< - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Another World
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Fire
By Lois Fogg
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Chapter Three
Kiss me, Kate
Wednesday evening, after the interminable chemistry lab, became our appointed
day for chemistry and Shakespeare reviews. Well, admittedly there was
considerably more Shakespeare than chemistry, if I had anything to do with it,
but sometimes Amy put her foot down. Since the first day, we used the ice cream
parlor as our designated meeting place. The nights almost always ended in now-
famous debates between Darien and me. Raye had taken to coming down just for
the sake of the entertainment, and the occasional pleasure of reading
Shakespeare with us. I had never thought that I would be grateful to be taking
Chemistry, but I was. If I hadn’t, after all, then I never would have met Amy
and I never would have had these blissful Wednesday evenings with delicious
milkshakes and a gorgeous debating partner. My debates really had become the
subjects of countless emails and every once and a while I caught a jealous
glance from various girls. I was ashamed to admit it, but it made me feel proud
to be the girl he treated differently than all the rest. Even if he never acted
around me like he felt the not-quite-plutonic sensations I felt around him,
what I had was even better—I argued. I had a bond of the mind. Besides, I
wouldn’t want to be just one of his girls. I wished that I could believe he
wasn’t as much of a player as Mina had claimed, but almost every week I heard
of another of his ‘conquests’. The one comfort I had was that he was never with
one girl for long. I knew that he believed in love—The Taming of the Shrew
debate had told me that—it just seemed that he had never found it. I never
talked to him about the subject. In fact, I conspicuously avoided the subject,
afraid of what would happen if I opened that particular Pandora’s box.
One Wednesday in November, I walked into the parlor, for once in my life the
first one to get there. It was practically freezing outside, and I had bundled
up a little excessively. Darien watched with characteristic amusement as I
removed earmuffs, scarf, gloves, hat, and both coats. I plopped into the chair
and sighed expressively.
“Wow, you sure aren’t used to this weather, are you?”
“I’m used to DC. The temperature drops below freezing there and school is
closed for a week.”
Darien laughed. “I know. Remember? I’m from around there too.”
“Oh yes, peach boy, how could I forget?” Darien just smiled and went behind the
counter. He came back and placed my milkshake in front of me. Even though it
was cold outside, I couldn’t resist the lure of a milkshake. To me, they were
the drink for all seasons, although somewhat less appropriate in winter. This
was strange, though, because usually he waited until I came in to make the
milkshake. I looked at him with a surprised smile, and then dove under the
table, where I had dumped all of my stuff.
“What are you doing under there, meatball head?” He asked, looking at my
antics. I was tossing piles of clothing around haphazardly.
“Trying to find my wallet.” I called, voice muffled by various articles of
clothing. I had ceased to get annoyed when he called me that. It was kind of
funny anyway, although my hairstyle was thoroughly impractical during winter.
“Hey, don’t bother.” He said softly, and I looked up at him. “I’ll pay for it”
He interrupted me when I started to protest, feeling a glow suffuse my body. “I
get a discount anyway. And…I want to.” He laughed self-deprecatingly, while I
stared at him in awe from under the table. “You know not to get in my way when
I want something, don’t you?”
I smiled and nodded mechanically.
“Hey, are you going to get out from under there, or what? Your milkshake will
melt.” He left to serve a customer and I crawled slowly from under the table. I
sat down carefully, still in shock over what he had done.
And just like that, I knew that I loved him. I knew that since that very moment
I had seen him two years ago, I had loved him and that I loved him more every
day. It didn’t matter that he called me meatball head, or that he was always
laughing at me. He was gentle, in his own way. And so passionate he made my
head spin. I loved him. The realization was startling, and I held my milkshake
tightly. I could have jumped for joy, or cried, or screamed at him or gone into
hysterics, but I did none of these things. Instead, I sipped quietly and waited
for Mina, Raye and Amy.
A week later Mina was really exceeding herself in tactlessness. It was getting
closer to Christmas, and therefore, to exams, and Amy had forced us to do
nothing but Chemistry during the past few study sessions. I suppose just to let
out some pent up energy, Mina continually said the most obvious things and made
long suggestive winks to both Darien and me. He was simply amused, but I felt
terribly embarrassed. I kept kicking her under the table, but she only winked
at me harder, and made so many insinuations until I thought I might tape her
mouth shut. Amy was no help either. She obviously thought that Mina was doing
the right thing when it came to getting me and Darien together. All they were
doing was embarrassing me. I didn’t want him to know how much I liked him, but
at the rate they were going, there was no way he could avoid knowing. This had
been going on for three hours, and it was practically closing time. I knew,
unfortunately, that that wouldn’t stop them.
