My Support Person - My Husband

This page has little to do with panic attacks and is more of an "And I'd Like to Thank..." page.

I don't know where I'd be without the support and love of my husband, Dave. I've never in my life met a man as brilliant, loving, kind, generous and exciting as he is.

I can't even begin to describe to the world how much I love and admire this wonderful man. He's been by my side through years of panic attacks, self doubt, and sometimes self loathing. He has never said an unkind word to me, only offered insightful and loving regard. Dave has panic attacks sometimes, too, and I suppose one could say that because of that it makes him more able to understand and tolerate my panic attacks, but I don't think that's necessarily true. Well, not the whole story anyway.

There is just no limit to the depths of my husband's generosity towards me and I truly, truly love him for always being there. Day and night, whether in person, by email or phone, he is always there - and for that, I am eternally grateful. I am also grateful that he doesn't pander to me, nor does he put up with my shit. He calls me on things, asks but never tells me to explain myself. This almost always leads to my figuring out what the hell was causing me to feel so miserable (and taking it out on him) in the first place. He challenges me and teaches me things with the utmost of patience and love.

There has never been a greater mind, a kinder heart, a more beautiful soul to enter into my life. I am fascinated by his every move, instantly calmed by his very presence, and I feel like Joan of Arc when he is by my side. I am grateful to the God that came into Autumn's life and caused her vision to cloud over with the sweet bliss of becoming born again. Thank you Autumn. Thank you Trish. Thank you for letting him go so he could find me.

I had a pretty bad panic attack in the grocery store tonight and Dave was there for me. He didn't baby me or coddle me in any way, he supported me through it like I needed him to. He held my hand and just went about the business of unloading our cart, I know he kept his eye on me but he never asked "Are you okay?" because he knows that makes me feel like everyone can tell I'm panicking, which makes me feel awful - just the thought of it. All he did was look at me gently and be there, and with those things, he was saying "I know you're okay, and you know you're okay - you can do this." And, God, I love him for that.

I'm certain that he doesn't know exactly how wonderful he is, although I tell him as often as I can. I can only venture to imagine how difficult all of the changes in his life have been since meeting me. He became an instant father to two young boys, he later became the father of our son, he went from spring water in the coffee maker loaded with freshly ground Sumatra to Folger's for us. For me. Everything has changed for him and he's been incredible about it. I truly, with every fiber of my being, am deeply in love with him.

There is nothing more that I wish in life than that everyone had this kind of love.

Thank you Dave for finding my website, nevermind about the survey you were going to help me with, we got so much more. I will never be able to thank you enough for holding on to me and loving me back, for supporting me through my panic attacks, my father's funeral, being pregnant, not getting that job I really wanted, and all the little things, too.

I love you...my support person...my husband.

We won.