Joey walked down the dark streets, swimming in something he couldn’t discern to be bliss or awe. His life had always been a playful, optimistic sport that had never held a serious element in it besides the music. Now he felt radically changed because he desired one thing more seriously than anything he had ever felt before. It gave him a weird sort of energy and he knew that if he went home he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He wondered if he’d ever be able to sleep again in his life.
He wasn’t sure how long he walked but he felt, suddenly, that he had reached a destination and looked up at the aqua colored apartments that stood before him. A string of shock coursed through him and he wondered why his feet had led him there. He was even more astounded to see that in one of the apartments a light was on.
Walking up the plain wooden stairs, he approached that apartment, a twinge of fear holding him back. He mentally laughed it off. Why was he so afraid of visiting this place? He knocked on the door.
JC opened it a couple of seconds later, looking strangely at Joey. “Hi. What are you doing here Joey?”
“I was just walking around and thought I’d stop by.”
“It’s almost three in the morning.”
“Oh, is it? I saw the light on and I just…were you sleeping? Did you want me to go?”
JC shrugged, leaving the door to let him in. “Doesn’t matter.”
Joey entered the house, closing the door after him, and then remained standing uncomfortably. He could not sit; there were no chairs. The only furniture in the room was a cheap lamp, a stereo, a large piece of cardboard, and a box containing hundreds of notebooks. JC took a seat on the fuzzy brown carpet in front of the cardboard and picked up some glue and a picture.
“Working on your scrapbook?” Joey asked nervously. He and JC had never really been close, although he did know that JC paid him more notice than he did most people. He had tried to become closer friends with him, like he tried with everyone, and where he normally succeeded he had failed with JC. It just wasn’t possible to get him to open up.
“Yes,” JC said, not looking up.
“Why don’t you put some furniture in this place? This could be really nice if you did something with it.”
“Why? It’s just a room.”
“Yea, but you have to live here. Why not make it more comfortable for yourself?” JC did not answer and Joey sighed. “I guess it doesn’t really matter. You’re always at Justin’s anyway. Actually, why aren’t you there right now?”
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Yea, I don’t think I’ll be able to either.” He perked up and walked closer to take a seat a couple of feet away from JC. “I went on that blind date Justin set up.”
“Did you have fun?”
“It was great. This girl, JC this girl was…I don’t know, totally unreal. She was probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
“I’m sure she was.”
“Boy am I glad you decided to pass her up. You know I’ve always said you need to get out more often, but I must admit, this time I’m glad you stayed in. You’ve got to meet her JC, although I think you’ll probably hate me afterwards.”
“I doubt it.”
Joey hesitated. “Do you hate me JC?”
JC finally looked at him.
“No,” JC said firmly.
“I’m sorry for asking. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“I’m not offended.”
He didn’t hear him. “It’s just so hard to talk to you sometimes. You never seem interested in anything I’m saying and there are times where I really want to talk to you about things or ask your advice on something but…I don’t know, I feel like I’d be bothering you. I wish you could open up and talk back to me.”
“Why do you seek my approval Joey?”
“I don’t,” he said, although it sounded weak even to himself. He shifted uncomfortably once more, his eyes roaming around the room. Why was he so nervous? “I just think you should socialize more. You’re a celebrity for crying out loud.”
JC moved to face him, leaning on his knees, his face half lit by the measly lamp and half hidden in shadows. “I make music. If an average man makes a product that’s distributed to every household in America, does that mean he has to go to every house and socialize with the people who purchased his product?”
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just feel that you could at least be decent to people. What’s the harm in just talking?”
“This world is full of people who do enough talking for me.”
“Well at least you recognize that other people are in this world.” He shut his mouth quickly, astonished by how rude he had just sounded and how foreign that felt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Don’t apologize for your own opinions.”
“No, I have to. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come here and talk about such things.” He remembered Sita and the happiness he had felt earlier returned to him. “I really just wanted to tell you about Sita.”
JC returned back to his scrapbook. “Who is that?”
“The girl. Like I was saying, she was simply amazing. I couldn’t believe it when I saw her, and you know me. I’ve seen them all, but she’s…different.”
“Why do you put so much emphasis on a single person?”
“She’s a very special person JC and I just appreciate that fact, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong in appreciating other people, is there? You don’t mind other people giving you praise for the talent you posses, do you?”
“I don’t really notice it, I guess.”
“Are you saying you don’t like it when we actually get a good review from a critic?”
“I’m saying that I don’t care. If people love me for what I do or condemn me for it, it’s all the same. I see the world through my eyes and I see the changes I can make in it to better fit my vision.”
“What if these changes don’t fit the rest of the world’s vision?”
“That’s inconsequential.”
“You’re very selfish JC.”
JC looked at him, something resembling a smile on his face. “You’re right Joe.”
Joey felt a stab of jealousy and of bewilderment, although he didn’t understand either. He did not need friends but he wanted more than anything in that moment to have JC turn to him and become his closest confidant. The moment passed. “Well, I better get going.”
JC did not raise his head. “See you later Joey.”
“Bye.”