“Combustion reactions, huh?” Mina said, lowering her eyelid in that wink I had
come to dread. “I can think of—“ And I couldn’t take any more.
“Darien!” I said, rather too loudly, but it shut Mina up.
“What?” He asked, barely concealing the laughter in his voice.
Well great, I hadn’t really had a plan. I had only wanted to shut them up.
Unfortunately, if I didn’t say something soon, the torture would start again. I
said the first thing that came into my head.
“Will you read with me?” Although the four of us put on performances nearly
every Wednesday, Darien had not once participated. He did, however, seem to
have an entire Shakespeare collection in that back room of his. We almost
always borrowed from it, but he had never expressed any interest in play-acting
with us. He looked at me hard, as if wondering where I was planning on going
with this. I couldn’t have told him—to tell the truth, I was as curious as he
was.
“Sure,” he said finally. “What do you have with you?”
“Titus Andronicus” I said, and he made a gagging noise. Well, I had to agree
with him there. One of Shakespeare’s lesser efforts.
“Taming of the Shrew,” I said, finally, wondering if he would realize why I had
kept that particular play in my bag after all this time. He probably would,
Darien realized everything. I found, to my surprise, that I didn’t care.
“That sounds good,” he said, and went to the back closet to pull it out. The
parlor was more crowded than it usually was, even though it was several minutes
past closing time. As I watched him jump over the counter, I wondered what
would happen tonight. The waves were in my stomach stronger than they had been
for a while, and an odd hush had fallen over our audience. It seemed that they
knew, as well as I, that this would be a crowning glory performance.
“What scene?” I asked him, deliberately letting him decide. I saw the look he
gave me—he knew why I had done that. He accepted the challenge.
“How about right before they attend the wedding, I think it’s act five.” [AN:
this is, for all interested, Act 5, Scene 2, lines 145-156] Of course. When
Darien does something, he does it well. That was easily the most romantic scene
in the book, the scene that could convince even skeptics that Petruchio and
Kate were in love. I took a deep breath. There was no question as to who would
play which part. In fact, it was as if Shakespeare had written them just for
us. We moved to the center of the floor, and all conversation died. Taking a
deep breath, I began.
“Husband, let’s follow to see the end of this ado.” I barely looked at the
book; I had already memorized this scene. Instead I stared in his eyes, trying
to read what lay there.
“First kiss me Kate, and we will.” And he said it just like he always did, with
that subtle mockery that always held something deeper. But, this time, and I
can’t explain how he did it, you knew that he loved her—that he loved me, in
fact. For this blissful moment, every one could tell that he was completely in
love with me.
“What, in the midst of the street?” I said, looking around at everyone around
us. There was a gentle ripple of laughter.
“What, art thou ashamed of me?” He asked, feigning hurt, and yet somehow
conveying that he was genuinely upset at the same time. I couldn’t believe that
Darien had never acted with us before—he was incredible.
“No, sir, God forbid, but ashamed to kiss.” And I looked at him longingly, yet
sheepishly, obviously desiring him, but afraid to show it. He stepped in closer
to me, until we were nearly touching. Neither of us looked at our books; we
were too far gone.
“Why then” He teased, daring me with sidelong glances, “let’s home again. Come,
sirrah, let’s away.”
“Nay, I will give thee a kiss.” I whispered, but everyone could hear me.
Standing on my tiptoes, desperately aware of what I was doing, and yet unable
to stop myself, I kissed him. And the world around me crumbled. We responded
immediately to each other. Like he had said so long ago, fire meeting fire that
only created a bigger one. It was an explosion. My book clattered to the
ground. We reached into one another, my arms convulsively around his body and
his around mine, kissing until we lacked the air to survive. His mouth was
gentle and sweet, his tongue stroking my mouth with practiced precision. My
body felt like it would explode with pent-up pressure. I opened to him
immediately, quickly running out of air, but genuinely unwilling to give up the
pleasure of his touch. I had never loved a man more than I had in that moment,
and I knew I never could again. No one but Darien, after this moment, would
ever satisfy me. I was vaguely aware of the catcalls and hoots in the
background, but we were in our own world, and nothing could intrude.
