Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Jack watched Daniel and Teal'c walk through the gate and sighed, really wishing that he was going with them. "Colonel? General Hammond wanted me to remind you that your flight leaves in an hour," Sargent Davis said over his shoulder. "The staff car to take you to Petersen will leave in thirty minutes."

"Thanks," Jack said, turning and leaving the room. He made his way to his quarters and quickly gathered his bags. The medal ceremony was a late afternoon affaire and they were planning to stay the night before returning to Colorado. He retraced his steps and made his way to the general's office.

"Jack. I'll be just a moment," Hammond said, glancing up from his desk.

"Take your time, sir," Jack replied, setting down his bags. "Take all the time you want. In fact, are you sure there's nothing in there to keep us here? I mean, it's probably not a good idea for both of us to leave at the same time."

"Jack…"

"Maybe I should stay behind, keep an eye on things."

"That's enough," the older man ordered. "Colonel, you've made your feelings on this matter very clear."

"Sir. I'm sorry. And you know I mean no disrespect to you but…this sucks."

"You have an objection to getting the Air Medal for saving the planet?"

"I have an objection to who's NOT getting the medal."

"I know it doesn't seem fair but…"

"Sir. She was there too, stood right beside me. Hell, the commander of the shuttle even let her fly it for crying out loud."

"I'm well aware of Captain Carter's contributions but there's nothing we can do."

"General."

"Colonel, as far at the Air Force is concerned, she's AWOL. And AWOL officers don't receive medals from the President."

"Being AWOL wasn't her idea."

"We've been over this. There is no proof that Captain Carter's disappearance wasn't voluntary."

"Carter wouldn't just run off."

"But the snake in her head might have had different ideas. Frankly, Jack, it's far more likely that she snuck out and ran away than the grand conspiracy idea you were thinking up." The long-standing argument was cut short by an alarm going off, signaling an unauthorized gate activation. Jack dashed out into the briefing room and peered through the large windows. He saw a figure hurrying into the room and up the ramp. "What the hell?" Hammond demanded, standing by his side.

"I don't know, sir. I think someone's trying to hihack the gate."

"The hell they are." Hammond hurried down the stairs, followed by Jack. "Do not allow that person to leave," Jack heard him order. "Use deadly force only if necessary, but I want them stopped."

A few seconds later a shot rang out and Jack saw the person fall to the ramp in a crumpled heap. He dashed down the short flight of steps and into the gateroom, squeezing through the opening blast door. He stepped onto the ramp just as the gate snapped shut. Waving off the SF's, he kneeled by the person, gently rolling them over.

"Get medical down here," Hammond ordered.

"Oh my god," Jack said, as the face of the person was revealed. He reached out to check her pulse. Relieved to find one, Jack let the medics push him aside, still staring at the unconscious woman. "She's not AWOL anymore," he said to his commanding officer as the medics loaded Sam Carter onto the gurney."

<><><><><>

"Doc?" Jack asked, looking up as the woman walked into the briefing room. Both he and General Hammond had been busy dealing with the consequences of a base security breech and a previously AWOL captain literally showing up on their doorstep.

"She's alive. And still a host," the woman reported. "The gunshot wound was minor and on a normal human I'd say it'd heal in a couple of weeks." She stopped letting the implication that a goa'ulded person would heal faster sink in. "What concerns me, sirs, is what else I found."

"Doctor?"

"General, Captain Carter's body has scars from three other gunshot wounds, also a large area that appears to be a healed burn. She's malnourished and generally not in very good health."

"What are you trying to say, doc?"

"What I'm saying, colonel, is that she didn't have any of these scars six months ago. She also didn't have these." The woman laid a couple of Polaroid pictures on the table. Jack picked one up and frowned.

"What am I looking at?" He squinted at the close up of an arm, the pale skin at the wrists marred by dull red lines.

"Those are scars, sir. Some older than others. They're consistent with rope burns or some other sort of restraint. There are similar marks on her ankles. Going by the physical evidence, General, my opinion is that the captain has been a prisoner for the last several months. And I would say not treated very nicely either."

George sighed and shook his head. "I wish I could say this was unexpected," he said heavily.

"Sir?"

"Jack. I personally considered the captain's absence an involuntary one. And given how diligently the NID have pursued gaining access to Teal'c, I didn't think it was unlikely for them to be interested in a host. I just couldn't prove anything."

"What are we going to do now?" Janet asked softly.

"Doctor?"

"Sir, if it was the NID that…hurt her, if they know that she's here and that she's still a host, they'll come."

"She's right, General," Jack agreed, silently urging his commanding officer to make the right decision. Although disgusted at the idea that his friend still had a snake in her head, the thought that she had most likely been tortured for the last several months, and faced the prospect of it happening again was making him ill. There were very few people in the universe that he would wish that fate on, and his second in command wasn't one of them.

Hammond sighed and scrubbed his hands over his broad face. "I don't see how we'll be able to keep this a secret. A dozen people know already. However," he said in response to the mutinous looks on their faces. "If you can get me some kind of proof, something to take to the President," he suggested.

"Sir, if the emotional trauma she's been through is anything like the physical trauma, it could take months of therapy before Captain Carter is emotionally able to deal with what happened."

"You better hope not, doctor. Because I don't think we have that long," Hammond said, looking at her pointedly.

<><><><><>

Jack stood beside Janet and stared into the room. The doctor had had the foresight to put Sam in a private room just off to the side of the normal infirmary. His friend was lying on the narrow bed, an IV adorning one arm. Jack could see leather restraints securing her wrists to the bed rails. "Is that really necessary?" he asked Janet.

"She was strong enough to throw you across the room last time," Janet reminded.

"Did they aah, did they do anything else?" he asked, shifting from one foot to the other.

"No. At least not that I can tell. However, if she was assaulted months ago, there wouldn't be much of an indication left. I would presume the symbiote would protect against disease and heal any bruises."

Jack sighed and scratched his head. His eyes caught a bit of movement and he straightened his back. "She's awake," he said quietly.

Janet glanced at her watch. "I didn't expect her to regain consciousness for hours."

"Snakes can shake off sedatives. It took a triple dose to take her down last time," Jack said, remembering when they'd discovered that Sam had been possessed by a goa'uld six months ago. Reaching a decision, he grabbed the doorknob and entered the room shaking off the doctor's restraining hand.

He crossed the room, coming to a stop beside Sam's bed. "Hey, Carter. Nice of you to come back and visit," he said, keeping his voice even and calm. "You know, if you'd have called ahead we'd have baked a cake or something." With her eyes closed, she turned her head, turning her back on him, as much as she could.

Listening to his instinct, he reached down and carefully undid the restraints, gently lifting her wrist free and laying it across her stomach. His friend had always been slight, now he could see how the doc had come up with the diagnosis of malnutrition. He rounded the bed and freed her other arm. "I tell ya what, Carter. I'll make you a deal. No one knows that you're here, and we want to keep it that way. I'm gonna get Ferretti to hang outside the door. You need anything, you ask him and he'll get it for you, anything you want. You're safe here," he assured her. He stood beside her bed for a few more minutes, then turned and left, careful to shut but not lock the door.

"Do you really think that's smart, sir?" Janet asked quietly.

Jack shrugged. "If we want her to trust us, we have to trust her first. We keep her restrained, we're as bad as the people that hurt her."

"And if she tries to break out and go for the gate again?"

"I don't think that's gonna happen," Jack said, nodding towards the window. In the room, Sam had shifted a bit and rolled over on her side, her back to the door.

"How'd you know?"

"That's how she used to sleep off-world," he explained.

<><><><><>

'He seems nicer than last time,' Jolinar said to her host, deadening the nerves to reduce the pain from their latest wound.

'He's just doing his job,' she responded. 'Good cop, bad cop. The NID will be here to get us soon.'

Jolinar winced at the cynicism in her host's 'voice'. That, among other things, had changed in Samantha Carter in the last few months. 'He said they didn't tell them.'

'And you believe him?'

'I've believed all along that they had nothing to do with our…capture.'

'Given the security of this base, you think it was possible for someone to just waltz in, kidnap us and sneak out, without anyone noticing? I didn't know Tok'ra were that naïve.'

'We managed to sneak in,' Jolinar reminded. 'And we nearly made it through the stargate.'

'We should have waited until the colonel and the general were gone. Third shift, it's always the slowest,' Sam said.

'We couldn't wait. You said the guard recognized you.'

'I said I thought he recognized me. There are five hundred people on this base; they can't know every one. It doesn't matter anyway,' Sam said, her 'voice' dejected. 'They'll send us back. It'll start all over.'

'No, it won't,' Jolinar soothed.

'Liar.'

'Sleep,' the symbiote said, sighing internally, giving up the argument. Taking liberties, she manipulated her host's seratonin level, easing her way into a healing slumber. Within minutes, the human was unconscious, leaving the symbiote to think over their situation, unencumbered by her host's dark thoughts.

<><><><><>

Jack sat at a console in the control room, watching the small TV monitor. Sensing a presence he turned, and started to get to his feet. Then general waved him to remain seated. "Any change?"

Jack shook his head. "No, sir. Doc says that she's asleep." He turned back to the monitor, again staring at the woman in the bed. Carter hadn't moved since the first time, still curled up on her side in a relaxed fetal position.

"The two techs she knocked out have agreed not to say anything," the general said quietly. "The same with the nurses and medics. Most of them were here six months ago so they remember her disappearance."

"What about?" Jack tapped the screen.

"Unfortunately, we have a tape machine that isn't working properly. It should take the technicians at least a week to discover and fix the problem," the general said meaningfully. They both stared at the black and white screen for a few minutes then the older man sighed. "Jack, as much as I want to believe otherwise, I doubt we'll be able to keep her presence here a secret for much more than a few days to a week. We never did find the spy last time."

"I know."

"If they come with the proper papers, I won't be able to stop them from taking her with them."

"I know that too."

"I need proof, Jack. Fraiser's reports are good, but not conclusive. If I had Captain Carter's sworn testimony, it would help a lot."

"You're assuming that Carter's still in there. That the snake isn't using her memories to fool us like last time."

"Jack, do you honestly think that?"

Jack sighed. "I don't know."

"Talk to her," Hammond ordered. "See if you can either reason with the goa'uld or get Carter to talk. If she could give me a name, then I'd have some ammunition to at least keep her here until we decide what to do." The general sighed. "I can't believe I'm suggesting this but…maybe you should take her out of here."

"General?" Jack asked, not quite believing what he was hearing. "You're suggesting that I take a goa'uld out of this facility?"

