Chapter 7: A Startling Discovery

        Dawn came slowly. Darien blinked at the sunlight filtering in through the windows. He realized where he was and what had happened. He was mystified when he had discovered she had been a virgin last night. He felt rather guilty, but he wondered how that was even possible. He turned and saw her lying next to him, sleeping quietly, her glorious golden hair covering her pillow. He reached over to pull her hair out of the way, to finally see her face. He couldn't quiet believe it when he saw her, he looked again as if he had missed some important fact, surely this couldn't be who he saw before him. It couldn't be! The woman blinked at the bright sunlight, revealing crystal blue eyes that he knew so well. He couldn't breath and his words lacked a voice when he said,
        "Serena? Please tell me this is some strange dream." Serena saw and heard him, and her heart broke. He knew, oh god, he knew! He would never speak to her again. Her liquid blue eyes filled with tears. When all of the sudden he leaped out of bed and found his voice saying.
        "It was YOU all along! YOU who seduced all those men!" she slowly slid out of bed, wrapping a blanket around her, letting her long blonde hair fall over her eyes as she nodded slightly.
        "Well, how is it that you were a virgin til last night?" he was so angry she thought. She had rarely seen him this angry. She began to say softly,
        "I just-" but he cut her off.
        "Well, I guess you didn't sleep with them, but tell me Serena - exactly how far did you let them get before you stole their money?!!" he yelled. She cringed. He was getting the wrong idea. Is he? That's exactly what you did. he came at her again,
        "How DID you do it?" she cringed again. She took a deep breath and said,
        "I drugged them, they thought I slept with them, and then I took their money so I could-" he cut her off again.
        "That's really sick. I thought I knew you - you were like a little sister! But all you are is a greedy filthy tease! Get dressed and get OUT OF MY HOUSE!" he opened the door to the adjoining room and slammed it behind him, leaving her alone in his room. Tears ran down her face as she gathered her clothes and dressed silently. When she was done she looked around the room, and had her last look into Darien's life. She noticed a writing desk and thought to write him a letter. At least she could try to explain what he would not let her tell him.
        When she was through she read the letter over to herself.
        Darien-
        I cannot find many words to explain why I did what I did. I can only say that I did not do it for myself, or perhaps I did. One day I took a wrong turn and found myself in a disreputable district of London. I saw dirty, hungry, abused children begging for change or bread. My heart went out to them and I knew I had to help them any way I could. I gave out all the money I had, but I knew it wasn't enough. I told one of my close friends my dilemma and together we devised "Angel". We set up an orphanage that now has ten children in it, everyone of them angels. I cannot give you any valid excuse for my behavior, except to say that I had to keep it up if only to see their bright shining faces twice a month. I hope you can forgive me for leading you on, I guess I fancied myself as a sort of Robin Hood, but perhaps I was just a thief. I'm so sorry for hurting you Darien.
        -Serena

        Serena put down the pen and sealed the letter. She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes, trying to stop the tears that refused to cease. She had known last night that he would react that way, but it was still a blow to her. There was no way she could have prepared for that. She put the letter on his bedside table and quietly closed the door. She forcibly calmed herself and the butler let her out, not really sensing anything amiss. She hailed a carriage to take her to Giana's. She needed the sure comfort that only she could provide.

        Giana had worried herself sick last night wondering were Serena was. When her young friend came running up the steps to her door, she was in a relieved shock. She flung the door open and dragged Serena inside before she even had a chance to knock. She hugged her tightly and ran nervous fingers through her friend's blonde hair.
        "Oh goodness! Angelica, I was so worried for you! I thought for sure something awful had happened to you. I even sent a letter to your mother telling her you were staying the night at my house. Where have you BEEN?" Serena gathered herself and hugged Giana tightly.
        "I was with a man last night." Giana sucked in her breath.
        "Oh no..Oh no." She rocked her gently and led her into the kitchen where she asked her cook to brew some tea. "Who was it? Why?" Giana noticed the tear streaks and wondered. Serena took a shaky breath and started her story. When she was finished Giana whistled low under her breath.
        "How dare he say those things." Serena waved a tired hand before her eyes.
        "He had every right Giana, he knew nothing better of it." Giana sighed and said,
        "I suppose you're right, but still, he didn't even let you explain." Serena gave her a look.
        "You really think anything I said could have changed his mind no matter what I said?"
        "No, I suppose not. I still don't understand why though. You knew he was going to act like that. So you thought he would marry you once he calmed down?" Serena's eyes focused to some distant spot over Giana's shoulder and she shook her head sadly.
        "No, I knew he would never marry me, and I pretty much expected what he would say when he found out I was 'Angel'." Giana grabbed her hand,
        "Then why? Why give up your chance at a good marriage Angelica? Just for this man who you knew would scorn you?" Serena looked at her and her eyes gathered with unshed tears.
        "I loved him so much Giana. I've loved him since I was 14 and finally he wanted me the same way. I prayed to God that if I could have just that one moment with him, I would forgo any marriage. He never loved me back, but it was enough. I love him so much it hurts Giana." Giana got up and walked around the table to cradle Serena in her arms and Serena cried heart-wrenching sobs. Giana felt her chest constrict painfully. If only she could love like that, she was sure she would do the same. Giana of all people understood her.
        After a time, Giana insisted that she should probably go home and rest. Serena put on a happy smile for her parents who were, for once, sitting at breakfast together. They smiled and asked her how her stay was and she responded with a false report. Her mind was far away and she just went up to her bed and laid down, still thinking about the glorious night, which she didn't regret, and tried to forget the painful morning. She would never regret that night. She had loved so long and never knew it, but almost as soon as she realized it he was out of her life. She wished she had his love, or at least his open arms, but it was never to be.

