“I can’t believe her!” Justin yelled as he paced across the cramped studio, entirely unfocused on his purpose in even being there. “I just can’t believe her! Can you believe her?”
Chris looked up from the magazine he was reading long enough to nod. “Yea.”
“How could she just blow me off like that?”
“Didn’t you break up with her like, 50 million times?” Lance asked.
“What exactly is your point?” Justin snapped.
“I’m just saying, maybe she’s tired of the games.”
Justin shook his head. “You don’t know her. She isn’t tired of the games. Karen could never be tired of the games. She created the games!”
“Then how do you know she isn’t playing one now?”
Justin stopped. “My god, Lance! You freaking genius! That’s it! This is all just some game she’s playing. She’s trying to get me all worked up and beg her to take me back.”
“Seems like she’s reached half of her goal,” Chris mumbled.
“If you’re not going to actually do any work, do you mind keeping it down?” Dustin said and then faced forward to look over JC’s shoulder and at the outboard. “So how about we increase the beats and take up the background vocals a notch? JC? Hey!” He hit the other man’s shoulder. “Did you want to finish the album before the release date or what?”
JC shook his head and rubbed his eyes. “Sorry…I…I’m just tired.”
“Rough night?”
“More like morning,” he muttered. “So, what were you saying?”
“And then she just walked away,” Justin continued, his arms dramatically flying about him, his pace resumed. “Just like that. I swear, if she wasn’t so damn attractive, I wouldn’t even think about going to that party this weekend.”
“What party?” Joey, who sat on the couch next to Chris, asked.
Justin suddenly snapped back into reality, realizing that he had spoken too much. “Oh…uh, it’s nothing.”
“What party?” Joey repeated. “Is Karen throwing a party or something?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then what is it?”
“Nothing Joe. Forget I said anything.”
“Seeing how you were speaking several decimals above the norm, that last part is sort of ringing over and over again in my head. What party?”
“It’s just…an engagement party this rich lady is throwing…for her son.”
“Whose engagement party?”
Justin hesitated but, seeing no way around it, quietly replied, “J.J. Richards and…Sita Perne.”
All eyes, even Dustin and Meadows, shifted towards the young man on the couch. Nobody bothered to notice how stiff JC’s back had suddenly gotten, how his hands were now perfectly still on the outboard.
Joey’s face was pale. “She’s engaged?”
“Sorry Joe, I thought you knew.”
The eyes watching him couldn’t tell just how Joey was taking the news. He had showed signs of being over her, he had gone out, he was dating again, he was functioning just how he used to. But now they weren’t so sure he was anywhere near functioning at all.
“Joey?” Lance said, giving concerned glances to the rest. “Are you-“
“I’m fine,” he abruptly said. “Justin, you’re going to that party, right?”
“Uh, well, yea.”
“I’m coming with you.”
“Whoa,” Justin exclaimed. “That’s a horribly bad idea. You don’t want to do that to yourself Joe. You’ve gone through enough self-torture as is, why give yourself the death sentence?”
Joey ignored him and stood up to walk across the room, towards the man who remained with his back to them. “JC, you’ve got to come too.”
“Why?” he quietly asked, not looking up.
“Because you’ve been there for me and you understand the whole situation and…it would just mean a lot to me if you came with us.”
JC was silent. Then he looked up and nodded. “All right, I’ll go to the party.”
~~
Kalika Perne had been avoiding both her home and the studio ever since Sita had returned.
She was stuck and she knew it. It was as if she had been walking through a sidewalk of wet cement and the inevitable had happened. The ground had hardened and now she was frozen in place. The past two years had been a blur of forced numbness and dark, lonely moments. The one person she had been able to confide in was gone by her own decree, and the only man she had ever loved was getting worse as the days went by. Nobody understood JC’s shift in attitude except her. She knew why he stayed locked in rooms, never going out to see people. She knew what he was waiting for and she knew the person he had been waiting for had come back, but as somebody else’s.
The thought of her sister marrying J.J. Richards made her sick. The thought of Sita, everyone’s favorite, being with JC made her want to cry. The thought of how things were now gave her an unbearable headache. She didn’t know what to do.
