For the fifth time that day, Sita passed by the window to look down at the bus stop. No one occupied it. She sighed. Had he really been sitting there? Had it only been a dream, a hallucination? Maybe it was good he was no longer there. There was a part of her she had not known she possessed that had stirred when she had caught sight of him, a part she did not know if she wanted to be disturbed. In his eyes she saw a part of the world open up to her that she had not been intended to see.
“Sita.”
She kept her eyes out of the window. “Yes Rose?”
The old woman nervously walked closer. She did not know why she feared such a wonderful, kind young woman or why she felt so intimidated by her. “You have a phone call on line 3, dear.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” she mumbled, her eyes clinging onto the bench with the faint hope that he would magically materialize at any moment. Then she moved away and went to sit at her desk, picking up the black phone and pressing on one of the lighted buttons. “Hello, Sita Perne speaking.”
“Sita!”
“Karen?”
“Hello! You aren’t busy, are you?”
She smiled and sat back. “No. Where are you?”
“Tanning on Daddy’s yacht. I’m feeling rather toasty at the moment.”
“How did you get this number?”
“Sita, you underestimate me. I’ve called to see if you can pencil me into your agenda for this evening.”
“And what do you have in mind?”
“I think you know,” Karen replied with a smile.
The elevators in the hallway outside of the office room opened and all movement paused to see J.J. Richards enter wearing a distinguished and expensive business suit and a confident grin. Then business went on as usual, although many of the female employees made it a point to catch the young man’s eye, which he paid no attention too. He went straight for the girl talking on the phone.
“I think 8 would be grand,” she was saying when she looked up. “Oh, Karen, I’ll call you back. Yes. All right. Good-bye.” She hung up the phone. “J.J. what a surprise. I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I had some business to take care of in this part of town and thought I’d stop by to say hello,” he said, his tone implying that he was doing her a favor by stopping in to see her. “You’re looking ravishing, as usual.”
“Thank you J.J,” she said, her tone implying that she had not heard nor cared about the compliment he had given her.
“I was wondering if you’d like to go for an early lunch with me?”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got piles of work to finish up here.”
One folder rested on the desk. He grinned. She was going to be his greatest challenge. “I’ll leave you to your work then. Is your father in?”
“Yes, but I think he’s contained in a meeting right now.”
“Well, maybe I’ll come by later,” he said, giving her a quick wink. “Good afternoon Sita.”
“Good-bye.” She wondered, as she watched him leave, why she felt so repulsed by him then. Normally she could care either way whenever J.J. was around her, but now the sight of him sickened her. Pondering this, her eyes randomly turned to the window, the sunlight glistening on the clean glass. She stood up and walked over to it. On the bench she saw a bowed brown head and the single movement of a hand writing on paper. Her stomach churned in excitement and she moved away to go straight for the elevators.
Once she had crossed over and was walking closer to him, he finally looked up at her and faintly smiled. “Hi.”
“Hello,” she said, standing over him. “Do you mind?”
He took off the headphones and moved over. “Not at all.”
She sat. “I’m not interrupting?”
“No. You don’t have to keep asking that.”
“Oh, all right.” She took a second to look over his face, at the structured cheekbones, his mouth, those wonderful blue eyes. “Are you all right?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “You just look dismayed.”
“How can you tell?”
The thing was, she couldn’t tell. His face looked no different than it had the other day, but there was something she could feel that was off about him. “I can’t I guess. I just thought I saw something…nevermind.”
“Actually,” he kept his eyes directly on her, “I have been having a bad day. Have you ever had anything bad happen to you?”
“Sure I have.”
“Like what?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but then stopped. Not one occurrence or memory of something bad happening to her crossed her mind and it startled her. “I…I can’t think of anything recently. But I’m sure there’s something.”
“I’m sure. How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
“Yes. Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“No reason.”
