How does one forget a friend who should have become a lover?

Wanting to was not enough, as Tequila realized day after day, over and over again. At first, he had thought that it was fear for Tony and his well-being - irrational fear, now that the former undercover cop had been given a new life and identity. But as first weeks and then months went by, Tequila began to feel more and more empty.

Teresa had been concerned at first, but slowly, they had grown apart more than ever before. At times, Tequila felt that she resented Tony, because he occupied Tequila's thoughts more consistently than she herself did. Tequila had begun to accept that fact, but he knew that Teresa would not, nor could he truly expect her to. So a few weeks ago, he had offered to move out of their shared home and she had agreed, breaking off their engagement.

But what was he to do now? Even if he knew where Tony was, how could he simply go to him? What would he say?

He should have known when they had parted that everything had changed. He should have recognized his feelings for what they were. But he had not, and Tony had left. Where he'd gone, Tequila didn't know and couldn't find out. No one except his superior knew of Tony's whereabouts, and he - Tequila - had nothing he could offer up as a reason to need to know. Nothing except... love.

Tequila sighed deeply, knowing *that* reason was his alone.

But it ate away at him. It hurt him more than the loss of his longtime friend and colleague Benny at the Teahouse shoot-out had done. Even the thought that Tony could have died during the hospital take-over hurt him more than the thought of all the innocents who had lost their lives then. For that, Tequila hated himself. But love was selfish.

All he had wanted was a peaceful life with Teresa. Perhaps children. A few friends who weren't cops, so that he would at least not have to fear for them all the time.

But instead, Tequila found that the only thing he truly needed in his life was something he couldn't even dream about. Not without going mad.

He rode his motor-cycle to the harbor, to the pier where Tony's boat used to be anchored. He did so often, always spending at least an hour simply staring at the gently lapping waves, waiting against all hope for the white sails to appear on the horizon, and for Tony to come back.

Come back to what? He could never come back to Hong Kong, not without risking his life. Johnny Wong may be dead, but his people would never stop looking for Tony. Or for him. But he had long since decided against leaving Hong Kong - not because he loved it too much, or because of anyone keeping him there, but because if he did leave and Tony ever returned, he would never be able to find him.

Ridiculous. Why would Tony return? To die? To die with him? But what if he came back to live with him... that thought never failed to cause a dull ache in Tequila's heart. It would be paradise. To be so close to the one person who had ever touched his life so deeply, who had been so much like himself. So... homeless. Homeless except for the home he had made for Tony in his heart, and that Tony might have made for him, had he not been too afraid to speak.

Tequila had seen tears in Tony's eyes when they'd said goodbye. They had both known that it would be forever. And right now, Tequila had tears in his eyes, sitting on the pier and staring out to sea, wondering where that sleek yacht had taken Tony. Was he still sailing the oceans? Or had he settled down somewhere? Perhaps forgotten all about him?

Tequila thought back to that short time they'd known each other. To the pain and violence that had brought them together and the friendship and respect that had made them so close so quickly. He had never made friends easily, yet with Tony... One day, they'd nearly killed each other, the next they'd been friends, as if it had never been any other way. It never could be now.

No, Tequila knew that Tony hadn't forgotten him. He could still feel their connection over the distance between them, even if they were doomed to never look into each others' eyes again.

Tequila pulled the small object he always carried with him out of his jacket pocket. The paper crane Tony had sent to him that day at the hospital was nearly gone now, the carefully folded paper frazzled and thin. But Tequila couldn't stop himself from carrying it around with him. It was the reminder he didn't need, but at least it was something that had belonged to Tony. He remembered how he had rushed to the station after Tony had left, backing down at the last moment from tearing the photo from Tony's file. Instead, he'd asked Pang for the lighter which had been a gift to Tony for his birthday.

And that was all he had now... a lighter and a fragile paper crane.

As his feelings and longing for Tony had grown stronger, the crane had dissipated. Tequila knew that by the time the gift would be dissolved entirely, he would love so deeply that to go on without Tony might not be possible anymore.

Cupping the paper crane in his palm gently, Tequila closed his eyes. He didn't need a photo to remember. He could conjure up Tony's face with such ease - the smile which could light up his friend's entire face, the spark in his gentle eyes, the glow of his skin when the sun reflected onto it from the water... and the spiky hair, somehow symbolic of its owner's boundless energy and will to live.

And inevitably, Tequila always remembered the expression on Tony's face when Wong had held him hostage and he, Tequila, had endured humiliation after humiliation, and would have continued to do so for Tony's sake. His friend's expressive eyes had held fear and shame, not for himself, but for Tequila. He had hated what Tequila had done, but it had been the only way to deceive Wong into letting down his guard.