All she did know was that her home was filling with a horrible tension that soon would be unavoidable and that her sister, her best friend, was now a stranger.
~~
It felt good to exhale.
Sita had been having troubling breathing all afternoon. There was a ball of apprehension in her stomach that she couldn’t quite swallow down and she wondered if it had turned into a physical thing that was poking out of her. It certainly felt like a physical thing, but when she put on her green, slim evening gown, nothing potruded out of her. Well, nothing out of the ordinary.
“This feels wrong,” she said, looking into the body length mirror that didn’t belong to her. Nothing in the room belonged to her except the dress, the shoes, and her best friend.
Karen didn’t seem to share in Sita’s distress. She was wearing her favorite color red, splashed over her in a revealing yet oddly classical dress that was sure to shock. It wasn’t even her engagement party. “What feels wrong? That dress looks fabulous.”
“No, not the dress. This whole party. It’s not right.”
“No kidding. Think about why it’s being thrown. In honor of your engagement to J.J. Richards. Think about how many words in that sentence just don’t fit together. Try all of them Sita.”
Sita shot her a look. “You said you’d be more supportive of my decision.”
“Bra’s are supportive darling. I’m your friend. Friend’s don’t let friend’s drive drunk. Friend’s also don’t let friend’s marry unscrupulous, concieted bastards. Do you see the similarities in the two?”
“No.”
“Well, there is a difference. At least the alcohol numbs you up.”
“Alcohol isn’t the only thing that can do that,” she mumbled under her breath.
Somebody knocked on the door, and then it swung open to allow J.J. Richards enter. His smile was perfect, as was his tuxedo, and he took his steps with a carefree, youthful kind of exuberance. He looked like he had just landed the greatest business deal in his lifetime. In a sense, he had.
“Good evening ladies,” he said bowing cordially. “You both look ravishing. Especially you, my love.”
He had come up with the nickname the day she had gone over to his house to accept his proposal. “I asked you not to call me that,” she said quietly, the memory of those words springing up in her mind. She didn’t like hearing him say them. It made her feeling of uneasiness increase. “What are you doing here J.J.?”
“I can’t stand being away from you for too long darling,” he said, ignoring Karen’s grimace of disgust and stepping closer to Sita. He took her in his arms and kissed her lightly. “You’re so beautiful.”
“We must finish getting ready for the party. I don’t want to keep your guests waiting, especially after your mother went through…” she took a deep breath, “went through all that trouble in throwing it for us.”
“Mother loved doing it! She adores you Sita, just like I do.” He kissed her cheek.
“J.J., please.”
“All right,” he sighed, releasing her. “Oh, by the way Karen. Neal Klien is going to be here. He’s looking forward to seeing you again.”
“Excuse me while I jump for joy,” she replied unethusiastically.
“You should give him a break. He was beaten up pretty badly a couple of months ago and hasn’t been the same since.”
“What, is he acting human now?”
J.J. forced a smile. “Let’s not get started on humanly traits now Karen, or must I bring up the countless monsters you’ve gone out with?”
“J.J.” Sita warned.
He turned to leave the room, but just as the door was closing behind him, Karen called out, “I went out with you, didn’t I?” When the door shut, she stomped a red heel on the ground and let out a frustrated groan. “God, I hate him! I won’t let you marry him, I won’t. There’s no way I’ll be able to tolerate luncheons or dinner parties you throw in his household.”
“It’s good to know that you aren’t to superficial.”
“I’m serious Sita, he’s completely wrong for you. This is an act of blasphemy if you ask me.”
Sita rubbed her head and exhaled slowly. “Let’s just go to the party and get it over with.”
“You’re actually willing to parade around there and act like nothings wrong, act like you want this? How do you have that kind of strength?”
“I’m not sure I do,” she answered honestly, her shoulders sagging. “Come on, they’re waiting.”
Karen nodded and went ahead to go to the downstairs ballroom where the party was being thrown. “Let the festivities begin.”