He left the apartment and began walking. A heavy wind was blowing through the streets, colder than Florida was used to, and Joey lifted the collar to his jacket and shoved his hands in his pockets, watching a light mist materialize every time he exhaled. He thought of Sita as he walked home.
~~
J.J. walked over a grassy knoll of the country club, towards the blond head of the man that held a golf club in his hands. The brown eyes of this man were concentrated on the single white object beneath him, his eyes boring into it with the force of moving the white ball on their own. The muscular body remained still so much that the onlooker was sure that it must have caused him a great deal of pain and then, in a movement so swift all J.J. saw was a blur, the club was raised and then swung, the white object propelled into the air at intense speed and landing only a couple of feet away from a thin pole that had a yellow flag floating on top of it.
J.J. clapped. “Excellent form Neal.”
Neal Klein looked up at his best friend and smiled. “Afternoon J.J. I didn’t think you’d make it down here today.”
J.J.’s eyes roamed over the golf course, a strand of brown hair blown upwards in the warm breeze that drifted around them. “I’ve got some interesting news for you that couldn’t wait.”
They started walking towards the golf ball that awaited them.
“I’m all ears,” Neal said.
“It’s about Sita Perne.”
“Ah, as I knew it would be. How are things with Sita?”
“She’s still adamant in going out with me, but I’m remaining persistent.”
“I wouldn’t have expected any less from you. What does Sita have to do with me?”
“I was informed earlier this morning that Sita has found a new friend, a mutual acquaintance of ours. Karen Cooper.”
Neal’s head shot up. “You’re joking, right?”
“I don’t joke around Neal.”
“No, of course not.” Neal took his position, gripping the golf club as sternly as if his life depended on it, his eyes darting from the hole to the ball. In a precise motion he tapped the golf ball and watched it roll steadily straight into the hole. He smiled triumphantly, although he had made that exact same stroke almost fifty times prior. “You know how long I’ve wanted Karen Cooper?”
“I know. That’s why I sought you out to tell you.”
“How will this alliance between them help us any?”
“Greatly. We can now focus both of our power in one direction and use it to our advantage to win the favor of either Sita or Karen. Once one of them is under our influence, we’ll have no problem getting the other.”
Neal looked at his friend incredulously. “This isn’t a business merger we’re talking about here J.J.”
“Everything is business Neal.”
~~
Gray clouds loomed over the busy street with the undistinguishable buildings, foreshadowing a gloom that could be felt and a threat of rain. Business moved along slower on days with gray skies and Sita was found sitting idly at her desk, observing the window that seemed sadder due to the weather it was protecting the workers from. He would not come and she refused to look out of it. The view below would be lacking an important figure and she knew the sky would only become grayer for her.
The phone on her desk rang and she picked it up. “Hello, Sita Perne speaking.”
“Hey, it’s Joey.”
She grinned. “I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon. How are you?”
“I’m really great. I was going to call and ask you if you wanted to go out and get some lunch, but I just found out that there’s a bunch of work I have to finish up at the studio. I decided to just call instead to let you know what you’re missing out on.”
“How very kind of you. You don’t sound thrilled about going to the studio.”
“It’s not like I dislike it, it’s just…we pretty much leave that stuff up to JC.”
“JC?”
“Yea, he’s in the group too. He’s more into the production and studio work, while I’m just about the fans and the stage. I love performing in front of an audience.”
“You seem like the center of attention type.” She stopped, then said, “So he’s a producer?”
“He’s trying to be. You’ll probably never meet a guy so completely in love with his work. It’s hard to get him out of the studio and have a night out with us.”
A thought started growing in her head, like the birth of a forming rain cloud. “Would you say he’s the quiet type?”
“Definitely. But it’s not like he’s shy, he just doesn’t feel like he has to say anything to anyone. He has offended a lot of people in his time.”
“How old is he?”
“Twenty-three.”
“Is he seeing anyone?”
“Not that I know of. He never talks about any of the girls he’s seeing anyway. I don’t think he really wants a relationship. Why are you asking all of these questions?”
“It’s just…” she couldn’t help the excitement entering her tone, “He sounds perfect for my sister.”
“You’re sister?”
“Yes. Her name is Kalika and she’s twenty-one, completely into producing music, and has the exact characteristics as your friend. They sound perfect for one another.”
“So you want to hook them up?” Joey inquired.
“Why not? My sister is my best friend Joey. Her happiness means everything to me and I want to see her with someone who will make her happy.”
“I don’t think JC can make anyone happy.”
“Let’s have them meet,” she pleaded, “This is exactly what Kal needs.”
Joey was hesitant. “I don’t know about this. JC isn’t the kind of guy you can set up on a date, especially a blind date.”
“I’m sure you can do it Joey. Please, this is very important.” She didn’t like manipulating people but she knew he could not resist her if she used just the right tone. “This would mean so much to me.”
That got him. “All right, I’ll see if I can persuade him. Are you sure your sister will be up to it?”
“Let me handle her,” she said confidently. “You’ll call me later and tell me if he agrees?”
“Yes. Good-bye Sita.”
“Bye.” She hung up the phone, grinning proudly to herself. Kalika had done so much for her, had sacrificed so many friends and opportunities for her. This would be her chance to give something in return, to make it all up to her.