"I'm suggesting that the less people that know, the easier a secret is to keep. Talk to Fraiser, find out if she can be moved."

Jack got to his feet. "Any suggestion where?"

"How can I suggest a location if I don't know what you're doing," he said grimly. "Which is exactly what I'll tell anyone that asks."

<><><><><>

Jack walked into the infirmary; setting down the bag he was carrying. He shook his head at a sleepy looking Ferretti who'd taken up a station outside Sam's door. The man started to stand and Jack motioned for him to remain seated. "Nobody's come, Colonel. Other than the doc," he reported.

"Thanks, Ferretti. I appreciate it." Jack patted the man on his shoulder. "You look beat. Go, get some sleep."

"I'm fine, sir," he protested.

"No," Jack insisted. "You need to go get some rest." He raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

"Oh. Right. I am bushed. I should go and…sleep," the major said, catching on.

Jack smiled encouragingly. He watched the man go, and then walked into Sam's room, closing the door behind him. "Carter?" he called softly, not wanting to startle her.
The figure in the bed stirred and slowly rolled over, blinking sleepily. "Colonel O'Neill. I was hoping you would come." She sat up, wincing as she propped herself up on the pillows.

"Carter?" he asked again, taking a step back.

"My name is Jolinar. I am the symbiote residing in the body of Samantha Carter," she said, her voice resonating slightly.

"Aah. Well. Nice to…meet you," he said, his face wrinkling in a frown. Well, that answered the question about whether or not the snake was still active.

"We did not have much time to speak the last time I was here," she said.

"No. We…didn't. Where's Carter?" he asked, more than a bit taken aback at hearing his friend's voice speaking for some…thing else.

"She is…asleep for lack of a better word." She smiled slightly. "I was hoping to speak to you privately."

"You can do that? Just…block her out?"

"It is not something we normally do, but yes, we can block the host from receiving stimuli. It is something I have become well versed at in recent months," she said.

"What happened?"

"We were incarcerated in your holding cell. Someone came in and shot us with a tranquilizer dart. I do not recall much of what transpired after that. The next fully cognizant thought I had was being in another cell, in the state of…Nevada I believe it is called."

"What about Carter?"

"What about her?"

"What does she remember?"

"She remembers even less than I do. Colonel O'Neill, you have to understand. For several days she fought me, quite admirably I must admit. She only accepted our blending as a defense against the experiments."

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend," Jack muttered.

She quirked her head and frowned. "A curious phrase, but accurate. As the …sessions grew more intense, she began to seek refuge in the oblivion I could offer her."

Jack shook his head. "What?"

"Not only can I block the host from receiving stimuli, I can also block her memories. Her mind still processes events, she witnesses them, however she doesn't remember that she witnesses them. It is not an act we like to do. We prefer to share experiences with our hosts, however, Samantha found our time most trying. I came to believe that her sanity was in danger, so I did what I could to protect her."

Jack thought for a second. "Ok. Not that I'm not grateful for that but…if we have any hope of finding out who did this to you…two, we need to know what happened, from HER."

"Forcing her to remember would likely not have a pleasant outcome," Jolinar said. "It would be best if it were a process that took time."

Jack shook her head. "Time is something we DON'T have. Someone told the NID that you were here six months ago, and it's just a matter of time before they find out again."

"So she is right," Jolinar said softly.

"What?"

"She believes that our return to the facility is unavoidable and that you and your leader will facilitate our return to your NID."

"No. We had nothing to do with it. The NID can't come get you if they can't find you," he said to her puzzled look. "If I get you out of here, will you promise not to run away?" Jack asked, not quite believing what he was proposing.

"Colonel O'Neill?"

"We figure we have hours, maybe days before the NID finds out what's happened. If you're here, you'll be easy to find…"

"And if we are not here we will be harder to find," she finished.

"Yeah."

"You have my word, colonel. We will not try to escape you. However, if a danger presents itself, I will do whatever necessary to protect myself and Samantha," she said, fixing him with a steely gaze.

Jack nodded, accepting her terms. "Ok." He got to his feet and left the room, returning a few seconds later with a sack of items he'd stashed around the corner. "Get dressed. I'm going to have a little chat with Fraiser, then we're leaving."

<><><><><>

Jolinar sat in the passenger's seat of Colonel O'Neill's truck, watching with fascination as the scenery sped by. The planet of the Tau'ri was an interesting one. In some ways they were incredibly advanced, in others horribly primitive. They had a highly developed ground transportation system, yet air travel was limited.

Inside her host railed, furious at her for leaving the SGC and placing her trust in O'Neill. Privately, the Tok'ra was pleased to feel her host's anger. It was the most spirit she'd experienced in months. Her host had been withdrawing more and more, and it concerned her. At first, Samantha had wanted nothing more than for Jolinar to leave her, now she'd become almost totally dependant. At first she'd thought she was doing Samantha a favor by shielding her from the experiments, but now she knew she'd made a mistake. On the surface her host accepted the blending, but in the depths of her mind, she resented her presence. A resentment that would only grow to hatred. The same way her fear and pain had grown into anger towards her former commanders.

"Where are we going?" she asked, startling the colonel a bit. They'd been driving in near silence for an hour or so.

"A friend of Hammond's, he owns a cabin up in the mountains."

'No witnesses. Easier to dispose of the body,' Sam snapped internally. Jolinar had removed her block as they had dressed, informing her host of their plans. The woman had been less than enthused. In fact, she'd been down right livid. Her distrust of her former co-workers had reached an almost pathological level. Something Jolinar knew couldn't continue. She had the advantage of two millennia of experience and objectivity to know that Samantha's friends weren't to blame. She just had to convince her host of that fact.

"You still believe that there is a spy at the SGC?" Jolinar said, more for Sam's benefit than for her own.

"Somebody told the NID about her…you. Somebody circumvented base security. And contrary to what Carter thinks, it wasn't George and I," he said, glancing over. "We were trying to cover it up."

'Yeah, right.'

"I must warn you, colonel. Samantha does not want to be here. When we arrive at the cabin, I will return control to her. She will most likely not be pleasant to be around."

'Stop talking about me like I'm not here. I can hear you, you know.'

Jack grimaced. "Fun. One thing I don't get, why are you doing this?" he asked, turning off the main road.

"Doing what?"

"This. Basically helping me kidnap Carter."

"You said it yourself, Colonel. You need her words to uncover the spy."

'The spy is three feet away from us.'

"When you were caught, you were trying to get off the planet. What do you care if we catch a spy?" he countered.

"What is to say that is my only motivation? The Tau'ri are potential allies, your success against Apophis standing as an example."

Jack shook his head. "That's too easy. There has to be more," he protested, pulling into a short driveway and parking beside a small stone cabin.

"Perhaps," she said mysteriously. "This is it?"

"Yeah. I know it doesn't look like much but…"

'NO! Don't you dare. Don't you leave me alone with him.'

"Then I will say goodbye, Colonel," she interrupted. She relinquished control to her host, ignoring her protests, gratefully slipping back into the recesses of her mind.

<><><><><>

Jack watched as Sam slumped, her arms going out to catch herself. She raised her head and he nearly winced at the naked hate in her eyes. She reached for the door handle, her other hand fumbling for the seat belt release.

"Carter…" he reached out to stop her.

"NO." She shook off his hand. "Don't touch me." She released the seat belt and opened the door, sliding down from the truck's seat. Jack saw her stagger a bit, then start to run back down the road they'd just driven up.

Muttering a few choice curses, he jumped out of the truck, chasing after her. He caught her easily, grabbing one arm to stop her flight. She cried out and staggered, falling to her knees, her free arm clutching at her left side. Jack let go of her arm and stood over her, breathing heavily. "What's wrong?" he asked.

She ignored him, shifting her position on the ground, hunching over as if in pain.
Impatient with her attitude, he knelt down, pulling her hand away from her side. Her palm was smeared with blood. "You tore your stitches, didn't you?" he asked.

"Leave me alone." She pulled her hand from his.

"You're bleeding."

"Jolinar will fix it."

"No. She won't," Jack said. "She's gone, as close to gone as she'll get while still in your head." He pulled her to her feet. "Let's go inside. Fraiser gave me some supplies to change the dressing."

She pulled her arm from his grasp. "I'm fine," she said, breathing heavily.

"Bleed if that's what you want. But you're doing it inside," he said, taking her free arm again, this time holding on tighter. He walked back to the cabin, pulling her behind him.

Digging the key from his pocket, he opened the door and went inside. The cabin was small consisting of a living/dining room/kitchen, two small bedrooms and a tiny bath. It had running water and electricity, but no telephone or TV. The furnishings were simple, and sturdy, two large couches and what looked to be a home made coffee table centered around a stone fireplace. The appliances in the kitchen were old looking, but clean. The refrigerator was small, about five feet tall and the stove was one of those that Jack knew could cook dinner, but lacked the finesse for anything fancy.

Jack led Sam to the couch and gently pushed her down upon the cushions. "Stay," he ordered.

"I'm not staying here," she said, trying to rise.

"Yes, you are, Captain." He accentuated her rank. "Fraiser also sent along some tranquilizers, don't make me use them." He met her gaze, staring until she shook her head and looked away.

Knowing that it wouldn't take her long to recover from losing the battle of wills, he turned, making quick work of bringing in their supplies and clothing.

She stayed curled up on the couch as he put a simple dinner of canned stew to warm on the stove and started a fire in the hearth. From the pinched look on her face, he guessed that her injury had to be hurting her. He went into the kitchen and came back, a packet of pills and a glass of water in his hand. "Here," he said, holding them out. She shook her head, refusing his offer. "It's still bleeding isn't it?" he asked, seeing the dark patch on her gray sweatshirt.

"She'll fix it."

"If you say so. Personally, this isn't my cabin. And I have a funny feeling that Hammond's friend isn't gonna be too happy to come up here and find blood all over his furniture," he said.

She stared at him for a minute, and then slumped, nodding slightly. He reached down and picked up the large first aid kit Fraiser had sent with them. Sitting beside her on the couch, he reached over and pulled up her sweatshirt, revealing a blood soaked bandage. Putting on gloves, he peeled back the bandage, wincing a bit at the sight of torn stitches.

She was lucky, only a couple had come free, something easily fixed with butterfly bandages. It took him a few minutes to finish his task, and by then he could smell the stew bubbling on the stove.

