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The Last Good-Bye
I press repeat and play
Then the music begins
I sit on my bed and stare at nothing
This is what my life has come to.
I dwell on all the unhappiness in my life
Can't help feeling betrayed
Those who once were closest to me, now lie
Never got the chance for truth
I've been abandoned by one
Now I question if it wouldn't have been better if I'd been left ignorant
Too many memories that are too fresh
I keep reaching out
But the dial tone is all I hear
Patiently waiting for an empty promise to follow through
They tell me to just let go,
Say good-bye...
But I can't,
Not yet anyways
I foolishly let my hopes be raised over and over again
For what?
I know better
But I can't resist.
Another let down.
So I put in another CD
Wait for it to begin
Having the assurance that some things do follow through.
But why bother at all?
Why continually subject myself to this?
Selfishness...
The depression lets me know I am alive
Perhaps it isn't that hard to let go
But I can't resist
Even though I weary of the pattern and repetition
Maybe it is time to call it quits
After all,
How much should I,
Dare I subject myself to
Before I walk down that familiar path
The path where blood flows freely
And sleep is eternal?
I refuse to go back there.
I must end it now
But what's the point,
I think it ended long before
I just was never told
Fine, I'll say it
No more disappointments
This is the end...
Of the friendship I thought we had.
The Distance…
There has always been a certain distance between us
Then came something that changed both our lives
And the distance grew
I blamed you at first
But I realized that perhaps it was no one’s fault.
Life moved on and neither of us made any effort
I miss the friendship I thought we once shared
(Was I just fooling myself?)
But we made a silent mutual agreement
Now we’re separated by a physical distance
Perhaps it was the next logical step
I used to mourn for our friendship
Now I question if it was even there
I admit that I do think soft of you from time to time
But the infatuation is long over
All delusions are cast away
I see the reality of our relationship
Or lack there of
The strange thing is
It doesn’t matter anymore
I shall forever call you friend
But you and I are not the same people we used to be
It’s the memories of the past that do not change
I will forever remember the times you were there for me
And that is what really matters
To me.
Even though those days are long over.
There is distance between us
But there will never be distance between the memory of my feelings…
