< - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Another World
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Wishing
You Were Here
By Eternal Angel
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In the abyss of happiness
We see only what we want to see
And all I see is you
* * *
He was barely five years old and already, he was quite the handful. She smiled
at that, finding much joy in her son's disastrous ways. Luckily for her, he
seemed to be too transfixed at the large swell of her stomach that pronounced
her very advance pregnancy to be stirring up trouble.
He gently put his hand on it then, and giggled in giddy when the baby kicked.
"He kicked!" She smiled at the boy's eagerness for the baby's
arrival.
"Auntie told me a story today," he told his mother, as he put his ear
against her stomach. "She told me a story of a dashing prince and a pretty
princess
the princess was from a kingdom on the moon," he lifted his head
excitedly, as his beautiful blue eyes meet her own, "but then the prince
was just an earth prince, he wasn't from nowhere special."
"Is that so?" She asked, lifting her eyebrow up in amusement.
He nodded, "Yeah, but he was a strong and cool prince, so it's okay."
She sniffled back a laugh.
"Anyways, this prince and princess meet and fell in love
" He
wrinkled his nose at how girly it was to fall in love, "But then
they
both died
"
His mother sighed remorsefully, "Ahh yes, I remember that legend."
She gently stroked her son's face, her eyes wistful, "It's a beautiful
legend, Motoki."
He shrugged carelessly, and then perked up at the ends that he had thought up,
"When the baby comes, let's call him Endymion!" He happily exclaimed
as he thought of the courageous prince from nowhere special who had died for
his princess
He looked so happy talking about his brother that his mother hadn't the heart
to tell him that she was expecting a girl, not a boy. But he eventually found
out when he was gifted with a little sister named Selenity, two weeks later.
* * *
He had promised her that he would marry her when she was seven years old after
her brother Motoki barked at her annoyingly that she was never going to get
married because no one wanted to marry a big crybaby that she was. And, being
the dignified, little girl that she was, she had tilted her head, nudged her
bottom lip out, and then let out a big wail as gushing rivers of tears fell
from the delicate blue eyes only to be concealed by the locks of silver curls
that bounced in front of her face.
She ran to him then, the boy always there for her and right next door. Her
whimpers made him stare in absolute horror at the realization that she was
crying. He was never one that
was able to fend with the sight of his beautiful bright angel in a fit of
sadness and tears? That only made him squirm much more.
"Mamo-chan
"
He tried to comfort her then, but his moves were awkward and gawky at each and
every sniffle she had let out. Instead she looked at the adjacent blue eyes
that stared at her in part fear and in part sad too. She smiled a little at his
use of her nickname that he had given her as the fat tears continued to fall.
He once said, when they were so very young, that her hairstyle made her look
like she had bunny ears. And, since then, he had been calling her Bunny.
But of course the moment of forgetfulness soon was lost when he asked her what
was wrong. She then remembered her brother's harsh words, causing her smile to
fall again and her tears to swarm down more rapidly.
"To-to-ki-o-nii-ch-an said that I- I'll never be ab-able to g-get ma-rried
when I'm older cuz I am a brat and I cry too much." She told him, her
bottom lip quavering so much more, as she broke into another fit of childish
sobs. "I don't wanna be all alone when I grow up!"
Her hysterics opened a new door to something inside of him, making him feel
jumpy and uncomfortable and very mad at his Bunny's brother. He then took a
deep breath and stood up quite straight and proud, his voice very firm and
adult, "Don't worry Bunny, I'll marry you when you're older!"
Her tears stopped as she stared at her best friend.
"You will?" Her eyes were filled with a wondrous look of hope that
all he could do was nod assertively. "Now I don't have to worry about
being alone!" She said giddily, "Because
I love you Mamo-chan!"
Her voice was rimmed with a joy.
"Love is for girls." He retorted back, but wasn't able to surpass a
toothy grin.
Everything was once again right he was able to cheer up his angel.
* * *
She didn't like the news, not at all.
She had been with him all her life, and never EVER had to be away from him for
more than a week. But now, he just came and told her that he had to leave for a
whole SUMMER? Who was she was suppose to spend time with?
She was eight years old, and the fact that her best friend was going to spend
the summer with his grandfather didn't please her, it didn't please her at all.
"But Mamo-chan! You can't go!"
He frowned at the tone of her voice, and the warning signs within his mind that
screamed out to him. He knew exactly what was going to happen next, and to his
prediction it did. She cried.
He cringed.
"Bunny! My grandfather is old and alone. He *needs* me!" He tried to
explain to her, as she stopped crying then. Her eyes looking at him with one
raised eyebrow as she let out little sniffs. "He's alone?"
He nodded sadly, as the girl looked down at her shoes, somewhat ashamed of
herself.
"You'll be coming back to me when school starts
right?" she asked in
fragmented pauses. He nodded solemnly while she let out a ragged breath at the
thought of her reluctant defeat.
"Do you promise to write?" She asked as her striking blue eyes looked
at him, pleading. He nodded once again and she grinned sloppily, still sad
about him leaving, but happy that his grandfather wouldn't have to be alone.
"Okay! I'm going to write to you too! Everyday!" With that, they
pinky swore.
* * *
He stopped getting letters from her after the sixteenth of July. It was strange
why had she stopped writing to him? Was she mad at him for leaving her? Or
was she mad at him for only writing her three times a week instead of everyday?
He was busy with the karate that his grandfather was teaching him
and the
sword fighting
He waited by the mailbox and he looked up at the mail lady who just appeared.
His eyes bored into hers she shook her head causing him to slump into a
desolated sorrow.
Selenity hadn't written to him for the past twenty-two days.
His gaze was downcast.
Why?
* * *
His parents told him that she moved so very far away from Azubu with her
family. A place that was too far to visit, and a place that did not have a
postal service for him to send her letters.
He moped about it for a year, memories burnt deep within his mind as he ached
with an insane missing for his companion.
And soon, he became withdrawn from the world.
* * *
So much aching, so many tears
All wilting in the past
Yesterday we have lived
Tomorrow we may die
But where were you today?
