Lance sat in the secluded area of one of the most expensive restaurants in southern California, eyeing the McDonalds that was across the street. He had always hated gourmet food and, after being introduced to the young man and woman who sat next to him, knew they did too.
The man was Dustin Wisner, an average height, dark sandy colored hair man. He was on the thin side, his cheeks slightly sunken in and his brown eyes bulging out. He seemed friendly enough, but it was clear that he was here for business, not the food. Rumors were circulating around town that he had a minor drinking problem, but as the business goes, it was willing to be overlooked as long as he kept pumping out the hits.
Meadow Quade was the other. From first glance she was not what one would consider beautiful, or even cute. Her eyes were slanted and small, while her lips were full and nose pointed. Each feature seemed to be misplaced on her short, tiny body, but after looking at her, really looking at her, they fit together. She was actually extremely pretty.
None of them knew what kind of relationship Meadow and Dustin shared, but they had been informed that Meadow never left Dustin’s side, he always had her with him. Each had grown up in the middle class, they clearly still had little money compared to what they would be getting. They wore only jeans and simple t-shirts. But one month ago they had produced a song called “Just Getting By” for a brand new girl group, “Lightning” for their upcoming album “Lightning Strikes”. The single had been released and now the song and album were number one on the charts. Dustin and Meadow were officially being sought after every major group out there. Lance assumed offers must have been pouring into their homes, calls and lunches being set up all the time.
They had held out for ‘N Sync.
After extremely small small talk, JC leaned on the table with his forearms and said, “So, what do you think about coming down to Florida and producing for us?”
Dustin grinned, liking JC’s blunt approach. “I’ve considered the offer, and I’ll admit that it’s the best one we’ve gotten, but I have a problem.”
“What would that be?” JC asked.
“The problem is you Mr. Chasez.”
“Why is he the problem?” Joey said.
“Meadow and I usually and would prefer to work alone. You want to co-produce with us. That’s a problem.”
JC sat back in his chair and Lance could tell that he had expected Dustin to say that. “It won’t be as bad as you think Mr. Wisner.”
“Dustin, please.”
“All right Dustin. Although I’ve produced a lot more records than you have, I’m still a student, willing to learn. I believe we could both have something to learn and something to teach one another. If there’s anything that you would like changed that I’ve done to a song, then I will be completely obliged to sit down and figure out a way to make it better. I don’t care about how it gets done; the final product is all that matters. Right?”
Dustin was quiet. Meadow, who had said nothing after the introductions and had remained staring distastefully at her food, sat up and smiled. “Ok.”
“What?” Dustin and JC said at the same time.
“Let’s do it.” She looked at Dustin. “It sounds reasonable and it’s a good offer and project. Besides,” she turned her blue eyes to JC, “I want to work with him. With all of them. I think we could really do something with your group Mr. Chasez.”
“JC,” he said.
She smiled again. “JC.”
“Sounds like someone wants a piece of our Mr. Chasez,” Justin whispered to Lance.
Dustin seemed disturbed by Meadow’s sudden agreement. “How about we meet again tomorrow, at one of the downtown studios. We’ll try and work together on something and see how it comes out. Does that sound agreeable with you guys?”
None of the others needed to answer. JC nodded and said, “Just tell us the time and the place.”
~~
Although Lance had pleaded with her to take the bus, Hazel had decided to walk instead. It was a perfect day; the clouds were thick and reminded her of giant cotton balls hanging in the sky and the sky itself was the most amazing light blue she had ever seen. She wore a simple black tank top and khaki shorts and the rays of sun hit her skin, warming it.
After a couple of blocks she realized her path was going to lead her right past the day care center.
There were no kids playing outside and a large window in the dark blue building revealed that they were all inside, listening to Sally Espanoza read them a story. She stopped for a second to watch, seeing the children’s grin and smiling herself. Then she continued on her way to the college.
It was a small campus and when she arrived people were buzzing around everywhere. Evidently classes were just about to start. She went to the same front desk as she had before and picked up her official schedule, along with a map of the school so she could find her way around. Her first class was her unwanted English course and her mild excitement for the day sunk even lower. English had always been her worst subject, and although this was a rudimentary course, so were all the others she had failed before.
