Sin for me

They were riding back towards Quantana in silence, but it cost Father Keogh a great deal to hold his tongue. Sideways glances at Anacleto revealed a not quite impassive expression. In fact, there was a touch of triumph about the set of the man's full lips, and the priest was surprised that he had begun to read him so well of late.

"Is anything troubling you, Father?" Anacleto asked at last.

The priest sighed. "I think you know what it is."

"I can hardly guess, though I imagine it must have something to do with Locha."

Father Keogh pulled sharply on the reins, and his horse halted in the middle of the moonlit path. "Why did you take me to see her?"

Anacleto paused alongside him, smirking. He patted the side of his horse's neck. "Because you asked me to. You were quite insistent, if I recall. You doubted that she was safe."

"I did not ask why I wanted to see her, but why you agreed to it. After all, you were very reluctant at first. Or at least you pretended to be."

Anacleto looked surprised at this. "I'm afraid I don't understand, Father."

"I think you do." Father Keogh sighed. "Why did you tell her that I returned her feelings?"

Anacleto hesitated a moment before answering. "I thought it possible that you did."

The priest looked at him sharply, the memory of the kiss the girl had begged him for fresh in his mind. She had asked for a love kiss - the kind of kiss that was a sin - as proof that he loved her enough to sin for her. And he had been unable to give her such a kiss. Instead, he had shamed them both with a brief peck which, even to a man of as little experience as himself, had been fatherly at best. He was very fond of Locha. But he could not give her what she wanted, and not merely because he was a priest. He was convinced that Anacleto had foreseen this.

"I don't believe you," he murmured.

Anacleto quirked his brow at him. "Why not?"

"I think you merely wanted to hurt her."

"Now why should I want to do that?"

"I don't know." Father Keogh dismounted and led his horse towards the edge of the road and gazed down over the town below. "But it has something to do with that letter. You called me an innocent earlier tonight, Anacleto. What did you mean by that?"

There was a crunch of fine rocks. A moment later, Anacleto was at his side. "I would tell you, Father, but I don't wish to be hurt as well."

"You?" Father Keogh turned towards him, his blue eyes wide. "What power do I have to hurt you?"

Anacleto made a sound that was not quite laugh and not quite sigh. He looked at the priest in disbelief. "You're the only one who can, Father. Surely you know that."

"I don't know anything anymore." Father Keogh closed his eyes and hung his head, unaware of the pain in Anacleto's expression. "Why do you confuse me so, Anacleto? Why do I not know my own mind anymore?"

"Father..." Anacleto stepped close to the priest, his eyes moving along his profile, gently outlined by the moonlight. His voice was soft when he said, "Father, are you sure it's your mind that's in turmoil?"

When Father Keogh looked at him, their faces were inches apart. "What do you mean by that?" he whispered, not knowing why he was whispering, except that the night itself seemed to be holding its breath with anticipation.

Anacleto raised his gloved hand, hesitated a moment, then let the tip of his index finger trace the priest's jaw ever so lightly. He smiled crookedly at the sharp intake of breath. "What do you feel when I touch you, Father?"

Father Keogh swallowed hard. "I feel that I should ask you not to."

"And are you going to?" Anacleto's voice was unusually hesitant. His finger traced along the priest's bottom lip, and he felt its quiver even through his glove. He forced himself to move slowly, to take no risk of hurrying a decision.

"I don't know if I can." Father Keogh's voice was husky and unsure.

Anacleto's chest clenched at the sound of it. "So if I asked you to kiss me in a way that would be a sin, would you do so?"

There was a long pause during which neither dared to take a full breath. Finally, the priest murmured cautiously, "To the church, it would be an even greater sin than kissing Locha."

Anacleto smiled. "No doubt. But would it be truer? Would it be the kind of kiss she hoped for?" Their eyes were burning brightly enough to see each other clearly even in the moonlight. "I hardly dare ask this, Father, but I must know." He lowered his eyes. "Am I the reason you cannot love her? Would this be a love kiss?"

Father Keogh's answer was on his lips before he had consciously decided to voice it, but he knew it was true, and it would have been true since the moment he had first laid eyes on the bandit. There was nothing he could do except to say the words which would seal his fate. "Yes, Anacleto. It would be."

Anacleto stared at him, his expression unusually open. He moved closer. Very close. Until their mouths were almost touching, and breathed, "Then sin for me."

Father Keogh closed the last inch between them. There was a soft gasp of pleasure, Anacleto's lips parting against his, and he deepened the kiss hesitantly. He had never kissed a man, had never kissed anyone this way. And he knew with absolute certainty he would never again kiss anyone but Anacleto until the day he died. It was more overwhelming than anything in his experience, and it stoked a fire he could already feel flaring out of control. And while it should feel wrong in every way imaginable, nothing had ever been more right than to feel Anacleto's lips against his.

Anacleto sighed into the kiss, and when Father Keogh felt the tip of his tongue teasing along his own, filling his mouth with Anacleto's taste, he was lost. His hands met behind Anacleto's neck before he knew he had raised his arms.

Anacleto pulled him close, the kiss growing more passionate by the moment. Neither of them could stop it for long minutes, not until the need for breath finally separated them, leaving them both gasping.

"I was so afraid you might kiss her this way." Anacleto's mouth brushed Father Keogh's cheek. "I had to know. Had to be sure. I'm sorry." His gloved hands tightened in the back of Father Keogh's cassock, and his moan when he held him close was echoed by the priest.

"I forgive you," Father Keogh said breathlessly, his head tipping back when he felt Anacleto's lips below his ear, hot and damp on his skin. "I fear I would forgive you anything."

The lips moved down the Father's neck, brushing almost mockingly across his collar. "Tell me why."

Father Keogh reluctantly drew back far enough to meet Anacleto's eyes - eyes which were burning like the very fires of hell. Burning for him, in more ways than one. "Because I have felt you were my responsibility from the start. That your soul... your very salvation... was in my hands."

Anacleto's lips quirked up in a slight smile. "Is it still merely my soul you're interested in?"

Father Keogh felt that, were it light, Anacleto might see him blushing. "Not entirely."

The bandit's hands moved down Father Keogh's side to rest on his hips. "Is my soul lost now, Father? For corrupting a priest?"

The answer required no thought and allowed no excuses. "As lost as the soul of that priest."

Anacleto looked deep into his eyes, searching to see whether Father Keogh truly believed those words. he felt an unaccustomed twinge of guilt. "Don't blame yourself. Please. I'm not sorry about any of this." He rested his cheek against the priest's. "Do you hate me for that?"

Sighing, Father Keogh closed his eyes, feeling Anacleto warm against him and more real than his God could ever be. "I could never hate you, Anacleto. Even if I tried, I could never lie to my heart." He felt Anacleto's smile against his cheek.

"Then may I kiss you again?"

"Yes."

Anacleto kissed him more gently than before, trembling when he tasted salt on the soft lips. When he finally released them to look at the priest, he surprised them both with his next words. "I've never loved until now."

Father Keogh raised a trembling hand to caress Anacleto's cheek. "I thought my vocation had taught me to know love. But not like this. I cannot make myself believe that this could possibly be wrong."

Anacleto swallowed hard. "You know, Father... for the first time in my life, I find myself believing in something. That it should be you..." He covered the hand on his cheek.

Father Keogh sighed. "Oh, Anacleto. I don't know what will happen to us after this. But if we fall, I promise you, we will be in each other's arms."



THE END
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