*This has got to be one of the weirdest things that’ve ever occurred to ANYONE,* Mark Powell thought to himself as he walked to the school bus.

:Unfortunately,: answered the voice in his head, :That’s true, even for someone who lived in Nerima!:

“Really?”

:Yeah. I mean, being launched into a new universe and having to share a body with another person is weird, even by my standards!:

“Says the boy who can’t find his way out of a paper bag and changes into a pig when hit with cold water.”

:Shut up!: Ryouga answered angrily. :Oh, and pay attention!:

“Huh?!”

Mark looked up, then back. He had passed right by the bus, and had been about to walk onto the wrong one. “How’d that…Oh. The whole ‘can’t find your way out of a paper bag’ thing.”

:Yes. Your sense of direction mixed with mine makes it so that you have to concentrate on where you’re going.:

“Great...”

Mark was walking the halls as usual, and had just made his way to the Aud Lob…after missing it two or three times.

:Hmm...Not bad. Not bad at all!:

“Says you, piggie.”

:....Shut up.:

As he entered the Aud Lob, gathering place for all students, Mark’s eye fell upon his two romantically involved friends, Jeff & Anne, cuddling on a bench. His heart gave its usual twinge, since he had always had a thing for Anne. However, the twinge was much stronger this time, and was followed by an unfamiliar sense of blinding rage. Mark stopped dead in his tracks, attempting to figure out exactly what was happening. Suddenly, it came together. The foreign emotions were Ryouga’s, being projected onto him.

*What the hell do you have to be upset about, Hibiki?* he asked angrily. *This is my concern, not yours.*

:Well, it just became mine,: Ryouga responded angrily.

*What are you talking about?*

:Ranma, and Akane:

*What?!*

:It’s Ranma, and Akane. I can tell if someone Bonded like the two of us, and both of them are Bonded. And I’d recognize those two anywhere,: Ryouga replied morosely.

*It figures. Jeff & Anne, Ranma and Akane. Perfect sense, since the universe apparently hates my guts. Why me?!* Mark mentally groaned in frustration and anger.

:There is one way to stop it.:

*Oh? And what’s that?*

:Same as always. Fight Ran--Jeff for her.:

*No, that would never work.*

:Why not?! It always has before!!:

*Jeff would never fight me. We’re pals. But I can think of a way to get Ranma to fight us.*

:And what might that be??:

*You’ll see. But it all depends on whether or not you’re willing to risk everything on this to win Anne…or Akane, as it is.*

:I would risk my very life for my love!: Ryouga proclaimed melocramatically.

*Great. So just leave everything to me.*

So saying, Mark walked over to Jeff.

“Jeff?”

“What is it, Mark?”

“We need to talk.”

“OK…”

The two walked over to a quiet corner.

“Actually, Ranma and I need to talk.”

“How did you…”

“Ask him about Ryouga.”

“He…oh. Hang on, he wants control of the body--Jesus! All right, already, take it!”

Jeff slumped for a moment, then stood up straight again. Now, though, his entire demeanor had changed. It was as if an entirely different person was now inhabiting Jeff’s vacant body; which was of course the case.

“So whaddya want this time, P-Chan?”

“Simple, Saotome. I have a little proposition for you. A fight to settle everything, in the gym, this afternoon during free period.”

“What do you mean, everything?” Ranma asked suspiciously.

“Here’s the deal. If I win, you and Akane are finished, and Ryoga & I get to date Akane & Anne.”

“Sounds like every other challenge you've made before. Don’t humiliate yourself again, bacon-breath.” Ranma began to walk off, but was stopped before he got a yard.

“Let me finish, fem-boy. If you win, though, I will release you from the promise you made. To put it bluntly, you can tell Akane about who P-Chan really is.”

“WHAT?!”

:WHHAAAAT!!!!:

*Look, Ryoga,* Mark thought quickly, *you DID say that you were willing to risk it all. Just consider this as a REALLY big incentive to win for once.*

“Fine, then. Deal. That it?”