* * *
*Seventeen years later*
He was given a large sum of money and that large beautiful estate that he had
grown up within in each and every summer since he was eight year old. He moved
into the beautiful home which was a secluded house right after it came to his
possession. He loved the house that was placed upon a hill. Thousands of steps
led uphill to the beautiful home that sat in the middle of the flatland, the
sakura blossoms swirling about it from the beautiful amorous petals that
drifted to the ground.
The land was very fertile for gardening. The gardens were filled with
vegetables, and some fruit trees hung their branches, which were heavy with
fruit every summer. Not only that, but a garden of roses grew, littering the
air with it's demanding scent only to interfere quiet dramatically with the
smell of the beautiful blossoms. But they mixed together all so well, given it
a serene dreamy atmosphere that pushed anyone into a haze of perfection.
Then again, everything was perfect.
Sighing, he opened the sliding door made from paper and wood. Sunlight spilled
in from the dawn's light announcing the morning to the world. He loved the
seclusion, the isolation it always brought him a satisfying serenity. He
liked being away from the harshness of the world, away from the troubles it had
brought. He graduated from the university getting his degree in medical at an
early age. And from then on, he worked at Juuban's top hospital as their top
doctor. And after seven years of working, he thought it was time for rest.
After so many years of working as a doctor, he couldn't help become appalled
with the world around him, the harshness that was all around him. People whom
were abused by the ones they love, attacked by the same people that they trust,
and even almost killed by their own family! So many evils within the world, the
corruptions, the darkness
all the aching within everyone. He couldn't help but
find himself disgusted by everything everyone to the extent that he moved
away from it all. For he found that being alone in the emptiness of his home
was better than being in the real world with people who could possibly betray
him or
leave him.
* * *
Dinner for one like always: steamed rice, boiled vegetable, fried meat with an
already made sauce. He ate silently, his chopsticks picking up the food neatly,
as he captured each piece with accuracy. He sipped his green tea, his eyes
looking out into the world, as he watched the sun slowly set making the sky
explode in brazen colors.
He did want to be alone, to be away from the world
He took another bit of his food, took another sip of tea to wash it down.
Something seemingly ate into his heart, a deep aching emotion that he tried to
ignore. But it grew from the days, from the nights, from the dreary moments
when he could feel himself truly be alone
He despised this feeling.
Loneliness- that's what people had described it once to him. He liked to call
it annoying. But no matter what he called it, it was always the same. Always a
deep pulsing that made him feel
incomplete
feel
almost
broken.
He glanced at the food he ate. Every day the same meal
every day the same
company
No one.
He set down the chopsticks, everything swimming within his mind. People were
never meant to be alone thus forth the reason why God created Eve a beautiful
aberration to rid of Adam's loneliness. So, if that was so, was it so very
wrong for him, to, for some reason so deep within him, want someone to cook for
him? Someone to stay by his side in this insolent world where only destruction
happens and help him see the beautiful rainbow that's always there just hidden
within the rubble of his cynicism?
He closed his eyes then, trying to picture that someone, that someone that
would make him open his eyes.
A smiling eight-year-old filled his mind.
"Bunny."
But she was gone
out in a world that he knew he would never be able to fit
into. Deep longing, forever aching
her name upon his lips swirling all around.
He gazed up at the brazen moon. Its shimmering beams of moonlight forever lightened
up the sky from the forbidden darkness that wishes to swallow the world. Words
fell out of his lips, a simple plea, but one so very broken.
"I wish you were here with me."
* * *
But no place was truly paradise
Of course that was what he was thinking as he was hacking off the weeds that
decided to grow within his garden. Pulling out weeds wasn't really his idea of
fun, but it was tolerable, he
couldn't help but think as he pulled out another stubborn root out with a huff.
"Jeez, why can't you get the point?" He asked questionably to the
stupid freeloading greenery.
He was slowly going insane, seeing that he talked to plants
no, weeds, he corrected
himself. Shuddering, he shook his head. He was worst off then he thought he
was. "Maybe I should go to town." He said, as he frowned maybe. He
would probably pick up some more food, daily needs, who knows, maybe he'd find himself
a girl that would match his personality.
Wincing, he knew that was impossible.
"What type of girl would like a guy like me?"
Sighing, he pulled out another weed and threw it behind
him.
"A wonderful one
that's for sure."
* * *
He liked to paint. Painting gave him a way to express himself, a way to
so he
lied, it wasn't really expressing. He was just drawing what he saw the fields
and fields or roses that were within his grasp. He squinted from the painting
to the reality.
He couldn't tell the difference.
He frowned then, with a sigh while taking the canvas into the house with him
carefully, being cautiously due to the wet paint only to place it in a spare
room.
Another twenty images laid in the room, discarded, untouched, unglanced at. But
it didn't matter; painting was just a pastime and nothing he really cared about
even though he did it wonderfully. He didn't acknowledge his wellness as a
talent for what was talent when there was no one there to say it was other
than oneself?
Frowning, he poured himself a cup of tea.
Was it the annoying emotions that were swirling up once again? Something that
couldn't help but wish
wish that there was someone
someone to praise his
work? To tell him that he had talent, that those paintings shouldn't be
abandoned in the deserted room.
But no one was here.
He took another sip of the tea.
No one was ever here.
* * *
He took down the sword from the wall, taking a deep breath before he begun his
practice by himself, moving the sword gracefully through the air. The stillness
of the night, all hung by the limb as seemingly danced around within the room,
the blade cutting the heavy air all around him. His moves were graceful and
quick as the sword spun around hypnotically.
Sweat beaded his face, he willed himself onward.
The tempo rose, as did his speed.
He fought himself.
Frustration, anger, confusion, so many emotions, so many things, all against
him, all for him
deep breaths, a rushed heart
he couldn't take it anymore.
The tempo decreased.
He stopped, sweat beaded down his face. He took deep breaths.
And, within this mist of tiredness and aching, a single sound danced within his
ears.
The sound of a person applauding to him.
A deep breath, his eyes looking up very slowly into the depths of familiar
eyes.
He sucked in another breath.
Silver hair.
Two odangos and the strings of hair that fell from the buns like bunny ears on
a rabbit.
