Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

The door clangs shut and I am unable to prevent a flinch. I should be ashamed. It is not becoming for the First Prime of Apophis to act in such a cowardly manner.

However, I am not First Prime of Apophis, not any more. I am no longer privy to his plans or a recipient of his boons. I am Sholva, traitor. I am now the most hated thing in Apophis' mind. He loathes me, despises me. I am the bane of his existence, an affront to his honor and pride.

My lord, my former lord, has existed for many generations. And in that time he has gained much knowledge. Some of it pleasant, most of it not. I have watched him torture prisoners before. He seems to gain great enjoyment from the activity. He will be most creative should he gain custody of me.

I may escape his wrath, however. The humans seem most…enthusiastic about retaining their control of me and the information I possess.

After our successful escape from Chulak, I was escorted to what O'Neill termed an infirmary. Once there, I was bade to remove my clothing and be examined. While it is a wise move strategically and something I have often done to prisoners of Apophis, I can not lose the feeling of violation that I have. The warrior in me acknowledges the appropriateness of the action, while my pride chafes at being questioned. I have pledged them my allegiance, what more do they require?

I endured their questions and examinations, finally dressing myself in the clothing they provided. They wear strange apparel, these people from Earth. The material is harsh and stiff, more so than my armor.

They escorted me to this room and have left me here, alone. There is a sleeping platform in the corner and basic toilet facilities. There is also a chair and a table, but nothing more. My barracks in Apophis' palace contained less.

I am alone in here, alone with my thoughts, my fears, my doubts.

What have I done? I saved the slaves, yes. But at what price? About myself, I care little. I resigned myself to my eventual death decades before. But what about my wife and son? What have I done to them? Will they understand? Will they be left alive to understand?
I have abandoned them to suffer the consequences of my actions. Just as my father did to my mother and I years ago.

For decades I cursed him for abandoning us…and now I have done the same. I wish I could talk to O'Neill and ask his permission to return to Chulak and attempt to retrieve Drey'ac and Ry'ac. But I dare not. Thus far, the humans have treated me humanely, but I do not think it will continue.

At any moment I expect the door to open and the interrogation to commence again. And what shall happen when they are finished? I am responsible for the deaths of six of their people. I have seen men die for far, far less. I think that I shall share their fate. That my path shall end here, alone on an alien planet. I wish I could see Drey'ac's face one last time, hold her in my arms and reassure her, explain to her. Beg her forgiveness. I wish I could tell Ry'ac that I am doing this FOR him, because of him. I wish that he would not grow up alone, that I would not die alone.

No. It is better that they are not here. On Chulak they perhaps stand a chance, here I fear they shall have none. Bra'tac, Bra'tac may aid them. He will know why I have done what I did. He knows Apophis' methods, he will help them if he can.

I shall cling to that hope, that somehow Bra'tac is able get them to safety, that they will not pay the price for my decision. They are innocent, there is no blood on their hands.

"Forgive me," I whisper, sinking down on the bed. Let Apophis spare them, I beg, or let their deaths be merciful. All I ask, all I dare ask, is to be allowed to meet them in the afterlife so I can beg their forgiveness for leaving them alone.

~Fin~

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