"I think dinner's ready," he said, leaning back so she could pull down her shirt. "And don't tell me you're not hungry. Come on." She frowned. "Unless you like eating with blood all over your hands." She followed him into the kitchen, washing while he served up the stew. He handed her one bowl then led the way back to the living room. She sat down, deliberately staying as far away from him as she could.

She ate slowly and deliberately, occasionally shooting him narrow eyed glances. When she was finished, she set the bowl on the table and got to her feet. She walked down the short hall and he heard the door to the smaller of the two bedrooms shut. Setting down his half eaten bowl of soup he leaned back with a sigh. One thing certainly hadn't changed about his teammate; she was still as stubborn as ever.

Abandoning his dinner, he went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. He didn't trust the snake when she said she was withdrawing, although the fact that Carter's wound still wasn't healed seemed to support that. Torn between trust and distrust, he sought refuge in the one thing that had been a constant for nearly twenty years, carry out his orders and let the rest sort itself out.

<><><><><>

Leering faces, cold voices. Dispassionate hands taking measurements as she shivered. A barren, gray room, the clang of a heavy door. Endless questions, then silence. Hating the sound of his voice, then desperate for it. Bruising hands. The thunderous report of a gun, echoing off the walls, the curious, appraising looks on their faces as they watched her bleed. The sting of needles sliding into her skin, the pain of chemicals burning through her veins.

She was nothing to them, simply a subject. No one would talk to her, only about her. Desperate for conversation, for protection, she turned to the only ally she had, making a fragile peace with the creature in her head.

Two victims formed an alliance, supporting each other through the experiments.

Disassociating from the physical world, one protected the other, allaying her guilt while the other hid. Terrifying experiences became nebulous dreams. Easy to ignore, easy to forget. Until those faint, wispy dreams took solid form, lurking around the edge of the room like a demon. Memories assaulted her, rising up like inexorable floodwaters, impossible to stop, moving too fast to run away from. Swiftly, she was over taken and pulled under, helpless in the deluge.

Drenched in sweat, Sam sat up in bed, her heart pounding in her chest. She gasped for breath, unrealized tears streaming down her face. Horrifying memories filled her brain, catalogued in ruthless detail. Events of the last six months spilled forth. Blurred and hazy images came into focus.

The door crashed open and she screamed, instinctively reaching for the covers. "Carter? You ok?" Speechless, she could only nod. He frowned, lowering the zat he was carrying. "What's wrong?" he asked gently, moving closer to her bed.

"I remember," she whispered. "I remember it all."

<><><><><>

Jack handed Sam a mug of coffee, liberally laced with whisky from the cabinet and took a seat on the other couch. "Thanks," she said, wrapping her hands around the thick mug.

She breathed in the steam, closing her eyes and taking a careful sip. His eyes settled on the ragged red lines ringing her wrists. He had similar scars of his own and knew exactly how hard she'd fought the restraints to get them.

"So…Nevada?" he prompted, sliding his hand into his pocket to turn on the small tape recorder he'd brought along.

Her face fell a bit and she lowered the mug. "Yeah. Although I didn't know for sure until we…left." She took a deep breath. "It wasn't bad, at the beginning. After we woke up, they just asked us questions. Normal interrogation stuff. They wanted to know about the Tok'ra. Jolinar wouldn't talk and I didn't know. That lasted a few days. When they couldn't get tactical information out of us, they settled for something more basic." She looked him in the eyes. "Our cell would get cold. Really, really cold." She shivered in memory. "They didn't ask any questions, just took notes. Then it got hot."

"Testing your tolerances," he said.

She nodded. "Heat, cold, hunger, thirst…all the basics. Then they got creative," she said bitterly. "One morning a guard came in. He shot us." Her hand strayed to her chest and she swallowed. "They just stood there and watched us bleed." Her hands shook as she took another sip of her coffee.

"The burn?"

She nodded. "The same. But, things started to change. It was taking Jolinar longer and longer to heal us. Maybe she was doing it on purpose to slow them down, I don't know. They did drugs next."

"Drugs?"

"Some were narcotics, I think. Others…just made us sick."

"How'd you get out?" Jack asked, trying to keep his voice calm, trying not to show the outrage he felt at his friend's treatment. Things like Carter was describing happened, as he knew all too well. But your tormentors were supposedly to be your enemies, not your comrades in arms, the people you were taught to trust.

She smiled bitterly. "They weren't near as smart as they thought they were." Jack shot her a sharp look. "We played broken," she explained, her voice hinting to him that little acting had been involved. "Eventually they underestimated us. We got out," she said, frowning a bit. "I aah, I think we killed someone," she said softly staring off into the distance.

"What?"

"He tried to stop us. He wasn't going to stop us, no one was going to stop us." Jack stared at his friend, frowning at the haunted look in her eyes. He recognized the note of desperation in her voice, it had once been in his own.

"How'd you get to Colorado?" he asked, breaking her contemplation of the far wall.

"Hitchhike, walk…we even hopped a freight train for a little bit. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get around."

"Why'd you come back?"

"What?"

"If you thought that Hammond and I turned you in, why'd you come to the one place where you'd be recognized? You could have just, disappeared."

"She wants to go home," Sam said.

"Jolinar?"

"That's all she's ever wanted, to go home. And the SGC is the only place to do that."

"They got a gate at Nellis."

"With no power source and no dialing computer. It might as well be a paperweight. The SGC gate was our only chance. I just didn't realize how much General Hammond had beefed up security since we hijacked the gate," she said, making a rueful face.

Jack frowned, a thought occurring to him. "If Jolinar goes home…"

"I'm going with her," she interrupted.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not staying here."

"Your life, your career is here," he argued.

"WAS here. I don't have a career anymore; I don't even have a life. What?" She set her coffee mug down on the table with a heavy thunk. "You think I'm going to stay here and spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder, waiting for the NID to decide it's time for another round? "

"That's not going to happen. Hammond…"

"Hammond couldn't stop it last time, what makes you think he'll have any more luck this time?" She got to her feet. "Jolinar is leaving, and I'm going with her."

Jack jumped up, walking over to her. "Carter, Sam, we can protect you, Hammond can protect you," he promised.

She shook her head. "You can't protect me. None of you can protect me. They'll find me and they'll come and it'll start all over again. Then when they run out of tests, they'll put me on a slab and carve me up and there'll be pieces of me floating in formaldehyde. And then someday when the SGC is declassified, they'll write a paper on me. Biological ramifications of sentient parasitical infestation or something else as catchy."

"I promise you, they won't get you again," Jack said sincerely.

"Don't make promises you can't or won't keep." She turned away, facing out the window. It was totally dark outside, turning the window more into a mirror, reflecting the room behind her.

"When have I broken a promise?" he asked. She ignored him, still pretending to stare out the window. "Sam?" He took her arm and turned her to face him. "When have I broken a promise?" he asked again.

"What happened to no one gets left behind?" she asked.

"What?"

"We…I kept waiting but you never came."

Jack shook his head. "I don't…"

"The NID has been trying to get a hold of Teal'c for years. They almost started an intergalactic war to keep the Tollans and you never once THOUGHT that they might be involved?" she demanded, her voice rising. "It doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure it out."

"We did think that the NID was involved, at least I did."

"Then…"

"We also thought that you might have walked out of there under your own power, which means we couldn't accuse the NID of taking you because if we did that, we'd have to tell them that there was a goa'uld running loose. They didn't know about you, Sam." He grabbed her shoulders, making her face him. "We kept your…condition a secret. To accuse them or to confront them would have only proved their suspicisions. We tried to look for you, but we couldn't let them KNOW that we were looking for you."

Jack's cell phone rang, shattering the stillness of the cabin. They stared at each other for a minute, until Sam looked down and pulled away. "Hadn't you better get that?" She walked across the room, picking up her mug and headed towards the small kitchenette.

Jack sighed and pulled the phone from his pocket, turning off the tape recorder at the same time. "O'Neill?…What? Well how the hell did that happen? Yeah, we'll be right there." He hung up the phone, turning to face Sam. "We need to go back."

"There's a big surprise. Let me guess, my ride is there."

"No," he said, ignoring the bitterness in her voice. "Daniel and Teal'c were visiting Kasuf on Abydos. Ferretti went to go get them, they ran into a goa'uld." He shook his head. "I don't know. Anyway, Ferretti and Teal'c made it back, Daniel's missing. We gotta go."

"Oh my god," she muttered. "Umm…I'll be packed in a minute." She headed back to the bedroom. Jack watched her go, then sighed, running his hands through his short hair. When the hell had it all gotten so complicated?

<><><><><>

"It all happened fast, colonel," Ferretti reported. "We came through the gate, Heru'ur was there. He was arguing with Apophis. There was a firefight, the next thing we knew Heru'ur was dead and Apophis had grabbed Doctor Jackson. They went through the gate," the major said. "I'm sorry, sir. We should have reacted better but…I thought Abydos was safe."

"That's what we all thought," Jack said, absolving the man. "Did you see where they went?"

Ferretti shook his head. "No, sir. They used one of those stun grenades you described. Wouldn't they go to Chulak?"

"No," Sam spoke up for the first time in the briefing. She'd hesitated to do so before, not wanting to draw attention to herself, and the fact that she wasn't supposed to be there. "Apophis has pretty much abandoned Chulak. He keeps a garrison there but he moved his base elsewhere."

"Why would he do that, Captain?" Hammond asked.

"He's been defeated there three times in the past year. It looks bad," Sam said, drawing upon Jolinar's memories. The symbiote had returned from her self-imposed banishment, healing most of the wound on Sam's side. One thing they both agreed on was that Jolinar needed to keep things low key and remain in the background.

"Apophis has many holdings," Teal'c said. "He could have moved to one of several palaces." Although still recovering from his injuries, the Jaffa had insisted upon attending the briefing. And if Sam remembered her friend correctly, he'd insist upon going on the rescue mission as well.

"He's on Vasra," Sam said gaining her sharp looks from the other people around the table.

"How do you know that?" Ferretti asked.

Sam met Jack's gaze and stared at him meaningfully, hoping that he'd get her silent message. "The captain's got her sources," he said. "You got the address to this Vasra?"

Sam nodded. "I do."

"General?"

"I hesitate to send my people into a situation blindly."

"Sir," Sam said. "Vasra is a tiny planet. There should be a squadron of Jaffa and human slaves. He moved there several months ago. It's almost like he didn't want people to know where he way and was trying to be low key," she said. "A small group should have no problem infiltrating the compound and rescuing Daniel."

"Colonel?" Hammond asked. "It's your call."