When she entered the room, most were already seated and her eyes scanned for a nice, secluded chair in the back of the room. Luckily there was one waiting for her and she hurried to it, passing by a couple of people that seemed to recognize her from the clubs. She ignored them and went straight for her seat. Just as she sat down the professor stood up from his own desk to address his pupil and so began Hazel’s first day back to school.
~~
“Bye Hazel!”
Hazel waved once and then turned back around as the group of people who had given her a ride back to the white building made a u-turn and sped away. Her first day had been good, although she struggled slightly in English, her child development classes had captivated her attention the entire time and she found herself actually understanding a subject. The feeling was completely foreign.
She had also made quite a few friends, but that didn’t surprise her. For some reason she had always been able to attract people into talking to her, even though she was the most distant, quiet person she knew. But maybe that was why they liked her. They did all the talking.
Exhaling, she entered the apartment and placed her bag and newly acquired books by the door then went to the kitchen. The place had become home to her; she felt more familiar in it than she had in any other place in years. Today, however, there was an element missing and she knew that Lance’s absence was something she could sense at all times, even when she wasn’t in the building. She had no idea why that was and it worried her. She wouldn’t be around Lance forever, she would have to get used to him not being around later on. She might as well get used to it now.
But something inside of her couldn’t adjust and so she tried to block it out as much as she could.
It was while she was searching the refrigerator for something to eat that the phone rang. She walked over and picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hi. Remember me?”
She grinned slightly. “Sort of. You used to live here right?”
He laughed. “I used to. How were classes?”
“Ok, I guess.”
“Learn anything interesting today?”
“Uh, I learned how to give CPR to a 5 year old.”
“That could be useful. So it was good? You going to go back tomorrow?”
“Sure,” she said simply. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know.” He was quiet and then said, “So what are you doing tonight?”
“Going out. What are you doing?”
“Same.”
That’s when it happened. She didn’t understand it, but the thought of him going out on his own, without her, annoyed her. She knew how girls at clubs were, she was friends’ with those kinds of girls, and she didn’t like the idea of Lance around them without her to accompany him. They weren’t right for him.
So what? I’m not his caretaker, he can do what he wants. What do I care anyway?
She did care though, but could it possibly be she cared enough that she was actually jealous? How could that be? She didn’t even know what it felt like to be jealous; it had never happened to her before. He was her friend that she could talk to and just because he was the only person she was able to talk to it didn’t mean she was the only girl that came to him for advice. That excuse should have been enough for her, it should have put her mind at ease. It didn’t.
“Hazel? Hello? You still there?”
“Yea,” she distantly replied. “I better go and get ready.”
“Oh.” He sounded disappointed, but she couldn’t tell. “Well I’ll talk to you later.”
“Yea, ok. Bye.”
“Bye.”
She hung up the phone but didn’t go to start changing. Instead, she remained leaning on the counter, staring at nothing at all. She wasn’t thinking anything in particular, just feeling an unusual amount of emotions she couldn’t define or categorize and becoming even more confused than she had been before.
~~
Lance put down the phone and sat back on the hotel room bedpost, letting his eyes transfer to the beautiful view outside of the window. He had hoped that she would have seemed to have missed him at least to a small degree, but her tone had revealed nothing to him. She sounded the same as always, toneless and bored and yet the sound had brought him a painful stab of happiness because he had missed it. He actually missed the sound of her voice and he was ready to check into a mental hospital for being clinically insane for falling for a girl with a zero chance for falling for him.
Closing his eyes, he could picture her as she had been the night when he was talking on the phone with his manager. The short, damp blond hair, the wide eyes, and the perfect pink lips that smiled only for him. He recalled how she had poured exactly how she was feeling in the moment to him, how she had come to him to talk, and how freely it was for her to do so with him now. No award or number of records had ever made him feel so important. Then, the feel of her skin under his fingertips and the ordinary yet extraordinary action she had taken later on would not stop replaying over and over in his mind. It was all so erratic and confusing, and yet the answer was clear.
