We found out on Jan.23,1998 we were having twins. We didn't know what to think. Two babies instead of one. We were surprised anyway. This was not a planned pregnancy. Even though we were still tickled to death. Everything went great up to my 34th week. This is when i went into premature labor. They put me in the hospital overnite to try to stop it. They got it stopped pretty easy. They let me go home the very next morning. We had been told for sure the day before it was a boy and a girl. We had decided to name them Aaron Micheal and Ashley Danielle. We were more and more excited the closer the time came. They had originally thought one was breech but at the end they saw the 1st on out was head down. So this meant vaginal birth. This made things a little scary for me. We had talked to the doctor and, we all decided that it was in my best interest to do a c-section. I have athsma and a past record of high blood pressure. I had swelling and high blood pressure with my first pregnancy. So they decided to do a c-section 2 weeks early. The twins looked like they were a good size. All their vital organs looked good on the ultrasound. So they thought everything would be fine. The morning we all had been waiting on August 20,1998. The morning of my c-section. My husband and I arrived at the hospital around 8:00am that morning. They were behind on getting me prepped. So we were behind on getting the c-section started. I was getting very impatient by this time. It was 10:20 am and they took me to the operating room. They gave me the spinal tap and then brought my husband in. Boy was I glad to see him. I was scared to death by this time. When they had numbed me it went up to far and numbed my chest to and I was panicing by now. I could not tell I was breathing. I felt like I was smothering. When he got in there they started. Aaron was born at 10:48am He was a big baby.He had dark brown hair and a lot of it to. He looked just like his daddy. He had big bright dark blue eyes. They were wide open. He had a little faint cry when he cried. They handed him to daddy to hold over and let me see. We were both crying and very proud of him. Then they took him over to the warmer to clean him up. Then Ashley was born. She was not as big and her hair was a lighter brown.They had the same bright dark blue eyes. They both had their eyes wide open. She had a loud cry. They were finally here. They were both identical . They put Ashley in the warmer after they held her over for us to see. We were still crying our eyes out. We were both so proud of our babies. I couldn't wait to hold them and see what our older daughter thought about her brother and sister. She had been just as excited as us. They then let Daddy carry them both to the nursery to be weighed. Aaron weighed 7lbs. 15 oz and Ashley weighed 7lbs.even. All the nurses could not believe how big they were. When they got them to the nursery Aaron had to be taken over to the Intensive Care side. He was having trouble getting started. He had to have more oxygen. Ashley was doing great though. His heart rate kept on going really high (160bpm) They said this was way to high for him. His little chest just jerked when he would cry, move, or get excited. He looked like he was having trouble breathing.This worried the doctors and not to mention us. They let me take Ashley to my room but said Aaron had to stay in the nursery that night. They wre going to have to watch him closely. They had a heart monitor on him. They first though he may have swallowed some amniotic fluid. Then they said that it could be a heart murmur but his heart just didn't soound right. So they let me go in and see him later that night. He looked so pitiful when he would breathe. I just cried. I could not stand it. The biggest on but yet not the healthiest one. I just rubbed his leg and told him how much we all loved him. We could just rub his leg and hold his hand but we could not hold him because he was hooked up to all of that monitor and stuff. My husbnad cried to right along with me. We were heart broken to see our little buddy so sick. I told him i wanted him to get better because mommy wanted to hold her little man to. We were scared to death. We had no idea what was wrong with hm. He didn't do good through the night so they had to call the doctors in Winston Salem, NC. The next morning they asked for permission to send him to Baptist Hospital in Winston Salem, NC. I was so upset I knew it was serious if he had to be sent down there. They were not sure what was wrong with him there and wanted to send him to where they could find out. This really worried all of us. They let me go into the nursery that next morning and hold him before they got there to get him. They brought me Ashley to so i could hold them both. I finally got to hold both of my twins together. I just looked back and forth and cried. It really killed me and my husband to see him so sick. When we could not do anything to make him better. They