"Carter says we can do it, we can do it," Jack said, the tone of his voice speaking to his inner battle. Sam knew that he didn't trust her, but also that she had the only lead to finding Daniel.

"We should not tarry," Teal'c said. "The longer we wait, the greater the chances that Apophis will move to another palace."

"We can be ready to go in half an hour," Jack said, seeking the man's permission.

"Very well, you have a go." The older man got to his feet, his actions mimicked by the other people in the room. He turned and went into his office.

"Teal'c?" Jack asked.

"I am capable of going on this mission, O'Neill," the Jaffa interrupted him.

"Ok." Jack nodded.

"I want to go too, sir," Ferretti said.

"Ferretti…"

"Colonel, it was my fault Doctor Jackson was taken…"

"It was Daniel's fault he was taken, it was his idea to go to Abydos in the first place. But, go with Teal'c," he relented. "We leave in half an hour. Carter, a word."

Ferretti and Teal'c left the room and Jack motioned for Sam to step closer. "Is he really on Vasra?"

"Yes. Sir, I wouldn't lie to you, not about this."

"Not three hours ago you were telling me that that snake in your head was going to do anything, ANYTHING to get off world. Now, coincidentally, you just happen to know where Apophis took Daniel?"

"Look, sir. I know how it looks, but Jolinar knows. She's known for months. That was part of the intelligence she was trying to get back to the Tok'ra when her host was killed."

"And when we have him back? Are you going to come back with us?"

Sam broke his gaze and looked out the window at the Stargate below. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I promise you that we'll do whatever we can to get Daniel back." She turned back to face him, her eyes flaring. "You have my word, Colonel," Jolinar said softly.

"Don't make me regret this," Jack threatened, just as softly. "Half an hour, Captain," he said louder.

"Yes, sir," she answered, then turned and left the room.

<><><><><>

Daniel sat with his back against the wall, idly watching the small rodent root around in the hay for something to eat. The small creature was his sole roommate in the cell, a fact he didn't really mind. Surprisingly, they didn't take his watch so he knew exactly how long he'd sat in the depressing room. Twelve hours. That bothered him. Not that he'd been a prisoner for twelve hours, but that no one had attempted to interrogate him.

He didn't really mind that either, he was well versed in goa'uld interrogation techniques and would gladly postpone reliving the experience for a long, long time.

What he did mind was the boredom.

He replayed the events of the last day, trying to figure out where it all went so wrong. He should have went straight back to Earth with Shau'ri. That would have been the smart thing to do. No. No, that would have been a mistake. Not after what happened to Sam. He couldn't do that to his wife. Hell, they didn't even know if Sam was still alive. He couldn't risk the same thing happening to Shau'ri.

Sighing he looked at his watch. Twelve hours and three minutes.

<><><><><>

Jack followed Sam and Teal'c through the underbrush, hearing Ferretti at his side. It was nighttime on Vasra and the planet's heavy foliage blocked what little moonlight the planet had. The weight of the night vision goggles annoyed him, but he knew he'd be even more annoyed if he was fumbling around in the dark.

As soon as they had stepped through the gate, Carter, or rather Jolinar, had taken the lead. So far, their intelligence had proven accurate. They'd met little resistance at the gate and none since they'd entered the forest. Oddly enough, neither Teal'c or Ferretti had voiced any concern about Carter being a host. Teal'c he knew, bought the whole Tok'ra thing.

Ferretti, on the other hand, seemed to simply accept the captain as she was. Of course, the major had yet to see Carter's eyes glow either.

Teal'c held up his hands and the quartet stopped. Jack eased his way forward. "Whatcha got?" he whispered.

"The palace," he pointed out. Jack pulled off his goggles, squinting until his eyes adjusted. Palace was a misnomer, the structure looked more like a decent sized mansion to him. Torches lined the three story tall walls and various lanterns shone out the windows. A large wall surrounded the compound, giving it an air of invincibility.

"There's a passage under the walls," Sam said. "It comes out in the dungeons."

"Are you sure?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Sam nodded.

"OK," Jack said. "You got point."

<><><><><>

The rattle of keys in the door dragged Daniel from his light doze. Fueled by a burst of adrenaline, he got to his feet and backed against the wall. Two Jaffa entered the room and he meekly let them grab his arms and drag him from the cell.

They led him through a maze of corridors, arriving in an ornate throne room. The walls were adorned with rich ruby red curtains while the floor was a cream marble. Four columns supported the vaulted ceiling and numerous torches on iron stands ringed the chamber, filling the room with both warmth and light.

Apophis sat upon a gilded throne and Daniel was dragged forward, thrown predictably to his knees. The Jaffa stayed at his side, holding his arms and preventing him from moving.

"Tau'ri," he drawled, getting to his feet. "Who told you that Amaunet would be on Abydos?"

"No one," Daniel said.

"Where is my child?" he demanded.

"I don't know."

Apophis walked around him, his steps slow. Daniel fought the urge to turn his head and follow the goa'uld's progress. A rough hand grabbed his head, the fingers threading through his hair. His head was pulled painfully back, leaving his throat exposed. "You do know," Apophis insisted. He drew his ribbon-encased fingers across Daniel's exposed jugular vein. "And you will tell me."

"I can't tell you what I don't know," Daniel insisted.

The jewel in the center of Apophis' ribbon device flared into life. "You will tell me," he said confidently. "Or you will die."

<><><><><>

Teal'c led the quartet through the narrow, dank passageways of the dungeon. Just like Captain Carter had said, the tunnel led into a small storeroom at one end of the bank of cells. He had seen similar tunnels in some of Apophis' other holdings. They were originally meant to be a last ditch means of escape for Apophis, but were more commonly used to sneak prostitutes into and out of the dungeons.

The cells were empty, which was consistent with Captain Carter's, or more accurately, Jolinar's, intelligence. He knew that his friend was still blended, even before O'Neill had told him. Part of being a Jaffa was the ability to…feel the presence of other Jaffa and goa'uld. He felt torn in a way. A part of him railed at allying himself with and trusting a goa'uld, the other part was in awe of the fact that he was at the side of a legend come true.
The Tok'ra were often nebulous enemies, something ineffectual goa'uld or Jaffa would blame their failures on. Most goa'uld refused to acknowledge that they existed as an organized fighting force, and so any Jaffa that blamed a failure on the Tok'ra was looked upon with much derision.

Reaching the cell closest to the exit to the dungeon, he paused, allowing O'Neill to come forward. "Daniel?" the man whispered harshly. Receiving no response, he turned on the flashlight attached to the barrel of his gun and shined it around the cell. "No one's home."

"He is probably being interrogated," Sam, or more likely Jolinar, said.

O'Neill nodded grimly and jerked his head, silently ordering Teal'c forward.

<><><><><>

Apophis watched dispassionately as the human gasped, struggling against the overwhelming pain of the ribbon device. Seeing his eyes starting to roll back in his head, he paused, the beam of light fading. "Tell me, Tau'ri, where is my son?"

"Don't…know," he whispered hanging limp in the Jaffa's supporting hands.

"Then I shall return to Abydos and kill every man, woman and child until my son is returned to me," Apophis promised. He raised his hand again, this time to finish the human and stopped as loud bangs filled the room. Reacting with preternatural instincts, he instead armed his personal shield and took a defensive step back.

Before his eyes, his two Jaffa jerked and fell, taking the human with them into one large tangled heap of limbs.

"Hold it right there, pops," a voice called out. He raised his gaze to see three members of the Tau'ri step from behind the pillars.

"Move away from him," the female ordered, her insolent voice grating on his sensibilities.

"Tau'ri, you will die," Apophis promised, reaching for his summoning device.

"I believe it is you that shall die," a deep, familiar voice said as a shaft of pain pierced the back of his neck. Unable to control his body, Apophis fell, his eyes lighting upon the figure of Teal'c standing over him, a blood stained knife in his hand. "For my family," was the last words Apophis heard as he, then his host died.

<><><><><>

Jack stared in amazement as Apophis fell, a victim of Teal'c's knife. "For my family," the Jaffa said before wiping the gore-stained knife off on Apophis' robes and shoving it back into the sheath at his waist.

"Doctor Jackson?" Jack turned to see Ferretti pulling the dead Jaffa off of Daniel. "Daniel. Are you ok?" Ferretti knelt at his side. "He's alive, sir. But we need to get him back."

"Ok. Teal'c, if you're done killing people, can you give Ferretti a hand with Daniel. Let's get out of here before something else happens."

Teal'c stepped over his former master's corpse walking past Sam and Jack. Sam knelt by the corpse and reached for Apophis' hand. Jack watched her efficiently strip the ribbon device off the Goa'uld's hand. "Doing a little shopping," he quipped as she fixed the device on her own hand.

"This is quieter than guns," she said, getting to her feet. "And there's a squadron of Jaffa, less two, between us and the gate."

"O'Neill?" Teal'c and Ferretti had Daniel supported between them, the man's arms over their shoulders.

"Don't make me regret letting you have that thing," Jack warned quietly. "Ok. Let's go," he said, walking past them to the door they'd come in. He quickly checked the corridor and led the way out, Sam bringing up the rear. They made it a few dozen yards when Sam felt a strange feeling creep up her spine.

Jolinar abruptly reasserted herself, spinning Sam and bringing up her left hand, the newly acquired ribbon device flaring into life.

"Stop!" Amaunet ordered, striding down the narrow corridor. Without a word, Jolinar fired off a blast from her ribbon device, sending the goa'uld crashing into the wall.

"Carter! What the hell are you doing?" Jack demanded. Jolinar ignored him, hurrying to Amaunet's side. The goa'uld was struggling to get up. Jolinar held her down with one hand, activating the device again, this time sending a paralyzing beam into the woman's brain. She slumped onto the floor as Jolinar heard Jack step up behind her.

"What are you doing?" he demanded coldly.

Jolinar lowered her arm, reaching down to pull a non-resisting Amaunet to her feet. "Finishing something that was started over a year ago," she said. "She'll only stay tranquilized for an hour or so," Jolinar said. "Her presence should prevent any Jaffa at the gate from firing upon us."

Jack shook his head and growled softly in exasperation. "We're going to have a nice long talk when we get back," he promised. "Let's go," he ordered the rest of the group. They started back towards the dungeon, Jack hoping all along that there were no more surprises in store for them.

<><><><><>

"Doc? How's he doing?" Jack asked, leading Sam, Teal'c and Hammond into the infirmary. Daniel and Shau'ri had been borne off immediately upon arrival and, not surprisingly, the general had insisted upon an immediate briefing. They'd made it back to the gate and Earth meeting only a token resistance. Jack figured that either Jolinar's intelligence had been wrong, or they'd just been lucky.

