Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

I have witnessed many things in my life. Things that once astonished and frightened me.

When I was a young boy, I recall seeing Cronos at his palace. I remember standing behind a heavy pillar as my father had an audience with him. My father, Ronak, was not yet First Prime, but a mere lieutenant in Cronos' army. Kneeling before him was another Jaffa, a captive from Nirti's army.

The day was hot, the sun bright in the sky. The man knelt before Cronos, his hands bound and his face bruised and bloody, testifying that he had not been captured easily.

I saw Cronos speak to him; interrogate him, his ire growing as the man's answers did not please my God. I remember seeing Cronos' eyes glow, his voice rising in anger, then I watched him raise his hand, the brilliant orange beam streaming from his palm. The Jaffa screamed, writhing in agony, and then slumped to the ground, lifeless.

That was the first time I witnessed the power of a god. The first time I witnessed a goa'uld kill with a mere thought. And it struck me to my core. It fueled my terror on that horrible day when my father was murdered and my mother and I fled for our lives through the chaappai. It haunted my dreams for years as I fought the fear that Cronos would find us and make us suffer as that Jaffa had.

That same fear transformed into worship as I joined Apophis' army and worked my way through the ranks. I believed that he was a god and I worshiped him, letting my adoration cloud my judgment and dim my vision of what I was really witnessing. I pushed away my disgust at my actions, telling myself that a god would only have me doing just acts.

I willingly let death after death stain my soul, because I was doing it for my god, I sacrificed myself for Apophis and did not question the toll it exacted from me.

I was indeed fortunate that Bra'tac opened my eyes and helped me to see the truth. He saved my life and he saved my soul and one day he may save our people.

Even after I began to live among the Tau'ri, I was still in awe of the powers of the gods. They had weapons far different than those I was used to, but they still seemed to be weapons of a god. For who could defeat a god but another deity.

It was O'Neill who explained the difference to me, taking me to a firing range and demonstrating his weapons, weapons he even let me discharge. He and Captain Carter would explain other marvels of the Tau'ri to me, the miracle of electric lights, chilled food cabinets, running water and more. They did not hoard their wonders, using them to intimidate and scare, rather they shared them openly with me, willing to educate me in their use and explain exactly how they worked, although Captain Carter is more skilled in that area than O'Neill.

I began to see that the true way to remove fear is through understanding. As O'Neill would teach me about his weapons, he sought my instruction on my staff weapon, firing it repeatedly, learning its strengths and weaknesses.

I am aware that he reported his findings to his superiors and I am glad of that fact. If the Tau'ri are indeed going to continue exploring the universe, they must understand the risks they will face.

O'Neill has termed my staff a 'weapon of terror' and he is correct. While their guns are capable of inflicting great damage, their scars are the kind that are only seen in the bright light of day, after the dust of battle has cleared and there is time to search for small holes in walls and armor.

Many times in my life I have led raids, our paths illuminated by the fires birthed from staff weapon blasts. A fire, even a small one, inflicts a near paralyzing terror upon its victims. Their terror makes it harder for them to hide from us. They panic and burst from their hiding places, becoming easy prey.

The goa'uld ribbon weapon is not much different. It was created to frighten the masses, to deliver the illusion of godly power to a simple people.

I have seen it used with both seductive gentleness and violent power. I have heard tales that some goa'uld utilize it to woo their lovers, using it to mix pleasure with pain in their immortal quest to eliminate boredom from their long lives.

I have also heard of the odd goa'uld that would use the ribbon weapon upon the battlefield, not to protect himself, but to personally deliver the wrath of a god upon his enemy's soldiers, destroying their morale along with their bodies.

I have experienced the device in my life, once gaining Apophis' ire and I am shamed to admit that I fear it still. I am aware that Apophis sought to punish me and hold me in his thrall, yet that moment is one of many turning points in my life.

It was years later before I fully understood the gift he gave me when he punished me. It was then that I saw through Apophis' lies. For if he were truly a benevolent god, he would not be able to strike down one of his worshippers so easily. A true god would love his children too much to harm them, and Apophis was no true god.

If I possessed any lingering thoughts as to Apophis' godhood, the sight before me would end them.

Although it is close to one of their cities, the SGC is secluded, shielded from outside exposure by tall trees and sturdy fences. In recent months, General Hammond has granted me the privilege of leaving the inner sanctum of the SGC and allowing me to journey to the surface, provided that I remain within the SGC's outer boundaries at all times.

