tired

Tired
By
Denise

Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Have you ever been tired? I don't just mean the yawning, I'm gonna sleep in on Saturday kind of tired. I
mean the 'boned-numbing, brain freezing level of exhaustion where you can lean against a wall and slide
down to the floor not waking up for days' level of exhaustion.

Or the 'I'm so tired of this I'd rather experience a root canal naked in a blizzard than ever have to go through
it again' level of tired.

Like this whole experimenting on humans bit. Somebody show me the rule book where it says that all
humans are guinea pigs. Yes, my housekeeping sucks from time to time, but I sure as hell ain't from
Guinea.

At first, it didn't bug me that much. So Fraiser would take some samples. No big deal. You should see the
list of things they collected from the Mercury and Gemini astronauts. Everything she did, she had a reason
for it. No harm, no foul, although she does have to learn that bigger isn't always better when it comes to
needles.

At first, there was Teal'c. It made sense in an odd strategic way. I mean, let's face it, he's an alien. Actually
he's an alien in an alien, two for the price of one. They were curious, hell, I was curious. I've been around
the block enough times to know that if we were gonna find their Achilles heel, we had to do a little
studying.

Fortunately, Hammond was the honorable type and between him and me we kept things on the up and up.
Nothing got done to Teal'c that he didn't consent to.

Then came Carter's own personal alien invasion. And again we had to buck the NID to make them keep
their paws off her. Some blood and tissue samples were all they ever got.

During the last few years we've had Nem playing in our heads, Tok'ra Spice with her armbands, Rygar and
his way too big needle. Yes, it was annoying, but oddly enough, you can sorta take it from aliens. No, we
never got a chance to consent, but they're aliens, what do you expect?

There are very few aliens in this universe that I trust. Ok, wait, make that almost none. Jacob, yeah, only
cause if he screwed me he'd be screwing Carter by extension. Teal'c and Bra'tac, except when they're
vouching for a charismatic new leader. Jonas? Yeah, I trust Jonas even if he does smile too much. And the
Asgard? The Asgard I trust. Or I thought I did.

What in the hell does that mean? What's sanctioned? What, they can only play around with an anal probe
but can't clone us? Or is it sanctioned if they manage to get away unnoticed? And how the hell long have
they been futzing with us?

This whole mess pisses me off to no end. Five years. We've known them for FIVE years, we've saved their
little gray butts on numerous occasions, hell, Carter's saved their whole planet and still they treat us like
goddamned lab rats.

Maybe that's what's ticked me off so much about this whole thing. I like the Asgard. Sure, Freyr's a little
stuck up and Heimdall is worse than a four year old on a sugar buzz, but they've always been square with
us. Despite their knack for arrogance, they never purposefully lied to us. I can't even totally blame the
replicators on them; it's easy to get in over your head when you're only four feet tall. I mean how many
times have we gotten hoisted by our own petard?

But now I don't know anymore. Loki did more than just making a mini-me and borrowing a week of my
life, he betrayed me, he betrayed my trust.

I'm tired of this mess. I'm tired of being betrayed. I'm tired of trusting only to have that trust tossed back in
my face. I'm tired of being told that I'm a cynical bastard, only to find out that I'm not paranoid, I'm right.
I'm tired of risking my ass and the asses of my friends, to save someone only to have them stab us in the
back.

Apparently not only are our enemies out to get us, our friends are now. And I think that's the part that hurts
most of all.