"Eventually, he'll be fine," the doctor reported, looking down at the chart in her hands. Daniel was lying on the far bed, unconscious and now dressed in a hospital gown. The IV going into the back of his left hand and a garish burn on his forehead was the only indications that he wasn't just snagging a nap.

"Eventually?"

"The weapon caused inflammation of the brain. There's a minor bit of swelling, which accounts for the pain it causes, along with his unconscious state. However the MRI and PET scan both show that there's minimal damage. He was hurt worse when he flew through the gate a few months ago," she reassured them. "Right now he's sedated simply to alleviate the pain. Barring any complications, when he wakes up all he should have is the mother of all hangovers."

"What about Shau'ri?" Teal'c asked.

Janet made a face. "She's a different problem. As soon as she recovered from whatever Captain Carter did to her, the symbiote reasserted total control. It's threatening to kill the host if we don't let them go."

"There's a big surprise," Jack quipped.

"Is there any way to get the goa'uld out of her?" Hammond asked.

Janet shook her head, openly reluctant. "Given the situation with Major Kawalsky, I'm afraid to try. Amaunet has total control of the host, she can kill her in minutes, long before we can perform the extraction procedure."

"There is another way," Jolinar said, Sam's eyes flaring, an act that openly startled Janet. "The Tok'ra know of a paralytic agent that renders the symbiote harmless long enough to kill it."

"Kill it? You don't remove it?"

"Removal is possible, however not here with your limited medical facilities."

"What do you need?" Hammond asked.

"The Tok'ra use a combination of the paralytic agent and a device that removes the myriad of tendrils the symbiote weaves into the host's brain to control it. Without that device, removal of the symbiote will most likely kill the host."

"Do you know of the location of the device?" Teal'c asked.

"The Tok'ra have the only one," Jolinar said. "As you can imagine, knowledge of such a device is not something we advertise."

"Color me suspicious, but I find it a little coincidental that the one thing we want just happens to be on a planet full of folks that just might not like us much," Jack said.

"You believe that I am lying to you? That there is no such device and this is simply a plot to guarantee my return to my people?" Jolinar asked.

Jack shrugged and made a face. "The thought has crossed my mind."

"If Samantha told you of such a device and offered nothing more than her word, would you go?"

"You're not Carter," he insisted.

Sam blinked and dipped her head. "Colonel. She's telling you the truth. It's not a trap. She promises you safe passage. We'll go, get this device and come back," she said.

"Colonel?" Hammond asked.

Clearly torn, Jack looked to Teal'c. "I believe Jolinar is telling us the truth," the Jaffa said.

Jack looked appraisingly at Sam. "You have my word, sir. She's not trying to trick you."

Jack sighed. "Sir, permission to…go meet these Tok'ra," he said.

"Granted. Colonel. You can leave when ready," the general said.

<><><><><>

Sam walked through the gate, a sense of familiarity washing over her as she took in the amber sands of the current Tok'ra base. She felt a sense of contentment and almost giddy happiness fill Jolinar, and by extension, her. 'So this is where you live?' she asked her symbiote, intensely curious. Although they'd been together for months, she'd never inquired into the symbiote's past.

'This is our current base. I have no home world.'

"O'Neill!" She turned to see Teal'c standing over a blackened area, something she had missed in her first curious observance of the world. She walked over to him and stared in horror at the blackened corpse of a Jaffa, half buried in the sand. "He has not been dead more than a day."

'No,' Jolinar begged, her feeling of dread spreading to Sam. 'The rings.' The symbiote took control of Sam's body, running through the heavy sand that dragged at her feet.

"Carter!" she heard Jack yell.

Ignoring him, they surged forward, struggling up a large dune. Reaching the top, she fell to her knees, barely able to comprehend what she was seeing. Instead of soft, rolling dunes, there was only a deep pit, occasionally marred by black scars of weapons fire.

"Damn it, Carter," Jack cursed behind her. "Or whoever the hell is driving. What are you doing running off…oh." He came to a stop at her side, seeing what she saw. "This doesn't look good."

"They have left," Teal'c stated.

"What?"

"The Tok'ra house their bases in tunnels which they collapse when they abandon a planet. Apophis once set me to find these tunnels. I never did. He killed many of my men in punishment," the Jaffa stated.

A small movement caught Sam's eye and she stared, ignoring the conversation of the two men behind her. Struggling to her feet she threw herself down the dune, at times more rolling than walking down the sandy slope. Reaching the figure she again threw herself to her knees, digging frantically at the sand covering him. He was dressed in the familiar garb of the Tok'ra, his light colored clothing obviously saving him from detection by the Jaffa that had attacked the base. Rolling him over she let out a small cry as she recognized his blood-smeared face. "Martouf." She reached out a shaking hand and brushed his curly hair off his forehead. His eyes fluttered open and he gasped. "It's me, it's Jolinar." He didn't answer and she wondered if he understood her. "You hang on. I…we can take you somewhere safe."

A dark shape impinged itself on her vision and she looked up, smiling her thanks as she accepted the canteen proffered by Jack. Supporting the injured man she held it to his mouth, dribbling a little water in. "R…Rosha?"

Sam shook her head. "What happened?"

"Spy," he whispered. "Couldn't get…away."

"It'll be ok. We'll take you back to their planet. You'll be ok," she promised, not seeing the solemn shaking of Teal'c's head.

"Love…you," he whispered, his voice catching.

"Martouf?" Sam called, shaking the man slightly. "No. No." He took one last gasping breath and his eyes flared weakly, then went horribly limp, his head lolling on her arm. "Martouf! Martouf!" she screamed. Overwhelmed by grief, she could only sit in the sand and rock her mate, oblivious to everything around her.

<><><><><>

Teal'c stepped into the cold room, steeling himself against the expected rejection. When the figure sitting by the shrouded table didn't move, he slowly stepped forward. He still fought with his disbelief at having his teammate back. He'd been pleasantly surprised to return to the SGC to discover that she'd come back to them. That surprise had been horribly tempered when Doctor Fraiser had informed him about Captain Carter's treatment over the last several months.

He was disappointed that one aspect of the Tau'ri was no better than the goa'uld they professed to hate. He knew the goa'uld would not hesitate to experiment on or even torture someone for information or knowledge and it seemed the Tau'ri were no better.

"Captain Carter," he said softly, coming to stand at her side. She was still in the fatigues she'd worn on the planet. One hand rested in her lap, the other was fondling Martouf's hair, repeatedly wrapping one curly lock around her finger. Mercifully, Doctor Fraiser or one of her nurses had washed the body, no trace of blood and dirt remained although he knew the sheet was not only shrouding the body, but the grievous wounds that had been fatal for the Tok'ra. "Jolinar?" he asked, hoping to garner a response from the symbiote.

"They were together for so long," she whispered. "Centuries and centuries, even in new hosts they managed to love each other." She turned to look at him, her eyes red and her face pale. "He was why she lived, why she kept us alive. Her life, my life didn't matter, it was all about him. He was everything to her." She stopped playing with his hair and laid her palm against his still cheek. "I've never felt that about anyone. I don't think I ever will."

"Captain Carter…Samantha…"

"Lantash was so different from Martouf, he was brasher, more confident. Martouf was so shy. That's what made him such a good operative. He could slip into the background, be totally unnoticed. Until he smiled. Everyone would notice his smile."

Her right hand shifted in her lap and he looked down, feeling his heart lurch as he caught sight of the metallic black shape of a pistol.

"Go away, Teal'c," she said, her voice flat.

"You do not want to do this," he said, watching as her fingers tightened around the grip.

"You don't know what I want, you don't know me. None of you know me. None of you have ever given a damn."

"That is not true. We care about you greatly."

"Then why the hell didn't you come?" she demanded, getting to her feet, the pistol still in her grasp. "It was easier that way, wasn't it? No more worrying about the 'girl', no more questions. It'll be just the guys, which is how you've always wanted it. I wasn't supposed to come back, was I? I'll just disappear. A couple of forms filled out in triplicate and it'll all be over."

"That is not true. And you know it. You have much left to live for."

She shook her head. "My career is over, my family thinks I'm dead, and I can't tell them where I've been. The colonel looks at me like…like the enemy. You…you distrust everything I say, so does the general. SF's follow me everywhere I go. I'm not welcome here, but I can't leave the base. I…we thought we'd be safe with the Tok'ra but they're gone and I have no idea where to find them. And the one person in the universe who I cared about is dead. A death I might have been able to prevent had they just let me go."
Teal'c listened and realized that the thoughts of the host and symbiote were blending, the despair of one was overwhelming the other.

"No one wants me here, but no one wants to let me leave. This is the best way." She brought the gun up with a trembling hand. "At least the scientists at Area 51 will be happy. They wanted to take a look at my brain."

He watched in horror as her finger tightened on the trigger. Praying he could move fast enough, he lurched forward, grabbing her hand and wrapping his fingers around the gun. He fought her new strength, pushing the muzzle up as she fired, the explosion echoing horribly through the small room.

Wrenching the pistol from her grasp he watched the emotions play across her face before she crumpled, tears streaming down her cheeks. Gently sliding the pistol across the room, he knelt down, pulling her trembling figure into his arms and rocking her gently as she cried.

<><><><><>

Sam tensed for a moment, then allowed herself to relax into his embrace. So long, it had been so long since anyone had touched her with anything more than clinical coldness. He was a warm solid presence and she felt safe and protected for the first time in months. He crooned to her in his native tongue, and for the first time she understood the words, the translation courtesy of Jolinar.

The symbiote had withdrawn, isolating herself, and more importantly her emotions, from her host. Sam had never realized how much the Tok'ra was counting on returning to her home. That had been her plan all along, once she had realized that Sam wasn't a willing host, to go home and find a new one. She was now the one thing she'd spent her entire existence fighting against, a symbiote in an unwilling host. The Tok'ra's self disgust was al almost physical force. The death of her mate being the final event to push her to the breaking point.

"What am I gonna do, Teal'c," Sam asked, remaining in his arms.

"Captain Carter?"

"We've got nowhere to go. Jolinar has no idea where any of the Tok'ra may be, if any of them are still alive, and I doubt General Hammond will let us just go through the gate. Even best case scenario, if we stay here and avoid the NID, I'll have to live here on base, there's no way they'll ever trust me to live in the real world."

"You could perhaps seek refuge on another planet."

