Interview with Circus Boy

This article will run in the March 2004 issue of CCM (Contemporary Christian Music), which this writer assumes is still thriving. The article is a segment in the CCM series, "Holy Failures: Whatever Happened To...", which "focuses on bands that failed to live up to God's Expectations." In the series, CCM cites SBH, Everdown, Sanctified Sister, Dan Reid, Satan's Whore, Pearl Jam, and John Deas as "horrible disappointments who should have made us millions I mean converted millions." The article follows:

WHERE ARE THEY NOW (CCM recently had a short, awkward chat with Shag Bark Hickory's Circus Boy -- not to be confused with Jet Circus -- about the state of the band today. CB cut the interview short, citing a need to "go pick up some pancake syrup at the gas station before Average Joe: Hawaii comes on.") Contemporary Christian Music: So, do you feel like SBH is a horrible letdown? Circus Boy: Well, I don't know. I don't know if I would put it in those words, you know. Seems pretty harsh when you think about bands like Impaled Horse and Dumptruck. I mean, from the beginning, we only claimed to do our best to churn out as much Raccoon Lake, IN-based "Lightning Metallica" meets "Ark Of Suffering Tourniquet" college rock as possible. I think we did a nice job of maintaining that goal while we could. CCM: Is it true that the title of your first tape was almost Straightedge as FUCK? CB: Oh yeah, that's true. Bishop Lawrence and I both pushed pretty hard for that one until we found out it'd already been used. Caesar Salad wanted to call the band "Rainbow Rider", too, but then we heard some band somewhere in Mexico had already used it. CCM: So what are you up to these days? CB: I sort of run a Jiffy Lube, where my drug abusing and/or developmentally disabled employees mock me for thirteen hours a day. CCM: And the other band members? CB: Oh let's see...I think Cap'n Munchies is "working for Peace" in one of the Koreas. Bishop Lawrence is doing a lot of driving, and Caesar Salad is looking into this new interest in building a space station on the moon or something. Wasn't that supposed to be done in 1994? CCM: Yeah I think so. CB: Yeah. CCM: Have you heard from John Deas? CB: No. He used to write every two or three years, but not anymore. Well, uh, I really should get going... CCM: Just a couple more quick questions... CB: Uh, okay. CCM: Yesterday John Schlitt mentioned something about rumors that SBH isn't finished. Do you guys have any projects or new stuff on the horizon? CB: Well it's kind of hard to put anything together, really, but I don't think any of us are willing to let go completely. We've got a few songs ready to go if the opportunity ever presents itself. Songs like "I'm Just Like George Bailey Except I Have No Friends And My Family Hates Me" and "Milk Duds Stick To Your Damn Teeth" and "I'm Pretty Sure KISS And Aerosmith Are Fighting For The Prize Of Just About The Worst Thing Ever." I mean seriously, we were watching some crap news journalism show called AOLCBS Nightline NOW and they had some footage of KISS -- I'm sorry -- K.I.S.S., and they were playing in Sweden, I think, and it was painful to watch. I remember when it was "lame" to listen to Christian metal bands instead of K.I.S.S., but I gotta tell ya, man, I think Steve Rowe is getting the last laugh. CCM: Any other projects? CB: Not that I'm aware of. Bishop Lawrence and I have been meaning to start a band on the side for about the last 6 years, but I guess we're still working out the kinks. I know all of us would like to play a show with Jason Martin and Andrew W.K. at Cornerstone 2004, but we'll see if that actually happens. Not bloody likely. CCM: Any business advice? CB: No. I despise retail and most forms of capitalism. Concerning my employees, my philosophy is something like "Shoot the Lame Horse," and concerning customers, my philosophy is something like "The Customer Can Fuck Off." That's about it. Well hey, I really have to go, here... CCM: Okay. Thank you for your time. CB: Yes.