waits Panzadise to stand up, then nails him with the Spunky Monkey. Panzadise taps out.)
Brian Rentfro: Monkey McDee just beat the World champion!
Jon McDaniel: But the belt wasn't on the line! I'm sure this will have ramifications. We're all out of time tonight, but check back Saturday and during the week when we should have more information about London's Burning and Eric Draven's legal status. We'll see you Saturday in Madrid. Goodnight, folks.