Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Fire.

Our marriage was born in fire. When I close my eyes I can still see the flames reflecting off her soft face. I can smell the distinctive odor of Baraka oil in the lantern, feel the warmth on my skin. I remember her hands trembling in mine, her palms slightly moist. Her voice soft but strong, when she spoke her vows to me. Her dark eyes glittering in the firelight, hinting at the passion that she kept buried inside.

She revealed that passion to me that night, her voice low and urgent, her movements graceful as we found completion in each other's arms.

She showed that fire again the day Ry'ac was born, as she fought to bring our son into this universe. His birth was long and difficult, yet she never gave up, never stopped fighting. Had she been a weaker woman, they both would have died that day.

Had she been a weaker woman they both would have perished years later as well. I felt great guilt and remorse at leaving them behind when I joined the Tau'ri. Yet I also knew if anyone was up to the challenge, it was Drey'ac. I did her a great wrong that day, still I honestly felt I was protecting her. I had no idea if O'Neill would treat an enemy with compassion or if I was going to my death when I turned on my men and betrayed my 'God'. I was not aware anyone would live to bear word of my betrayal to Apophis. I believed he would regard me as captured, not sholva. I was mistaken. And my family paid the price.

Fire is what eventually took her away from me. The destruction of our home reflected the destruction of our marriage. I know she never forgave me for what I did, how I hurt her and our son. Even after they moved to the Land of Light, I could still see the suffering and mistrust in her eyes, the coldness in her heart. She allowed me to visit them and she welcomed me into her new home, but not into her bed. Ry'ac was all we had left.

I believe that is why she left the Land of Light and sought refuge amongst the rebel Jaffa. I know she had lovers other than Fro'tak, but I can not blame her. Our marriage was now in name only and she is far too passionate a woman to be alone forever. I will not begrudge her any happiness she may have found.

Every warrior has regrets, and I am no exception. I regret that she did not trust me enough to tell me her primta was mature, I regret that I did not get to see her smile one last time, hear her whisper my name, feel her hand in my own. We had our differences, we grew apart, but she was still the mother of my son. She is, was, the one thing that gave me hope during those dark years when I committed atrocity after atrocity all in the name of a false god.

She deserved better than I. She should have had a husband who adored her, waited upon her, fulfilled her every wish. Yet what life granted her was a husband who abandoned her to the whims of a vengeful 'god', a husband who left her alone in her bed more than he was there. A husband who forced her to be both father and mother.

I light the pyre and watch the flames grow, the smoke swirling up into the sky. I see her face in the flickering flames, hear her voice in the crackling and popping of the wood. The fire heats my face and I feel her hands caress my cheek one last time. Somehow, somehow I know that she understands. She forgives me for putting our people before our marriage. She trusts me to finish raising our son.

And that I will do. Our son shall be strong and wise. He shall be a great warrior and when he chooses a wife, he shall not condemn her to the hardships that I set upon his mother. He shall learn from my mistakes and will live a life free of the reign of false gods.

And when he has a son, I shall feed him setak cakes and tell him of Drey'ac of the Cordai Plains. I shall insure that he never forgets, for as long as someone remembers her, she shall never die.

~Fin~

Feedback: sky_diver119@yahoo.com

HOME