Bunny
"Bunny
" She smiled at him, as she stared at him still, unmoving.
She seem to be taking him in, this man that once was a boy with chubby cheeks
and the biggest smile on earth.
"You were wonderful Mamo-chan, wonderful."
A sweet voice, awakening, awakening
what was this that had just come alive? He
didn't know, all he knew was that this must have been a dream. Was this
? Could
it be? Was she the girl he had promised to marry when he was only seven? The
girl that brought immense joy into his life for the first eight years of it.
The girl that left him?
"Selenity." His voice was harsh, unforgiving? No, but... she took a
couple steps closer to him, her hips swaying lightly to show him that she was
different now not that little girl but a woman. Her blue eyes met his, still
the same ones, so beautiful, so serene that
She was but an arm distance away
from him now, so close. So close
He leaned closer, taking more space away from them.
"Mamoru." She taunted back in reply, as her eyes then filled with
emotions. All true, he knew that for her eyes always showed everything. Her
eyes could never lie. "I missed you."
Damn his grudge against her, her apology was the only thing he needed to hear.
"If I could, I would have written to you
but it was impossible
so
impossible
"
He touched her arm, rending her to a state of shock. She stared at him, her
eyes misty, her arms shakily touching him. Joy filled the room at the
connection of her hand onto his.
"I missed you too." He replied back, and she smiled, her eyes
blooming with happiness.
"Arigatou," she stated to the heavens above, confusing him. "Domo
arigatou." And with that, her arms then flung themselves around his neck.
A swelling appeared in his heart
it was a pleasant feeling
a wonderfully
pleasant feeling
"Bunny
"
She stared at him with wonderful clarity.
"I'm glad you're here."
* * *
Fathom the words of truth
Imprinted within the mind
Scream out the wonder
Fallen within the distance
Dream, love, long, forever
It dances before our eyes
Even though we're blind
* * *
It didn't take him much time to get use to her living with him. In fact, it
took him no adjustment or trouble at all. He instead figured could comprehend
how he was able to survive without her with him in the first place. He meant,
how could he have lived in such a desolate loneliness? Now there was never loneliness,
but a beautiful stream of light that consumed his dull life. She was everything
he had longed for without knowing it. She was the person who made him happy by
praising his every skill. And for that he did everything in his best ability to
make her pleased with him.
She was his best friend after all
The thoughts swarmed around as he let out a sigh, the grassy plains around him
tickled him gently. He was lying in the grassy fields with his laughing bunny
as they watched the clouds slowly form shapes in the sky he felt as if he was
a carefree child once again.
"That one looks like a crane
and that
it looks like
like
you!" She said, as she pointed up at the cloud. His attention then reverted
back to the smiling angel as she pointed out the cloud to him.
The white fluff did not look like him.
He frowned, "That doesn't look like me at all."
"Of course you don't see it! In that cloud, you are actually *smiling*."
He laughed at that comment, as her eyes filled with a brilliant happiness at
his outburst. "That's much better! You are more fun to be around when you
are happy!"
He wanted to tell her that he had been happy this whole time, but warded
against that as he watched her some more, the twinkle in her eyes, the softness
of her voice, and the silk of her hair
God she was beautiful.
"Where have you lived all this time?" He asked her, as all the mirth
from her eyes slowly disappeared; as she took a deep breathe the blue orbs looking
at him with softness. "Why do you want to know?"
It was an odd questioned she had replied back to him with. Why did he want to
know? Why did he want to know? For the past years of his life, he had wondered
why his best friend in the whole world abandoned him
and if she was thinking
about him too
"It's a simple question," he said slowly, "I mean, I'm curious
as to why you weren't able to write me or contact me
or say good-bye."
His voice turned quiet bitter, as he sat up from his position on the grassy plains,
emotions playing on her face. She looked away.
A pregnant pause filled the room, as she let out a deep breath, her eyes still
very much elsewhere, finding it too painful to see him mad at her. "I
couldn't
I just couldn't
everything is more complicated then you
think." She stuttered between every word.
He gentle brushed his hand against her face, moving it back to meet his own.
"I'm willing to listen."
She shook her head, "I can't
it's
just
" She continued to shake
her head as she looked down at her hands, "Mamo-chan, I would tell you if
it wasn't so
vile."
He stared at her in confusion. What had happen? Was she running away from
something? Maybe a past crime? He shook his head, he knew with out a doubt that
Selenity was incapable of anything of that sort. Was she running away
from a
lover? His throat restricted at the thought, then he then scolded himself.
Why should he care if she possibly has a lover? They were
they were
friends
"Why are you here?" His voice was hoarse, finding that even
justifying the fact that they were nothing but friends did not make the thought
her having a lover ease within him.
Her blue eyes then filled with a gentle calmness as she told him her answer
with a smile.
"Because you wanted me to be."
He stared at her once again, in wonder
how did she
?
She stood up then, bouncing a bit, her eyes still shining brightly. "I'm
hungry! Let me cook up some food for you! Hmm
maybe some curry! What do you
think?" She asked him with a grin as he numbly nodded. She skipped away
into the house, as he sat in the field of grass, her answer still numbly
rebounded within his mind.
'Because you wanted me to be.'
He didn't understand her answer, in all truth, it confused the hell out of him.
What did she mean by because he wanted her to be? It was true, he did long for
her
but
He then sighed and followed the lead of the bouncing rabbit. Maybe
he'd get her to explain sometime later on, he couldn't help but hope. He walked
back to the house as his mind still lingered on the smiling angel's answer.
* * *
His kitchen was a disaster.
He had entered to watch her cook only to see she had made a mess of his unified
serene home
all calmness had disappeared from it. He gawked in horror as he
looked at the mess that made his stomach turn.
Water had formed a small pond in the middle of his kitchen, as rice was
splattered around the sink, slowly absorbing access water that was also
splattered around. Vegetable peelings littered the counter.