And when Tony - after his mad stunt of shooting himself with Wong's gun to end Tequila's humiliation - fell as well, Tequila had rushed to his side. If Tony had been dead, everything would have been in vain. That was the moment he'd become certain of his feelings. And perhaps that was the moment when he should have told Tony.

Or at least, once Tony had healed. During one of his daily hospital visits. Or the day Tony was officially released from his police duty. Or... when they had said good-bye.

That moment in time was always in Tequila's mind - the brief but intense embrace right here, in the very spot where he now whiled away much of his free time. The way Tony's spiky hair had felt against his cheek - so unexpectedly soft, the way Tony's hands had clutched at his shoulders, as if he was begging him not to let him go.

But then, moments later, they had separated and shared an embarrassed little smile before Tony had picked up his bag and turned to climb aboard his yacht which would take him away from Tequila forever.

Jokingly, Tony had once claimed he was going to make a new life at the North Pole, because it was daylight there 24 hours a day. But where was he really?

That thought was slowly driving Tequila mad, because thinking it didn't give him any answers. He'd even considered marching into Super-Intendant Pang's office and demanding to know Tony's whereabouts. For all the good it would do him. Not even the threat of violence would get him an answer from his stoic by-the-book boss.

With a sigh, Tequila rose and made his way back home to his tiny, empty apartment.

"Tequila!" Teresa called out, startling him out of his reverie at work the next day.

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

Tequila smiled up at her. It was strange, but since they'd split up again, they'd been getting along much better. She certainly seemed happier these days, although he wasn't sure whether that was on account of not being with him anymore or on account of Pang's advances.

"I'm okay," he said simply.

She nodded, looking doubtful. "Well, I guess you won't need this to cheer you up then."

He frowned, realizing she was hiding something behind her back.

"What is it?" he asked tiredly, not really interested. There was nothing at all which could cheer him up except...

Teresa broke into a bright smile and stretched out her hand to him. It held a single white rose. "It just arrived."

Tequila gaped at Teresa for a moment, confused. Tony used to send her white roses while he was undercover, each bouquet containing an encoded message. It had been pure coincidence that Teresa had been the recipient - she and Tony had never even met at that point. The roses had been Tony's original way of hiding the messages.

But... why was there a white rose now? Who would...

"You're so slow sometimes." Teresa sighed, opening his palm and resolutely pressing the flower into it. "Hurry, Tequila! It just arrived. For *you*!"

Finally, it dawned on him. "You mean...?"

She nodded. "Who else, silly?"

Tequila jumped to his feet, beaming at her before grabbing her and spinning her around like a doll. Then, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead and ran out of the office, laughing at Pang's annoyed, "Where do you think you're off to, Sergeant Yuen?"

"To the North Pole, Sir!"

Driving his motorcycle at neck-breaking speed, Tequila made it to the pier in record time, further hurried onwards by the sight which greeted him - a sleek yacht with white sails, stunning against the deep blue water and the luminous sky. Not as stunning however as the figure in white, standing on deck and watching his arrival at the pier.

Once Tequila got closer, he saw the familiar face and the smile greeting him. Even at a distance, it was exactly how he'd remembered it - bright and warm, just like the sun itself.

Tony came to the ladder on the side of the boat, reaching out a hand to help Tequila get onboard faster.

And then, they simply stood, gazing at each other in disbelief.

Tony found his voice first. "Was I wrong to come back?"

And Tequila broke out laughing, hesitating only another moment before rushing forward and pulling Tony into his arms, nearly lifting him off his feet.

"Is that a 'no'?" Tony asked jokingly, his arms around Tequila's middle and his head pressed against his neck in a gesture of pure surrender.

"Yes." Tequila murmured, his voice thick. "I mean, no. No, you weren't wrong."

Tony allowed himself to be held. It was so good to be in Tequila's arms like *this*, rather than being cradled there with a gunshot wound or revived from electric shock. He shivered slightly at the memory.

When Tequila drew back, Tony beamed up at him. "If you haven't been thinking about me at least half as much as I've been thinking about you, I'm making a big fool of myself."

"You've always been a fool," Tequila stated, but broke into a smile immediately. "That's probably why I couldn't forget you."

Growing serious, Tony moved back a step, one hand remaining on Tequila's forearm. "I have to know - have you missed me as a friend, or...?"

Instead of a reply, Tequila reached around Tony's waist and drew him forward roughly, capturing his mouth in a kiss.

And it felt as though the sea below was rising and the boat was being thrown in the air wildly as Tony's arms flew around Tequila's neck and he pressed himself close full-length.

This was how love should be. Not a comprise, not gently lapping waves and a calm sea but a taifun of emotions, raging and nearly tearing you apart.