~~
JC had always been aware of every bone in his body, of every muscle he had possesed, but throughout the past week, since the morning when he had found out the truth, he wasn’t sure if he had taken a single breath the entire time.
His album was nearing completion. The project he had fought for so hard, that he had spent weeks on, that he had practically split himself open for was ready for the world to have and he should have felt nothing but complete satisfaction and joy. He felt neither. He loved his work, the feelings he should have had were looming over him, waiting to be felt, yet he could feel nothing.
It was safer before, when people had been things he had to just deal with because of the simple fact that there was too many of them to ignore. They were everywhere, threatening his existence in every way, but he had always managed to keep, besides the few he had personally selected, them out, away from him. He hadn’t been prepared for someone to force their way into his life. He hadn’t expected how much he had wanted her to do it.
His safety bubble had not only popped, but it had impoloded in a shocking wave of pleasure that had agonized him for two years, that he had still kept close to him no matter how much it hurt. There had only been one thing in his life that he had ever wanted to do; make music. There was only one thing in the world that he would have given his life up for; the woman that he loved. Yet now both his music and his love were out of his hands. The record was soon to be released, it would make or break him in the industry, and he would have to wait to see how well it was received, if he would be allowed to continue on with his life’s passion. The woman that he loved was soon to be married and he was going to her engagement party with one of his best friend’s who loved her as well.
It was a sick, twisted world.
Ever since he had received the first late night call from her, he had been staying in his apartment frequently. He was there, fixing his shirt collar, when someone knocked on his front door. Expected it to be Joey picking him up, he was shocked to find the short girl instead. “Hi.”
“Hello,” Meadow smiled, “May I come in?”
He moved aside and she stepped through the doorway, gazing around with uninterested eyes. “Nice place. You don’t use a lot of furniture, I see.”
He closed the door. “What are you doing here?”
She walked closer to him, her movements manipulative, the gleam in her eyes suggesting some mystery that she was not willing to reveal to him yet. “You’ve been acting strange lately.”
“Have I?"
“Yes.” She stepped close and reached out to touch his arm. “JC, who’s the woman?”
“Excuse me?”
“The woman who is doing this to you. What? It’s obvious that there’s a woman invovled, there always is in these types of things.”
“What types of things?” he asked slowly. Although her hand on his arm had grown more relaxed, he acted as though he didn’t feel it and kept looking at her face.
“You know. The brilliant celebrity who’s experiencing withdrawals from the world and tired, sleepless nights. Who is she? Not Kalika, even though it’s obvious you have that affect on her. There’s someone else.”
“Since I’ve never belonged to the world, how can I be experiencing withdrawals from it?”
Her hand was moving up while her other hand moved to his shoulder. “Didn’t you hear the part where I called you brilliant?” she quietly said, her eyes staring up at him.
“Yes.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What do you think about that?”
“I don’t, think about it that is.” Her arms were basically encircling his neck now, her body leaning against his. “Meadow, what are you doing?”
“I can make you forget about her, you know.”
“I doubt it.”
“So you admit it! There is a her to forget about?”
“Yes,” he tiredly replied. “Don’t you think it’s time you started admitting things?”
“Like what? I won’t tell Dustin if you don’t tell.” She was trying to push his head down, her toes standing on their tips to get her mouth closer to his.
“You see, Dustin already did tell.”
Her body went still. She stepped back. “What?”
JC was grinning. “He told me about you two already.”
Her typical smile was gone, astonishment taking its place. “That’s impossible! He couldn’t have.”
“He did.”
“He told you that we’re…”
“That you’re married, yes. He also told me to watch out because he knew that you’d probably get jealous that Dustin and I were friends and try to seduce me in order to guilt me into dissolving our friendship. I can’t believe he was right.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, her grin back, but there was nothing secretive about it. Just pure amusement. “I can’t believe he told you. He’s only partly right, you know. I was the one who convinced him to even meet with you.”
“You wanted to see if he’d get jealous if you paid attention to me?”
“I like to play with him,” she said. “It was working fine before you turned out to be his producing soulmate.”