Then, he looked at her. She looked as though she was about to cry. He watched
her in alarm, as he became the seven-year-old boy again; ready to promise her
the world if it could prevent her tears. Hell, he would even volunteer to clean
up this
mess. He let out a gulp at the thought of that, looking at the mess
one more time in a distressed manner. When he was younger, he had readily
promised her marriage even though he thought girls were 'icky'. But then again,
Selenity had never been a 'girl' to him
she had been a companion, a friend
But only her tears would make it possible for him to jump into an endless pit
if she only asked. Others cried, pleaded, wailed for his attention they never
got a second glance. His body began to waiver under her gaze, as tears brimmed
in her eyes. "Bunny
don't cry,
" He pleaded to her, as she stared
at him in shock.
"Cry? I'm crying?" She looked at her reflection by gazing at a silver
pot. She let out a laugh. "Ahh, these onions, they always make my eyes
water." He relaxed his body as he smiled at her.
"You look wonderful when you smile Mamo-chan
I missed your smile the
most when we parted." She said softly, as she placed the onions into the
boiling pot of curry mixture, her eyes far off, recalling memories. "They
were mystical gifts, your smile." She reverted her attention back toward
the dark haired man, "And they still are."
He was taken back by her words. Mystical gifts
his smiles
? "Ahh,
anything else you missed?" Yes indeed, the perfect Mamoru was fetching for
compliments and enjoying it too.
"I miss all those years where we could have been together
" she
said, as she stirred the curry. "All those years
" she shook her
head as she turned to the rice which was in the steamer, as she averted her attention
towards the rice, she grinned at the results.
"We can always make up for those years with the future." He told her,
as she turned to him. "Yes, to the future
" With that, she placed a
plate in front of him, as he gazed at the curry, taking an uneasy gulp.
He was afraid, suddenly, that there wouldn't be a future for him anymore.
She laughed, seemingly knowing his thought.
"Afraid Mamo-chan? You once said you were afraid of nothing
why are you quivering
now?" He gave her a distraught look and then used his chopstick to pick up
a portion of the food, and placed it in his mouth, chewing it uneasily and then
swallowing it.
The food touched his tongue, causing it to tingle with it's gentle flavor and
sweetness, appealing to his taste buds very much. He took another bite.
His eyes lit up.
"This is good."
She laughed.
"Of course! Did you ever have a doubt?"
He decided to turn his full attention to the food instead of to answering that
question.
* * *
Gentle breeze
Lost within the color of your eyes
Can you feel the dreams?
Float away? Float so high?
Flying you to another realm
Of magical vision
And gentle disposition
* * *
Was love supposed to happen all so quickly? But then again, he had always loved
her. There was never a time that he did not love her, even when she disappeared
out of his life, leaving him alone in this world of corruption and chaos to
fend for himself. He loved her, he longed for her, and he wanted her to fall in
love with him, to tell him that she couldn't live without him, like she
couldn't live without her. Everything confused him
no, that wasn't right.
These emotions confused him. All he knew was that one moment he was minding his
own business, and then next, she appeared, with that smile of hers, causing his
heart to feel things he could not explain.
She looked at him, a smile on her lips, as she tugged him along, with her, into
the deepness of the forest that lay within his property, as she stopped at the
beautiful sight before them that he had not once seen before.
A waterfall, with clear, unpolluted water that fell from the ledge above, and
into a lake of clarity filled with beautiful water lilies. Selenity explored
the area, as he even found himself in complete awe of the beautiful serenity of
the sight and atmosphere. "It's beautiful," he whispered, and she
turned to him, grinning. He then found himself awed once more, "Almost as
beautiful as you."
She giggled, "Ahh, Mamo-chan, you always knew how to flower me with lovely
words
everything about this place is filled with calmness and serenity
don't you ever get lonely?"
"How can I get lonely with you by my side?"
She shook her head: "Don't get all witty on me now
I'm serious. Aren't
you ever lonely? You need other companionship besides me
you need a life other
than the seclusion that you built
it isn't healthy
"
Her eyes were far off, "You need to live and fall in love
get married,
have kids
and then maybe you can join me after you have completed so much
"
He stared at her confused, "Join you? Are you not here with me this
moment? I don't need anyone
I have you."
She turned to face him, her silver hair a tumbling around her as she shook her
head. "I can't stay for long
I don't know when I'm going to leave
maybe
tomorrow
next week
" she shook her head with uncertainty, "Promise
me you'll find someone to love."
Her eyes pleaded with him, as he wanted to tell her that he loved her. But her
eyes willed him to try to understand. He nodded and she relaxed.
"Now, why don't you go to town? Possibly say hello to your parents
but
don't mention anything about me
it's too
"
Now he began to understand. She was hiding from something, something that was able
to take her away from him. He nodded numbly, and she smiled. Taking his hand,
she began to lead him away from the beautiful spot and back into the clearing.
"Are you going with me? I have plenty of room in my sports car for you and
I
"
She shook her head and paled at the word 'car'. "No, Mamo-chan, leave
without me
be careful when you drive
please be careful."
Her words were forceful, as he smiled at her. "Don't worry about it Bunny,
I'm a doctor
I have some sensibilities." With a salute, he began to
climb down the stairs as Selenity watched him leave, her heart aching.
Everything inside of her ached.
Her mind spun as she watched him slowly disappear.
Thoughts flaring, heart crying, dreams fleeting
She found herself lost within the self-pity, lost within the inane commotion
brought to her by the single promise she made him give her.
She didn't want him to love another.
She didn't want him to find another
She wanted him to love her.
Some more aching, a deep arising longing.
And tears.
'I want you to love me
'
* * *
He found life more fulfilling in the city; the strangeness of the world finally
appeared sane within his eyes. He understood why people liked to live within
the confinements of the noise, the hatred, the horrors of life it was because
all this had just strengthened their love for another. They were like tests of
love, showing one how deep a love can become.
He smiled, as he thought of Selenity.
She was showing him this, introducing him to a new world. A world of beauty and
awe: where he could see something wonderful that made life so rare and
beautiful.
Opening the door to the house of his childhood, he couldn't help but see the
memories of so long ago with the two of them all around him. Joy lingered in
him, and he felt happy. He closed the door with a soft bring, as his mother
came to see whom it was. She was clad in a simple dress, a white apron covering
it as her black hair was braided and reached her hips. Her deep aqua eyes gazed
into him, as her feet stop moving at the sight of him, and she began to cry.
