Duo's Demon 00

MAXWELL'S DEMON: A Gundam Wing fanfic by Madamhydra (a "Relena Knows Something" dark romantic comedy) (AKA, the fable of "The Girl Who Cried 'Heero!' Too Often")
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WARNING: shonen-ai, mild yaoi, characters wildly OOC... I'd like credit Joyce K. Wakabayashi's terrific story "Death and the Soldier", as much of the inspiration and background for "Maxwell's Demon". ^_^ Please check out her other great GW fics at her website called "Gundam Wing on Acid"!
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Gulf/7463/gundam.html Short Disclaimer: (Full Disclaimers at the end) Gundam Wing copyrighted by its respective creators and all distributors of their work and used without permission.
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"MAXWELL'S DEMON" - An idea of famed physicist James Clerk Maxwell proposing a 'demon' (a device or entity) who could theoretically do an impossible task -- violate the second law of thermodynamics by making heat flow backward from cold to hot. Basically something that presumably allows you to do something which otherwise might be statistically unlikely. ^_^

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Prologue
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"Get out! Get out!" came an outraged female scream.

Relena Peacecraft's band of groupies never would have recognized their idol as she screamed at the suspicious-looking man who hastily scuttled away from her wrath. Now alone in her office, she stared down at the photos scattered all over her desk, her eyes bulging in rage. She grabbed one and tore it to shreds, then started on another. "This... this can't BE!!! There's NO way this can be true!!!"

At that moment, some foolhardy soul knocked on the door.

"What do you want!?" the Peacecraft snarled. Hell hath no wrath like a woman scorned....

Her secretary timidly poked her head into the room and said in a quivering voice, "Relena-sama, someone dropped off this package for you. He said it was VERY important and that you absolutely HAD to see them! He ran off before I could stop him, but he said that you'd know how to contact him."

Relena snatched the package from her secretary's hand and slammed the door in the poor woman's face. She then torn open the envelope, yanked out a handful of photos, and glared at them. Then the color drained from her face.

"Oh no... oh no... oh no... it can't be...." She shuffled hastily through the stack of large prints. "Unbelievable...." But as she stared at the pictures with a horrified expression, she muttered, "Of course. That's the only POSSIBLE explanation!"

-------------------------------------------- [two days later]
The waiting had been so hard. Trying to locate him had been difficult enough, but then having to wait for the right moment to approach him.... But she hadn't wasted the opportunity. She made arrangements, devised backup plans.... Relena slung her oversized purse over her shoulder like a soldier shouldering his backpack. She knew what she had to do and she wasn't about to let a little thing like mortal danger stop her. For the sake of love, Relena Peacecraft was prepared to go to any lengths to save the man of her dreams.

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"HEEERRROOO!!!"

Standing outside their current safehouse, the cobalt-eyed Gundam pilot, otherwise known as Heero Yuy, turned to see the all too familiar sight of Relena rushing toward him. "Go away," he said flatly.

Relena blatantly ignored the words and glomped onto him. As she clung to him like a starved leech, she babbled, "Oh god, I'm so glad to see you! I've been absolutely frantic! You can't imagine how worried I've been! I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to find you in time!"

Heero scowled at her as he wondered if he should use his full strength to free himself and risk injury to Relena. He was seriously contemplating it. His frown deepened as she continued with her incoherent mutterings. What the hell was the matter with the girl? She was prone to gushing all over him, but she had never been THIS bad.

He involuntarily winced as she wailed, "Hee-eerrooo! I have to warn you about the terrible danger you're in!"

"Then stop wasting time moaning about it and just tell me," he replied in his usual distant monotone.

Heero barely managed to keep himself from backing away as she leaned VERY close to him, her eyes swimming with tears of relief. She opened her mouth just as a familiar husky voice cheerfully spoke up right beside her.

"Yeah, why don't you just spit it out?"

Relena suddenly went rigid. Then ever so slowly, she turned her head to find Duo Maxwell grinning playfully at her from only a few inches away. "IYYYYYYYAAAAAA!!!!!!!" An earsplitting shriek of terror tore through the air and kept going... and going... and going....

"Owww!" yelped Duo, his head ringing from the sound of Relena's scream going off only inches from his ears. He hastily scuttled away, his hands protectively clapped over his abused hearing organs.

Heero had endured battle injuries, gunshots, broken legs and enemy torture with barely a grimace, but this time, he couldn't stop himself from visibly cringing. He would have followed Duo's example and tried to flee the scene, except Relena continued to cling to his waist like a limpet.

Wufei exploded from the bushes, sword in hand, followed rapidly by Quatre and Trowa, both armed with guns. "What!? What!?" the Chinese pilot snapped, his black ponytail lashing wildly about as he searched for the enemy.

But the only people he could see was Relena who looked as if she was doing her best to get closer to Heero than his spandex shorts -- an obvious impossibility -- and Duo, who was now sitting on the ground doing his best to stuff his braid into his ears to muffle the sound of Relena's shrieks. Trowa's and Quatre's relatively soft voices were no match for Relena in full cry so it was left to Wufei to do his best to shout her down.

The cacophony went on until finally even Relena ran out of breath. Still clinging desperately to Heero, she ducked behind him, her bosom heaving as she gulped for air.

A thoroughly exasperated Wufei bellowed, "WOMAN, WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!?!?"

Peeking warily around the Wing Gundam pilot, she shouted, "Heero, you're in terrible danger! You've got to kill the unholy monster before he tries to destroy you and devour your soul!"

"WHAT monster?" Heero growled ominously.

"HIM!!!" she replied, pointed a quivering finger directly at Duo.

For once, Duo was left totally speechless, his clear, blue-violet eyes widening in utter disbelief. His mouth opened and closed a few times as Quatre and Trowa exchanged dubious looks. Wufei slammed his sword back in its sheath in disgust. Finally, all Duo could do was wiggle his fingers in little circling motions beside his head in the familiar gesture denoting total insanity.