It was that feeling again, that emptiness, the overpowering sensation that she was missing an extremely important part in her life, the effect of truly seeing things for the first time, of being waken up. She had to switch the tone of the conversation because it was pounding in her ears. She laughed. “Don’t you think it’s strange?”
“What?”
“How we talk to each other. We don’t know anything about one another except that you write songs in front of busy intersections and I work on the top floor of that building. We don’t even know each other’s name. Don’t you want to know my name?”
“I don’t need to know it and you don’t need to know mine.”
“What makes you think that?”
“Because if you did you would have asked me for it already. Would you like to know my name?”
Slowly she shook her head. “I don’t need to know it.” Their eyes locked for a minute and a loud silence came between them. It was strange the way he looked at her because, unlike everyone else, he did not hide the fact that he was staring straight at her. It was almost like he wanted her to know that he was looking at her. She blinked, shattering the intimacy of the moment, and motioned to the headphones. “What were you listening to?”
“A song I made.”
“Can I hear it?”
She did not know that JC never let anyone hear an incomplete piece he made. He handed her the headphones. She did not know that JC never let anyone read his notebooks, ever. He handed her the notebook. “The music will make more sense with this.” He flipped it to a certain page.
When she pressed play a series of sounds filled her ears. If she had been a music critic she would have categorized the song as edgy techno with a melodic beat. To her, it was just beautiful. It was not just a song she heard, it was something else, a piece of a soul captured, an explanation of a thought put into sound.
When she glanced down at the notebook in her hand she saw a page scribbled with words and phrases or descriptions of scenery and scenarios. The page before her reflected his mind and also further explained the meaning of the song, the reason behind the thought. It was like she was listening to him, understanding more of the kind of person he was. He was allowing her to listen to a portion of the essence and ideas that made up who he was, that made him special.
She had heard plenty of music before, but never really listened to it. Now she was listening.
The song ended but she kept the headphones on for a little while longer to let the silence bring her back to reality. Then she handed the notebook and headphones back to him, which he put to the side, still watching her. She seemed confused but then caught his eye and said, “That was really beautiful.”
“Thanks. What are you thinking about?”
An unexplainable fear had crept into her chest and she did not want to answer his question, but at the same time knew she couldn’t lie to him. There was only one way to escape. “I better get back to the office,” she said standing. “Good-bye.”
She did not look back and he did not try to stop her.
~~
When Karen’s red corvette pulled up to the entrance of the Perne Mansion, Sita was already waiting outside. They drove without a mention or even a memory of Kalika. It was as if they had been friends their entire lives and this was just another typical night out.
“So where are we going anyway?” she asked as she watched a blur of light and darkness speed by. Karen was a fast driver.
“Club Mango. Although, there’s this new club called Shock Syndrome. It’s supposed to be insane. We have to check it out sometime.”
Sita smiled. “I’ve been there.”
In ever respect Sita was a well-mannered, proper young woman. She attended the events and social gathering expected of her, she mingled with the upper class and had unlimited friends with the same kind of background and social status as her own, and she portrayed the perfect portrait of an elite daughter. She also had a reputation in the underground and not so underground club scene.
It was not something she hid from her parents or something she was forbidden from. Her nightlife was simply never discussed at all, chosen to be ignored to make it easier on everyone who had become attached and almost dependant on the pedestal they had placed this girl on to accept the fact that she mingled with common teenagers and enjoyed it. Karen Cooper did not ignore it, however, because she was just as involved with the Florida club scene as Sita was.
Sita did not view it as an escape from her life. Walking into a club had the same effect on her as walking into a business meeting. She stunned, then charmed, and then amazed everyone around her and left entirely indifferent and unaffected. She had performed her duty and was proud of the usual grade A job she had done. The only reason she preferred the nightlife over the business meeting was the atmosphere, the events, and the noise level.
“Sita,” Karen said, “There’s something about tonight I’ve neglected to mention.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. You see, the other night I went out.”
“And you didn’t invite me along? I’m appalled Karen. I thought we had a better understanding than that.”