“Yep. Prepare to lose, Ranma.”

“I just hope Akane doesn’t mallet you to death when she finds out about the whole pig thing.”

Jeff walked off, leaving Mark and Ryoga in a fierce internal debate.

Almost a quarter of the school was crammed into the gym, waiting for the fight to start. After all, they liked this sort of thing as much as the average otaku. Jeff was standing on one side, waiting patiently for Mark to arrive. A few moments later, Mark entered with his friend Art, a diehard Ranma fan.

“OK, Mark. You have a couple of advantages. You’ve got more motivation, you’re more used to the mindset, and you’ve got martial arts training.”

“Not much to go on.”

“It’s still an advantage. But the main thing is this: you’re aware of everything Ryoga can do, and can cooperate enough to pull them off. Jeff probably won’t know his upper limits or all the techniques, not to mention that he and Ranma will probably fight for control once or twice, making for one heck of an opportunity.” The two reached the center of the gym floor, and Art turned to head to the stands. “Good luck.”

“Thanks, man. I get the feeling that I'll need it.”

"That's the spirit! Get that depression aura charged up!"

"......"

"Well, good luck!"

Art walked off, leaving Mark & Jeff facing each other. Jeff stood unarmed in a comfortable workout outfit that gave him free movement and would conceal any small movements. Mark, though, had on an outfit that was a duplicate of Ryouga's (...well, as close as a jobless, high school otaku could get to it, anyway), complate with a yellow and black patterned bandanna and crimson umbrella.

“Ready, pig?!”

“Yeah, Saotome. I’m ready...to take you DOWN!” On the last word, Mark dropped the umbrella, and in one fluid movement, launched a barrage of razor-edged bandannas at Jeff, then grabbed up the umbrella and leapt at his rival.

Jeff dodged the bandannas (though not easily), and leapt out of the way as Mark’s umbrella came down and formed a crater in the wood floor. Jeff kicked out and landed a blow on Mark’s ribs, but took a savage punch to the gut and doubled over. Mark pressed the advantage, but hit the floor as Jeff swept his legs out from under him. Both combatants rolled away and ended up facing each other from about two or three yards apart. Suddenly, Jeff leapt into the air, grinning as an annoyed Mark followed him into Ranma's--into HIS turf. After a few seconds of frenzied mid-air combat, Mark/Ryouga was slammed into the gym's tile floor, leaving a nice Mark crater surrounding him. He painfully struggled to his feet a second later as Ranma/Jeff gracefully landed a few yards away to the sounds of scattered applause.

:What’s going on?: Ryouga asked worriedly.

*I got stupid and went after Ranma in air combat. Then I got punched THROUGH the floor. And yet,* Mark mused, *I'm still in good shape. I think that your inhuman strength and endurance are beginning to wear off on me.

:And?: responded the Lost Boy.

*Well.... Mark stalled for a second.

:Well, WHAT?!:

*We’re losing. Not by much, but we're still losing this fight!*

:NO!! Not this time!: Ryoga bellowed. :Try this....:

Mark nodded with a smile a second later as he understood the plan and Jeff rushed him.

“BAKUSAI TENKETSU!” With that, Mark/Ryouga dropped to his knees and poked the floor. Almost instantly, a small section exploded, envloping both Mark & Jeff in a large cloud of powdered linoleum. Jeff searched blindly for a moment, only to find Mark as he brought both fists around into Jeff’s ribs. Mark thought that he could feel something give beneath his fists as Jeff yelled in pain, then countered the double-sided punch with a Tenshin Amiguriken to the jaw. As Mark staggered back a few feet, Ryouga reawakened within him, while Jeff/Ranma used the opportunity to catch his breath.

:What happened?:

*Just badly bruised.* Mark mentally groaned as he massaged his aching jaw. *Nothing else, but I can’t take too many more of those. After all, you are a helluva lot tougher than I am.*

:Well, deal with it. It’s too fast to avoid once he hits you.: Ryouga shot back.