I am aware that I am not the only person to seek the solitude and privacy of the surface. I have noticed small paths worn into the scant vegetation, and have seen the occasional signs of human presence in the foot prints of the familiar Tau'ri boots.

Some individuals come to the surface for recreation, others as part of their duties. The perimeter is patrolled by guards and I have often witnessed team leaders using the secure environment to train their people in the equipment and weapons of the Tau'ri.

Training is what is transpiring before me, but it is not the weapons of the Tau'ri that are being used. Captain Carter is standing alone a few yards away, her left hand extended before her. I can see the dull glitter of the ribbon device she acquired from Kendra's grave wrapped around her wrist. I am aware that she succeeded in making the device work on Cimmeria, yet as far as I know, that was the only time.

I see her tense and frown, obviously trying to make the device work. After several seconds, she lowers her arm and I see her shoulders slump, the defeat obvious in her stance.

A part of me rails at what I'm seeing. It seems wrong to see one of the Tau'ri wielding a goa'uld weapon, especially one reserved for a God. Upon Chulak she would be struck down for daring to even touch the weapon, much less trying to make it work.

But as O'Neill is fond of saying, we are not on Chulak.

She takes a deep breath and raises her hand again, her eyes narrowing in concentration. Her body strains and much to my surprise, the amber jewel in the center of the device bursts into life. I look into her eyes and am not surprised to find them unfocused, her expression distant.

A few seconds later the jewel fades, once again becoming dark and opaque. Her shoulders slump again and she frowns, sitting upon a large rock. It appears that if she is to master the device, it is a skill that will not come easily.

I should retreat and allow her privacy, yet I feel myself drawn forward, moving to stand at her side. She does not look at me, instead studying the device upon her hand. "I can't make it work again," she says, wiggling her fingers slowly.

"Perhaps it is a skill you are not meant to master."

She shakes her head. "I should be able to. Gairwyn said Kendra could use them both."

"Kendra was a host for many years."

"You don't understand, Teal'c," she says, looking at me. "I know how to do this. Jolinar…I remember her using one of these. I remember how it felt, I…there was this rush of power…she had one of these, but it wasn't hers, she took it from someone, like a trophy, she never took it off. She loved the feel of it on her hand, the knowledge that as long as she had it, no one could ever hurt her."

"From whom did she acquire it?" I ask her, curious as to which goa'uld the Tok'ra may have killed.

She shrugs. "I don't know. I mean, I do, but I can't find the name. I've even tried looking through some of Daniel's books but nothing's familiar."

I hold out my hand and she frowns, then places her hand in mine. I trace the metal bands on her fingers, running from the caps on her fingertips to the thin metal ribbon wrapped around her wrist. The center stone is cool and smooth under my fingers, yet the metal is warm, conducting her body's heat.

I can see faint scratches on the metal, a sign that this was not simply adornment, but a tool, a weapon that was used. "Do you remember how this device works?"

"A little," she says. "It uses the naquadah in a person's blood to power it. I think it amplifies emotions, the madder you are the stronger the blast will be."

"Then perhaps you are destined to never master this device," I say, releasing her hand.

"What do you mean?"

"To truly control this device you must hate. And I do not believe you are capable of such an emotion," I tell her, believing my words.

She makes a face and shakes her head. "Somehow I don't think the colonel will accept that as a good excuse."

"Colonel O'Neill has instructed you to learn this device?" I ask her. I had not been made aware that she'd been assigned this task but was under the impression that it was something she did willingly.

"No, I…I thought maybe if I could learn this it would help. The same with the healing device. I mean, think about it, the next time someone's hurt, and Janet can't do anything, maybe I can help."

"Perhaps," I say, not wishing to quash her enthusiasm, yet unable to share it with her. I am aware why she wishes to learn. Through learning comes understanding, and through understanding, acceptance. She is endeavoring to accept who she is and what she has become.

I know that it will give her peace, yet I fear for her.

Jolinar's name is not unfamiliar to me. He once led an army against Apophis and I am aware that he was known for being ruthless. I do not wish to see my teammate affected in the same way. To witness her soul eaten away by the power that she has within her.

I have heard the Tau'ri say that absolute power corrupts absolutely, and what can corrupt worse than the power of a god?

"Come," I say, getting to my feet.

"What?"

"It is time for the midday meal," I tell her, reaching down to take her hand and pull her to her feet.

"It is?" She looks to her watch. "It's only 1100. I can still try-"

"Captain Carter," I interrupt her. "If this device taps the emotions of the user, it is possible that it also draws upon their personal energy. Would you not have more energy after a meal?"