He was completely absorbed in her.
“Lansten, my friend,” Justin exclaimed, entering the room. “Are you ready to go out and trash the town?”
He kept his eyes outside. “Not tonight Justin.”
Justin stopped right where he was standing. “Seriously dude?”
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Yea, hi JC.”
“It’s not like that. I’d just prefer to stay in, that’s all. Tomorrow will probably be different.”
“Not as long as Hazel still walks the earth,” he mumbled.
“What did you say?”
“Not a thing. If you want to stay in, that’s fine, but it’s your lost. I’ll check ya latz bass man.”
Justin left the room and Lance resumed looking out of the window, hoping that she would have a good time that night.
~~
Neal Klein couldn’t keep his eyes off of the girl standing next to him.
For a boy who had been born into poverty, Neal was an awfully arrogant young man. His father had struck it rich when Neal was 7 years old and the money, to say the least, had changed the once sweet and well brought up young man into just another snobbish rich boy in Florida. He had abandoned all of the friends he had in his old neighborhood and acted as if that had never even been him, that he had grown up with the rest of the elite his entire life.
It was a well-guarded secret. Not many knew about the Klein’s origins. Not even Neal’s best friend knew the whole truth about his childhood. He played his part well, however, and had adapted very well to the luxury life, as if he had known no other.
That’s why, when his best friend had suggested them to a short trip to New Orleans to experience the nightlife, he had thought the idea repulsive. Clubs were dirty, filled with low life teenagers who were either too drunk or too high for them to even remember their own names. He had gone only because he was informed that a certain young lady, a prestigious member of a high ranked family in Florida, had escaped down there. He had been after her for years and that, it seemed, would be the perfect time to finally attain her.
Who could have predicted she would reject him? Especially since he had traveled all that way?
He had been furious and humiliated in front of his friends and stormed off deeper into the club on his own. That was when he saw her, Hazel Fairchild, dancing. She wasn’t unnaturally beautiful, he had dated prettier in his lifetime, but there was something in her face, so young, so quiet, that caught his eye. Later on he was to find out that the same girl who had rejected him happened to be Hazel’s friend and he had practically begged to be introduced to her. His wish had been granted, and after that brief time in talking to her he had known instantly that this was the girl he wanted.
The reason was selfish, but he didn’t see or maybe didn’t care to see that. All he knew is she didn’t utter more than one sentence during their entire conversation and it had probably been the best he had had with a girl. She didn’t complain, she didn’t whine, she didn’t shriek endlessly about some new outfit she had just purchased that day. She was mute and it was almost like she wasn’t even there. That was the exact kind of girl he needed. A beautiful woman whom he could bring to the parties on his arm, introduce as his own, and would say nothing the entire evening. She would be the perfect trophy for the life he had created for himself.
It helped also that he was wildly attracted to her.
Alas, there remained a problem in his perfect plan. She wasn’t interested. She accepted his offers to take her out, but kept the dates purely platonic and would barely let him touch her. He had lost touch with her after he had returned back to Florida, but had attended all of the major club nights in hope that she would make it there someday. Now she was here, but still just as uninterested as ever, and maybe even more so.
Neal had faith though, he knew she would come around. He had already forgotten about the boy who had been with her the first night at Shock Syndrome, who else did she have?
Yes he thought as his eyes smiled at the sight of her she’ll give in too me. There’s no one else here she knows and besides, I’m the best she’ll ever get. She has to know that. Anyway, Hazel doesn’t give a damn who she’s with just as long as she’s having a good time.
Somehow, he had failed to see the differences between the girl he had first meet in New Orleans and the woman he was with now.
~~
At the end of the night Hazel sat in Neal’s expensive BMW as he took her home. She had always disliked Neal, but her disgust for him had multiplied that evening for some reason. He had kept looking at her as if she were some kind of possession he was planning on purchasing and she kept resisting the urge to slap the look right off of his face.
