Wednesday Night Chaos

January 26, 2000

[The scene opens up once again inside the PWA merchandise room.  Bud Adams is there is always ready to host yet another edition of Chaos.]

Bud Adams: Hello Folks, and welcome to Wednesday Night Chaos.  Tonight we are going to hear about a 6 man tag match, and then we are going to join Jon and Brian for a three way dance for the PWA Heavy Weight title.  But first, our opening match was The Man Vs. Styxx.

The Man Vs. Styxx

Bud Adams: The Man came out first to a decent pop and then Styxx made his usual entrance through the crowd.  When Styx got to the ring, The Man didn't waste any time and went to work on him right away with hard Right hands.   He then went to whip Styxx into the turnbuckle but Styxx tripped and went sprawling into the turnbuckle and looked like he hurt his back.  Realizing the opportunity The Man went in but Styxx yelled out that he gave up and didn't want to sustain another injury.  The Man then helped Styxx to his feet, who went storming into the back room.   I have heard word that Styxx was then confronted by President Crippler and then quit the PWA.  We will miss him.

Winner: The Man via Submission.

Tundra Vs. Aries

Bud Adams: The Crippler, who has been doing sme serious house cleaning lately stated that if Aries fails to win this match then he will also be fired from the PWA.  Aries came out first, followed by Tundra.  The two started off in the middle of the ring fast and furious.  The action soon moved to the outside of the ring where Tundra proceded to bash Aries' head into the steel guard rail.  He then tossed Aries into the steel steps.  Tundra, in solid control threw Aries back into the ring and hit the Brainfreeze and got the pin.

Winner: Tundra by Pinfall.

Reese/Fletcher/Prisoner Vs. Grendle/Black Sheep/Ashe

Bud Adams: What was originally supposed to be three matches was almalgamated into one by the commissioner.  The Prisioner and Grendle started this match and both were putting up a great fight  Grendle assaulted the Prisioner with a series of kicks to the midsection.  Grendle then snap suplexed the prisoner to the ground and went for an early pin, the prisoner kicked out after 1.   Grendle dragged the prisoner back to his corner and tagged in Ashe.  Ashe was concentrating on the prisoners leg,  Kicking it and eventually elbow dropping it.   Out of nowhere The Prisoner was able to hit Ashe with a bulldog, sending both people to the mat.  The race was on to the corners....

The Prisoner made it first and tagged in Fletcher who went over and pulled Ashe away from his corner just as he was about to the make the tag.  Fletcher then put AShe into a Boston Crab and the referee was checking for a submission.  Luckily Fletcher didn't pull Ashe fall enough from the ropes and Fletcher was forced to break the hold.  Fletcher then tossed Ashe into the ropes and tried to telegraph a move but AShe hit him with a facebuster instead.  Ashe then crawled over to his corner and tagged in his friend and fellow firestarter, Black Sheep Will Bradley.

Will came in and picked up Fletcher sending him crashing into the turnbuckle.  He then followed up with a huge knee to the midsection causing Fletcher to gasp for Air.  Blacksheep then tossed Fletcher across the ring into the other turnbuckle and tried to follow up with an elbow smash.  Fletcher was able to duck out of the way and Will hit the turnbuckle hard and Fletcher staggered into his corner and tags in Reese. 

The big man came in with a vengence on Bradley, dragging him into the center of the ring and hitting him with a huge samoan drop.  He then tossed him into the ropes, but a blind tag was made by Grendle, the ref saw it but Reese did not.

Grendle then entered the ring and took a baseball slide at Reeses kneecaps.  The move sent the big man down and Grendle then followed up with a series of kicks to the head.  Grendle then went up to the top rope for the Grendles edge, but Fletcher pushed him off the turnbuckle.  Reese then made his way over to Grendle and hit him with the chokeslam back breaker and went for the pin..1....2...3.

Winner: Reese/Fletcher/Prisoner via pinfall.

Bud Adams: We know go to join Jon and Brian for our Main event.  The Monkey Vs. Prima Donna Vs. Sirus!

Jon McDaniel: "The fans are on their feet for the Wednesday Night Chaos Main Event, Brian. They can hardly wait to see this unbelievable match-up."

Brian Rentfro: "What's unbelievable is what Prima Donna is going to do to our current champ...The Monkey's bound to be a monkey's uncle...or, he'll say uncle, and since he's a monkey...you know what I mean!"

JM: "I wish I did Brian! Thanks for joining us here on the PWA's midweek mainstay, Wednesday Night Chaos. Along side Brian Rentfro, I'm Jon McDaniel. We'll be closed captioning for your ears tonight, fans, as the PWA World Championship is put on the line."