made me go back to my room so they could get him ready to go. My little 3 year old at the time just didn't understand. She made everyone make 50 trips to the nursery to see her brother. She could not figure out why everyone was so upset. Not to mention could not hold her brother and her sister together. She had been told all along she could hold them both together. She would have two babies instead of one to take home. Now Aaron could not come out of the nursery and they were coming to take him away is what it felt like to her. They came to take him to Winston. The nurses that were going to transport him brought him to my room for me to say good bye to him and see him for the last time before they left. I cried the whole time. They let me put my hand in the incubator and rub his little head. He fell asleep looking at me. Thy had to get him on down so I told him mommy loved him and I would see him when i got out of the hospital. I cried for hours and hours that evening. My husband followed him in the ambulance all the way down, My dad (Billy) and brother-n-law (David) rode down with him. After they got him settled in and done some test they told my husband he had Hypoplastic Left Heart. This is where the left side of his heart was not fully developed. This was very life threatening if not treated real soon. They kept him sedated and on a ventilator until surgery. The first time i got to see him when I got out of the hospital I broke down. He was so lifeless and pitiful looking. He had all kinds of tubes running in him everywhere. It just broke my heart. I could not stand it. I stood by his bedside the whole time i was there. Rubbing his little head and talking to him. Telling him how much i loved him and how much i wanted to make him better. When he had his surgery they gave him a 70/30 chance. Not good but better than 50/50 or less. So we still had hope and I was not giving up on my baby boy. Just to know he was like this and i could not do anything to help him made me feel so helpless. He came trhough the surgery great! Better than the doctor himself thought he would do. He was improving so very much....This is when everything changed. His heart started going into defibs where it stopped and shivered. He was getting no blood to or from his lungs. He was a very sick little boy. Thy had warned us of the obstacles he would have to overcome. He was doing so good at all of them until this happened. He came back pretty good for this. He was still alive that was all that mattered. He was a fighter that was for sure. He was still hanging on for Mommy. All of this scared us to death. The first time his heart done this it damaged his liver but it had started to heal itself. Then it done it again. This time it was worse. This time it damaged his liver again and his kidneys. They were both just barely working. So he had went from doing great to almost gone. We just took it day by day. Going down and holding his hand and telling him how much we loved him, and how much we wanted to take him home. One of his Nurses Sherry Olliges played a little tape for him that we made. So he could hear our voices and us talking to him and singing to him like we never left his side. She was really a great friend to us...For this we are still grateful to this day...She gave us so much relief when she was with him...we knew he was being taken care of. We could come home and be at ease of knowing if something had happened she would have called and let us know.. She was just like an Angel to our family....She was so nice to us and showed so much love to Aaron when he was in her care. She would tell him she loved him and that he was her "Sweet Boy." It was so obvious that she loved him deep in her heart. With his liver and kidneys trying to quit and his blood pressure dropping all the time we knew things didn't look good...but we never let go of our hope. So every little bit of comfort we could find helped. Still we prayed to God to make him better or to do what he saw best. I had put it all in God's Hands from the very beginning. He clung to life as long as he could and he just could not do it anymore. His heart had started making this white substance that was working against him to. It was helping to make his heart weaker and weaker. Along with the defibs. Thy called us on Sept. 6, 1998 and told us we may want to come on back down he wasn't doing so good. We got there at 7:00pm and he was pronounced at 7:55 pm. They had done all they could do and he just could not come out of it this time. They brought him out to the conference room for us to hold him...and tell him good bye.. for the last time. We have so many memories that no one can take away. This was the 2nd and last time I would ever get to hold him. I just could not believe he was gone...My husband and I were so broken hearted. We took turns holding him and telling him how much we loved him. We had prayed so hard for him to get better. Only the Lord had done what he saw best