Reluctantly, his lips left mind, gently, and he placed me back on the ground. I
was not even aware of having been lifted. Darien looked around the room, and in
an instant, it was quiet again.
“Now pray thee love, stay.” I said, in a hoarse whisper of unmasked love.
He took his long-fingered hands and lifted my face to his eyes. “Is this not
well? Come my sweet Kate.” It was no longer a play. It was my reality, and he
was telling me what I had always wanted to hear— that he loved me. “Better once
than never, for never too late.” He kissed me again, to the sound of thunderous
applause. It was over entirely too quickly, and I stared at him with
unadulterated awe. He regained his composure more quickly than I, but I saw his
hands shaking and his ragged breathing. Mechanically I smiled and bowed, and
then collapsed in my seat again, unable to believe what had just happened.
“Go, Serena!” Mina said happily. “I knew you could do it.” I looked at Darien,
who was smiling at me in that way that made my legs turn to Jello. He winked at
me, and then began bellowing for people to get the hell out of there. As the
crowd reluctantly dispersed, several guys patted him chummily on the back and
several girls gave me evil looks. I didn’t care. I had just had my first kiss,
and it had been the most incredible experience of my life.
“You too, girls.” Darien said when we hadn’t left. Exuding disappointment, I
reached under the table to pull out my bag, when I felt his hand on my
shoulder.
“Do you want to go?” He asked frankly, and my mouth felt horribly dry.
“No,” I whispered hoarsely.
“Me neither.” He said, and kissed me again.
We didn’t even notice when Amy, Mina and Raye left, and we were alone together.
He lifted me up, easily, and sat me on the countertop. He kissed me lazily, his
mouth completely encircling mine. My arms were still wrapped around him, like
if I refused to let him go physically, he would never leave me. I did not want
him to leave me. I honestly didn’t know what I would do if he did. It was like
he held my essence in his hands, and if he let me go, I would fall forever. I
kissed him remorselessly, and gasped as he explored other parts of my face, his
lips flitting from my eyelids to my neck. I whispered his name softly—too softly
to hear, but somehow he knew. I sensed his smile and felt my entire body
tremble. I didn’t ever want this to stop. I always wanted to be with him here,
existing completely within him and he within me. I never wanted to have to
leave his arms or even come up for air. All too soon, however, he stopped, and
held me at arm’s length. He seemed about to say something, his eyes totally
unmasked. There was a smile on his face, but it was completely genuine and
without a trace of mockery. My lips remained parted, and I stared at him,
waiting.
But his face regained his mask again and he wrenched violently away from me,
releasing his grip from my shoulders. Not realizing that I had been leaning on
him, I fell off the counter. I saw the floor rushing perilously close to my
head, and I braced myself for impact. And just when I expected the pain to hit,
I felt his arms around me. He lifted me gently, and pulled me to my feet. He
lifted my face, and smiled, but I recognized that his mask was back into place.
What had happened? I wondered with disappointment.
“You know, Serena, you really are a klutz.” He said softly, and kissed me
again. I wanted more—more than I could possibly have—but he stopped again, and
turned abruptly away from me, shutting down the shop.
“You know, Darien.” I said finally, when I had regained my breath and some
semblance of composure. “You really are a sap.”
He looked up from behind the counter, happily accepting the dare in my eyes. “A
sap, am I? Well, we’ll see about that. You go mummify yourself and I’ll show
you how much of a sap I am.”
A grin split my face. “Really? What are you going to do? Something romantic, I
hope?” I fidgeted slightly and clapped my hands. This was too much!
Darien looked at me and then laughed in that deep voice of his that made me
want to jump him. I politely refrained, confident I would have an opportunity
soon. “So *I’m* the sap, huh? You just wait and see.”
Excitedly, I grabbed my sweater, two coats, mittens, gloves, hat, earmuffs and
scarf. Darien laughed again as I waddled to the counter, eager to see what he
had planned.
“Well, are you finished already? Let’s go!” I said, my voice somewhat muffled
by the layers of clothing.
“All right, all right!” He said, looking nearly as eager as I. He went to the
back closet, got out a leather jacket and some gloves.
