Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

"What is this again, Teal'c?" Jonas asked, shooting a wary glance towards a small group of women walking by. All four of them were wearing jumpsuits that were similar in design.

"I believe Ray Coombs called it a convention," Teal'c said aware of the appreciative glances aimed his way. He'd noticed a disportionate number of females in the crowd. Something that he was not accustomed to given the opposite was true at the SGC.

"Really? What are they convening about?"

"Of that I am not certain. It was, however, of great importance to Jay Felger and Ray Coombs that we meet them here and bring them this." The Jaffa held up the large garment bag he'd been instructed to deliver to the Colorado Springs Hilton. Normally it was unusual for him and Jonas to be allowed to leave the SGC unaccompanied, but it was a situation Major Carter termed as desperate measures.

He and Jonas Quinn had been exercising in the gymnasium when their teammate had come hurrying down the hall, herself carrying the garment bag. She had been in the middle of a very important experiment and was unable to leave the facility without risking losing the whole experiment. So she'd asked he and Jonas Quinn to deliver the item to Jay Felger and Ray Coombs in her stead.

Despite the menial nature of her request and the…uniqueness of the people occupying the hotel, Teal'c found himself enjoying the opportunity to get out. Although he had been calling Earth his home for years now, he knew there was much of it he'd never seen, and likely would not see. A part of him understood the reluctance of the SGC to allow him to leave without the accompaniment of one of his Tau'ri teammates, however an equal part of him railed against the insinuation of mistrust. Being allowed out with only the guardianship of the driver and responsible for the behavior of Jonas Quinn was a great honor. It told him that not only did Major Carter trust him to behave appropriately, she also trusted him to insure that Jonas Quinn also acted in a proper manner.

"Ooh. You found it." Teal'c turned to see Ray Coombs hurrying towards them, his robes flapping behind him. He was smiling broadly as he pushed up his glasses. Jay Felger was trailing behind him, his expression far less welcoming.

"Indeed, Doctor Coombs."

Ray Coombs grabbed the bag, unzipping it and peeking inside. "Here you go, Jay. A bet's a bet." He waved towards the public restroom Teal'c and Jonas were standing beside.

Jay rolled his eyes and took the bag from his friend. "Thanks," he said, very insincerely as he frumped and took the bag. He pushed past Jonas and disappeared into the little room.

"He's obviously not in a good mood," Jonas observed.

Ray rubbed his hands together. "He lost a bet," he said gleefully.

Jonas turned to Teal'c for explanation. "It would appear that Doctor Felger wagered upon the outcome of some event and his wager was in error."

"Aah," Jonas said. "So whatever's in the bag is…"

"Is what he has to wear," Ray said raising his hand to push his long hair out of his face.

Jonas frowned and leaned forward. "Doctor Coombs…I…your ears," he finally stuttered out.

"What?" Ray reached up and gingerly fingered the pointed appendages. "Oh, right. I forgot. Aren't they great?" He tilted his head to give Jonas a better look. "I found them online. They're so comfortable I sometimes forget that I have them on."

"For what purpose would you wish to adorn your ears in this manner?" Teal'c asked, trying to recall if Daniel Jackson had ever told him of this particular ritual.

"I'm a Vulcan," he said, taking a step back and twirling. "See?" He held his hand up in a particular salute, his fingers split. Teal'c refrained from informing the man that such a gesture was a vile insult in some parts of the universe.

"I thought you were from Earth," Jonas said.

"What? I am. This is a costume."

"So, you don't normally dress this way when you're off duty?" Jonas asked.

"No. No. I…this is a Star Trek convention. I'm in the costume contest with the rest of Research and Development. But Larry got confined to base last night so he can't participate. Something about a quarantine."

"What's Star Trek?" Jonas asked looking to Teal'c for explanation.

"I believe it is a television program, Jonas Quinn. Chronicling the exploits of people exploring the universe."

"Really? So they're sort of like us? I mean the SGC." Jonas asked.

"Well, now that you mention it…." Coombs started.

"The similarities are few," Teal'c said.

"No, they're not," Coombs insisted. "They have space ships, we have space ships. They have aliens, we have aliens. They go to other planets…"

"We go to other planets," Jonas said, getting into the spirit of things.

"Exactly. They have aliens living on Earth…"

"We do not," Teal'c insisted, giving the two men a warning look.

Coombs opened his mouth to protest, and then his eyes got wide as he realized exactly what they'd been discussing, and where. "Right…of course."

"Ray, this isn't going to work." Teal'c turned to see Jay Felger walking out of the bathroom. "I can't get the head to go on right." The scientist was walking stiffly and Teal'c wasn't sure if it was because of the breastplate he was wearing or because of the leather pants he had on. He wore regulation combat boots with what looked to be large horns on the toes. He was carrying a long wig in his hands, the strands of hair twisted and mangled.

"Well, Larry's got a smaller head than you do," Ray said, pulling the mask from Jay's hands and attempting to straighten the hair. "You'll just have to make due. It's only for a couple of hours."

"Ray, can't I just go like this? I mean, isn't it close enough," Jay begged, stepping back until he was against the wall as Coombs approached him, Klingon head piece in his hands.

"There is no such thing as close enough," Ray insisted, holding the wig up and placing it on Felger's head. "We came in second last year because Larry wouldn't commit himself and go all the way. We're going to win this year. The pride of the SGC is at stake," he said, pulling down on the headpiece with both hands, ignoring Jay's muttered complaints.
Satisfied that the latex skullcap was on as good as it was going to be, Ray took a step back and cocked his head. "You need a dark foundation," he said, "You're too pale."

"Foundation? No. I am not wearing make up." Felger held up his hands, a look of horror barely visible behind the mask. "It's bad enough that I have braids." He motioned towards the braids on his wig.

Teal'c hid a smile at the affronted look on the scientist's face. "Were you aware, Jay Felger, that among many races the length of a male's hair is indicative of his sexual prowess and physical stamina."

Jay's eyes grew wide and a speculative grin split his face. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah. It's actually quite common," Jonas said.

"Mmhm. Well." He reached up and fingered the faux tresses, rubbing the synthetic strands between his fingertips. "Ok. Then." He tossed his head, trying to flip the hair back behind his shoulder. Unfortunately he forgot how close he was standing to the wall and instead he banged his head against the wall. "Ow," he complained, rubbing his bruised crown.

"Jay. Will you stop goofing off? A Klingon does NOT say ow," Ray said reaching into his robes. "We'll be late." He pulled out a thin metal looking bar about two feet in length. "Here, take this." He held the item out to Jay.

"What is it?" Jay held it up to study it closer.

"It's your pain stick."

"My what?"

"Ok, really it's a fly swatter covered in duct tape, security confiscated the real one." He grabbed Jay's arm and pulled him forward. "Come on, we'll get disqualified if we're late."

"Geronimo," Jay muttered under his breath as his friend dragged him into the main conference room.

Teal'c watched them leave then turned back to Jonas, who had a bemused look on his face. "I know I don't get out much, and…do all humans do this in their free time?"

"They do not, Jonas Quinn." Teal'c heard females giggling and turned to see three young ladies walk past them, each clad in scant white costumes and long curly blond wigs. One of them looked back at the pair and winked.

"That's really too bad, Teal'c," Jonas said.

"Indeed, Jonas Quinn, indeed."

~Fin~

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