"Mamoru! Oh why didn't you tell me you were going to come?" She then
embraced him, her arms squeezing him tightly. "I was worried about you!
You didn't contact anyone after you moved to your grandpa's house."
With that, she let him go and gave him a stern look. "Chiba Endymion
Mamoru, don't you ever disappear like that ever again! I should whoop you boy,
but I need to check up on the odangos I was making for your father
you always
liked them didn't you? Rei's here also. Your cousin will be glad to see
you!"
He nodded plainly as his mother jumped back into the kitchen, cooking furiously
as a raven-haired girl emerged from it on cue. Her deep violet eyes gazed at
him in surprise. "I was wondering who auntie was talking to
so I see
that she really DOES have a son. A very horrid one who never calls her or tells
her he's fine."
She gave him a cross look as he responded to it with an amused one. She sighed
and rolled her eyes, "Tell me, Mamoru, what do you do up there all alone?
I would surely detest being all alone in the woods."
"There's a house built there
and I'm not all alone
I have Buns with
me. I would have stayed in the 'woods' if she hadn't convince me to take a time
out from it."
"Buns? You say? What a strange name
is this some girl?" He grinned
at her, as she began to take interest in this. "I must meet her. I mean,
if she was able to convince you to come
"
"Why don't you swing over some time priestess? I mean, it wouldn't be that
big of a deal
but of course, it depends on if you can find it
we all know
you have a horrid sense of directions." He was whacked on the head quickly
by and unknown flying object. He then stared at her as she smiled at him so
innocently, her hands behind her back.
"Don't worry, I'll find my way there I'll see you tomorrow."
* * *
Falling victimized to the game
A cryptic lullaby
Succumbing to an affinity
While the elevation slowly descends
The ticking of the clock
Another second closer to death
Losing faith in those we know
Laughing bitterly at those we don't
Slowly slowly
Days with no end, passes by
As we wait, believing that we're ready
But never truly not
For those words to end this game
The End
* * *
Rei had not appeared the next day or the next. He knew what had happened, and
he couldn't wait to smirk at her for her foolishness. The very place was hidden
from the rest of the world
and to think that Selenity had made her way here
He was puzzled about how she found this place. He had even asked her. She just
smiled at him, caressing the nape of his neck as she told him that it was easy
she followed the trail his heart made. He didn't understand much of that, but
he didn't mind, the idea of him leading her the way made everything have more
of a wonderful aura. It made him love her even more so.
She watched him, looking at the crest of the trees from the top of the steps.
"What are you looking at?" She asked him, her eyes gazing at him intently.
He turned to her with a smile and what appeared to be love within his eyes
she shook her head.
It was not love
it could not be love. Love could not have happen to him at
least not with her as his mate. Her mind rang as she took deep breaths,
uneasiness slid within her.
"Buns, my cousin was suppose to come four days ago
but she hasn't
appeared yet
" he laughed a hearty laugh while she turned pale at his
words. "But I knew she has gotten herself lost
maybe today she'll find
her way."
With that announcement her heart filled with an unknown dread that consumed her
completely. She shook her head, her stomach flip-flopped dangerously.
"Kami
"
"What's wrong?" He asked her, as she shook her head, as her body was
becoming ridged and tense.
"Bunny?" He hovered about her, concern ringing his eyes.
"Your cousin?"
"Yeah, Rei-san
she's the Shinto priestess
"
Her stomach turned even more as she recalled the fiery girl from so long ago,
her brazen wild hair and her fiery eyes. And her intuition of evil and good
dead and living
"Dear God!" She shook her head in denial, his words getting to her.
"A Shinto priestess?" Oh goodness, she knew everything was too good
to be true. She was to be found out she would be forced away. Once Mamoru
knew the truth
she shook her head, this wasn't good.
Hyperventilating, she tightened her hold on Mamoru.
"When is she coming?"
Her grip was painful as he replied back, "Any day, any hour, any minute
now
"
She took another deep breath as she closed her eyes tightly.
"I didn't mean too
everything is crashing down
Oh Kami, why?"
"Bun, tell me what's wrong and I'll right everything for you
please
tell me, you are killing me with this silence!"
Before she could say another word, a voice boomed around.
"Mamoru-kun?"
"Rei!" He responded.
She froze.
"I finally found it then!" The other girl said, as Selenity pushed
Mamoru away from her, and he stared at her puzzled. She nudged him in the
direction of his cousin, and he hesitantly did as motioned. When he had his
back turned, she did the only possible thing that rang in her mind
She ran.
* * *
Rei sensed her though, as her eyes gazed at the disappearing form. Her throat
running dry as her body went into numbness. She shook her head, but she knew
her intuition was correct.
Mamoru cut off her thoughts though, as he smiled at her wondrously.
He smiled at her! All other thoughts disappeared from her mind other than that
fact. Mamoru, the boy that never smiled at anything unless he was completely forced
into it, was smiling at her now!
She took a deep awing breath at the sight.
He looked so perfect with a smile of his face.
"Rei, looks like you finally found the place
took you long enough!"
He said, teasingly, as she rolled her eyes.
"Well, why didn't you tell me that it was hidden
hidden very WELL
I
got lost numerous of times
I was almost even
razed enough into thinking of asking for assistance! Almost of course, not that
I would ever ask
" She said as Mamoru rolled his eyes heavenward. Rei
slapped his arm for that.
"Where's the chit Buns you have been talking about?"
He glared at her. "She's not a *chit*, her name is Selenity
you remember
the girl that lived next door to me? Now that I think about it
you and she
were close, weren't you?"
Everything stopped for Rei at the whole realization of what he had just said.
Her mouth was agape as she let out a horrid gapping noise. Her mind began to
swim with confused thoughts.
What could this mean?
Could she have heard correctly?
But Selenity?
A picture of the smiling silver haired girl from her childhood entered her mind
causing her body to become number. "Where is she now?" She asked in a
hoarse voice, as he raised his eyebrow.