BR: "This is so exciting, Jon-a triple threat match! Do you know what that means? Even when one guy goes for the pin, the third will be kicking the crap out of him. Oh, the carnage!"

JM: "You're right, Brian. The current champ, Stephen McDonald, is scheduled to face Sirus Moran of Natural Selection and Prima Donna of the possibly defunct ICONS in a triple threat match. The triple threat rules state that the first man to score a pinfall wins the match...and the PWA World Title!" BR: "So McDonald could lose his Championship without even being pinned!"

JM: "The outcome is far from a forgone conclusion with these three superstars in the mix!" (He's interrupted as music begins.) "Here's one of them now!"

Ring Announcer: "And now, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, standing an even 6' and weighing 234 lbs...with a Knockout so vicious it's remained Nameless...SIRUS MORAN!" (Over the speakers 'Lust For Life' starts to play. Sirus bursts onto the stage. He is wearing his normal ring attire, to his shorts to the 'L7'on his head. He dances around on the stage for a bit then stops. He brings a microphone up.) "Thank you, but I know who you really want to see. Here he is .... " (The crowd starts to go wild but is a little subdued when Grifter hops out. He walks to the edge and waves to the crowd.) "This isn't who you wanted? Then who ..... oh, I get it. Ok, here you go." (Over the speakers we hear 'Bear Love' (ala Dude Love) play. Two gorgeous women walk out into the middle of the stage. One is dark haired, the other is a red head. They are wearing something silver that are somewhere between very short cut off jeans and a bikini bottoms, a bikini top that on their straps have an open collar that forms around their necks, and a leather choker. Oh yeah, between them is 'Al'. The two ladies lift him up in the air for all to see.) "We enlisted the aid of these 'Lovely Angels' for 'Al'. They are highly trained and can handle most things that will happen here. Plus 'Al' really--and I mean REALLY--likes them." (Sirus and Grifter flank the three of them and they all head down to the ring.)

JM: "So the first contender makes his way to the ring accompanied by Grifter and 'Al'. These guys have been tough competitors and fan favorites for as long as they've been here, Brian."

BR: "And crazy. And ridiculous." (Then, under his breath,) "...but fun..."

JM: "Up next..."

Announcer: "Wrestling originally out of Hollywood, California, measured at 6'3" and 245 lbs., the Hot Stuff himself, Primaaaaa DONNA!" (The lights dim. Fireworks flare and HOT STUFF appears on the Aegian Tron. Prima Donna appears in the entry way. Testosterone by BUSH plays as he dances down the aisle. He wipes imaginary sweat from under his chin and slaps it into the crowd, then enters the ring.)

BR: "Prima Donna is definitely going to win! Look at him! He's got the whole package, and he's such a nice guy, too!"

JM: (Rolling his eyes) "It won't help you to buddy-up to Prima Donna, Brian...he's so self-absorbed, he doesn't even know anyone else is in the arena! That's not good, since he probably should be looking out for his estranged partner, Cinergy." "Now, our reigning champ..."

Announcer: "Tonight's final competitor in the PWA World Championship Triple Threat Match, your current PWA Champion, hailing from Hartford, Connecticut, standing a full 6'2" and tipping the scales at 220lbs., master of the Spunky Monkey...Stephen 'The Monkey' McDONALD!!" (The crowd hears from the speakers, "SAY YOUR A MONKEY'S UNCLE!!"...then Brass Monkey, by Beastie Boys, blasts in the arena. As the first five notes are played, small fountain pyros go off horizontally across the entryway in accordance with each note. Green spotlights Then move rapidly around the arena as Stephen MacDonald enters. He is clad in a black tank top with the "The Three Monkey's" in white on the back (Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil). He is also wearing black wrestling pants with "Monkey" written down his left leg in white lettering outlined in green. His long black hair is tied behind his head.)

JM: "The crowd is frenzied as all three competitors eye each other closely. Sirus speaks briefly with 'Al' and high-fives Grifter as they step back from the apron. PD flexes, rants, and otherwise antagonizes the Monkey as the champ lets his hair down and stretches. Here's the overworked referee for the match, Dwayne Cross, as he calls for the bell..." [Ding, ding...DING!]

JM: "Despite the bell, PD has continued to jaw at McDonald, who raises his eyebrows as he moves toward the ICON. Sirus watches from his corner. PD and The Monkey come face-to-face, and Prima Donna seems to be getting the best of the champ, who is now arguing loudly. The Monkey shoves Prima Donna, who shoves back immediately, triggering a haymaker from the Champ. PD ducks the punch and drives a forearm into McDonald's kidneys!