She shook her head. "Nasyia was attacked because a goa'uld was looking for me…Jolinar. The same could be true of any other planet we hide on. She can't, I can't let that happen. It's bad enough that Cronos might find out that I'm here." She closed her eyes and listened to his heart, beating against her ear. The regular, low rhythm reassured her and she felt her own heart fall into beat with his.

"I remember hearing many rumors of wide spread Tok'ra infiltration. That often operatives are undercover for many months to years."

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"Then it is very likely that there are many Tok'ra among the ranks of various system lords. Tok'ra whose paths we may very well cross in the future."

"She hadn't thought of that," Sam said, pulling back a bit.

"It is also possible that Amaunet has knowledge of Tok'ra operatives," he said. "Knowledge she may be persuaded to share."

"Oh my God. It'll happen to her, won't it?" she asked, horrified.

"Captain Carter?"

"The NID. They'll come and get her and the same thing that happened to us will happen to her."

"That is likely. However I can see no other possible outcome since the symbiote could not be removed."

She struggled to her feet, wiping her face off on her sleeve. "I need to talk to Janet."

Teal'c also got up, shooting her a concerned look. "Captain Carter."

"The machine we were looking for was just the safest way. There's another, it's…riskier, a lot riskier, but if it works, we can kill Amaunet and leave Shau'ri alive." She turned to
leave, then looked back. "Teal'c, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course."

"I want to take Martouf home. After…this, will you go with me?"

"I would be honored," he said sincerely.

<><><><><>

"You want to do what?" Daniel asked, his voice incredulous.

"There's a poison, it's similar to curare here on Earth. It will kill the symbiote, eventually," Sam said, ignoring Jack and Janet's skeptical looks.

"Why didn't you mention this before?" Hammond asked.

"This way is a lot riskier than the machine we were looking for," Sam said.

"How much riskier?" Janet asked.

Sam closed her eyes and Jolinar came forward. "A symbiote is capable of releasing a fast acting poison into the host's body. This is done as a defensive measure. Even if a symbiote leaves voluntarily, some of its memories remain in the host. The goa'uld see this as a threat. Therefore it is their practice to insure that the host, and the secrets it carries, perishes."

Daniel frowned, then winced as the movement pulled on the burn on his forehead. He'd woken up a few hours ago, while they'd been on the Tok'ra planet and was sitting up in the bed. From the pinched look on his face, his head had to still be hurting him.

"But if it works like curare, won't it paralyze the symbiote before it can release the poison?" Janet asked.

"It all depends upon how desperate the symbiote is. Releasing the poison is a conscious decision, one some symbiotes take faster than others," Jolinar said. "If we can catch the symbiote unaware, it is possible that it will not be able to release the poison before it dies."

"And if it does?" Jack asked.

"Then things depend upon how much poison is released, and how strong the host is," Jolinar explained. "Some are able to fight it off, other succumb. Doctor Jackson, even if she survives, the death of a symbiote can be very traumatic. For more than a year, Shau'ri has been a prisoner in her own body. Her immune system has been suppressed and altered to accept the alien body of Amaunet. If she survives physically, she may not mentally."

"Daniel Jackson, the future of Shau'ri is not a good one if Captain Carter's experience is indicative of the NID's behavior," Teal'c said.

Daniel laid back against the pillows, running his fingers through his hair. "You said you were of the Tok'ra?" he asked Jolinar.

"Yes."

"Tok…Ra…against Ra. You're resistance," he prodded.

"Yes. We have been fighting the ways of the system lords for millennia."

"Then, wouldn't the death of one more goa'uld be a good thing," he countered.

"Daniel, it was her idea to bring Shau'ri back. She could have killed her on the planet," Jack said.

"Can't interrogate her if you kill her," Daniel said petulantly.

"Doctor Jackson, I have fought the goa'uld for many hundred years. It is very doubtful that Shau'ri possesses any knowledge of value to the Tok'ra. My motivation for helping remove Amaunet from Shau'ri stems solely from Samantha who not only wishes to help her, but also wishes to do what she can to prevent Shau'ri from falling into the hands of the NID," Jolinar said.

"If removing a symbiote is possible, why haven't we heard about it before?"

"If the survival of your race depended upon hosts, would you make knowledge of how to remove them easy to attain?" Teal'c said.

Sam nodded her head, signaling that Jolinar was retreating. "Look, Daniel. It's your choice. She is telling the truth."

"What's to stop us from doing the same thing to her? We could make this poison and test it on you," Daniel said, ignoring Jack's frown and Teal'c's glowering look.

Sam cocked her head and frowned. "If that's what it takes," she said. "But you should know, right now Jolinar really doesn't care if she lives or dies, only if I do. And I promise you, Amaunet does not feel the same way about Shau'ri. I'll be in my quarters if you decide. General," she acknowledged, then walked from the room.

<><><><><>

"Now what?" Jack asked, staring at the two people at the far side of the infirmary. Shau'ri was lying in the bed while Daniel sat at her side, holding her hand and speaking to her in a low voice. It had taken him just a couple of hours to agree to the procedure, and only then after Janet and Teal'c had convinced him that Thor's Hammer was a far more traumatic method of extraction. And far more dangerous given that the exit to the labyrinth was several miles from the gate and the advanced medical facilities of the SGC.

"Now we wait," Janet said.

"What about the aah…" Jack made vague gestures towards the back of his neck.

"Shau'ri's body will simply absorb the symbiote."

"Absorb it?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Believe it or not, sir. That's actually safer than surgery, especially given her mental and physical state. And since the symbiote has subverted her immune system, there should be no problems."

Jack shuddered. "It's just…creepy."

Janet looked at her watch and frowned. "Aren't you going to be late, sir?"

"Late for what?"

"Martouf's funeral," she reminded.

"There's a funeral?"

"Yeah. Sam and Teal'c got permission to take him home and bury him there. I thought you knew?"

Jack frowned. "No. I didn't. If you'll excuse me, doc?"

He left the infirmary and quickly made his way to the control room. Carter and Teal'c were working with the techs to secure the stokes basket containing Martouf's body bag onto the FRED. Both of them were dressed in fatigues and apparently ready to go.

Torn between two choices, he watched them for a few minutes. He could just pretend that he got here too late and that he'd missed them. They obviously had Hammond's permission, and the old man hadn't thought that Jack needed to be informed. Or maybe he had been and it was one of those danged memos cluttering his inbox.

Maybe Hammond had charged Teal'c with chaperoning Jolinar, or maybe he didn't care anymore. Maybe she'd finally earned his trust.

Or maybe he should go down there and offer to go along. It was sort of his duty as Carter's CO. and no one should have to bury their mate, husband, essentially alone. Moral support. He could do that.

"Sargent?" he said to Davis.

"Sir?"

"They do not leave until I get back. That's an order."

"Yes, sir."

Satisfied, Jack turned and left the room, hurrying towards his locker.

<><><><><>

Sam looked up from the remote and glanced at her companions. Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill were both walking on the other side of the FRED, talking quietly to each other. She'd been honestly surprised when the colonel had caught up with them in the control room, announcing his intention to go along with them to Mathia, Martouf's home planet. He'd acted a bit odd, like his feelings were hurt that he hadn't been invited. Which seemed strange to her, given how he'd acted in the last few days.

She knew the colonel had little patience for ceremony, and would have even less for a funeral for a person he'd never met, who had the added stigma of being a host.

"How much further?" Jack asked.

"Martouf's village is just through those trees," Sam said, drawing the knowledge from Jolinar. Ever since her breakdown of the previous day, the Tok'ra had kept mainly to herself, occasionally feeding Sam information but not asserting control or engaging in any conversation, the only exception being her conversation with Daniel.

Sam could sense that the symbiote had scared herself, not realizing at the time how close she'd pushed her host to suicide. And that she was purposefully keeping her distance, not wanting to make the same mistake again.

"What kind of a ceremony are we talking about here?" Jack asked.

"It's a cremation, sir. The Tok'ra don't believe in burial, especially given the existence of sarcophagi. The body of both host and symbiote must be totally destroyed. Some people use the energy vortex from the stargate to destroy the bodies. Martouf's people believed in cremation. If it's still standing, they have a ceremonial pyre already built, we'll just need to get some wood."

"If it's still standing?" Jack asked as they cleared the trees. "Oh," he said, coming to a stop.

"The goa'uld Nirti raided this planet nearly fifty years ago," Teal'c said, his face grim at the sight of destroyed homes and abandoned debris. If any of the homes had survived intact, they were not among the ones he could see. Most of them were simply partial walls or tumbled piles of stones, tufts of opportunistic grass and weeds doing their best to reclaim the land. Too many times in his life he had seen this scene. Usually in his memories, the fires still burned and the wounded still begged for water or mercy. "Those that survived, fled through the stargate to another world."

"Or in the case of Martouf, offered to become a host to Lantash," Sam said, moving the FRED forward. "The pyre should be on the other side of town. We can get there, then break for lunch, if that's ok with you, sir?"

"Yeah, whatever," Jack answered, his eyes darting about.

It took them about fifteen minutes to navigate their way through the ghost town and find the pyre. Ironically, the black stained cairn of rocks had survived the bombardment intact. They ate a perfunctory lunch, Sam and Jack set to gathering as much deadfall wood as they could find, while Teal'c used some of the smaller branches to make a rack to place the body upon. The stone pyre was made in such a way to amplify the heat generated by a fire, hopefully making the process as quick as possible. Sam had planned ahead and received permission to bring along some incendiary devices to help make the fire burn hotter.

In a couple of hours, their work was complete and Sam stood back as Jack and Teal'c placed the shrouded body on the pyre. She lit a torch, feeling Jolinar coming forward a bit, although the Tok'ra was still striving to keep her feelings controlled. 'You do it,' Sam encouraged the alien.

'What?'

'He's your husband. You should light the fire.'

'I…'

'I'm not afraid. Jolinar, please. If you don't do this, you're going to regret it,' Sam said.
The Tok'ra reluctantly came forward, controlling Sam although she had her feelings under an iron grip. "Tell ma veriunte schree. Tell ma. Tak mal arik tiak," she said, lowering the torch to the piled kindling. She stood there, feeling the heat build until the first flames started to lick at the white sheet shrouding the body. Then she relinquish control and Sam stepped back, feeling more than seeing O'Neill and Teal'c step forward to stand at her side.

"I regret that I never had the opportunity to know Martouf and Lantash," Teal'c said.

"I think you would have liked him," Sam said. "Martouf anyway."

"What was wrong with Lantash?" Jack asked.