“I did call you up but your mother informed me you were not feeling well and had decided to sleep early,” Karen corrected. “Anyway, I met this man, or should I say boy, and I’m going to meet him at the club tonight.”
“Who is he?”
“Justin Timberlake.”
“Who is that?”
“Be glad you don’t know,” she replied bitterly. “Honestly, I’ve never met someone so repulsive in my entire life. He’s got to have the biggest ego ever to inhabit a man. Granted, his profession provides him an excuse, but the type of arrogance that makes up his very soul is entirely inexcusable. Plus he has horrific hair.”
Sita laughed. “Then why in the world have you chosen to see him tonight?”
“Why, he’s got to be the most attractive man I’ve ever come across, of course! He’s got the most unbelievably wonderful smile that I want to either kiss or just slap off of his face. He’s very slick. I never thought I would meet him, I never imagined the world could conjure up someone so unnaturally magnetic and yet irritating.”
“I’m entirely confused and must admit a little frightened. Karen, you sound as if you love him but your choice of words leads me to believe you want to murder him. Which is it?”
“Both.”
“Why do you despise him so?”
“Because he’s just like me.”
“What?”
The stoplight ahead turned red and she pressed her red high heel on the break then turned to look at Sita. “It’s like a mirror. In him I see everything wonderful about myself and also all of the flaws within myself.”
“And since you are so self-oriented you like him for all of the wonderful things about yourself you are reminded of when you look at him and you hate him for all of the flaws of yourself he makes you recognize?”
“Exactly.” The light turned green and Karen switched the red heel onto the accelerator. “It’s a mutual understanding we have.”
“How romantic.”
“Like I was saying, I’m going to meet him tonight, but since I knew you were coming I told him to bring a friend. Hopefully it’s not one of his silly little groupmates, but when I mentioned it to him he said he had someone in mind. I did not want you to feel as if you were a third wheel, after all. Sita, are you all right?”
Her face had become serious and even a little grim. “You’ve set me up for a blind date?”
“Yes.”
“You shouldn’t have done that Karen.”
“Why? It’s not because you’re seeing someone else are you? It’s not J.J. is it? I’ve heard he’s after you Sita and, if I may give my input, I would not go within 10 feet of that snobbish bastard. I went out with him for a solid month and let me tell you, I was ready to surgically attach a mirror to that boy’s forehead. He is the very reason why the word self-absorbed was created.”
“No, I don’t have any interest in J.J.” she said quietly, her voice distracted by some other thought. “There’s someone else, but it’s not serious. It’s nothing at all actually.”
“Who?”
“I don’t know.” She blinked and then laughed lightly. “I never asked for his name.”
“You’re partly involved with a man whom you don’t know his name? How odd.”
“Yes, it is rather odd.” She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I don’t even know why I thought of him.” Her voice returned back to normal. “Although I’m still upset with you for taking me to a blind date I was not aware of, I suppose I’ll have to forgive you eventually. Did you say groupmate? What kind of group.”
“A singing group. They’re quite famous, you know.”
“Are they? I guess I’ll pretend to be honored to meet them then.”
~~
JC sat with the phone to his ear, trying to communicate to an annoyed secretary on the other line. “I just want to set up a meeting.”
“How long do you want?”
“Just a couple of minutes. I’m sure it won’t take long. Tell him it’s JC Chasez and I want to discuss the producers assigned to work on the next album.”
“Honey,” the secretary said, “That’s not a very original message to tell the boss. When did you want the meeting for.”
“As soon as possible.”
The door to the room opened and Justin came in. “JC!”
He held up his hand to signify silence and then turned back to the phone. “Anytime would be great.”
“Looks like you lucked out. He’s got a free slot next Tuesday at 4. Is that it?”
“Yes.” Before he could say another word he heard a click and then a dial tone. He turned off the phone as well and then looked at Justin. “What is it?”
“Remember that girl?”
“The one that you hate?”
