Home
Counterfeit Cash Fan Mail
(07/21/01) Wesley Cordova writes:
"First of all I'm offended that a man of my vast military experience has been left out of your fledgling military force."
Simon responds:
"I always thought your whole 'military experience' schtick was only to pick up chicks."
(07/20/01) Counterfeit Cash soldier Private Richard Krackerwicky wrote this long-ass e-mail: (it was in response to an e-mail I sent out asking for suggestions for the FAQ section. My responses are in italics.)
I think some decent starter questions would be:
1) How'd you come up with the band name? Whose idea?
Something that had to with the fact that Jason could sing like Johnny Cash and we were gonna play a bunch of Cash covers. It's funny b/c we only play like three or four Johnny Cash songs. I think Jason or Scott came up with the name.
2) What song has the band performed the most in public?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "Folsom Prison Blues".
3) Band members' drinks of choice?
Anything with alcohol in it is our drinks of choice.
4) What type/model of instrument does everybody play?
Stupid question....next!!!
5) How many versions of Elvis has there been? (I can think of Cowboy, Fat, Bizarro, and Red)
I didn't even know there were different versions of Elvis. I stopped paying attention a while back ago.
6) Where does the band practice?
Can't be disclosed as we all know the papanazi's are gonna be out in full force.
7) How much money has the band made so far? (Net and gross)
I'm not band treasurer. Besides, I'm in it for the music, not the money.
8) Why is Lane such an angry little man?
Irrelevant subject matter....next question, please.
9) Who would play each of the band members in a "Made for VH1" movie?
This is the only question that's gonna make the FAQ section.
10) How many different bands/singers have you guys covered in public?
Another stupid question.
(07/20/01) Counterfeit Cash soldier Private Lane Gavin Diamond writes:
"How did Big Sexy get his name... I mean he just doesn't look like a 'Scott'?"
Simon responds:
"I am confused about this question. Are you asking us why we call him 'Big Sexy' or why his parents named him 'Scott'? I'm only qualified to answer the 'Big Sexy' part of the question."
"As everybody knows, 'Big Sexy' is the nickname of popular WCW wrestler Kevin Nash, who happens to looks just like Scott. Click here to make your comparisons. I also think the nickname 'Big Sexy' embodies everything that Scott Owen is. Kinda like the perfect nickname for me would be 'African royalty'."
(07/17/01) Casey Neal from Memolink, Inc. writes:
"I would be very happy if you'd allow me to be in your army. Please let me
know the requirements and/or the physical attributes required to become a
loyal Cash Soldier. Thank you."
Simon responds:
"That should be pretty obvious. If you're a chick, you gotta be pretty hot. On top of that, there's the monthly $500 fee. As a Counterfeit Cash soldier, one should praise the band members for their performances, regardless of how crappy the band played due to excessive alcohol consumption. Also, it'd be cool if you helped load and unload our equipment, since certain band members tend to disappear when it comes time to tear down and load up equipment."
Home