“Aren’t you going to be too cold?” I said, concerned. “Here, take one of my
jackets.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t get cold easily.” He said, shutting off the lights.
“Well, at least take my scarf.” I insisted, holding it out to him. He paused,
and I didn’t dare look him in the eye. I understood Darien a little now. He
hated to depend on anyone, and hated to be thought in need of anything. He
wanted to appear totally self-sufficient, but he wasn’t, not really. So I
didn’t look in his eyes, and didn’t see the look of indignant pride that I knew
was there. But he must have been touched, somehow, because he took it silently,
and shut off the last light. For a moment we stood together in the dark, and I
dared to look into his eyes. They were eerie in the moonlight, looking like
pools of black water.
“Thank you.” He said finally. My muffled hand held his. I knew how much that
had cost him.
“This is incredible!” I screamed over the wind and the roar of the motorcycle.
My hands were wrapped securely around his waist, as much for the feel of his
body underneath his jacket as for safety. My pigtails soared happily behind me
and I threw my head back and laughed in unadulterated glee. This was the best
day of my life, hands down. I was with the man I loved, riding down a highway
on his motorcycle in the middle of the night to God knows what destination. I
could feel his laughter on my hands, traveling through my body and making me
laugh even harder. We seemed, again, to exist in harmony.
“I love you!” I shouted into his ear, suddenly, without thinking. I could feel
him hold his breath and his sudden tension. He smiled back at me, though, and I
breathed in relief. Not until much later would I realize that his reaction had
been a warning. Although I thought I understood Darien, there was a part of him
that he had closed off to me. It was that part that kept his fire in check,
that part that stopped him from giving me all of himself. He suddenly veered
off the highway and down several backcountry roads.
“Where are we going?” I asked, trusting him absolutely, but curious.
“Just wait.” He called, keeping his eyes on the road.
I could tell that we had been skirting the edge of the shore for a while, and
it seemed like he was inching his way closer to it. Finally, in a place absent
of both houses and lights, he stopped. Taking my hand, we walked for a little
while down a dirt path through the woods on the side of the road.
“Where are we?” I asked, my teeth chattering. Darien smiled.
“Look.” He said, eyeing me speculatively. And I looked. We were on the edge of
a small inlet, rocks on either side and in the water immediately surrounding
made it obvious that it was not a hospitable place to either sailboats or the
tourist industry. It was like a last vestige of the untouched beauty that this
shore must once have held. In the cold, glittering light of stars and moonlight
it looked eerie, like a gate into another world. The waves crashed on the rocks
creating a glittering cascade of pearl foam, slowly trickling back into the
sea. I released the breath I had not realized I had held.
“Darien,” I breathed, my breath crystallizing in the air. “It’s incredible.”
His hand held mine. “I’m glad you like it.”
I came dangerously close to telling him that I loved him again, but something
held me back. After a while, staring in silence, we walked onto the sand,
barely out of reach of the waves.
“Now, Serena,” He said softly, warming my shuddering body with his own by hugging
me from behind. “Look up.”
I wondered if he had planned this from the start. If he had known how to do
everything that would make me fall more in love with him than I already had.
But no, this is Darien, I thought. He made me fall desperately in love with him
just by being himself. So I looked up.
I had never seen so many stars in my life. There are far too many lights in
Georgetown and downtown DC; I’d never had a chance to see the night sky like
this. Of course I had heard about it and read about it in books, but I had
never seen the fully glory of the sky before that night. He hugged me tightly
as I stared, too mesmerized to even speak. It was as if God, in some demented,
wild moment, had sprayed the heavens with pure droplets of beauty. They were crazy
and formless, and beautiful because of it. The moon hung low in the sky,
pregnant. Darien seemed to notice it at the same time I did.
“You remind me of the bunny in the moon.” He whispered into my hair.
“The bunny?” I said, turning my head to look at him. He stared into space,
remembering something painful.
“In Japan, they say there is a bunny in the moon, not a man like Westerners
think.” I was shocked at the way he had said ‘in Japan’ like Japan was his
home. But it wasn’t, was it? I knew he lived near DC. He wasn’t looking at me,
and didn’t notice my confusion.