*But if he can’t hit us...*

:What?:

*Lemme try something here.*

Jeff, ready to fight once more, leapt at him with another Tenshin Amiguriken. His happiness was destroyed, though, when Mark dodged it and kicked him in the back. Jeff went flying and twisted around, skidding on the floor, only to find Mark right behind him with a punch to the jaw. As he felt the impact, Jeff suddenly went limp. Mark quickly rushed in, only to be hit with a solid punch to the back of the skull. Mark’s entire world exploded in black bursts and stars; he felt Jeff approach, but was to dazed to react as he was sent flying into a wall, then collapsed.

As Mark sagged to the floor, Jeff jumped for joy. In the audience, Art watched with Lawrence Smith, a senior.

“Kisama,” Art cursed. “It’s all over.”

“Not necessarily. Knowing Ryoga’s toughness and the rapidity of his healing, he’s not out yet,” Lawrence responded matter-of-factly. Art started.

“How would you know that medical stuff? You’re more of an electronics specialist, right? Not to mention, I know I've never seen you even look at ANY manga pr anime, much less Ranma!” Art exclaimed.

“Well, yes, that's true for me, but...”

Art stared. “Holy...it happened to you, too, didn’t it? The same thing that happened to those three!”

Lawrence grinned. “Exactly.”

“And I would guess the medical knowledge makes you...Tofu Ono?”

“Yes,” The good doctor responded. “But don’t tell anyone for now, all right? We’re trying to keep it quiet.”

“OK…any reason?”

“We’re just getting accustomed to this arrangement before we announce ourselves. Besides which, if public revelation causes this sort of stuff," he pointed down at the gym floor, "I have NO desire to have it happen to me.”

“Good point, actually....” Art trailed off, then changed the subject. “So Mark actually has a chance?”

“A very good one, if Ranma doesn’t bother paying attention.”

Below, Jeff was done celebrating his apparent victory, and was heading towards Anne with an unpleasant glint in his eye. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t notice Mark getting up with a unique expression on his face.

There are several expressions that are ratherunique to Ryouga Hibiki. Two of these are the "DIE, SAOTOME!" face (usually used after Ranma turns the Hibiki cranium into an impromptu lauching pad), and the "I WILL KILL YOU FOR HUMILIATING ME IN FRONT OF AKANE!!" complexion. At this point, these two facial expressions were merging with the Mark Powell "Someone is going to die for this." face, and creating a whole new look. This look said, "I am going to KILL that rat-b*st*rd Ranma Saotome." Unfortunately for Ranma, he didn't see it until it was much too late.

“YAAAAHHHHH!!!!!” Jeff whirled to see a really ticked-off Mark launch a barrage of bandannas at him. Jeff ducked, dodged, and blocked many of the projectiles, but there were simply too many. A few seconds later, Jeff was pinned against the wall as Mark moved in for the kill. Suddenly, Jeff pulled free and leapt at Mark. A sudden, nasty fight erupted, with no elegance or dignity shown by either combatant. In fact, it resembled a barroom brawl more than anything else.

Jeff suddenly leapt up and away, bleeding in several different spots. A badly bruised Mark followed him, launching a few bandannas that Jeff easily dodged. Jeff leapt, only to be slammed into a wall by Mark’s belt.

“Can’t take much more of this,” he muttered in pain as he collapsed on the floor.

“So, Jeff,” Mark commented with a smirk. “Giving up already? Then I suppose Anne is mine.” Mark pretended not to notice that Jeff was glowing bright red with anger.

:What are you doing?!? I hope you realize that you’re getting him angry?: Ryoga asked worriedly.

