Ah, what a tangled web we weave.....or buy for $19.95 at Target. Whatever. And now, to meet the cast of characters that populate our sad little world.
Mike--Bringer of wackiness. The wanna-be military man with a heart of tarnished brass. He's a semi-talented jazz clarinetist, and the sort of person who makes you ask: "What drugs are he on, and how much do they cost?"
Current situation: Mike is enrolled at the Naval Academy, where he studies engineering, how to kill people, and participates in masochistic rituals...er, crew.
Matt--Bringer of insanity. The more original one, who insists on playing the most wacked-out music he can buy. Who else could provide such concentrated horror as the Sailor Moon theme song, Ranma 1/2, or even the Carmen Sandiego theme? We don't want to know, quite frankly....
Current situation: Matt attends JMU, where he is a psych major and is in SFFG, MANGA, and the comics club. He's currently plotting to join up with WXJM, the official campus radio station, next semester, and eventually DJ his own show where he will spread the same style of insanity as he did at TJ.
Ilsa--The Poochie to our Itchy and Scratchy. Although unofficially a part of the group since 10th grade, she's only begun taking an active role since the beginning of this year. Now, with her geoscience readings, her microphone hijackings and her Quote Book of Doom, we all know that she's one of us. No matter how much she denies it.
Current situation: Ilsa is in California, at Harvey Mudd. Apparently, she lives in East Dorm, a very AudLobby place, so that's cool and all.
Nick--The producer. Mike's original choice to cohost the show way back when, he settled for producer credits. Famed for wearing pants big enough to store armies in the legs. Also famed for tripping over said pants going up the stairs once (ask Matt, an eyewitness). Despite getting a shout-out at the end of every show, he's never shown up for a broadcast.
Current situation: Piazza is a senior at TJ, and is still wearing big pants and being a weird guy. He actually did show up for about ten minutes of the last regular show--we have taped proof of this!
Croland--The loyal listener. Croland showed up once in junior year as our first unexpected guest. Because he complimented us and was actually listening to the show, we gave him his current title and creds, yo.
Current situation: Croland is at college, we don't remember where at the moment. He's still in guard, though, we think.
The Tagalongs--Alton, Geoff, Diane, Annalisa, Matt Kurjanowicz. They show up every now and again, bringing their own peculiar brand of nuttiness to our show. Not much else to say. Except for 2 warnings: Beware of flying turkey byproducts, and never, never, NEVER touch the dangling Jello. As Mike will tell you, it's more trouble than you can imagine.
Current situation:
Alton--Dropped out of Rice after his first semester due to personal issues. Is currently plotting a return to NoVA for later this summer, and eventually hopes to attend someplace like Tech or UVA.
Geoff: A senior at TJ, going to a school in Rochester, NY, and rooming with Glenn there. We anticipate the destruction of the school in a fiery mishap by winter.
Diane: A sophomore at TJ, still in guard, still an AudLobber, and still wacky. 'Nuff said.
Annalisa: She's a TJ senior, and going on to Mary Washington next year. Hey, maybe I'll see her if she joins their Sci-Fi club and that whole thing which I can't discuss yet goes through! Anyway, she's still dating Stryer.
Kurjanowicz: A junior, still dating many women. Still the TJMCQMA Keyslut. Still Kurjie.
Ted--The one who started the entire tjRadio thing in the first place. Known as Vortex on the airwaves, this fellow Ranma fan's Friday afterschool broadcasts were listened to by exhausted senior guys who continually requested old-school Santana. He showed up on a regular basis throughout junior year, becoming the third member of the "We Put the Spring in Springfield" barbershop trio. Then, he graduated, went to Lehigh University, and joined the ROTC. ....uh, yeah. Good luck, man.
Current situation: Still at LeHigh and now a ROTC officer. Still DJing and raves a bit, too. Not much else to say 'bout Ted.
The RockReview staff--These guys took over the station after Ted graduated. Then, they turned it into "their own private dildo!" (Ted). As such, we rebel against and annoy them at every possible opportunity. They're going down!
Current situation: RockReview's own arrogance came back to haunt them, I suppose. After they graduated. tjRadio ceased existence. Why? Because they guarded their privileges so fiercly, they never bothered to tell any underclassmen how to set up/use the equipment! So, tjRadio's dead, and it's all their fault. (At least, that's our story, and my taking of the microphone had nothing to do with it, you poster-trashing b@st@ards!!)
Christina Danko and her cohosts--Now, we have nothing against Danko personally. But her show is all boypop, all the time. They're the antimatter version of "The Mike & Matt Show". They're our evil twins!! As such, we avoid mentioning them lest the universe detonate if our two shows ever come in contact.
Current situation: Graduated, gone on, still probably evil zombie boypop junkies. Eeew....boypop....so cold....so very, very cold....must use anime music to restore life....
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