She frowns, then sighs. "Maybe you're right," she agrees.

I lead her back into the SGC, ignoring the faint echoes of guilt in my chest. Perhaps I am wrong to manipulate her this way, but I do not care. I will do what I can to aid her in understanding herself without becoming proficient in this device. The Goa'uld have claimed too many souls for me to assist in another.

<><><><><>

A year later I am reminded of that Colorado morning as I make my way through a throng of confused people. My friends are down here somewhere and they are in danger.

I see a small group of white robed people and I make my way over to them, wondering what could be drawing their attention. I see a flash of pale skin and I push forward, afraid that I shall recognize the features of the person on the ground.

"Teal'c." I hear O'Neill's voice as I identify the corpse as Seth, the object of our mission.

"O'Neill," I acknowledge. "He is dead?"

I cannot help but stare at the body, his limbs awkwardly sticking out of the ground. He looks like a rag doll that had been ruthlessly forced into a corner that is too small to contain it. No Earth weapon did this. It must have been Selmac.

"Sam killed him," Daniel Jackson reports, shattering my perceptions.

I look to O'Neill who nods grimly. "Daniel, why don't you get up top, see if you can do any damage control. I'm gonna stay here, make sure no one tries to do anything with the body. T," he turns to me. "Jacob took a hit. I think Carter went back to him. Why don't you go see if they need a hand."

I nod and turn on my heel, now paying less attention to the people around us, searching for Captain Carter and her father.

I find them a short distance away. Jacob Carter is seated on the ground, his back against the wall. Captain Carter is kneeling by his side, the concern for her parent plain on her face. "I found them," General Carter says as he sees me. "Seth?"

"He is no longer a threat," I tell the man, studying him and Captain Carter closely. The general is drawn, obviously he has been affected by his trials. Captain Carter's face is set, her eyes shadowed. Her shoulders stiffen at my words and somehow I know that she has not yet told her father precisely what her role in Seth's death was.

"We should get you checked out," she says softly to her father. "Make sure nothing is wrong."

"It's nothing Selmac can't fix," he says, moving to get to his feet. I step forward and take one arm as Captain Carter does the other, assisting the man to his feet. He groans softly, arching his back. "Although a long hot bath would feel good right about now," he moans, his hand going to his lower back. "They keep making those rocks harder and harder."

"Dad?" Captain Carter asks.

"I'm fine," he insists. "Stiff and sore, but fine. You worry too much," he chides.

"We need to get you out of here," she says, ignoring his words. She looks to me and I move forward, positioning my self at Jacob Carter's side. Together we assist him through the dwindling throngs of people. We reach the ladder and we step back as General Carter shakes off our hands, stating his intention to remove himself from the tunnels unassisted.
I stand by Captain Carter's side as we watch her father slowly climb up the rungs. "You may find your climb easier with your hands unencumbered," I say softly.

"What?" I look down and she follows my gaze, frowning at the sight of the ribbon weapon still wrapped around her wrist. "Oh yeah," she says. "I forgot."

She starts to take the weapon off, slowly pulling her fingers from the metal caps. "Among the Jaffa, we call that device the Power of the Gods," I tell her. She doesn't respond, her attention focused on extricating her hand from the golden bands. "I have seen it used many times, more than I can count. I regret that I missed witnessing your triumph over Seth."

She looks up to me, her face creased in a frown. "Triumph? That was no triumph. I killed him."

"As he would have you, given the chance."

She shakes her head. "It's not the same, Teal'c."

"Indeed it is not," I agree, catching her attention. "Seth would have murdered you and all his worshippers out of malice and cruelty. Your deep affection for your father gave you the strength to banish the demon and free these people. The Goa'uld are doomed to fail because they cannot see that love is a far more powerful emotion than hatred and fear."

She looks away, not wishing to accept my words. "Sam?" General Carter calls from above. "You coming."

"Yeah," she answers, moving towards the ladder. She climbs up on one rung, then steps down and turns to face me. Wordlessly, she lays her hand on my arm and squeezes it gently, then turns back to the ladder, quickly making her way out of the tunnels.

I can see that I made an error in judgment a year ago. I doubted her, underestimated the strength of her will and heart. I feared that her attempts to gain an understanding of Jolinar would destroy her.

My fears were unfounded.

There is still the potential for corruption within her; it is within all of us. But I am aware that as long as she is surrounded by her friends, she will not fall victim to power's seduction.

~Fin~

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