Involuntarily her eyes drifted towards the window, but she quickly looked away from it and continued with her work.
~~
JC stood on the steel balcony of his second floor apartment and watched the sunset.
The majority of the sky was covered in a gray blanket that was growing darker and darker by the minutes. A deep orange created a single band of color, a belt that separated the sky and the earth from crashing into one another. As the thick orange sun began sinking into the earth the gray and the orange dissolved into one another, mixing into a color that did not exist as a crayon, that could never be made by a human hand. It was like a giant pool of colors were fighting against each other and he waited for the liquid to spill over onto the city, covering the buildings and trees with a torrential current of unique color.
Instead, the gray eventually turned into dark blue and JC stayed standing on the balcony, seemingly guarding over the darkened city with eyes that saw something different than what was actually there. He saw a glorious world that was taken for granted, he saw bodies on the streets that had eyes but were blinded, he saw a dream in the horizon of a desire that was to strong for the world to contain, and he saw the people that would try to stop him but would fail.
Then he saw a faded image of a bus stop and a girl with a barren vision but not a lost soul.
He heard the soundtrack to all of this playing in his mind that would not be exclusively for himself for much longer. He knew his intentions only, knew the obstacles he would have to face, understood the suffering he would have to endure, and accepted it all and in the same instant forgot about it because all he could see was that goal in the distance, swaying before him like a pendulum in the night sky.
~~
The next day the window was much more inviting, the sunlight back, beckoning her to its warmth.
She avoided it.
Twice that morning Joey had called her, eagerly awaiting the opportunity of when he would see her again. She spoke with him warmly, just as she did with everyone else, and found herself returning back to her old ways. She found the typical joy in the conversation, nothing more. She was safe again, her balance was returned and her feet were safely planted to the ground. She was no longer in danger of falling over the edge just as long as she could stay away from the window.
By lunch she felt she would go mad. Out of the corner of her eye she saw it, it’s glistening glass first compelling her and then plainly mocking her, daring her to come to it. She tried to stop thinking about it and ignore the thought of the bench below and who could be sitting there, but soon she had had enough.
With her eyes set on the shades, she marched over to it and reached for the string to pull it down and block out the sunlight. Just as she was about to pull her vision made the mistake of momentarily looking down and she stopped. He was there. Minutes later she had walked out of the building and crossed the sidewalk.
He saw her and removed the headphones and shifted over without a word.
She sat down. “Hello.”
“Hi.”
It all rushed back to her, every feeling she had tried to fight and thought she had won over, and it felt like she had barely been apart from him. She could remember nothing of what had happened in between the last time she had seen him and now. “Do you come here often?”
“Not normally. I made this new song, I just finished an hour ago actually, and whenever I need the words I come here.”
He did not come to see her. Somehow, she had expected that. “You were working all night?”
“Yes.”
“What inspired you to write this song?”
“A sunset. Have you ever seen a sunset?”
“I’m sure I have.”
“Can you remember it?”
She thought about it and then shook her head. “No.”
He stared at her for a long time. “You know what I see when I look at the sky? I see an amazing television of never ending colors and movement, I see a magnificent phenomena, a beautiful creation that does not deserve the punishment of being displayed for a world of unworthy eyes to look upon it, and I know that within myself exist that same kind of unlimited magic. What do you see?”
She swallowed nothing and felt it go down into a hallow space. He was dangerous, just looking at him was like a threat on her safety, but there was nothing worth seeing except the clear blue of his eyes. She whispered, “I don’t see anything.”
He nodded, understanding something she had not said. “Do you think that’s because you’re blinded or because you’re not really looking?”
“I don’t know.”
She felt him take her hand, slowly gliding his fingers up her wrist, then her palm, and then weaving them within her own. His skin felt like a soft caress and a jolt of electricity all at once. She wanted to touch more of it.
His face was so close to hers and she could feel herself leaning in closer to him, their foreheads almost touching, the heat from his mouth inches from hers, his eyes brushing against every line of her face. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?” he said quietly.
She was drowning in a warm sea made up of his presence. She felt that air around him touch every part of her and she shuddered with an emotion that was shaking her fingers. “What do you see?”
Cautiously, almost as if he were afraid, he raised his free hand and his fingertips traced along her neck and the delved into her hair, pushing her forehead on his. “I see the sky.”
She closed her eyes and felt something wet roll down her cheeks. “You can’t see that…not in me.”
“But I do,” he said smiling, his thumb rubbing one of the tears away. “Don’t cry. You’ll have to go back to the office and you don’t want people to see you weak like this.”
“I don’t care.”
“Yes you do.” He moved his hand from her hair and then took his head from hers and removed his hand from her grip. “Good-bye.”
She wiped the two streaks of residue the solitary tears had left behind and there remained no evidence at all that they had even existed. “I should stop coming here.”
“Why?”
“Because this is wrong.”
“Or could it be that everything else is wrong and this is right?”
He didn’t wait for her to answer. After collecting his things, he stood up and walked away, not glancing back once. She stayed sitting on the bench allowing his last words to ring over and over again in her head