"She's right
" He turned behind him to indicate her position behind
him but she was gone. "
there
"
* * *
There was really no place to go. For if she left
she could never return
she
could never see him again. But to stay, he would find out the truth. The
complete truth of her her stomach began to turn. And then Rei would
"Mamo-chan
"
She couldn't leave him
even if it meant the end of her. She took a deep
breath, and then emerged from the hiding place and walked towards the couple
who looked blindly at the place
she once stood, with a deep breath, she called out his name, saving each
syllable. "Mamochan!"
He then looked to the side and smiled when he saw her.
Rei frowned.
"Bunny! I was wondering where you disappeared off to." He said with a
scold on his face, "Next time don't disappear on me like that! It's very
rude." He directed as she nodded, and then turned his attention towards
Rei, his hand then grabbing onto Selenity, afraid she might disappear again.
Rei looked more perplexed at his motions.
"Rei, this beautiful thing right here is Selenity." He said, with a
grin, as she looked at the priestess who stared at her
and then within her
soul.
Her eyes boring
boring
She took a deep breath, as Rei then reached out her hand to her. She looked at
her in confusion and surprise. "Nani?"
Rei smiled at her slyly, as she said, "I went to the States a month ago
and this was how we would greet others
a handshake instead of a bow. Care to
try?"
Selenity paled, as Mamoru nudged her to do so, dropping his hand from hers. She
bit her lip and stared at Mamoru, uneasiness written all over her.
"Unless there is something you want to tell us
"
She looked at her, pain wringing in her eyes as she reluctantly placed her hand
out, and Rei gave a smirk. Rei reached for her hand
And her hand went through Selenity's.
Mamoru's eyes widened, as Selenity cringed.
"Just as I expected
a spirit."
* * *
Unchained
A destiny never meant to be
We tried so hard
But remembered so little
So now we're here
Unchained
Or maybe chained too much
* * *
Selenity took a step back only to have Rei took a step foreword. "I
remember that summer you died
I attended the ceremony
I placed a Casablanca
flower on your grave
I prayed for your soul to rest in peace
but what are
you doing? You aren't supposed to be here!"
Rei's angry words smacked to her as Mamoru watched the two, astound and in
shock. The magnitude of Rei's words hit him hard in the chest. Selenity had
died
Selenity was dead
he was in love
with a ghost?
"When did she die?" His horse voice asked, as Rei turned her
attention to him, her eyes still violent as she replied back steadily,
"When she was eight
she was turning nine in a week or so
you were gone
that summer
you were at
you were here."
Selenity closed her eyes tightly.
Mamoru's eyes widen greatly.
"How
?" Mamoru asked, his eyes staring at Selenity as a stranger
would to another. She could feel the awkwardness, the fire of that gaze which
caused her to wish she was dead but
she held back a bitter laugh, but she was
already dead.
She took a deep breath, her eyes fluttering open then, the memories flooding in
painfully. "I was waiting for your letter that day," she told him,
accepting the memories yet trying to block them out of her mind at the same
time. "The mailman was late. I already knew that he came at 3 to 2 every
day. But today he was late
and I was waiting
And then a car, a red one, came along
"
Her voice trailed off, as she couldn't help but see the car headed towards her.
It was so fast, and the person panic, and she panicked, but still the car came,
and still she stood there stiffly, unmoving.
She closed her eyes once again, not wanting to remember the pain of lingering.
All she had thought about was him. And how he would be disappointed at her for
breaking her promise of not being able to write him a letter.
"I didn't mean to come here, Rei, I heard your prayers
I heard you
praying for me, hoping my spirit would rest in peace instead of wandering
I
did rest
until I heard Mamoru
" her voice was broken, as she took
another step back.
"He was so lonely, and I wanted to be with him
But I wasn't strong
enough
"He prayed for me more and more
and each time, I grew stronger, wanting
to be with him
and one day, I found out myself here
and I could hear him
I could feel him
the loneliness
so unbearable
"
She shook her head, not wanting to go on.
"Selenity
" Rei's wispy voice called up the silver haired girl's
name. "You have to go
you cannot linger for so long
it's bad for your
soul
reincarnation could be placed back longer
you cannot have that happen
you may fade out of existence." She warned her as Selenity then looked at
Mamoru, her eyes filled with tears.
"But I can't leave him here like this
" She closed her eyes, "I
can't
"
Mamoru reached out for her, as he grabbed onto her, pulling her to him.
Everything she did was for him
everything she did
"Selenity, I wish you
would stay
but it would be selfish, and unreasonable
you would fade away if
you linger
"
She held onto him tightly. "I don't want to leave you," she whispered
to him softly, as she touched his hair, pushing it back from his beautiful eyes.
"I don't want to leave you Mamo-chan."
"Oh Bunny, and I don't want you to leave me either
" he turned to
look at Rei, who stared at him with an incredulous look, as he looked down at
the angel in his arms. "
But this is the way everything must be. Even if I
want it
"
She looked at him and whispered, "I love you."
His heartbeat was harsh as he felt comfort in her words
and pain also. Pain
for the astound knowledge that he was to let her go. "I love you
too."
He leaned towards her, and they shared a kiss, one that he knew that he would
also remember. Always look back to with the knowledge that there was someone
out there in the world that truly did love him, that cared for him. And that
she was once his world
"Remember what you promised me by the waterfall," she told him, as
she pulled away from him. Before she left, she pleaded to him one notation,
"Wish, Mamoru, wish
if you want
something hard enough, you'll get it."
The flickering light was a gentle caress. There was no longer anyone there for
him to hold onto.
Everything inside of him broke.
He broke.
Tears flowed.
"I'm sorry Mamoru, I'm sorry
"
And all he could do was cry.
* * *
Bid farewell to the past
Bid hello the aching
Once a moment
Twice the longing
All the emotions
Leaves me captive
* * *
He stayed lying in his bed for days, like an invalid, his eyes staring up into
space, as his mind stayed on *her*.
Unwanted emotions built up in him, as he asked why?
Why did this happen?
Why?
He went through lists of things that he could have done to prevent her
disappearance If he had not invited Rei to his house, he could have gotten to
stay with her a bit longer
but even Rei said that she would have left sooner
or later
for her very existence would depend on it.
He began to think of ways he could have prevented her death.
