Rosie's Story

Rosie was a very much wanted Babe. I found out at 6 months pregnant that Rosie was an Anen Baby. Anencephaly, I rolled the name off my tongue heck, Id never even heard of it. I sat there looking at the Doctor while she explained to me and Rosies Dad what this condition was. Her voice seem to drone on and on. I remember hearing the word terminal and fatal condition. I felt Rosie kicking me so comforted her with my hand while listening to the Doctor saying about terminating the pregnancy would be the best option and blah. Here I sat listening to this Doctor talking about termination and feeling a unborn life kicking my hand. Rosies Dad was crying in shock of the news I sat stunned like a stunned mullet while it sunk in my Baby is going to die. Id heard her heartbeat. We had been both had bad morning sickness together, my baby had put up with my choice in music, we read books together, caught the bus, went to work and ate. Now Im being told to terminate her? Its for the best Im told. Whose best? Certainly not mine. When the Doctor came in I gave her my answer no termination thank you. The Doctor did remind me several times that my Baby was not going to live. In fact was very graphic how my baby would look when born. I went into labor at work and had just finished a banana milkshake. I ended up at the hospital and a student nurse broke my waters. As my labor progressed a specialist came in to exam me. He said the babys shoulders were caught so he had to move her around so she could be born. I had the heart montier around me and I could the beeps of her heartbeats. I knew she was still with us. Then as the head crowned the beeps stopped. I knew Rosie had died. My brave little Rosie who stayed with her Mother right to the very end was no more. There was just me, 2 midwives, the Doctor and Rosies Dad and now Rosie. I saw her blue little body and her head, her condition of Anencephaly but to me she was so beautiful. I was cleaned up and taken back to my room. The Doctor came in and tried to say a few words of comfort saying the two midwives were crying their eyes out. One brought Rosie to me wrapped in a hospital blanket her eyes were wet and red. She asked if I wanted to hold Rosie. I declined and that is my one regret. She said I was brave. I told her no Im not the brave one, my baby is. I had no support other than the Father and myself, and a few friends who have now moved on. I will always be grateful for their time when I needed them. I dont have pictures,footprint or handprint,hair however I have Rosies ashes and my memories. This is part of the Rosie Story, that I share with you. Rosie was my first child and even though I have had others she is counted among my children. My best wishes to you all, Hugs and God Bless, Wendyxx

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