“Yup,” he said, grinning wickedly. “I’m meeting her tonight and you’re coming with me.”
“No, I’m not,” JC replied tonelessly. “I have no interest in tagging along to one of your girl adventures.”
“You won’t be tagging along. She’s bringing one of her friends.”
“No thank you.”
“Why not?” Justin asked.
“I’m not interested.”
“Is this about Holly?”
JC had to think for a moment to remember why that name sounded so familiar. When he managed to picture a face he said, “No. Why don’t you ask…Joey? He’d go.”
“That would seem like the more logical choice wouldn’t it?” He shrugged. “I don’t know, something made me feel compelled to see if you’d like to start showing some interest in the human race for once.”
“Whatever made you think I’d want to do that?”
Justin rolled his eyes. “Why do you insist on avoiding people? A guy with the resources you have should be going out and mingling with as many people as possible.”
“Why is that a requirement? In what document is it printed that I must solicit myself around to the masses just for the sake of popularity? I don’t need others approval, I don’t seek attention and praise for my existence. I know I’m alive. I don’t need other people to reassure me of this.”
“What is a life without companionship?”
“What is a life without self?”
Justin paused and then his eyes squinted. “So what you’re saying is, take Joey?”
A grin pulled on the corner of JC’s mouth. “Yes. Take Joey.”
“All right, if that’s your choice. Hopefully this girl isn’t your destiny.”
He said nothing, but a strange light had entered his eyes for a second that went unnoticed by Justin. Then JC faced the desk again. “Have fun Justin.”
“Later on,” Justin said and then left the room.
~~
“I don’t know about this Justin.”
Joey Fatone walked alongside his friend, towards the entrance of Club Mango. He had been to the club often, he had been to most of the clubs around the world often, and had mingled and adapted so well to the club atmosphere during the past couple of years that it would have been thought he were some kind of chameleon.
He was also a self-admitted ladies man. While his mother remained concerned and scolding, Joey did not see the harm in seeing several women and committing to none. He appreciated, not lusted after, the different types of people he met, and since most of the people that sought out his attention were female, then all the more better. As surprising as it was, Joey had ideals, and he did not see why commitment was such a virtue while dating around was such a sin. He understood the life he led, he saw what commitment did to Lance, and he knew how virtually impossible it would be for him to obtain the willpower to focus on just one girl. He didn’t think he’d ever meet a girl that would absorb into his mind that much.
“I hate blind dates,” he said. “It’s ridiculous to be shackled to a girl for a whole evening whom you’ve never met.”
“You mean seen, don’t you Joe?”
“Precisely. She better not be, you know, unpleasant to the eye.”
Justin shook his head. “It’s good to know you’ve got your priorities straight. Trust me, I know Karen. She would not associate with unpleasant people.”
“How long have you known this girl?”
“Almost a day I think.”
“The way you talk about her I would have thought you’ve known and despised her your entire life.”
Justin nodded to the bouncer who let them in immediately. “In a sense, I guess you could say I have.”
Club Mango was one giant room, it’s distinguishing features being the fluorescent blue line that ran along it’s walls, the bar, and the large disco ball that hung in the middle of the dance flour. It was dark with a horrible ventilation system that acted as a positive and a negative. Negative for breathing purposes, positive for the skin glistening effect of the sweat that drenched most bodies. The bar was interesting. It was mounted higher, you had to walk three steps to get up to any section of it, and the counter was made out of glass that glowed fluorescent blue.
Justin’s eyes immediately landed on the bar and he pointed. “There’s Karen.”
Joey whistled upon seeing the exquisite blond who was decked out entirely in red, from her red choker to her red polished toenails. “I’d like to congratulate you Justin in being the luckiest guy on Earth.”
He looked at his friend, but then noticed that Justin was not paying attention, his eyes still lingering on the bar. “Joe, uh, I think that girl standing next to her is your date.”