If he had not gone to his grandfather's house that summer, leaving her alone to
wait for his letters, she would never have been killed
if the mailman had
came EARLY
he shook his head
everything was horrible. He felt guilt for all
that had happen, and felt a more of guilt for not being able to prevent all
that happened.
He shut his eyes tightly, unable to look into the world.
Everything inside him was broken. His life was tarnished, his heart was
shattered
everything was
He ached with pain and numbness.
Sometimes the pain was so much that he would become numb. All he could do was
recall memories.
Selenity laughing
Selenity smiling
His heart ached.
God, how much he loved Selenity.
He longed to see her again, to touch her, to kiss her, to tell her that he
loved her over and over again until even the gods could not have denied his
desire to be with her. His head was spinning as he recalled her voice.
"Wish
wish
"
How was he able to wish?
How was he able to get her back?
Was there a wishing well where he could drop a coin in and pray for her to
appear before him? If there was he would drop every yen in his possession,
just so he could bring back her lovely smile and her warm embrace
Slowly sitting up, he thought how grand that would be, to be able to wish for
her back
'if you want something hard enough, you'll get it
'
How come he wasn't getting her?
He wanted
he longed for her so much that his mind was senseless and his heart
ached he never received her.
'The dead don't just come back to life
' he told himself, as he
unceremoniously washed up, as he then remembered what he had not done but
wanted to do for the longest while
He wanted to visit her grave.
* * *
He placed roses on her grave. He could tell that no one had visited her grave
for the longest while. Her parents moved away, probably saddened at the fact
that they were force to bury their child under ground it was never suppose to
be that way. No parent is supposed to bury their CHILD
they were always the
ones to die first
they were always the one
He knelt by the gravestone, as he traced her name.
'Selenity
'
He now recalled his mother's tale to him, the explanation to his middle name
Endymion. It turned out that Selenity's mother and his own were pregnant around
the same time. Motoki would often come to his own house and talk to his mother,
and one day she told the beautiful legend of the earth prince and moon
princess. Motoki loved the legend and wanted to name Selenity Endymion, only
Selenity turned out to be a girl, instead of the baby brother he had hoped he
would have. So instead of having him distress, his mother had named him
Endymion and Mamoru. Mamoru for protector, and Endymion for the prince
The name brought a deep aching inside of him.
Selenity and Endymion names that deeply entwined to each other to match the
lovers of the moon and the earth
He closed his eyes, in the bitter aching.
His hand still rested on her grave.
"Selenity, how I wish you were here."
He stood up and walked away.
Numb.
Everything inside him was so numb.
* * *
He returned to work, wanting a distraction from her.
He closed his eyes, as he sat in his office, sipping some coffee. She would be
happy that he was saving people's lives instead of moping over her right now
he forced a smile. Yes, she'll be happy
He felt his pager vibrate as he began looked at it and then left for the
emergency room.
She'd be happy
* * *
He was pushing himself too hard. Everyone told him so. They told him he should
go home and get some rest. He recalled the apartment he had rented out just ten
minutes away. He sighed, as he drove out of the staff parking lot, and into the
dead of the night.
He felt like the dead and wished that he WERE the dead.
If that meant that he could be with her
He shook his head as such foolishness. She would despise him for doing such a
thing. And he wouldn't blame her if she did. For he would be giving up his life
while she lost hers
it wouldn't be fair.
But he couldn't help but long
Oh God, how he longed.
* * *
With his glasses on, his clipboard in his hand, and his long white coat on, he
ventured in the room, as he stared up at his patient, he was surprised at what
he saw. The girl was dark haired, and around the age of ten. She sat folding
paper cranes by the dozens. He watched her, amused.
He checked for her name.
"Hotaru, what are you doing?"
The child looked at him, her eyes dancing in pride at her doings. "I'm
making paper cranes," she told him, in her beautiful voice, "There's
a legend that if you fold a thousand paper cranes, that your wish will come
true
I'm almost done
I have another twenty to go."
"What are you wishing for?" He asked her, as he sat next to her, his
eyebrow arched.
She smiled at him, "I wanna get better."
He looked at her record and cringed at the words. Her health was quickly
failing
and she was only to live another two months with the chemo
"Could you teach me how to make these cranes?" He asked her, as he
smiled, "I can help you."
She nodded vigorously, "I would like that."
* * *
He stared at the results in disbelief.
Her health had turned around
she was getting better!
'There's a legend that if you fold a thousand paper cranes, that your wish will
come true
'
'Wish, Mamoru, wish
'
He took a leave of absence, to fold paper cranes.
* * *
The stars are falling
The night is rising
The dream is seeking
And forever, is the night
* * *
He had problems making the first crane, as it stared at him lopsidedly. He
frowned he was no origami wizard, but at least he put his heart into the
paper folding. With that, he placed the crane into a bottle, as he made a wish
'One - I wish that you were here
'
He took another sheet of paper, and became intent on folding it, as he went
through each step. He was going to fold all thousand of these the best he
could, and all by himself. Selenity would be proud of him!
He popped the second one into the bottle.
'Two - I wish that you were here
'
Yes, he was going to reach a thousand in no time
'Three - I wish that you were here
'
He fell asleep at seven.
* * *
'One hundred and twenty one - I wish that you were here
'
He was worried at the supply of paper he had bought
he was afraid that he
would run out soon
He shook his head
no, he still had another three hundred
to go
he did buy five stacks of the hundred, hoping that he would be able to
make half of it in one day, and the other half the next. He shook his head - it
was impossible! He was always falling asleep or called in for urgent
emergencies at the hospital. Certainly his notice for his 'vacation' meant
nothing.
It was already a week, and he was worried that he wasn't going to be able to
finish the cranes.
'One hundred and thirty eight - I wish that you were here
'
He closed his eyes, but he had to do this. He had to get her back into his
arms. He then reverted his attention back to the crane folding.
'One hundred and thirty nine - I wish that you were here
'
'One hundred and forty - I wish that you were here
'
* * *
'Two hundred and sixty - I wish that you were here
'
'Two hundred and sixty one - I wish that you were here
'
Everyone called him an obsessed man. Crane folding? Wasn't that for kids? They
had teased him, but he paid no heed. He was going to continue this
he was
going to wish for Selenity no matter what!