"Lantash was…he could be a bit of an asshole at times. Brusque, opinionated, short tempered. But at the heart of it all, he was totally devoted to stopping the goa'uld."

"Sounds like an interesting guy," Jack answered.

"He was, sir. He was."

<><><><><>

Jack sat on a large log and cast an appraising look at the fire. It had burned down now into the hollow confines of the cairn. He could feel the intense heat radiating against his face and knew that it'd likely burn for hours. Hours that they technically didn't have. The sun was now lowering on the horizon and he figured that they'd have just about enough time to make it to the gate and home before it was totally dark.

"Teal'c?" he asked the Jaffa meditating a few feet away. "We got to get going. Where'd Carter go?"

"Captain Carter expressed an interest in exploring the remains of the village."

Jack got to his feet and walked towards the FRED. The cargo area of the large machine was still loaded with a few boxes, none of which they'd touched for the funeral. At first he'd thought they'd served a ceremonial purpose or something, but obviously not. Bored, he opened one of the boxes, frowning at the sight of a large quantity of MRE's. This was too much food, even if they'd been planning to stay until the fire was out, they wouldn't need this much, he thought, flipping through and counting the plastic sealed packets.

Following his intuition, he opened the other boxes, not surprised to find more food, some medical supplies and other trappings of a camp. Whoever had done the packing had planned for more than a simple funeral.

"Teal'c?" he called. "What's with all the supplies?"

"Perhaps you should ask Captain Carter," Teal'c replied evasively.

"I'm asking you."

"I can not tell you, O'Neill."

"Teal'c. I am ordering you to tell me what the hell's going on," Jack said, his voice rising.

"He can't, sir. Because if he did that, he'd break his promise," Sam said, coming up behind Jack.

"Carter, what the hell are you doing dragging along this many supplies. You know how long it's gonna take us to put them away when we get back?"

"I'm not going back, sir," she said.

'What?'

"Excuse me?" Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw Teal'c get to his feet. "What half baked plot did the two of you cook up?" he asked, stepping back a bit so he could keep an eye on both of them.

'What he said.'

"One that was a lot easier before your conscience got the better of you," she muttered.

"You were not supposed to accompany us, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"You're gonna run away, aren't you?" Jack asked. "Both of you?"

"No," Sam answered. "Just me…us. Colonel, we both know that I don't belong on Earth any more. And there's no way for the SGC to just let me go, not without getting into tons of trouble. I'm too valuable," she spit the word.

'Samantha, what are you doing?' Jolinar asked. 'Earth is your home.'

"However, should Captain Carter and Jolinar betray our trust and escape, the reputation of the SGC would be largely untainted."

"So what? You expect people to believe that Carter overpowered you, Teal'c, and then escaped to parts unknown?" Jack asked.

"Under normal circumstances, a human female, even one of Captain Carter's skill, would not be able to overpower me very easily, however a human blended with a goa'uld would have certain advantages."

"Where are you going to go?" Jack asked, trying a different tact.

"There have to be more of the Tok'ra out there. At any given time, dozens of operatives are on missions. And they'll know how to contact the others. All we have to do is find them."

'You don't know that. They could have been betrayed. There may be none left.'

"So, you're just gonna gatehop, flit from goa'uld base to goa'uld base looking for the one that has the super secret Tok'ra password," Jack said derisively.

"It's for the best, sir. Me going back to Earth puts you and General Hammond into an untenable position. If I escape, you don't have the security risk of a goa'uld on the base, and you don't have the NID's most wanted hiding out in the mountain either. It's the best for everyone," she said.

'Except for you.'

"How about for you?"

"We'll be fine."

'We will?'

"Really? You made some mention once that Jolinar was going to find a new host when she could and leave you."

"That's right."

"So where does that leave YOU?" he asked pointedly. "You can't come home."

'He's right. Your iris will prevent you from ever coming home. They will see this as the ultimate betrayal. You can't do this.'

"There's plenty of friendly planets out there. I'm sure one of them won't mind taking me in," she said.

"What about your family? Have you thought about what this will do to them?"

'I didn't know you had a family.'

"Tell me the truth, sir. Has my brother or my dad come looking for me? No. They haven't. That's because we're not what you'd call close. I think General Hammond talks to my dad more than I do. I've been gone for six months, I'll be declared MIA, the Air Force will cook up some story and eventually they'll declare me dead. A nice memorial service with an empty casket. End of story."

"And the supplies?"

"Those were my idea, O'Neill. Captain Carter believed she could forage, I had a more realistic picture of the devastation of this planet."

"She's not just coercing you into helping her, you're actually conspiring with her?"

"I conspired with Captain Carter and Jolinar as a reparation for my failures in the past. Had I…we been more vigilant, she would never have fallen into the custody of the NID, or come to their notice. Her present condition is largely our fault, and it falls to us to remedy it."

"That's not true, Teal'c," she protested.

'No. It's not their fault. It's mine,' Jolinar said sadly. 'If I had just had the courage to die.'

'Jolinar, stop. What's done is done,' Sam said.

Jack looked at the two defiant figures before him and sighed. Teal'c had hit the nail squarely on the head. It was their fault that Carter and Jolinar had gone through all they had. They knew how the NID lusted after anything goa'uld or Jaffa. And they should have known that word of Carter's condition would get out, especially after how Hammond had taken such enjoyment in rubbing Kennedy's face in not being given custody of Teal'c. Not to mention their little scam to let the Tollans go home.

Between them, his team and his CO had thumbed their noses at the NID for the better part of a year. It made sense that they'd love nothing more than to get their hands on a goa'uld, and the fact that that goa'uld was a member of SG-1 had to be the icing on the cake. They'd made one hell of a messy bed, and Carter had had to pay the price. "Come home," he said abruptly.

"Sir, I can't."

"Come home, let Hammond and I see what we can do. If we can't work things out to your satisfaction, we'll help you find these Tok'ra."

"Colonel…"

"Carter. Tell me it wouldn't be a hell of a lot easier to look for these spies of yours if you had some idea where to look. We can go back to the planet, see if they left a forwarding address or something. We'll help you look," he said, looking her in the eyes. He saw the indecision on her face, her desire to stay home warring with her common sense and her fear of the NID. "I promise you. If the NID try to get their hands on you, I'll dial the gate myself and get you somewhere safe." She looked away, still unsure. He stepped forward; taking her shoulders in his hands and making her look him in the eyes. "You have my word, if they get their hands on you again, it'll be over my dead body."

'Listen to him,' Jolinar urged. 'Let them help you.'

She closed her eyes and he felt her shoulders slump. "Ok. We'll go back," she said softly.

Jack squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. "Sweet. If you're done here, we need to go. We got a long walk."

They quickly gathered up their gear and started following the FRED to the gate, using the headlights on the rover to light their way. "I am curious," Jack said after a few minutes. "How did you two get all these supplies?"

"Oh," Sam said, shooting him a sheepish look.

"Carter?"

"We aah…we forged your signature."

<><><><><>

Sam sat in her lab, studying some of the devices that had piled up during her absence. Rationally, she knew there was nothing incredibly spectacular or dangerous among the artifacts. Without her around to study them, she was sure the really interesting things were already at Nellis. And if the two SF's outside her door were any indication, she doubted the general would trust her with anything too explosive, especially after their little trick with the FRED the other day. Not that he didn't understand, but she did see a bit of hurt in the old man's eyes when he realized that she and Teal'c had sort of lied to him, abusing his generosity in allowing the funeral as a chance for her and Jolinar to escape.

It was a little annoying to be followed everywhere she went, but it was far better than spending endless days in the VIP room she'd been assigned staring at the ceiling. And it felt good to tinker, to wrap her mind around a puzzle and not let go until she solved it.

'Lunch time,' Jolinar prodded.

'Huh?'

'Lunch. Food. Nourishment.'

'We had a donut a couple of hours ago,' Sam said, frowning as she tried to pry the outer casing off an alien device.

'So?'

'So, I'm not hungry.'

'Yes, you are.' On cue, Sam's stomach rumbled.

'Stop that.'

'You do realize that for as long as we are blended, your aging is slowed. You could have up to fifteen centuries to tinker.'

'Well, the way I'm going, it'll take that long.'

'Do you also realize that I can speed up your metabolism so you could consume vast quantities of food and never gain weight.'

'Jol, what's behind this sudden desire to eat?'

'?'

'Don't give me the innocent act. What is in the commissary that you're so eager to get to?'

'They ran out yesterday.'

'Ran out of what?'

'Jello.'

'What?'

'That's what you call it, right. Jello. I especially like the blue kind.'

Sam was ready to chide her symbiote when the phone rang, startling her. It was nearly two weeks since she'd returned to the SGC and still the NID hadn't come. Despite the colonel's promise, she still couldn't shake that anxious feeling that plagued her almost constantly. She hadn't ventured up to the surface or made any attempt at contacting anyone, fearing the nightmare scenario of them getting pulled into this whole mess. "Carter," she said, picking up the receiver.

"There you are," Jack said. "Come down to the infirmary."

"Sir?"

"Don't waste time arguing with me, just get down here," he ordered.

"Yes, sir," she said, shrugging a bit.

'What is that all about?'

'I dunno. Let's get Heckle and Jeckle and find out." Sam stepped out into the hall, smiling as the two SF's fell into step behind her. If she were being really ornery she'd break into a run and leave them behind. But the last thing she needed was to make Hammond any madder at her than he already was. She did however, take the stairs down the three levels to the infirmary.

"Colonel?" she asked, stepping into the room. Teal'c, Janet and O'Neill were all gathered right inside the door to the infirmary.

"Ssh," Jack urged, putting his fingers over his lips. "Don't spook her," he whispered, pointing off to the last bed. Daniel was sitting beside the bed, as had been his norm for the last several days. This time, however, instead of Shau'ri lying, non-responsive, in the bed, she was sitting up, an infant cradled in her arms.

"That's great," Sam said, happy that Shau'ri appeared to be recovering from the severe depression that had followed Amaunet's death. "How did you know she'd respond to a baby?"

"Mothers normally respond to their own infants," Janet said. "It was all the Colonel's idea, actually. He and Teal'c went to Abydos to find the child yesterday."

'What?' Jolinar asked, startling Sam a bit with the vehemence of her interest.

"I think I still got sand in my shorts," Jack groused.

"For one untrained in the martial arts, Kasuf is most adept at remaining concealed," Teal'c complimented.

"That's Apophis' child?" Sam asked, trying not to let Jolinar's intense interest show on her face.