*Trust me on this. Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. I think.* Mark responded in a very non-reassuring manner. “I’m sure Ukyo or Shampoo will be willing to comfort you after this one.” He called out to the prostate Ranma. Mark actually grinned for a second as his rival leapt at him with a growl of incoherent rage. Unfortunately for Jeff/Ranma, he never noticed that Mark was staying incredibly cool under the pressure or the spiral pattern he was moving in until....

“HIRYU SHOTEN HAAA!!!” Jeff’s eyes grew wide as he realized the trap that he had been led into. Almost instantly, though, he stopped thinking as an icy vortex of chi slammed into him like a refrigerated freight train.

Mark stood, almost completely worn out as the twister faded away and Jeff crashed to the ground. He turned to face Anne, never seeing a battered Jeff rising up out of the crater with a cry of “Mokyo Takabisha!!” He felt it, though, as Jeff’s firey confidence blast sent him flying across the gym, into a set of (thanfully unoccupied) bleachers. As Mark slowly arose, shrugging off the wooden planks and bolts covering him, he and Jeff faced each other once more. Both were battered and bruised, and probably shouldn’t have been capable of standing after the damage that they had taken.

Jeff stared at Mark with narrow eyes as he tried to anticipate his rival’s next move. Then, suddenly, his eyes flew open as he saw Mark’s umbrella flying straight at him. It was at this point that the Hibiki luck decided to kick in. Jeff leapt high into the air, allowing the umbrella to fly into the wall. With the affinity of any inanimate object around Jusenkyou-cursed people, it shattered a cold-water pipe, sending a stream of icy water straight out at Mark. Mark stared in numb horror, but didn’t react fast enough to dodge it, and was hit dead-on by the cold water.

“Bweeee....” //I am SO dead.//

Anne stood, shocked. Everything had just come together, and Akane was in control. In a blind rage, a mallet appeared in her hands.

"RYOUGA NO HENTAIIIII!!!!!!!!!!” Anne/Akane’s chosen battle cry rang out. Jeff looked on both triumphantly and worriedly. Mark squealed as Akane picked him up by the bandanna.

“Listen, you little freak,” Akane spat out through clenched teeth. “If I ever see you again, I will have you neutered, then will beat your skull in and serve you as sweet and sour pork. Now DIE!” She dropped Mark-P, and malleted him through the gym roof. A faint “Bu-kee!” //Aw, man, not her cookingggg!// could be heard as he disappeared into the sky (insert gratuitous “Look’s like team Hibiki’s blasting off agaainn! *Ping*” here). Then, Akane turned on Jeff.

“You knew, Ranma...and you never told me!!! How could you?!!”

But just as Akane raised her mallet, she collapsed on the floor. Behind her, Lawrence/Tofu stood, looking a bit sheepish.

“Sorry, but it seemed for the best.”

“No problem, Lawrence...but, uh, how did you do that?” Jeff asked curiously.

The lanky senior cracked his knuckles. "Simple Shiatsu knockout points. Wasn't that hard, really."

"Ah...so, should I call you Tofu?"

"Let's jusst stick with Lawrence for now, OK?"

"Whatever you say." Jeff replied as he picked up Anne and began heading towards a quiet corner to rest and recover.

Jeff was sitting outside, with several bandages on his face. He stared as Mark-P struggled up the sidewalk. Jeff immediately grabbed the piglet and leapt up to the roof.

“Look, I just wanna talk, OK?”

“Bwee.” //Drop dead, Saotome.//

“Mark...Ryouga...ah, hell. Both of you, listen up. Just leave her alone for a few days. Akane and Anne are just really hurt right now, but they’ll forgive you in time. Probably, anyway." Ranma paused as Mark-P glared balefully at him. "After all, Ryoga was a good friend. You can’t take all of that away."

“Bukeee.” //Yeah....I guess.//

“Good. Now get going. Find yourself a showing of 'Babe' or something else to do.”

Mark-P turned & leapt away...right off of Jeff’s injured face.

“HEY! THAT HURT, BACON BOY!!!”

Mark-P laughed to himself as he dashed off.