* * *
'Three hundred and fifteen - I wish that you were here
'
* * *
He had filled another glass container, as he smiled at the other eight that
were filled up with multi-colored cranes. It had been a month since he first
had started, and his fingers had become quite skilled at making the wishing
cranes.
'Five hundred and three - I wish that you were here
'
'Five hundred and four - I wish that you were here
'
'Five hundred and five Oh, Kami, how I wish you were here
'
* * *
His mother slipped in and out of his apartment, leaving food behind, as she
would watch him worriedly. He kept on folding those cranes
what in the world
was he doing with them? She couldn't help but wonder, as she decided to make
some curry for him.
The smell entered his private study, as he folded them.
'Seven hundred and fifty two - I wish that you were here
'
His stomach went into flip-flops as his eyes widened, making him bolt upward
and exit the room
only to find that it was his mother cooking.
Disappointment reeled his eyes.
Curry
he had just thought that she
He closed his eyes tightly.
"Mamoru
"
He looked up at his mother with a curt smile. "It smells wonderful
Okaa-san." He then shrank back in his room.
'Seven hundred and fifty five - I wish that you were here
'
'Seven hundred and fifty six - I wish that you were here
'
'Seven hundred and fifty seven - I wish that you were here making curry for
me
'
* * *
A month went by.
His obsession grew
The numbers also grew
* * *
'Nine hundred and eighty seven - I wish that you were here
'
"I almost have it love
"
'Nine hundred and eighty eight - I wish that you were here
'
He only had five to go
Four
Three
Two
One
He worked on his final one so carefully, as he then made his wish. 'I wish you
were here with me
'
He tightly shut his eyes and then took a deep breath.
He opened his eyes, expecting to see her in front of him
She wasn't.
He cursed.
She didn't appear anytime in the next month.
* * *
Brash kisses of the wind
Dancing around the heart
Love branches from the aching
And the aching is what brought
You to me
* * *
He was bitter and angry.
He was angry with her, for not coming.
He was angry with her because she was still dead.
He shoved these negative thoughts away from his mind, finding himself to be so
exhausted. So many mental strains, so much aching
He needed relaxation, some
place to rest, some place to let go, to forget
'Promise me you'll find someone
to love.' Her voice had asked him, as his stomach arched. She had made him
promise to let her go
to find another one
He shook his head he couldn't do that
'Remember what you promised me
'
He held his hand to his racing heart as he step out of his car, the sight
before him amazed him. A beautiful lake that was brazen with beauty. He tried
to recall the legend of the lake. A jealous girl, that was, fell in love with a
man whom was in love with a water sprite. With love, the two had cast the
jealous girl deep within the lake and went up to the heavens to protect that
lake.
He sighed, as he decided that on this vacation, he would forget about
everything
his mind would only be set in one thing Peace.
Nodding at the idea, he went to check in the hotel, and then hopefully getting
into one of the hot water springs right away. Everything was harder to do than
expected as he felt the pain of missing her inside of him ever so lively
He shook his head, life held no true meaning without her. The warmth of the hot
springs could not stop the shudder of coldness that ran through his body filled
with aches. With an exhausted sigh, he stood up and placed the towel around his
waist, the cold winds cooling him down as his dark hair shadowed the blue of
his eyes
He placed on his slippers, as he numbly walked to his room, working the quirks
out of his legs. He couldn't help but wonder why the world could keep on moving
on. How it could keep in motion at the fact that the only true perfection that
had roamed the earth was
dead?
His heart beat angrily in his chest at such injustice.
She was his angel, trying to save him from pains of the world
He slipped into the covers of his bed as he discarded the towel.
But now who would protect him from him?
He continued to lie in the lonely bed with anguish tugging in his heart.
* * *
They said that time healed a broken heart
They sure as hell hadn't seen his heart yet, for he found the pain more intense
as the day went by. He had stayed at this resort for a month hoping that
peace could enter him
that the emotions within him would stop being such a
bother
He had done all his best to get her back. Hell, he even folded a
thousand cranes. But it didn't do him any good he still was bitter and alone.
Closing his eyes, he felt the sunlight brazing at him from the edges of the
window that was slightly propped open. He groaned at the bright light and
forced himself up from his uneventful slumber.
Rising, he began to dress, hoping that some fresh air could do him some good.
The summer's warmth attempted to penetrate his cold heart, without success.
Not paying attention to where he was walking, he found himself by the lake,
examining the beautiful statue that told of the water sprite and her lover; he
couldn't help but envy the man. He was able to be with the one he loved. He was
able to join her for the rest of eternity, watching the world from the heavens
above.
How he longed that was he and Selenity.
"It's a beautiful legend isn't it?" A voice asked him, as he turned
around, surprised. There stood a girl, but eighteen years of age, looking at
him with wavy blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes
Eyes that mirrored Selenity's.
His took in a deep breath.
"Wouldn't that be wonderful? To join your love for all eternity? Side by
side in the heavens above?" She took another step towards him, as his
breathing became harsher.
"To know that you would never have to part?"
She now stood but an arm length away from him, staring into his breezy blue
orbs.
"I always dreamed of something even stronger than that."
She reached up to touch his cheek.
"A love that could last even after death."
She traced his jawbone.
"A love that even destiny could not end."
She touched his lips.
"A love that God could not part."
Her hand dropped as he continued to remain silent, as her eyes looked down from
his and to her feet.
"I use to have dreams, beautiful dreams of a little boy who promised me
that he'll marry me
" she smiled at the recollection of the dream,
"And then, the boy was no more. Instead, there was a man. A man that had
the love of all the world within his eyes
"
She looked up again, her eyes a haunting blue.
"That man was you."
Finally finding that he could speak, he finally questioned her, "What's
your name?"
"Tsukino Usagi
Tsukino Selenity Usagi
"
Everything inside of him quavered. His eyes looked deep within her eyes to see
himself reflected in them! He then pulled her in his arms as she cried with
happiness on his shoulders.
He looked up at the heavens above.
'Thank you God, thank you for my angel
'
God smiled in return.
* * *