As unlikely as it seemed, she wasn’t a violent person, which proved that she must have really been on her last nerve with him.
The corner of her mouth quickly lifted into a small grin when the sight of the white building came into view.
“Here we are,” he announced, as if she couldn’t see it for herself. He pulled over to the curb and put the car into park.
“Bye.” She was already opening the door.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in dear?” he asked.
“I’m tired,” she replied flatly, getting out.
To her dismay, he followed her. “The least I could do is walk you to your door.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Hazel, I just want to make sure your safe.”
She stopped rushing ahead of him and, seeing no other way to avoid it, shrugged her shoulders and waited for her to catch up. “Ok.”
He talked the entire way to the apartment, but she was able to zone out for the most part and focus in on the traffic passing by next to her. She had grown to find peace in the sound of the racing cars fly by in the middle of the night. Right when she reached the front door she took out her key and shoved it in the lock, opening the door hurriedly with the intentions of closing it right in his face.
He managed to reach his arm around her and hold the doorknob shut just as she was about to turn it.
“Wait a second,” he whispered, his head right behind her ear. “I want to talk to you.”
She pushed past his arm to move a couple of feet away from him, her bored expression never leaving her face. “What?”
“Shall we go out tomorrow?”
“Ok.” She moved towards the door again.
He held his hand up to stop her. “Hold on, would you? Hazel, how long are we going to keep this up?”
“Keep what up?”
“Going to clubs every night.”
“If you don’t want to go, then don’t take me anymore.”
“That’s not what I mean. Look, what I’m saying is, I think it’s about time we made this whole thing official. Don’t you?”
She looked more confused than ever. “What thing? What needs to be official?”
“Our relationship.”
“What relationship?”
He was offended. “What do you mean ‘what relationship’? The relationship between you and I, of course.”
She wished she could laugh at the statement, but she didn’t care enough to put in that kind of effort. “I’m going to sleep. Good night.”
Neal didn’t know what to make of her. Surely she couldn’t be brushing him off, just like that? He couldn’t fathom the idea that she was dismissing him. He had been positive that when faced with the choice of being officially his she would have been totally compliant to the idea, she would have agreed without hesitation. Now, as she stepped past him to enter her apartment, he was beginning to see that maybe she wasn’t going to go along with the plan he had formulated in his mind.
Enraged and hurt, he reached out and roughly grabbed her wrist to fling her away from the door to face him. Hazel was greeted with the fury in his face, the blood rushing to his head in anger, and yet she wasn’t surprised or phased in anyway. It was a face she had seen often in her life, that she had grown used to.
The fact that his hold on her, or the anger he bore into her with his eyes didn’t cause her to react in the slightest, shocked him. The thing that astonished him more though was the way she stood and the way her body felt under his grip. The hand he held wasn’t trying to struggle, it wasn’t rigid in tense anticipation. It was totally limp and calm, as was the rest of her manner. She stood there and if he hadn’t known better he would have thought she was actually waiting for him to yell at her or worse yet, hit her.
“Get it over with,” she muttered without any malice towards him, just humble resignation.
Her words and her face knocked some sense back into him and he released her, taking a step back himself to think about just what he was about to do. He ran a hand through his blond hair and exhaled sharply. What had just happened?
Hazel stood there and watched him, wondering mostly why he hadn’t done it. Then the thought flew from her mind and she returned back to the door and opened in, closing it behind her and leaving the boy alone in her hallway. Already she had forgotten about the incident, her attention on the books sitting on the kitchen counter.
She decided to change into the sweats Lance had given her to use as her pajamas’ before starting on the essay she had to write. As she changed, the digital alarm clock by the bed caught her eye and she remembered how Lance had gone out that night. A sudden urge to call him passed through her, but then she remembered that she didn’t know the number to the hotel and that he was more than likely still out having fun.
A part of her hoped that he was having fun, but another part of her wanted very much to be there with him, and the latter was starting to grow in size and consume her. How could she possibly miss him so much and barely be separated from him for a day? It didn’t make sense, but nothing made sense anymore.
Sighing, she went out to the lonely kitchen and started on her essay.