        She spent her days in a melancholy state of mind, refusing to leave the house, much to her parents' distress. She did nothing but ride her faithful horse and stay in her room. She blamed it on the stomach flu but she knew that she was still depressed as she had been in the weeks before she got sick. Two months passed without her leaving the house. Her parents were very worried about her. The sweltering days of summer passed into the shades of fall in those months but Serena found no joy in her surroundings.
        One morning when Serena was just waking up she realized that she this was the second month that had passed without her having her moon flux. Oh Lord...I'm pregnant Suddenly things began to make sense. She hadn't had the stomach flu after all, that had been morning sickness and the weight she thought she had been gaining was really a living child. A child! Darien's child... It could be no other. Suddenly the first spurt of pure happiness she had felt in months filled her. She was going to have a baby! She didn't care what society says, she would at least have something of him. People would ridicule her, her parents would kill her, she would be a social outcast as an unwed mother, but did she care? No. Her child was more important than any of those heartless people of the ton. The people most important to her would still love her. Richard, she was sure would be shocked, but he would still love her. Giana would most certainly love her. Her parents would love her even if they didn't speak to her for a while. Darien wouldn't love her, but she would have his child to remind her of him, of that one night.
        She danced through the day, leaving her family wondering at her sudden change of mood. She would have to tell her father tonight, and she would have to deal with the battle that ensued, but they could never take her child away from her. She would never give him up to them, even if she had to run away.
        As the evening came to a close, Serena walked into her father's study. Kenneth was penning some document, but looked up when she walked into the room.
        "What is it Serena? Can it wait?" he asked. Serena shook her head.
        "Not really." she hesitated
        "Well?" he asked impatiently. She sucked in her breath and blurted out.
        "I'm pregnant." He stood up so suddenly that his chair flew backwards and crashed against the wall behind him.
        "WHAT?" he asked through clenched teeth, his face turning redder by the minute.
        "You heard me." Her father picked up a paper weight and threw it across the room. She flinched but sat still.
        "You little..To think I raised you, fed you, clothed you, and then you turn around and throw IT ALL AWAY!" he seemed at a loss for words after that. It was then that her mother ran in, still tying her bathrobe around her, looking distressed.
        "Kenneth, what is going on down here?" her father pointed at Serena and said,
        "Your daughter is PREGNANT!" Her mother looked at her, looked at her father, and looked back at her placing her hand softly over her mouth and saying quietly,
        "Oh dear." At his wife's soft statement, Kenneth seemed to calm down. He looked at Serena who was white as a sheet and sighed as the last of his anger drained out of him.
        "What am I going to do with you?" Serena looked up at him and was relieved to see that his rage had died down. He looked so helpless.
        "I'm sorry. Don't worry about me, I'm keeping my baby." Her mother came over and placed her arm around her shoulders.
        "You cannot dear, oh think of what you'll have to live through, pregnant and still unmarried. Your child will be named a bastard Serena." Serena shook her head.
        "I've heard legitimate children called worse and he will never lack for love or anything else." Her father sighed again and sat down.
        "Can you tell us who the father is and how long this has been going on?" Serena looked at her father straight in the eyes and slowly shook her head.
        "I will not. He doesn't love me the way I love him, and I know you would force him to marry me. If this is all fate will let me have of him, one night and a child, then I will be satisfied for the rest of my life." Her father shook his head, this was all too much for him, but they would get through it, they always did.
        "Let's all get some sleep, we'll talk again later."