(1980)
Directed By James C Wasson
Former video nasty Night of the Demon is almost comedic in it attempts to shock in places. The story and idea could well have been one of the many inspirations behind the Blair Witch Project, as it concerns a group going out into the wilderness looking for Bigfoot. But god, the back-story is truly bad if a little freaky. When Bigfoot rapes a woman, she gives birth to a half-human half Sasquatch type creature, which is what is roaming the woods… I think. The funniest scene comes when a man is sleeping peacefully in the woods then Bigfoot comes along and grabs the man and swings him around his head while still in the sleeping bag. Hilarious.
By Yodasnoog
(1984)
Directed By Herbert Ross
Back in the days before he could disappear, the living legend Kevin Bacon was appearing in this ‘classic dance’ movie. Made in 1984 and after the ‘Saturday Night Fever’ frenzy, the film blatantly repeats and copies it’s brilliant predecessor. Young man, rubbish at everything, good at dancing, wins over everyone – sounds like Billy Elliott. The film, thanks to Bacon himself, has warmth, you feel for the young character he portrays. ‘Footloose’ plays like the children’s version of ‘Night Fever’ or, even worse, the T.V movie on a Sunday afternoon.
By Ada-Padz
(1979)
Directed By Robert Clouse
Most of you that have seen this would have guessed just by the title of the article that this would be here. A cheap ploy at “finishing” Bruce Lees final movie, using stand ins that look nothing like the man himself in stature and form, and using footage from other Lee classics to help carry the illusion even more. The big laugh for me comes when “Bruce” enters his changing room at the beginning of the film, with footage from Enter the Dragon thrown in with a badly super imposed towel around his neck for continuity. You have to sit through all of this crap to get to the actual footage from what would have been the real Game of Death at the end. And even though it is worth the wait to see the man in action, you still feel a tad nauseous from the previous 80 minutes you’ve had to suffer. Thank God for the fast forward button. I’m still waiting for the new documentary that has tried to splice together all of the footage Lee shot for his original movie to get released over here, although it isnt meant to be done that well it has to be better than this.
By Yodasnoog
(1978)
Directed by Gordon Hessler
70's Rock band/Superhero's Kiss starred in there own TV Movie. It very much is similar to the Batman TV series or Wonderwomen. Very campy, superficial superhero shite.
The storylines is a thin one. In a theme park were Kiss are playing a concert. The ride engineer (with a cheesy German accent) gets the sack. He then goes on the rampage against Kiss and Capitalism with his mad cybernetics. It is of course up to Kiss to stop him.
Actually strictly speaking the first half a hour is pretty dull. It's obvious that they tried in the storyline department. Either that or they couldnt get a hold of all of Kiss because certain members were snorting coke in there trailer (Ace and Peter hated making this movie). It isn't actually till Kiss arrive when all the fun begins.
All of Kiss have magic powers. Ace 'The spaceman' Frehley, the guitarist can teleport. Paul 'The Star Child' Stanley shoots a beam out of his eyes (with very bad effects). Gene 'The Demon' Simmons the bassist can breath fire and Peter 'The Cat' can..ehh. well he does cracks corny jokes about cats.
The effects are very cheap and are often coupled with cheesy space effects which appear to be sound outakes from 'Lost In Space'.
Also this has the worst stunt doubling in history. Ace , there guitarist leaps up into the air only to be replaced by a stocky black man. He then lands again and is back to Ace. The producers obviously thought the heavy make-up applied to Kiss could hide the stunt doubles well, they couldnt have been further from the truth.
Ace and Peter are both dubbed in annoying voices. Peter in a sailors voice and Ace with this high pitched squeal that goes 'Ack' or something. Gene also has a Lion roar dubbed on him which is actually pretty effective. Gene comes off the best in it being a huge fan of comic books/horror films his guise was always the most outright acted part anyways and is by far the most cinematic. It's no suprises that he got involved in a acting career in the 80's.
I haven't had as much fun in my laugh watching this movie, but it may be hard to find.
Ack!!!
By Kenaz
(1995)
Directed By Paul Verhoeven
Paul Verhoeven is a brash and rather complex character to try and figure out. He can make classic, memorable movies like ‘Robocop’ and ‘Basic Instinct’ and then unadulterated schlock like this.
His “morality tale set in Las-Vegas” borderlines on un-watchable cheesy dancing and god-awful dialogue. After Drew Barrymore refused the leading part, Elizabeth Berkley, straight out of T.V land, made the part her own. A memorable performance from Gina Gershon, playing the rich bitch Crystal Connors. Although the critics lashed the movie most of them were American reviewers, focusing in on the nudity and sex. The movie is called ‘Showgirls’- What did they expect. That’s like going to see ‘Driller Killer’ and being shocked by a gruesome killing. This film is so bad it is good. I enjoyed it. At least it’s entertaining!
Ada-Padz
(1980)
Directed By Uli Lommel
Another former video nasty here, which tells the story (from what I could make out) of the spirit of a dead killer terrorising people and such. The most pointless excuse for gore and nudity comes when a girl is cutting her hair in only her knickers and skimpy top when the invisible force forces her to first cut her top open and THEN force the scissors into her throat. Then ofcourse follows said girls annoying little brother getting his head jammed in a window, which is by far the highlight of the movie. This film is also good to play that favourite game of the movie buff “Spot the boom Mic”
By Yodasnoog
(1972/75?)
Directed By Nico Mastorakis
Island Of Death still to this day languishes on the video nasty list, and I can’t say it shouldn’t be there.
The plot (if you can call it that) revolves around two lovers who venture to a Greek island and carry out murderous deeds for excitement. Deaths include…Crucifixion followed by drinking white wash, forced drug overdose and then burning them in the face with the classic makeshift flame thrower (that’s a can of hair spray and a lighter kids!). And who could forget the man of the couple who is miffed at his lover for not wanting to have sex so he does what any healthy sexually charged man would do…Buggers a poor defenceless goat and then slits it’s throat. But I must give respect to the editor of the film, as the cut-a-way to this scene is pure genius if you know what’s coming. Plus the goat seems to like getting shafted, oddly…
During a chase scene the soundtrack consists of what sounds like someone placing a microphone to there throat and humming at various pitches. Piss poor, but funny.
There are many times where you are left thinking “what the feck!” mainly during the scene where the guy suddenly decides to take a piss over a women who is trying to seduce him. Crazy.
This is really one of the true classics of the “So bad they’re good” genre in our eyes here at Spuffjockeys. If you ever get a chance to see it watch out for the genius that is the Shepard at the “climax” of the movie. FRUMP!
By Yodasnoog