~~
“So how do you think you did on the essay?”
Lance sat back in a lounge chair on the balcony of the California hotel room suite, phone to his ear. He wore a far to heavy silver diamond necklace around his neck, extremely dark gold-rimmed sunglasses, tight black leather shirt and red jacket to match, with baggy blue jeans. The hot sun shone down on him like a ray of fire and he wished there wasn’t a photo shoot coming up so he could change back into his favorite plain blue shirt, sweats, and socks.
“I’m not sure. Probably not too good.”
“Why do you say that?”
He could almost hear the girl on the other end shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve just never been any good at English.”
“Well how are the other classes?”
“Pretty good, actually,” she said, perking up a bit. “It’s weird to pay attention to the teacher for once.”
He grinned. “I’m glad. Any tests coming up?”
“That’s weird you asked. I’ve got this English test that I’m not looking forward too in a couple of days.”
“Oh, well if you want, I can help you study.”
“S’ok. I can manage I guess. How’s it over there? What have you got coming up next?”
“You know,” he said glumly, “The typical schedule. Just got back from a meeting with the producers and am on my way to a photo shoot. You should see me sitting out here in the boiling sun in my leather shirt and jacket. It’s ridiculous. Plus I’ve got the single heaviest necklace choking my neck at the moment. I swear, I think it’s about to rip my head off.”
She laughed and said, “Leather? Necklace? Lance, you don’t wear that stuff.”
“Well not normally. But I’ve got to wear it for the shoot.”
“Why?”
“Uh...” He had to think about it. “Well…I mean…what do you mean, why?”
“What’s the photo shoot for?”
“Just a regular one. We pose, they shoot, end of story.”
“You’re supposed to just be ‘N Sync right? You’re supposed to be you?”
“Well, yea.”
“So why are you wearing that outfit if you’re supposed to be taking a picture of who you are?”
Dumbfounded, he sat, mouth gaping at the telephone. “It’s the stuff people expect me to wear,” he answered, struggling to come up with something logical to reply to her question.
“I’m confused,” she said genuinely. “Why do people expect you to wear outfits that you don’t want to wear? I thought the fans...” She faded off. “It’s not my place anyway. I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“No,” he instantly protested, “Please, go on.”
“It’s just, if it was me, I would want people to look at my picture and see me, the kind of person I am, not just some package that doesn’t represent me at all. I would think it gives a false impression of who I am to all of my fans.” She didn’t like the sound of his silence, failing to realize that he was soaking in the things she had said. “Did you hear my big words for the day? ‘False impression’…I heard that yesterday in English.” She forced a laugh. “To tell the truth, I’m not quite sure what it means, but it seemed to fit what I was trying to say.”
“You said it perfectly,” he quietly affirmed.
“Lance, I didn’t mean to…maybe I should just mind my own business.”
“Hazel,” he said. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being you.”
~~
Three days after Lance had left for California, Hazel walked her now traditional path towards the Junior College. After traveling a couple of blocks, she passed by the daycare center, as she had grown used to doing. The children were outside playing as their carefree shrieks and laughter filled the air and she watched them, grinning sorely as she passed. It was torture but at the same time an incentive to pass the day care everyday, to pass her tangible goal everyday.
Today was different. As she walked by, focusing entirely on the children, she suddenly heard someone call out her name.
“Ms. Fairchild?”
She snapped her head up and saw Sally Espanoza walking out of the blue building, towards her. She found it rather unbelievable that the woman even remembered her name. “Yes?”
“Hello,” she smiled friendly and shook her hand. “It’s good to see you again. Heading to school, I see?”
She motioned and Hazel looked down to see the Child Development and English books in her hand. “Oh, yea I’m taking classes now.” She looked the woman straight in the eye and said, “I want to work here someday.”
Sally nodded in approval. “I can see it in your eyes.”
“See what?” Hazel asked.
The woman kept her smile. “Finish the classes Hazel. You have a place waiting for you here.”
“Ok.” She wasn’t sure what the woman meant and so waved once and continued on her way to class.