Where have all the women writers gone?
Mon, 18 May 1998 14:15:00 +0800

Where were all the lady writers of the Spectrum in our last issue? Two weeks ago, they were in full force and I enjoyed that issue very much, probably the best by far.  We, men, if left alone, are a big bore in this world!  As God saw that Adam needed Eve, so too do we need the women in the Spectrum!

Rene Tio (Batch '70), Cagayan de Oro, Philippines
 

Dateline Buffalo

By Ernesto L. Yu, M.D., Batch 1965 Ernstyu49@aol.com

Have you heard of the smart aleck-lawyer from Bohol who took the pathetic case of a serial killer who was destined to be marinated and grilled on the electric chair because the best deal the languishing jail bird's previous legal counsel could get was a mere suspended sentence (literal translation: death by HANGING!)?  Our topnotch attorney from Harvard (Tagbilaran U, actually) was able to successfully (hooray!) negotiate a plea bargain: The hoodlum still has to end up on the frying pan, but at a lower voltage!  Guess if you aspire to sport an afro look on your climb to hell, you need to slowly savor every curling spark.

Or, heed this personal advice: Whatever tricks the Justice Department implements, don't sit down.

Love thy neighbor...and run for your dear life!

Overheard in a Urology clinic: Viagra, where art thee during these dark years?
 

Briefs from Down Under

By Leonardo "Eddie" Tan, Batch 1966 edtan@idx.com.au

It seems that only an act of God or a miracle could stop Vice President Joseph Estrada from being the next President of the Philippines.  Based on the unofficial tabulation of Namfrel, the trend is now established and no doubt Erap won convincingly.  Estrada's resounding majority against his closest rival, House Speaker Jose de Venecia, Jr., is so great that the gap needs more than just a massive dagdag-bawas operation to dislodge the frontrunner.  I think we have reached the point where there will be a civil disorder in the entire Filipino nation if Joseph Estrada will not be proclaimed as the President-elect of the Republic of the Philippines. The Comelec's official count has now become only a mere confirmation or an anticlimax to the Presidential Derby.

Weeks and even days before the May 11 election, my inbox was filled to the brim with messages and articles, all painting unsavory and negative portrayals of Joseph Estrada.  A few averred that the man should not even have been elected Mayor of San Juan some 20 years ago in the first place.  He was perceived as a gambler, a womanizer, a drunkard, a dropout, a man with poor command of the English language and, above all, a man who does not understand the national economy in this critical era of globalization.

Now that we will be stuck with the man holding the highest elective office of the land for the next 6 years, let us not wallow ourselves in total despair.  We have to think positively in order to survive his presidency.  Let's give Erap a chance.

As a gambler. We are a nation of gamblers.  What's new about that?  Our favorite pastime is the weekly sabong or cockfighting!  As long as he does not bet the Philippine treasury.

As a womanizer.  Well, men are alleged to be polygamous by nature!  Let's not be hypocrite about it.  Erap might just be too honest and too open in this regard.  I watched his recent interview and he was asked about this subject.  He answered: "President Clinton has sex scandals. I have sex but no scandals."

As a drunkard.  We are a nation of happy people with that trademark smile so well known throughout the world.  We love our dances and music.  Many of these happy activities would not be achieved without the essential ingredient of alcohol and being drunk!   Let us hope that with his mature age now and heavy responsibility as chief executive, Joseph will now drink moderately.

As a dropout.  A dropout from high learning in college or university.  This is just the formal education.  We actually never stop learning in this ever-changing world.  Regardless of the number of degrees we obtained in our formal schooling, we still could be a dropout once we stop learning in our daily lives. We hope the incoming president still keep on learning.

A man with poor command of English language. This is only a perception. And besides, maybe it would be more nationalistic to express in our own native national language as most of the world leaders do.  Who says our national leader should speak English at international forums?  English is not our mother tongue.  Chinese leaders speak Mandarin, Japanese leaders speak Nippongo, Suharto speaks Javanese and it is only natural that Estrada speaks Pilipino.  Let's give our interpreters some jobs too.  And besides, among the Asian leaders, Joseph's command of English language is better than any other leaders in the region.

A man who does not understand anything about national economy.  As president, Joseph's primary role is leadership and not as an economist.  He can solicit the opinions of the best minds in the country and as a leader it is up to him to choose the path for the greatest good to the greatest number of the Filipinos.  Remember the 50s?  The President at that time asked his staff why the price of rice had skyrocketed after a series of typhoons and destroyed the rice crops.  The staff said it was caused by the law of supply and demand.  Then the President quipped - "Let's repeal that law". I think Joseph EEstrada is brighter than that.

Mohandas Gandhi, Napoleon Bonaparte, Adolf Hitler, Jose Rizal, Ferdinand Marcos, Benigno Aquino, Aung San Suu Kyi, Nelson Mandela and Kim Dae Jung, to name just a few, had written their nations' history. They have something in common. They were all incarcerated at some point in their lives. Joseph Estrada has also a rendezvous with Philippine history. I just can not remember the title of the movie in which he was jailed!
 

Jokes from the Internet: English is a Crazy Language

There's no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.  Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?  If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?  One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught?  If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?  Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run and feet that smell?  Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?  How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?  How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it? --Contributed by Larry V. Sy (Batch '72), Burnham, Ill., U.S.A
 

There used to be a time when a trip to Iligan City was never deemed complete without a visit to the Maria Cristina Falls, the Grande Dame of Iligan's 20 or so waterfalls.  Offhand, this may sound a bit of an exaggeration but these days a visitor can't be said to have seen Iligan at all if he has not been to another one of the city's natural wonders: the Tinago Falls.

After public access to Maria Cristina Falls became restricted (now open for public viewing only on Saturdays and Sundays, 11:30 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.), the Tinago Falls has emerged as the newest prime destination for Iligan visitors.

Tinago Falls (from the Cebuano word "tinago," meaning "hidden") is indeed a hidden paradise.  Concealed for years in a deep ravine, the site lies deep in the wilderness of Ditucalan, some 13 kms. from the city proper.  The trip takes all of 40 minutes to reach by car on an uphill climb through rugged and winding mountain roads.  While the bumpy ride may be a bit stressful, the virgin forest and lush vegetation along the way are sights to behold.

Before the place was developed, it is said that one had to part ferns around treacherous cliffs to discover the cascading beauty of Tinago Falls.  To reach the site, visitors had to hold on to shrubs, trees, roots and vines to lower themselves downhill for a dip in the icy lagoon of Tinago Falls.

Unlike the majestic 320-ft Maria Cristina Falls which one can only view from a distance owing to its sheer size and thunderous rapids down below, the Tinago Falls allows visitors to enjoy a leisurely swim in its lagoon of crystal-clear and still water. The waterfall comes in gentle cascades trickling 120 feet down the cracks and fissures of a gigantic granite rock.  It's almost like Eden recycled in a timeless panorama of unmatched splendor. (Continued next issue)

EDITORS NOTES:

Staff Photo Update:  Our staff web page now has more photos added since it was first posted on the World Wide Web.  The page now comes with an almost complete photo gallery of the staff members.  Visit the page by directing your browser to "What's New" on our LCHS web site: http://www.iligan.com/~lchs/alumni/