When they finally moved apart a little, breathing rapidly and smiling without a trace of embarrassment, Tony reached to stroke a hand over Tequila's smooth cheek.

Tequila closed his eyes, his hand covering Tony's smaller one.

"You know I can't stay in Hong Kong."

Tequila looked at him. "I know. But..."

Tony looked at him seriously before turning and walking a few steps, looking out to sea. "I had to come back to find out... to ask you if..."

"Yes!"

Tony stared at him. "Yes?"

Tequila nodded. "Just tell me when. Now?"

Gaping, Tony merely looked at him. "I can't even risk coming on land, so you'd have to..."

Tequila had already jumped back onto the pier, busying himself with the yacht's moorings.

Tony watched in amazement. As always, Tequila's resolution left him speechless. Did this mean that he'd been agonizing as much as he himself had done?

Back onboard, Tequila beamed at him. "I'm ready."

Tony looked at him, his eyes narrowed.

For a moment, Tequila was afraid he'd misunderstood, but then, Tony broke into a wide smile. "You are..."

"I am. Let's go."

Tony laughed and Tequila joined in.

"What about Teresa?"

Tequila waved his hand in the direction of the harbor, waving the notion as well as his former life away. "She's happier without me."

Tony nodded slowly. "True. She's too good for you anyway."

"Well, are we going or what?" Tequila grinned, playfully punching Tony in the stomach.

"I remembered right - you *are* bossy."

"Damn right I am." Tequila reached to squeeze Tony's shoulder. "Let's go," he repeated more seriously.

"What about Pang?"

Tequila sighed. "Do I look like I care?"

"No."

And laughing, they prepared the yacht to leave the pier.

A few hours later, they lay together on deck, stretched out on a towel. Watching the sun slowly dip into the sea and feeling the wind on half-exposed skin were suddenly the most beautiful sensations in the world.

Tony lay in Tequila's arms, sighing contentedly. "Why did I ever leave without you?"

"Because I was an idiot not to tell you how I felt."

Tony laughed softly. "Yes, that's right." When he earned a scowl from Tequila, he rose on one elbow and looked down at him. Running one finger lovingly down Tequila's face, he added, "But I should have known. After all, you went through a lot on account of me. I still can't believe you let Wong..."

"Shh..." Tequila turned and covered Tony's mouth with his own, his arms protectively around the smaller body as he drew Tony close.

Tony's lips parted, allowing Tequila's tongue to enter him tenderly. The first wild rush of their passion had left them both comfortably lethargic, but not so much so that they could stop touching for any length of time.

Dressed in nothing but loose white pants, Tony showed signs of Tequila's lack of restraint in everything, bearing tiny scratches and love bites on his upper body.

"Sorry about... those..." Tequila said softly, tracing the bite mark at the juncture of Tony's neck and shoulder.

"Hey, are you kidding? I want more of those!" Tony laughed, drawing lazy circles on Tequila's bare chest and his stomach, moving down to the edge of the pale blue towel his lover wore wrapped around his middle.

"You do, huh?"

Tony nodded solemnly. "I left with nothing to remember you by except my dreams. Now I want everything."

Tequila thought about this and it was true. By comparison, the little treasures he'd been carrying with him were the most valuable possessions in the world. He reached for his loose jacket laying nearby and pulled the frazzled paper crane out of the pocket.

"I had your lighter and this." He smiled and Tony returned the smile.

"You kept that?"

"Only until I would get the real thing back." And Tequila stretched his arm and tossed the crane overboard without so much as another glance.

Tony's eyes softened. "I had no idea you were such a romantic."

Remembering how Tony had joked about him never sending his girl flowers when she got them even from an undercover cop, he smiled. "Must have learned it from you."

"I learned something from you, too." Tony smirked.

"Oh yeah?"

"I learned to do something really, really stupid and reckless for the sake of someone who means... everything to me."

Tequila smiled. "Like you weren't stupid and reckless enough to begin with."

Laughing, they fell back into each others' arms and rolled about the deck.

When Tequila wound up on top, he held Tony still and looked down at him lovingly until he drew one of those smiles.

"What?" Tony chuckled.

"I missed your smile so much. There were times when I needed it more than food or water."

Tony's lips parted in a little gasp. "Love you."

Tequila beamed and sat on the backs of his legs. He let out a triumphant shout, raising his face to the sun and reaching up towards the sky. Suddenly, it was wonderful to be alive.

Tony watched him, laughing happily. It suddenly came to him that Tequila had never even asked where it was they were going. "How do you feel about Guam?"

Tequila grinned. "You're going to be there with me, right?"

Tony nodded and smiled.

"I love the place already!"