How
To Panic Less During Pregnancy
I’d say “don’t get pregnant
in the first place” but that would be stupid. I’ve thought
about it a lot, though, and it truly is the only way to
prevent pregnancy-related anxiety. Even my non-panicking
friends have intense anxieties as the last trimester slowly
passes – millimeter by millimeter. So what can you do to
avoid as much panic as possible?
Avoid TLC Like the Plague!
Do not ever for any reason at all watch The Learning
Channel (TLC) – not Maternity Ward, not Baby Story, not
even animal birth stories. This is potentially scarring
and detrimental to someone with panic attacks. I know –
not only did I go through a stack of tissues watching three
back-to-back episodes, I also went through several xanax
trying to calm down. They don’t show only the happy stories,
they like the shock value of variation – enough said!
Read the positive stuff.
Do not read websites about others birth experiences unless
you know for a fact that they’re positive stories throughout.
No caffeine. None.
Not a damn drop! If caffeine makes your thoughts race –
if it EVER has made your thoughts race – it seems to have
a multiplied affect when you are pregnant.
Careful with message boards!
If you happen to frequent pregnancy message boards – be
careful reading posts that involve medical information,
the posts about Gestational Diabetes or blood pressure will
cause panic, do not read them, if you are reading a post
and it starts getting to be too much information, hit the
BACK button on your web browser immediately, just do it.
Nobody will fault you for not replying to one post. I am
sorry I had to use two medical terms in this paragraph,
that’s how bad I know it is.
Keep some things to yourself. Do not tell everyone
that you are taking anti-anxiety medicines if you have made
the decision to do that. They will make you feel bad about
yourself and that will lead to anxiety being furthered.
Avoid too much information.
There is a difference between being educated about pregnancy
and information-overload – know the basics but do not seek
out information on the scary aspects of pregnancy. If you
want to hear of others births so you have something to relate
to in an attempt to prepare yourself for labor and delivery,
ask OUTRIGHT for ONLY positive stories and information.
I know I have said this before, but it is important – it
has been a great source of anxiety for me hearing horror
stories.
Blame it on your pregnancy.
Know that as you get further along in your pregnancy, your
stomach will be squished and that will cause you to have
a lot of extra stomach gas – and KNOW that when you feel
tension or pressure in your chest or stomach area that a
good old fashioned burp will make it go away. Seriously.
Stick to that premise. Always blame it on stomach gas. Ask
your obstetrician about this – it’s true.
Blame it on your pregnancy,
again. Know that your heart rate naturally increases
during pregnancy, it is normal and means your body is working
properly – do NOT take your pulse, do not do that to yourself
– just KNOW that it’s normal for it to be faster and try
to leave it at that. Keep telling yourself that very important
fact – that it means that your body is working properly,
it’s doing the right thing, it knows what to do and is doing
it which means you are doing a great job.
Write out your feelings.
I know this sounds lame but it is such an enormous help.
Open up a text editor on your computer, save the file right
away as “My Pregnancy Journal” or some such thing – and
type until your fingers are raw if you need to. Vent those
frustrations and fears, get out all of those emotions –
good and bad, and when you are having a terrible day – write
about the future and possibly a “dream day” with your baby.
Fantasize on paper – whatever it takes, just get out those
feelings. Also, if you have an absolutely terrifying symptom
of your anxiety that you truly believe to be the worst it’s
ever been – write about it, and when it passes – and it
will – go back and add a paragraph to that describing that
it passed and you are now okay. It is so important to be
able to read that you honestly thought it was the worst
it could ever be – then when it happens again, you gain
reassurance knowing you got through it before. It’s like
a natural anti-anxiety pill.
Find someone to talk to
about their non-anxious life. Try to have friends who
don’t deal with panic so you can ground yourself in something
other than a world where everyone you know is panicked.
If at all possible – not that I’m saying you should lie
– avoid telling them you have anxiety disorder, just allow
yourself to be a woman with them, not a panicker, not anxious
– just a girl.
...Along those same lines, talk to your husband or partner
about things that don’t have to do with panic or anxiety.
Don't quit your job. If you have a job, do not quit
working – being at home alone makes it more complicated
to avoid panic, being alone is difficult – and I know that
going to work is, too – but trust me on this one, it’s worse
to sit alone with nothing to focus on other than what time
your husband or partner gets home. A sense of routine is
so grounding – if you are going through your pregnancy without
a way of doing things, a “rut” so to speak, then it’s like
you’re just waiting for any opportunity to arise where you
can latch onto a panic-producing moment or thought. There
is much comfort to be gained from a routine. If you are
a stay at home mom, or if this is your first pregnancy and
you are staying home, then get involved in something – a
pattern to your every day, write down a schedule if you
must, but keep some sort of routine in your life, even if
it’s “I shop for groceries on Tuesdays and I do laundry
every Monday.” I know, again, that this sounds lame, but
it is an enormous benefit – when everything in your mind
is so chaotic, a sense of normalcy can be found in your
familiar routines.
Humor is a godsend. Look
for “pregnancy humor” on the web. Here are a few of my favorites:
Dave Barry is always most
excellent to read for a reality-tinged laugh.
