Sunshine's Testimony

Since I have been saved, I have been changed in many ways, but over the past year I have truly grown in my faith. I now realize that I do not have to concern myself about what the future holds, I have completely surrendered to him. My life belongs to God, he has a purpose for me. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is my testimony.....

I was born in the fall of 1973 and was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy at the age of 9 months. It is a severe muscle deterioration disease of all of your voluntary muscles and at the time I was diagnosed my parents were told, that like my sister, I most likely would not live past 9 years old. Obviously, this was devastating for my parents, they already had one disabled child, and now they had 2 with a death sentence. After the diagnosis, we moved to Florida so that my sister and I could see specialists. Growing up, I was always told about God, and I constantly read my Children’s Bible. The problem was that, to me, the Bible had become a book filled with great and amazing stories, I didn't really know God personally. We had never been to church so there was no way for me to fully grasp what I had been reading. In the spring of 1988 when I was 14 years old, I had been searching for something, I felt so empty inside, I had been depressed for some time and I didn't know where to turn. I spoke to my sister and brother-in-law, and the next week I attended the church that they had been going to with my brother. It was so wonderful, and for the first time in my life I felt as if I belonged. Shortly after that I accepted the Lord as my Savior, I had never been happier, I learned that God loved me and He would see me through my difficult times. A year later things began to change at our church, the people at the church were great but more and more Jesus was being pushed out and man was being elevated, what a confusing time this was for me, as a new christian I bearly understood. Finally, my brother, sister and I broke all ties with the church, although it was a painful experience, I refused to let it break my spirit. God knew my heart, He knew that I loved Him. He would forgive me for this mistake I had made. After all, we all make mistakes, some bigger than others, but we are all human and no one is perfect but Jesus. All we can do is strive to be like Him. After this had happened, I still read my bible and prayed every day but I was terrified of finding a new church, I was afraid I would end up in the same situation again.

Two years later, my parents decided that it was time to move back home, "home" for them was Jamaica. This was honestly culture shock for me, I hadn't been there since I was a baby and everything was so different compared to all I ever knew. The only constant I had was God, I knew He was there for me even at my darkest moments. In 1997 I planned a trip to Florida to spend my birthday with my sister and her husband, my brother also came along, so our vacation was like old times. On the last night of our trip we went out to dinner and near the end of our meal,the conversation turned to what each of us would like the Lord to do in our lives in the coming years. When it was my turn, my answer was for God to send me a husband, I had to be married by the time I was 28, that way I'd be mature enough and still be strong enough to have a child if we chose to do so. We then prayed, including very detailed personality traits that I wanted him to have. We had no idea how God was going to do this, but as the Bible says in Matthew 19:26 Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." When I returned to Jamaica, my father gave me my birthday gift, a new computer with internet access. I thought it was the greatest thing because not only could I do online devotionals, I could speak to people from all over the world. In the summer of 2000 I met Steve (my husband) online, we quickly became best friends, he was everything I had prayed for, and on March 2nd 2001 Steve proposed, we were married on September 1 2001, four days before my 28th birthday. I had left it in God's hands and had not even thought about it. My brother and sister had not forgotten and commented on the fact that I got exactly what I asked for.

Last summer Steve and I visited a friend in Rowley, Massachusetts, he told us that we really needed the support of a church family. We prayed about this and visited a few churches before finally finding one we felt at home in. We have been so blessed to have a wonderful church family that accepts us and loves us so completely.

I know many people have prayed for me to be healed of this disease, and unsaved people ask if my God is so wonderful why doesn't he heal me. The past year I have finally found my answer as I have grown spiritually. First of all, God is a God of timing, it could very well be that it isn't time yet. There is also the fact that it isn't my will be done but His, He may need use me in my suffering to bring others to Him. As for healing, he has healed me, my broken spirit, he may not have given me physical strength but he has given me spiritual strength, with this I can handle all of lifes challenges. This doesn't mean I will give up and just take what life brings, I'm extremely strong willed and a fighter, I will fight until the Lord takes me home to be with the angels. I've been having a rough time recently and I also know that I have a rough road ahead, but I now know that with the love of God, my husband and my wonderful church family, I can get through anything. God has blessed me so much and in so many ways, I just thank him for loving me.