Jaffa Faux Pas
By
Denise

Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Sam Carter stomped angrily down the halls of the SGC, sending personnel scurrying out of her path. He was soooo going to die. Slowly, painfully…ooh her meager kingdom for a sarcophagus so she could kill him again and again.

The damndable part about it all, she couldn't even be sure he was aware of his crime. But that didn't matter; what mattered was that he had sinned and he was going to pay.

A good looking Lieutenant attempted to talk to her, she strode past him, daggers shooting from her eyes. "Come back when you're a captain," she muttered. Who cares if he's interested and interesting, she couldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole anyway. "Men, men everywhere and all of them bloody untouchable."

Racing to clear the way, Sergeant Siler tripped, hitting Sergeant Davis in the shin with his favorite wrench. She merely stepped gracefully over the prone bodies and continued on her way.

"Gangway!" she yelled at the three marines waiting to step into the just arrived elevator. They prudently stepped aside. Jarheads they may be, but they weren't stupid.

"Absolutely unbelievable," she fumed as the elevator took it's own sweet time traveling to its destination. A rational part of her mind said she should have taken the stairs…but there was too great a risk she'd lose her resolve if she had to delay the confrontation.

The elevator reached its destination with a merry ping and she pushed through the doors before they were fully open.

Evidentially word of her mission had spread, as there were no innocent marines in the corridor, just one slightly anxious looking gray haired colonel.

"So Carter…what's up?" he asked casually, falling into step beside her.

"Go away colonel, this is personal," she said, hastening her stride and taking perverse satisfaction is his muttered curse as he struggled to catch up with her.

"One damn minute Major," he said, risking life and limb by grabbing a hold of her arm. "What the hell is going on?" he demanded, a definite tone of order in his rich voice.

"Jaffa manners, or lack there of…sir," she said, inwardly fuming. Of course he'd take his side, men tended to stick together like the rats they were.

A puzzled look crossed his craggy face. "What exactly has Teal'c done?" he asked, half afraid of the answer. Please god don't let Teal'c have decided to do a little Jell-O wrestling in the mess. Not that.

"Committed a serious breach of security is what he's done," she said through gritted teeth. "And I'm going to go have a little talk with him about it." Her tone promised severe physical retribution.

'Kids,' he thought, always thinking with their fists. "Major," he ordered. "It couldn't have been that bad."

"Don't you start defending him sir. It's about time he learned some manners."

"About…when the hell has he not been totally polite? I mean unless you're Tanith or Apophis or Simmons or that airman….."

"And another thing, why do you automatically think it's me that's over reacting?" she continued her rant.

"Now just a minute…"

"Is something wrong?" Daniel asked, coming upon the pair and not failing to see the tension in the air…then again even Helen Keller could have seen it.

"Everything's fine Daniel, as long as the colonel lets me go," Sam said sweetly.

"Let you go? If I let you go Teal'c's gonna get ripped to shreds."

"Teal'c will be fine, eventually. Junior can save him," she said, twisting her arm from his grasp.

"Exactly what's wrong Sam?" Daniel asked rationally, hurrying to catch up with her. Of course he didn't know if it was to prevent her mission or to get a ringside seat.

"A complete and total lack of respect. A security breach to rival ANY security breach we've ever had. A total betrayal of trust! Do you have any idea how hard it is to get these? Weapons grade naquadah is easier!" she yelled waving the damming evidence in his face.

"Lord Almighty," he whispered as his eyes focused on what was in her hand. Glossy, glittery evidence of a violation of the most sacrosanct item on the base. Something even General Hammond knew was as sacred as if it was the Ark of the Covenant. Teal'c was going to die. Damn, and he was just starting to like him too.

"Come on you two. What the hell's going on?" Jack demanded, catching up with the pair.
His eyes grew wide as he saw what Sam was waving around. "Is that…"

"Absolutely sir," She answered, turning to discover that she was at Teal'c's door. She grasped the doorknob and turned it viciously.

"No holds barred," Daniel whispered to Jack, secretly wishing for a camera.

"D'oh." Was the most eloquent response the colonel could come up with. "I wonder if Bra'tac's got any more Jaffa he can lend us? I've gotten used to having one around," he said, stepping into the room to get a better view.

"Something is amiss?" Teal'c asked calmly, seemingly unflustered by the invasion of his quarters. Sam couldn't miss the evidence of his crime surrounding him, the shiny wrappers layering the floor, illuminated by the golden candlelight. His face was smeared with further evidence of his violation, the substance oddly shiny in the dim illumination. A rich heady scent filled the air, making the two men breathe deep in appreciation.

"Absolutely right something's amiss you greedy, two faced thieving chocoholic!" Sam screamed.

"MY GALAXY BARS!!! YOU ATE ALL OF MY GALAXY BARS YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

~Fin~

The Brits will get this, but a note for the Americans<G>, Galaxy Bar is a brand of chocolate that my beta happened to get me hooked on at Gatecon…which is of course unavailable here. If you're a chocoholic and like rich creamy chocolate bars, give this one a try.

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