Confused, he looked again, and then his confusion all but evaporated, as well as his breathing and his awareness of any other girl he had thought to be beautiful up until that point. His initial thought was that she could not be real, but after blinking multiple times, she refused to disappear to set his heart at ease. He had never known beauty like that. Her eyes were an alluring green that glowed with the closest thing to resembling magic he had ever seen and her lips a soft pink that was shaped with an inviting grin and an irrepressible confidence. Her long, black hair fell in soft waves down her back. She wore simple black slacks and a green shirt that were not chosen for the purpose of enhancing her appearance for the mere fact that nothing could do that.
Joey, along with most of the other men in the club, was entranced by her physical appearance, but what made him completely enthralled was in the way she stood. Her back was straight, her position revealing that she was not aware that other people were looking at her, that her confidence came from somewhere within herself not from the compliments of others. She was a mixture of strength and softness, of things that Joey always dreamt of but never thought could possibly exist.
“Wow.” Justin grinned and patted his friend on the back. “My congratulations goes out to you Joey. Come on, quit staring at her like that and let’s go.”
He didn’t understand how Justin could be so immune to the girl, but then noticed that Justin’s eyesight was set on the blond, a smile on his face and a glare on his eyes. They approached the girls and Justin took hold of Karen’s hand to kiss her index finger and then bit it carefully.
“Did you miss me?” he said after she had snapped her hand back.
“Never.”
“Thanks for introducing us Justin.” Joey turned to the other girl and shook her hand. “Hi, I’m Joey.”
“Sita,” she said, smiling.
Joey recognized the name. “Sita Perne?”
“Yes.” A light dawned on her face and she said, “Joey Fatone?”
Joey had heard her name all over Florida clubs. “At last we meet.”
“I’ve heard quite a lot about you Joey. I knew we’d run into each other eventually.”
“I never thought it would be on a blind date set up by the masochistic couple over there.”
He motioned towards Karen and Justin who were completely absorbed in one another, which was extremely appropriate. Sita laughed. “You’re much different than I expected.”
“I don’t think there’s an expectation I could have set that you wouldn’t surpass.”
She laughed again. He hadn’t been joking. “Maybe I was wrong.”
Grinning, he extended his hand. “Would you do me the honor?”
She put her delicate hand in his and they walked to the dance floor.
~~
Upon leaving Justin and Karen at the club, Joey drove her home and then walked her up the staircase that led to a set of marble pillars, which guarded the tall granite doors that provided the entrance to her home.
She liked Joey. Her fondness for him was genuine, partly due to his friendly personality, partly due to his mastery at charming a girl. Unlike the mysterious boy at the bus stop, he made her feel comfortable again, he did not set her mind churning with questions concerning the meaning of her life, but instead reaffirmed the satisfaction she had felt before the bus stop.
Yet, she had tried desperately all night to forget about the other, and had failed.
When they reached the doors she turned to face him and he took hold of her hand. “I had a really nice time,” he said. “Probably the nicest time I’ve had with a girl.”
She just smiled, a smile that effected him more than thousands of flattering remarks he had heard in his past. “Sita,” he whispered, “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“Is that a good thing?”
“Yes. A very good thing.”
Maybe it was that part of her that had been abruptly shaken, maybe it was because she was seeing each moment in her life more clearly and therefore more seriously, but she knew then that she did not want to hurt Joey. His brown eyes resembled so many others that had looked at her the same way in the past, but this time it became clear that it wasn’t all a game, that feelings ran deeper than just the skin and those scars did not heal. “Joey…”
His hand was raised to her cheek and he touched it softly, bending his head to kiss her other cheek with equal softness. “Sita, can I call you tomorrow?”
“Ok.”
He smiled and then released her hand, taking a step back. “Good night Sita.”
“Good night,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. She walked into the house without seeing him off and closed the door behind her, leaning against it and then sinking to the floor, clutching her knees to her chest. Something was wrong but she did not know or didn’t want to know what it was. She couldn’t shake the feeling that the darkness was staring at her.