Slumping back against the door I close my eyes trying to calm my heart to the steady rhythm it was before.  I plead for this game to end.  Screaming out to the total darkness, "I am not afraid!.."  Fighting the tears that now sting my face.. "I'm not afraid.."  I pull my legs up to chest hugging them closely as if it will give me security from the danger I face.  Rocking back and forth, I start to hum a song my best friend use to sing. "When u are afraid smile and know I'll be there my warmth guiding you to the light." Even in this time he still haunts my memory.. His voice echoing through out my soul. "Why.." "We were suppose to grow old together..." Burrowing my head in my knees.. I simply can't hold any more.  I allow the tears to dampen my face... allow the pain of my tragedy to once again coil and cut off life to my already deaden heart.  Broken out my trance I raise my head.  My heart sounds off causing my breath to quicken.  Fear quickly pumps through my body.. Holding my breath, I listen to the shadows..  There is that sound.. That piercing sound.  Staggering to my feet I race through the darkness. Running my hands along the wall I feel for an exit out of this nightmare.  Looking back I see a small light bouncing off the walls.  My eyes widen with fear when I realize I can't move.  Pulling at my legs I beg them to go.. To let me escape from the ever approaching stranger.  Throwing all my weight forward, I fall, my head colliding with the floor below.  Looking up, the light seems to be getting closer.  Turning my head I relax against the floor, letting my mind escape to a place buried deep inside my memory. "Hey watch me!!!" I was so naive.. "Dev.  What are you doing?" The train track signs come down. "Devon stay here!" You began to run and do flips down the train tracks. "Dev." I can hear the fear in my voice. You looked at me. "Ah Nick don't be such a scaredy cat." Crossing my arms I turned away. "Oh honestly.. I'm not afraid!" I knew you were grinning. I hear the sound of the train. Spinning around, I scream at you.. "Devon come back here please!  Your scaring me!" You simply laughed. "Nope Nick... I want to see..." You got cut off... I remember seeing the fear in your eyes... Your foot getting caught in the tracks.... My heart beating with the pain of not knowing what to do.. I ran to you.. I grabbed your hand trying to pull u away from the danger. "Hurry up.. Come on please get off the tracks!" You looked at me with sad eyes.. "I can't my.. My... my foot.. It's stuck." I fell to your side, desperately trying to free what bound you to the tracks. Crying... "Devon.." The noise of the train.. So close.. We both turned are heads... the shock so alive in your face and in mine. You grabbed my face.... gave me a grin... and then pushed me away. "No!" I grabbed at your neck trying to take you with me... only to find I fell off alone... "Devon!!!!!!!" Opening my eyes I sit up with a start.  Trying to breath I can still here my voice bouncing down the halls of darkness.  Bringing my hands to my face... "I'm not afraid..." Gathering all my strength I brake myself out of misery.  Looking around I see I'm even more lost than before.  Holding my head, I balance myself up against the wall. "What do I do now?" I say.  Trying to focus my eyes I see the small light forming in front of me.  My heart begins to race.  "No more!" Falling back, "I'm... I'm not afraid!" Closing my eyes I try to block the light out... the everlasting nightmare that won't fade away.  Once again I bring my legs to my chest.. Rocking back and forth to the simple melody of my friend. "When your afraid simply smile and know I'll be there my warmth guiding you to the light." My body begins to shake.. The emotion of fear making its presence into the growing nightmare.  "Devon.." I whisper out to the shadows..Smiling I wait for your warmth to guide me to the light.  But you never come.  You never seem to break me out of this dream.  My head raising to complete darkness, "Even Now I'm not afraid!!!!!" I leap up running towards the light.  What am I doing I repeat to myself.  I am afraid, so why do I keep on running? So close to the light, I open my eyes and realize what I am running from.. I open my mouth trying to speak but sadly nothing ever comes out..  I'm overcome by all the emotions of my past that I tried to lock away, I can't seem to stand ne more.  I begin to collapse... falling thru the light. "Devon." Sitting up in my bed, "It was that dream... that dream." Taking a couple of deep breaths to calm my shaking body I look at a picture on my night stand.  Extending my hand I pick up the old memory and realize just what I have been running from.  Shaking my head, "Even now old friend you still haunt me."  Grinning, "I'm not afraid."  Touching the glass with my finger I touch your face , "I miss you so much."  Sighing I lay down, the picture held tightly in my hand.  Looking up at my ceiling tears dampen my face, I feel the pain striking my heart.  I throw the picture on the floor, my anger of your death washing over my sadness.   Hugging my pillow I whisper your name.  I close my eyes trying once again to fall asleep.  Trying to remain calm, "I am not afraid...."  "I am not afraid."  My body begins to get heavy.  I relax my grip on the pillow and I seep off back to the dream that I had awaken from.