BR: “Ouch! Sore kidneys mean sore…you know…when you wake up and you have to…”

JM: “Oh my! A Texas brawl has ensued in the center of the ring. Both competitors are missing as much as they’re connecting. Fists and spit are flying! What an exchange! But what’s this? Sirus looks to be winding up. He waves frantically at the two combatants, screaming for them to stop. He tries again, then once more…”

BR: “He doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt. Sirus likes for everyone to hug.”

JM: “I don’t know about that, Brian. Sirus is getting to them…Prima and MacDonald are quieting. They turn…out of the ropes comes Sirus! He turned them both inside out with a double clothesline! What a move!”

BR: “That was great. You should have seen the look on Prima Donna’s face as he flipped upside down! Classic!”

JM: “The Champ and the Icon rise quickly, MacDonald’s shaking his head to clear the cobwebs…but not before Sirus locks him up and-WHAM!-fisherman’s suplex. Sirus follows up by putting the boots to the fallen Monkey.”

BR: “Better watch out for Prima Donna!”

JM: “PD is mocking the crowd. He walks briskly to Sirus and LEVELS him with a huge right hand! POW! Sirus falls and strikes the Monkey with a knee to the head, and Prima Donna begins to put the boots to both of them! Cross is close, telling PD to back off. He can’t see MacDonald, who recovers enough to-DING!-low-blow the ICON. PD falls, clutching at his nether region.”

BR: “Prima Donna will still find a way to womanize tonight after the match, sore…area…and all.”

JM: “I’m sure you’re right. All three competitors are slow to their feet. Sirus hooks MacDonald up for a vertical suplex…and Prima joins in. Double vertical suplex! They follow with a wishbone legsplitter! Oh, Mama!! The Champ is getting the works from these two unlikely cohorts.”

BR: “That didn’t last long…Sirus and Prima Donna are locked up over MacDonald, who’s still holding his…area. Oof! Knee to the gut by Prima…again…again…Sirus is losing his grip.”

JM: “Prima slips to Sirus’ side and goes for a face-first Russian legsweep…blocked by Sirus, who turns it quickly into a short-arm clothesline. Whoa! Prima holds on, wrapping Sirus’ arm around his head in a cobra clutch…WoW! Big cobra clutch clam…I mean slam.”

BR: “MacDonald is back up but Sirus is on the mat. The Moran looks dazed.”

JM: “The Champ gets to PD before the ICON sees him…wraps him in a reverse headlock and…reverse DDT puts Prima Donna down! EVERYONE is mangled, limping or curled up on the canvas. How will this end?”

BR: “Prima Donna’s got the stuff…the HOT STUFF! I just know it!”

JM: “I don’t know if anyone’s got the energy to use a move like that. The Champ drops a dazed elbow on Prima Donna, stands for another, then stands him up. MacDonald Irish whips Prima, but Sirus grabs the Champ and spins him around…cocks back…but here comes Prima out of the ropes with a double bulldog! Sirus manages to get up but Prima ducks his punch and the Moran falls, tangled, into the ropes. Grifter runs to the side to help him out, and turns to warn the masked man away.”

BR: “What a chance! Git ‘im, PD!”

JM: “Prima Donna spreads The Monkey’s legs and-STOMP-puts a big boot to the family jewels! MacDonald is helpless, but Cross didn’t see the low blow! Prima is jeering the crowd while they boo…he’s smiling because Sirus can’t get out of the ropes! HOT STUFF! HOT STUFF! Prima just hit the HOT STUFF on the defenseless Champ!! He roles him up…”

BR: “YES!” [Cross counts: 1…2…3. Bell rings.]

BR: “I knew it! I told you! Prima Donna kicked the crap out of these other two losers! I don’t know why the crowd isn’t cheering!”

JM: “He’s done it, alright. Prima Donna has WON the PWA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP! He’s pinned the current champ! Sirus is finally out of the ropes…he shrugs his shoulders, gives a thumb’s up to MacDonald, and heads out to cheers with Grifter and ‘Al’. MacDonald is still groaning on the canvas! What will come of this, fans? Stay tuned to this week’s PWA events, and make sure to join us on Saturday with the world’s leading professional sports entertainment weekly, Saturday Night Rampage! I’m Jon McDaniel for Brian Rentfro…last one out hit the lights-don’t count ‘em!”

(“Testosterone” by Bush screams as Prima holds the World Title belt high, taunting the crowd.) (Fade.)