“Do you see it?” He asked, gesturing towards the moon. I looked up again. At
first I only saw the lips and eyes I had been taught to see. But as he
described the bunny, I began to see it. The floppy ears and hands formed, and
suddenly, there it was—like it had always been there, but just out of reach.
“I do!” I said finally, my voice still quiet but excited. “Yes, that’s what you
are.” He said, musing. “Tsuki no Usagi.”
He spoke the Japanese with a perfect accent.
We lay on the sand, intertwined within one another. Well, as much as was
possible within all the confining layers of clothing I wore. His lips gently
brushed over my hair and face, his arms gripping me tightly.
“Do you know I’ve never brought anyone else here?” He said.
I couldn’t think of an answer. It was possibly the most flattering thing anyone
had said to me. He had let me into his own personal world, one I knew he
guarded jealously. He didn’t seem to need an answer though, and we kissed
again. Something exploded within us during that kiss. It was like the desires
that we both had been suppressing came boiling to the surface. Fire met fire
and we began to strip each other almost simultaneously. Although it was below
freezing, I was burning up inside, attacked by heat from all angles. I had
never been so consumed with passion. It was unavoidable; we could not stop
ourselves any more than a man can stop a train.
Most of my clothes lay strewn around me, and I had gotten rid of Darien’s
jacket and shirt. The scarf he kept, and wrapped it around my head, pulling me
closer to him. Slowly, he unbuttoned my last shirt and bra, freeing my breasts.
My nipples hardened almost immediately, coming into contact with the cold air.
I sucked in my breath, but he caught my mouth with his, and I forgot all about
the cold. My lips trailed down his chest and back up again, exploring places I
had dreamed of for years. We drifted together. I felt as if the sound of the
waves breaking over the rocks was really the sound of me, jumping in and out on
his tide. Except it began to sound more like the roar of a fire, one that only
burned brighter as the wind blew it. Years passed, it seemed, and then mere
seconds. Time was an illusion that burned us, forced us to linger and then
hurry. I abandoned myself to him, entrusted my soul to him. There was no
turning back from this. He would always be a part of my life.
And then, he stopped. We had gone further than I ever had before, clinging to
each other like our only hope, and he stopped. With a wrench that left me
gasping, he released me and pulled away. Tears formed and then crystallized on
my face, as I looked at him. He was on his knees, breathing hard. My heart felt
as if it had been ripped from its rightful place and tossed into my stomach, to
be digested. I could not understand why he had broken away. Was he disgusted
with me? Was I too inexperienced for him? But I had *felt* it, our mutual
passion, our mutual love. Why was he unwilling to give me that? I could not
speak, when I tried to form words, they came out in a shapeless squawk that
sounded more like the cry of a lonely animal. He looked at me, desperation in
his eyes, a little wild. After what seemed like eternity, he gripped the sand convulsively
and then spoke.
“I’m…sorry, Serena. You—you’re not like them. I just…I just can’t do this to
you.” His breathing was labored, and in the moonlight, I saw a tear escape from
his clear eyes, and trickle down his face.
Whispering his name painfully, I crawled nearer, and wiped the tear with my
hand. In a strange gesture, I tasted it. He took my hand in his own, and blue
met blue again with an explosive fire.
“But…kiss me, please?” He said, urgently. “Kiss me, Tsukino Usagi.”
- - -
Hello everyone! Sorry that this wasn't out last week...but I sort of forgot to
bring the story with me last friday to send in for the deadline. Wow, I'm
really happy about the feedback I've gotten for this story. But still...one can
never have too much email! PLEASE EMAIL ME!!! All right, all right, enough of
that. So, on to thanks for those of you who've been really awesome: Rinoa,
Stelka (I really like our emails), Bethany and Serenity Raye (who for some
reason put me on their site as a nominee for best quote of the week. I didn't
win--but mine was definitely *not* the funniest quote up there...I thought it
was wierd I got nominated anyway). Thanks you guys! This 'fic is going to get
steadily darker...we're touching on the PG-13 chapters right about now. Don't worry
though, I am a confirmed sucker for happy endings. ;D So, in honor of my
*favorite* holiday (heavy on the sarcasm), Valentines day, here is an
appropriate poem by one of my favorite poets: Dorothy Parker.
Unfortunate Coincidence
By the time you swear you're his
Shivering and sighing
And he swears his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady make a note of this--
One of you is lying