JC leaned against the door and muttered, “Sorry to have spoiled your plan.”
Her eyes looked him over carefully and she nodded to herself. “I was right about the other woman though, wasn’t I?”
“Yes.”
“Who is she?”
“A girl I met a long time ago.”
“You know, most men would have caved in to my, how should I put this? Hints that I was leaving you. This girl, you must care about her a lot. What happened?”
His eyes were looking to the side. The subject clearly disturbed him, but he answered her anyway. “She married someone else.”
“And there hasn’t been anyone else since her?”
A car horn sounded outside and JC moved to open the door. “There will never be anyone else but her. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a party to attend.”
~~
Mrs. Richards prided herself in the parties that she orchestrated in her well-known ballroom, and tonight, she thought, looking at the prestigiuos list of guests that were mingling all around her, was the twilight of every party she had ever thrown.
Sita found it strange how easily she could go back into the mode she had made her lifestyle just a couple of years ago. Throughout the evening she remained by J.J.’s side, bowing and greeting the guests with a plastered on smile that almost hurt her. She ignored the pain as easily as she ignored the boring conversations that she had to bare witness too as J.J. made his rounds around the room for the third time.
More guests than she could count were piling into the room, but they all were faceless blurs to her. The only conscious effort she was making was remembering to follow J.J. wherever he went and to smile accordingly.
She didn’t notice that three people in the room hadn’t stopped watching her.
~~
Keeping herself separate from all of the guests in the large ballroom, Kalika leaned against a wall with a full champagne glass in her hand. Her eyes followed the main course of the banquet-like party, Sita. She tried as much as possible not to see her sister’s arm linked with the arrogant boy that Sita followed like the obedient slave she was turning into. She tried not to think about having to witness the destruction of her sister after the marriage.
“Having fun?”
Her eyes transferred to the blond approaching her. “It’s good to see you again Karen. Did you have a nice time in New Orleans?”
“Wonderful,” Karen replied, leaning next to the girl that had once been her close friend. “Stop trying to hide it Kal. You’re doing a terrible job.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’re just as miserable as she is. You have the power to make this all stop, you know? You don’t have to make her or yourself suffer any longer.”
“Karen, I honestly have no idea-“
“Yes you do,” Karen said fiercely. “You know exactly what kind of travisty you’re inflicting upon her right now.” Her tone became more sympathetic and she touched Kalika’s arm gently. “I know it will be hard for you, and I know that you don’t think it’s fair. But you have to let him go. Don’t you see? Sita’s put her life on hold for two years for you. She’s marrying the single most despisable human being on the planet for you. You have to do this for her Kal. You have to give him up. This may sound cruel, but he will never be yours completely.”
“You don’t know that,” Kalika whispered.
Karen nodded. “Yes, I do. And besides, even if he didn’t love her, she loves him. Isn’t that reason enough?”
Kalika held Karen’s gaze, her eyes showing a weakness her mind would never permit her. She heard every word Karen had said, she understood it completely, and somewhere deep within her, she knew those words were the truth. She knew it. But still, she fought it.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure enter through the grand doorways and immediately, she straightened up. The man’s blue eyes cut through the crowd like a knife, and she waited for him to see her, for his eyes to reach her. They never did.
Almost instantly, he caught sight of the girl in the green dress, freezing where he stood to stare at her. Kalika knew that he would not be looking at anything else for the rest of the evening. She saw the change in his face. Never before had she been able to read any kind of expression of his, but tonight, in that moment, she could see him clearly. She saw the reaction his entire body had with the sight of her sister; his face was so obviously naked with emotion that she could almost feel the wonderful pain when he looked at Sita, the intense happiness and at the same time the unbearable agony.
Then, he forced himself to look away, and she saw the effort it took him to do that. In a movement she hadn’t expected, he glanced at her, caught her eye, and he made himself grin slightly, nodding his head to her in an uneeded introduction, and then involuntarily looking again at the girl in the green dress.
Kalika couldn’t breath.
“He really loves her,” Karen said, having seen the same things she had.
Shaking, Kalika turned her back on the girl and walked away.