Once upon a time, in a land not too terribly far from your home, there lived a beautiful maiden named Sarah. Sarah was the bride of a very sweet man named Robin and the mother to a darling little girl named Estee. Together they lived in happiness and love in a pretty house with a garden. Although they were contented in many ways, they all felt something was missing.

One fine spring morning, Sarah discovered a wonderful surprise. She was going to have another baby! The whole family were delighted at the prospect of a new addition. They had many preparations to make. Robin repainted the old crib and Sarah began sewing curtains for the nursery. Estee helped out by doing her chores without complaint, like a good little girl should. The family dreamed of their sweet little bundle of joy. Who would the baby look like. Would she have Robin's strong profile? Would she have Sarah's sparkly eyes? Would she have Estee's ready laughter? It was an exciting time for everyone. The months passed quickly by and the big day drew closer and closer.

Well everyone knows no fairy tale would be complete without a villain. In a neighboring village, there lived an evil witch, who was known in those parts as The Wicked Witch O' Rupt Branes. She was very jealous of this happy family and decided to interrupt their lives in a terrible way. She put a curse on Sarah, when she was alone at home, on the morning of July 26. 1999. Sarah was only 21 weeks pregnant. It was a very evil curse that the witch found in her Bad Majik Spells Book. The name of the curse was PROM . Sarah sent an urgent message to Robin and he hurried home from his employ as the local castle's chef.

Robin hitched the horse to their cart and rushed Sarah to the village sorceress for help. The sorceress (who went by the very auspicious title of Wright Honorable ObMann) told the couple that she couldn't undo the evil curse but, she could cast a good spell of Bedrest, give Sarah a potion called Antibiotics and a tonic called Terbutaline . The sorceress kept Sarah in her tower for many days to make sure that she didn't turn into a toad or some other frightful creature (side effects of curses you know!). She finally sent Sarah home to be with her family once more. Sarah returned to ObMann's tower several times for minor adjustments in the spell, however things were looking up.

The good spell worked for two more weeks, until finally Sarah became very ill. The Wicked Witch o' Rupt Branes was up to no good again. She used all her powers of meanness and Sarah began to have very hurtful tummy pains! Robin hitched up the horse and cart again and off they went to the sorceress' drafty tower. ObMann was very disturbed by this turn of events and spent many hours scouring The Book of Farmacutium. She finally found a spell that she hoped would save Sarah and keep the tiny baby inside for a bit longer...the Magnesulf Spell, that works wonders but, burns terribly inside because it's made of 1000 dragons' breath. The Magnesulf Spell was successful at keeping that wee bairn exactly where she belonged.

Finally, on August 17, 1999, the evil PROM curse took over Sarah's body and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Sarah was only 25 weeks with child! The baby was arriving 15 weeks too early. At 10:40 p.m., the tiniest baby arrived with a cry as soft as a miniature kitten. She weighed 1 pound 8 ounces and was 12 3/4 inches long. The family named her Isobel Lula. When Estee saw Isobel for the first time, she declared her nickname to forevermore be The Bean, because she was the size of the mystical beast known as the Beanie Bear.

The sorceress and her apprentices were so worried about this teeny thumbalina baby, that they worked together to conjure a very powerful fairy godfather to help them. He was known as the Bruce of Neo and he was very potent and wise. He brought the most wonderful fairies with him to be Isobel's protectresses when he couldn't be near. The Neo (as he was called in far less formal circles) had to help the Bean breath with a very special contraption known as a Ventilator . He and his fairies swept the Bean away to their magical land known as NICU , so that they might keep a very close eye on her. They built her a very pretty warm house called an isolette. In the meantime, Sarah was very busy getting well so that she could get back to Robin and Estee and they could all travel to NICU as soon as possible. ObMann was still very angry with the Wicked Witch o' Rupt Branes for all her trickery and so she used all her strength to banish her forever.

Well, the Wicked Witch o' Rupt Branes had a coven of sisters. Each sister was more horrible and scary than the previous one. The sisters were very angry that Rupt had been cast away and wanted to exact revenge. They attacked the little Bean one by one. Their names were NecrotizingEntercolitis , Patent Ductus Arteriosus , Intraventricularhemmorage , Anemia , Jaundice , Clubfeet, Retinopathy o' Prematurity , Apnea , Bradycardia and Bronchopulmonarydysplasia . Each sister tried to take the Bean away with her. The little fairies were constantly floating around the little Bean taking care of her so that she was never left alone to fight the wicked sisters.

The Neo would fight the bad sisters for Bean with mysterious spells with names like Dexamethasone , Biliblankets , Transfusions, Gentamyacin , Indomethacin , Nystatin , Theophylline, Vancomycin and Surfactants . There were other secret spells the Neo used but, this storyteller cannot name them all because they were very especially ancient and secret. After the Neo fought back all the bad sisters, sending them fleeing from the land of NICU, it was time for the Bean to grow and get well so that she could join her anxiously awaiting family in their house with the pretty garden. The Bean needed the help of the ventilator contraption for several weeks until finally the Neo decided to give her a very special magic wand called a Nasal Cannula.

The wand had the special attribute of giving the power of O2 to the Bean and she felt wonderful. She began to eat through a special tube called an NG Tube and had powerful medicinal antidotes given to her through a line called a UAC . The good fairies took that line out eventually and put in another one called a PICC line. She grew more everyday and learned many things in the land of NICU. She learned to eat from a bottle and how to keep her body temperature up all by herself.

Finally on October 24, 1999, the happy homecoming day arrived! The Bean had battled mightily against the forces of evil and with the help of the Neo and his special fairies, she had prevailed. She still had battles to fight because of the spells cast by the coven but, the Neo gave her a special talisman called an Apnea Monitor to protect her. He also assigned other Godfairies to check in on her from time to time. He could do this because he was a godfairy of the highest eschelon and so could order people about. Robin and Sarah came to make the long journey home with the Bean. Estee stayed at home with grandmamma to help prepare the house for Bean's arrival.

At last the family was together. Each member of the little family learned great life lessons about courage, willpower, strength and the power of hope and prayer from the small Bean. They thanked God and all his magical helpers for allowing them to grow together. From that moment on, they joyously celebrated each day because they knew that with the help of love and faith, even the smallest bean can grow to become a beanstalk....and they lived happily ever after.

The End

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