Okay, buddy, that's it. This story is over. You're nothing but a big wussy, namby-pamby mama's boy. If you're not prepared to stare danger in the face, to undergo serious bodily injury, to leap from a speeding van wearing a chicken suit, and to undergo full cavity searches, then this adventure's not for you. Go home, wimp. And don't come back till you're ready to have a real adventure!