1. Check that your monitor is switched on
2. Make sure your eyes are indeed open
3. Ensure you are actually facing the computer
4. Look for the thing with fins
5. If you have a heart condition, are a pregnant woman
(or for that matter, a pregnant man), a dog, a midget or a trapeze artist,
I did try to warn you. You've got no one to blame but yourself. So don't
expect me to shell out for your spleen transplant, okay?