Life's Good
By
Denise


Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.


 


I wonder if they'd take it personally if I told them to get the hell out of my living room and go home?

Yeah, probably.

I pointedly ignore their funny looks as I finish off my beer. Yes, I'm drinking a beer. Get over it.

I know they mean well and I shouldn't have been surprised that they showed up on my door step an hour ago, pizzas in hand. We used to do this a lot, not quite living in each other's pockets or anything, but we would keep in contact.

We'd grab dinner on the way home or take turns watching movies, usually doing our best to keep the local Blockbuster Video store in business since we quickly learned that since we usually needed to explain most of a movie to Teal'c, it tended to make us less than popular in the theater.

Then we started to drift apart, slowly, gradually. I don't even know when it all started to happen. At first there were just awkward silences, things left unsaid or undone.

I think Carter was the first. She did it a little after Jolinar, almost like she was too ashamed to be around us so she'd go off and sulk on her own. It didn't take us long to break her of that habit. But it only took ten minutes in Anise's chair from hell to undo two years of hard work. After that whole mess we were so concerned about any sense of impropriety that in an effort to not appear to be more than friends, we forgot that we were friends.

Sometime after that was when Daniel started to drift away too. Teal'c and I are content to just hang and watch TV, you know, the simple things. Daniel always wanted something more. He needed to interact, to talk. He and Carter used to yak during the shows, debating something. Teal'c and I didn't, so I think he got bored and he started to stay away.

Soon it was just Teal'c and I. It was comfortable, but it was sorta lonely. Don't get me wrong, T's a great guy and all but there's only so much silence a man can take.

Still, they wanted to be alone so I respected that. Besides, I'm not naïve enough to think that my company is the most scintillating thing in the universe. They got their lives and it's not part of the SG-1 bylaws that they hang around and cater to a crotchety old colonel.

In hindsight, I wish I'd have realized one universal truth, nothing lasts forever.

I had my first warning when Conrad took Carter. Two days. That son of a bitch had her for two days and we never even knew. Hell, if we'd have been on a week's down time he would have killed her before we even noticed she was missing.

We tried to be better after that. We'd call each other, drop by, and grab a beer on the way home. It was a little rocky at first, we'd gotten so used to being alone it was hard to not be alone. I know Carter was a little edgy in the beginning, not used to hanging with the guys I guess. But I know we didn't have everything to do with her edginess.

She's always been a little sensitive about what the whole Jolinar mess, a little too aware of how she'd been changed. She never said anything, but I think she had an idea just how hard Hammond and I fought to keep her here and not conveniently transferred to Never Never Land.

Just before this whole mess happened, she was just starting to get comfortable with herself. Just starting to trust people again. One greedy billionaire with less morals than a street corner stray shattered that trust. Home was supposed to be safe, and he took that safe haven away from her, from us.

All of a sudden our enemies weren't over dressed critters with glowing eyes; they could be any person we pass on the street. Every panel van became an object of concern, any black sedan parked down the street now warranted a second look.

I ignored that warning. Ignored the fact that it looked like our luck was starting to run out. Ignored the fact that while I could do my best to protect them off world, I couldn't really do a damn thing with them while we were back on Earth. I ignored the little warning that fate was sending my way, that SG-1's days were numbered.

Daniel going glowy brought that point home in a starkly simple way. He died, or ascended, right in front of my eyes. And there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. Even when Conrad took Carter, I could at least look for her. Or when Teal'c got caught in the pattern buffer I could help those that were trying to help him. But I couldn't do a damn thing for Daniel.

In case you haven't figured it out, I don't do useless well.

So I did what I always did. I locked it away, pretended that it didn't matter. And I forced my friends to do the same. And because of that, I nearly got Carter killed. Yes, I know, anyone who'd stayed back with Heimdall would have run into Osiris but still…she hadn't wanted to be there, she'd tried to talk her way out of the mission from the very beginning but I made her go. Just like how I blew her off when she wanted to talk about Daniel. I shoulda realized just how hard it was hitting her, how much she was grieving his loss.

I guess over the years I'd gotten so used to her hiding her feelings that I found it easy to just ignore them when they weren't convenient. I'd gotten so used to dealing with her façade that I forgot just how often she did it and that if I really wanted to know what was going on in her head, I needed to ignore her words and take a peek into those expressive eyes of hers. I should be ashamed that it took a friend's death to make me realize just how callous I'd become.

That dinner at O'Malley's was a turning point, for all of us. The last little bit of that chip slipped off her shoulder, Teal'c finally removed that stick from up his ass and I…maybe I realized that this job isn't the only thing in the world anymore and that respecting their privacy was one thing, neglecting them another, and that if I wanted a fairy tale ending, I needed to go out and get it, not sit there like a stump, waiting for fate to deliver it to me.

The credits roll and my guests start to shift, stretching and yawning, waking up out of their movie stupor. Daniel and Teal'c fight over the car keys while Carter polices the room, taking the debris from our night into the kitchen on its way to the trash can out back.

In a few minutes they're gone and I'm locking the front door grateful that in his effort to reacquaint Daniel with the past year, Teal'c chose Harry Potter instead of Lord of the Rings, despite Carter's insistence that Acorn and Legless made it all worth watching for a sixth time.

I pad back to the bedroom, shucking my clothes as I go. Finally some solitude. Yes, they mean well but geez, I've been unconscious and in a lab for the past week, I'd love to have a little privacy.

I hear the back door open and can't help but grin. I was hoping this would happen. It wasn't something that happened all the time by any stretch of the imagination, but just often enough that I've caught myself lying awake, waiting to hear the tell-tale click of the latch.

She steps quietly up the stairs and I move over, making room in the bed. Without a word, and without turning on the light, she enters the room, quickly shedding her clothes and crawling under the covers. "Ya know, you didn't have to sneak around," I tell her as she makes herself comfortable.

"It's better this way," she says as she snuggles up close.

"If you say so," I agree, definitely not in the mood for a fight.

I feel her relaxing and I follow suit, not crazy about admitting just how much I'd missed having a woman in my life and in my bed.

We fought against this for so long, denying what we'd felt, hiding behind regulations and rules. This was another good thing that came from that long ago dinner, the realization that what good was it to obey the rules, if it meant that you were to forever be unhappy and alone.

We lucked out that Hammond is a closet romantic, giving us his trust and proving that discretion is his middle name.

In a display that reminded me of Sergeant Schultz, he simply declared that he saw nothing, heard nothing and knew nothing…and that he damn well better be my best man-should it ever go that far-or he'd kick my ass from here to San Antonio.

"Yes, I say so," she muttered in her best major's voice. The effect is rather muted by her decidedly drowsy tone. It's been a long day for her and I know she's tired.

She works too hard. Of course, I don't tell her that any more. All it does is make her bristle like it's an insult or something. One of these days she'll slow down. I just hope she doesn't wait so long to stop and smell the roses that they've stopped blooming.

Feeling her relax into a limp weight beside me, I reach down, pulling the covers just a bit tighter. One of these days I really need to thank Tupelo. Yes, at the time that nifty virus of his had sucked, but who woulda thought that an unguarded moment would lead to this?

"Jack, go to sleep," she mutters, snuggling in a big tighter. "Doctor's orders."

Tucking a wayward strand of auburn hair behind her ear I don't respond, simply tightening my arms around her a bit more as I close my eyes.

We've made no promises, no declarations of undying love and no plans beyond Cassie's birthday party, and checking out the local Ren Fest this weekend.

It's not perfect, it's no fairy tale ending, but it is good. Good to have someone to share things with, good to have someone to come home to, good to have someone in my life again.


~Fin~



 


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