Jack shrugged. "I've done the math, it can't be Daniel's," he said grimly, disgust on his face at the implications.

"Maybe we should give them some privacy," Janet suggested, deliberately turning away as Daniel stood up to help Shau'ri untie her gown, pulling it down so she could feed the child.

'What's wrong?' Sam asked Jolinar as they regrouped out in the hallway.

'Nothing.'

'It didn't feel like nothing. You definitely acted like it was something.'

'Later. I could be wrong, and I don't want to be wrong about this.'

"So, Carter, you two getting along ok?" Jack asked, breaking up Sam's and Jolinar's conversation.

"Sir?"

"You and…" He gestured towards the back of his neck. "No more temper tantrums or fights."

"We're fine, sir."

"Good," he said, clapping his hands together. "Then we gotta get downstairs." He started to walk away. "Come on."

"Colonel?"

"You'll find out when you get there," Jack said cryptically. "Let's go."

With a small shrug, she followed him, Teal'c walking at her side. They took the elevators this time, riding in silence down to Level 28. Still not satisfying her curiosity, Jack led her to Hammond's office, stepping aside so she could proceed him into the room.

"Aah, there you are," Hammond said, looking up. "Please." He gestured towards the chairs.

'What's going on?' Jolinar asked.

'I wish I knew,' Sam replied, taking a seat.

"These just arrived via messenger," the general said, handing Sam a packet of paper. "In there you'll find official papers removing the charge of AWOL from your record and restoring you to full active duty. There is also a Presidential pardon for any actions taken by you or Jolinar during your escape. The President is also very interested in these Tok'ra and the prospect of making an alliance with them against the goa'uld. To that end, he has recognized Jolinar as an official representative of that group and accorded her diplomatic immunity."

"I don't understand."

"Carter, the NID was able to do what they did because technically this program and the work you do in it doesn't exist. Now they do," Jack explained. "You're 100% off limits to them."

"Captain, Colonel O'Neill has relayed your concerns to me about remaining on Earth. This removes those obstacles. I am aware that Jolinar wishes to continue her search for the rest of her people, and while I can not commit extra resources to the task, I can inform all SG teams to be on the look out for any signs of this resistance," Hammond said. "However, in light of what's happened, if you wish to leave, I will regretfully let you go," he said, his eyes suspiciously misty.

"There 's even a vacancy on a field team, if you want it," Jack said, sharing a significant look with Teal'c.

'Stay,' Jolinar urged.

'You've wanted nothing more than to get off this planet for the last six months. Now you want to stay?'

'I have changed my mind. I want to stay on Earth,' she insisted. 'And I want to stay here.'

'What about the rest of the Tok'ra?'

'We have survived for two thousand years. Word of the exploits of the Tau'ri has spread. It is a matter of time before the Tok'ra contact Earth. I shall be here when they do.'

'And what about the NID? You know as well as I do that there are folks out there that won't see it as an obstacle, but as a challenge. There are people out there that still want us.'

'I need to stay here,' Jolinar insisted.

"Ok. We'll stay," Sam said, smiling at her friends.

<><><><><>

Three days later she walked out onto the balcony of her new apartment, cradling the glass of wine in one hand. It had taken a couple of days of looking to find an apartment complex with security to meet her standards, but fortunately she'd found one. The studio apartment was located on the top floor of a ten story high rise and sported a breathtaking view of the Rockies and Pikes Peak off to the west. It was expensive, but thanks to six months of back pay and a little negotiating by General Hammond, who just happened to be an old war buddy of the landlord, she was able to afford it.

So far, she'd furnished it very simply, acknowledging that she spent so much time on the base, she really didn't need much. And after spending six months either under a mountain, or locked in a room, she relished the wide-open and airy feeling of the place.

'Are you going to tell me why it was so important to stay here?' Sam asked, taking a sip of the mellow wine.

'I changed my mind.'

Sam snorted. 'Please. If you want this blending thing to work, you need to be honest with me. The colonel barely trusts me now, and I can't make him trust you if I don't.' She felt Jolinar waffle a bit, clearly reluctant to share. 'Jols.'

'There is a legend, among the goa'uld and the Tok'ra. It is called Harcesis.'

'What's that?'

'Goa'uld and Tok'ra are genetically the same species.'

'I know that. Same race, different politics.'

'The goa'uld possess a genetic memory. Each offspring bears the memories of the queen who spawned it, and the goa'uld whose genetic material is used in conception. This is how, once it had matured inside a Jaffa, a goa'uld is able to subvert a host and immediately begin his or her rise to power.'

'They're born bad?'

'Essentially.'

'What does this have to do with Hrabe? He's human, not a goa'uld.'

'When two goa'uld procreate, the offspring is said to contain the knowledge of ALL who has come before him. If Hrabe is a true Harcesis, then he has the knowledge of every symbiote and every host in Apophis' lineage.'

'Ok. That's not good. But he's just a baby.'

'Much of a goa'uld's energies goes into subverting the host. Even after they have surrendered, there is an inherent reluctance. If Hrabe is a Harcesis, he would not only be a willing host, he would be compelled to be a host. He not only has the knowledge of Apophis, but he will want to use that knowledge. He will be compelled to seek out and attain power,' the Tok'ra explained.

'And he has a few millennia of knowledge to help him do that,' Sam said, finally understanding.

'If the legend is true. And if he is indeed Harcesis,' Jolinar said.

'We should warn Daniel…'

'No.'

'Why not? If he's that dangerous…'

'Can you imagine what your NID would do with access to Hrabe's memories? He is safest if no one knows of his existence.'

The intercom buzzed, forestalling what was sure to be a long argument. 'We are not done with this,' she promised her symbiote, walking back into the apartment and pressing the button on the box. "Yes?"

"Yo Rapunzel, want to let me in?" Jack asked, his new nickname making Sam smile.

Pressing the button she set down her wine and hurried back to her bedroom, exchanging her pajamas for a more concealing pair of sweats. The colonel may have certainly seen her in less, but she still felt more comfortable not receiving guests in her sleepers.

She walked back out into her living room, just as the doorbell rang. She looked through the peephole, then opened the door. "Colonel, this is a surprise," she said, stepping back to let him in.

"Well I aah…little housewarming." He held out a chilled bottle of wine.

"Thank you," she said, accepting it. "Make yourself at home and I'll go open this." She walked into her small kitchen, digging in the drawer for her corkscrew. She poured two glasses and padded out into the living room, finding Jack on her balcony enjoying the view. Handing him a glass, she took a sip and leaned against the railing. "It's good," she said.

"I'm glad. I just went with what the clerk said. I'm not much of a connoisseur," he said. "You've got a great view."

She shrugged. "I may regret it this winter but…it is nice. It's fun to be up here, away from it all." She looked down at the sparse traffic. Her building wasn't downtown, but rather part of a new development on the northern fringes of the city. Which meant that traffic and noise were light, the area still a maze of construction zones.

They stood there for several minutes, watching as the sun turned the contrails from the jets coming and going from Petersen Air Force Base into ribbons of color in the darkening sky.

"You know, that field team position I was talking about, it's your old job," he spoke up, taking a sip of the wine.

"That's not necessary, sir." He raised his eyebrows in question and she sighed. "We can just work in the lab or help Daniel with his translations, assuming that he stays with the SGC now that he has Shau'ri back. Maybe Jolinar can help."

"You once told me that all you ever wanted to do was be on a field team."

"And you once said you'd never, ever trust a goa'uld," she countered.

"Carter."

"Sir. I know you don't trust me. And I understand. I don't know if I would trust me. It might be best for everyone's peace of mind if I stay on the base," she said, thinking about the secret she was now keeping from her friends.

"I'm not doing this because I feel sorry for you," he said. "Hammond has made it official. Our mission statement is to look for tech or allies, and the Tok'ra just might qualify as allies. I got you on my team, I've got an advantage."

"An advantage?"

"Teal'c tells me the Tok'ra aren't exactly easy to find. Having someone along who could recognize one, is a good thing." She shrugged and turned away, taking another sip of her wine in lieu of arguing further. "Carter." She turned back. "YOU I trust. I always have."

"What about Jolinar?"

"As far as I'm concerned this whole mess is totally her fault. If she wouldn't have forced her way into your head, none of this would have happened."

"Apophis would still be alive, Shau'ri would still be missing…"

"You wouldn't have spent six months in hell," he countered.

Unable to argue, she turned away again, feeling Jolinar's own guilt and agreement with his words. Rationally, Sam knew the alien had only been trying to survive, the same way a drowning person will panic and drown someone else in an effort to stay afloat. Jolinar hadn't even been thinking rationally when she'd blended with Sam. She'd been dying and frantically took the only option she had.

And he wasn't saying anything that Sam herself didn't agree with. Blending with her had been one of those defining moments and had set a whole series of events into play that were still unraveling. Vaguely she wondered if there were one of Daniel's alternate universes out there where events hadn't played out as they had here. Maybe somewhere in the universe there was a Sam Carter who didn't have an alien living in her head.

"I should go," Jack said abruptly, setting his glass of wine down on her small deck table. "Early briefing."

"Thank you for…" she held up the glass of wine.

He nodded and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. "Oh." He drew out a small box. "I aah…I wanted to give you this." He held out the box.

Sam set down her wine and took it, opening it with a small frown. "Colonel?" she asked, staring at the medal in the satin lined box.

"That shoulda been yours to start with," he said, referring to his Air Medal that had arrived in the same messenger packet as her pardon.

"This is yours, sir. I can't…"

"The minute you agreed to come with us, knowing that it was either a suicide mission or the end of your career, that was the moment that I knew there was no one else I wanted watching my back. I want you on SG-1, and if Jolinar has to come along for the ride to make that happen, I can live with it," he said sincerely. She looked down, her fingers tracing the edges of the medal. Her throat filling with unaccustomed emotion, she settled for nodding. "Then you may not want to finish that wine. We have a mission briefing at 0800," he said, emphasizing the we.

She swallowed. "I'll be there," she said, relieved when her voice didn't waver too much.

"Good." He turned and walked towards the door. He opened it, then turned back. "And Carter?"

"Sir?"

"You ever forge my name on a requisition again, I'll kick your ass." He shut the door behind him, leaving her alone. Still holding the medal, she walked back out onto her balcony. The sun had set and the darkened sky was coming alive with brilliant stars. She should feel elated, happy that she had her old job back and that things were as back to normal as they could be. But she couldn't. She couldn't shake the feeling that keeping Jolinar's secret may end up costing her more than she was willing to pay.

~Fin~

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