and took him home to be an angel and hurt no more. So it was a blessing but at the time we just didn't really realize it like that. We both felt really let down I guess you could say. WE had watned the son he gave us and yet he needed him back home in heaven. We still had Ashley to hold on to but we had longed for Aaron to. Now we both know he is up in heaven looking down waiting on us. We miss him so very much. We think about him each and everyday. He will always be with us. He only got to spend a short 17 days here with us but he will spend 4-ever in our hearts. We are waiting on the day we will all meet again in heaven where we will not have to miss him again. I know he is in heaven as our Guardian Angel. Mommy, Daddy, Brittany and Ashley love you Aaron! We miss you so very much. You will always be "OUR LITTLE BUDDY!" Mommy Billie-Lynn Still grieve 3 Visit Aaron's Page We are connected, My child and I, By an invisible cord Not seen by the eye. It's not like the cord That connects us 'til birth This cord can't be seen By any on Earth. This cord does it's work Right from the start. It binds us together Attached to my heart. I know that it's there Though no one can see The invisible cord From my child to me. The strength of this cord Is hard to describe. It can't be destroyed It can't be denied. It's stronger than any cord Man could create It withstands the test Can hold any weight. And though you are gone, Though you're not here with me, The cord is still there But no one can see. It pulls at my heart I am bruised...I am sore, But this cord is my lifeline As never before. I am thankful that God Connects us this way; A mother and child Death can't take it away! ~Author Unknown~ Visit Noah's Page I don't understand why you had to go; I felt so close to you as I helped you grow; I'll never forget when they told me the news; My heart was in pain, My mind was confused. You were going to make us happy as happy could be; But now there is this emptiness deep inside of me. I know there is a reason he took you away, my precious little angels who could not stay; I know in my heart you will always be near, And deep inside my soul, you will always be dear. I love you my angels and I miss you so much, I'll never forget your special little touch. At just a little over 16wks gestation , our indentical twin daughters, Mikayla and Kaitlyn , were born silent due to incompetent cervix. I had been having some problems on and off through out the pregnancy, but never dreamed that anything like this would happen. We were so thrilled at the news of having twins and them being little girls was the "icing on the cake"! We named them right away and they soon became known as Miki and Kaity or "The Monkeys"! At one of my regular doctors visits , they found that I was starting early labor, my cervix was dialating and I need the emergency cerclage to stitch my cervix. They sent me immediately to the hospital and were preparing for the surgery. I saw the babies on ultrasound, they were both moving and Mikayla showed us her lil bottom a few times! I still was under the imrpession all would be fine, the surgery sounded simple enough and I could see my babies were fine as well. However, as time was passing I had a few pains then a horrible cramp and my water broke. There was lots of rushing around and then I remember the doctor saying there was nothing he could do, my water had broke and delivery was inevitable. I cannot really put into words how horrilbe it was to hear that and how I was feeling. I reacted so terrible, by fighting and trying my best to deny what was happening. However, on August 27, 1999 Mikayla Dawn and Kaitlyn Ray were born silent at 16wks and 3 days gestation. I was so out of it and in shock that I barely even looked at them and I regret this with all my heart. I only wish I would have held them for just a moment, and told them how much I loved them and wanted them. I miss them both so very much and just wish so much things would have been different for us all. Mommy - Kelly Still Grieve 2 and 3 At 17 weeks 6 days gest. Due to complications caused by trisomy 13 My dear baby boy, my precious child, Happy second birthday in Heaven, Tommy. I miss you oh so much, and love you with all my heart. It hurts so much thinking about how I will never be able to kiss your boo boos better, or smooth your hair when you are sleeping. My only comfort is knowing that your perfect soul is free from an imperfect body, and you will never know pain. I know that someday I will get to hold you again, but until then, I will have this ache.....this empty space in my heart. Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, and I wouldnt have it any other way. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be." ~I'll Love You Forever~ ~by Robert Munsch~ Love Always, Mommy Joscelynne Still Grieve 2 mommy to one on Earth, and three in Heaven Visit Williams Home Page         Brooke's Birthday August 6th         Lyndy's Birthday August 24th