SBH:our own pants:interviews

Interview with Bishop Lawrence

This interview originally appeared in TEEN ROK magazine #42.

It's a little known fact that Shag Bark Hickory was not the band's original name. What made you guys change the name and how did you decide on Shag Bark Hickory?
        Yes, the original name of the band was actually Rotting Vomit Fetus Poop. This was an attempt to make the most disgusting/offensive/ridiculous name possible, since we were aiming at the same audience that was into bands like Dead Horse, Internal Bleeding, and Hot Stove. Oh, and the Meat Shits. And there was one that had something to do with a fetus, but I can't remember it at the moment.
        Anyway, we did the first tape ("Welcome to Your Funeral") and it was pretty harsh, but then we started in a more "accessible" direction on the next tape and figured we should switch the name before anyone noticed. Which worked really well, actually, since no one had any copies of the first tape with the original band name on them. We called the band Shag Bark Hickory because, like most Steven Seagal movies, it was three words (see also: "Half Past Dead," "Hard to Kill," "Out for Justice," "Above the Law," etc.). Seemed to work for him, so we just appropriated the idea and gave it a little midwestern flavor. Delicious.
        Oh, Dying Fetus. That was the name of that other band. Dying Fetus.

What about your name specifically? What is the story behind the name Bishop Lawrence? Or is that your real name?
        Bishop Lawrence is my real name in the same way that "The Unicorn Princess" is Circus Boy's real name, if that makes any sense. To answer your question more directly, I don't really remember where it came from. It just seemed like a good idea at the time. Looked good on paper, you see.

Shag Bark Hickory seemed to be more of a "studio" band. Why didn't you play more shows?
        Well, Steely Dan is a band who we influenced quite a bit. They were really the first big hit "studio" band, and like Donald Fagen said: "Shag Bark Hickory don't do many shows, and they're like a million times better than us, so we feel kind of guilty doing any shows or putting out albums or anything like that, you know, music-related. God, we suck. Seriously, wait until we put out 'Two Against Nature.' If you don't believe we're ancient, talentless fucking water-treading hacks by that time, you're probably one of the morons who bought a copy of the album. Shit, if you didn't figure that out before 'Katy Lied,' you need to stop listening to music altogether. And goddamn, did you see Fleetwood Mac is putting out another record!? What the fuck? Wait, what were we talking about again?"
        Putting together a Shag Bark Hickory show was a massive undertaking. Listen to the tapes! Guitar, drums, bass, keyboards, saxophone, recorder, power saw, crank, more keyboards, vocalists, backing vocalists, guest vocalists, the list of people and equipment required on-stage to do any sort of justice to the sound on our recordings is ridiculous. We did the one show, and unfortunately only two of us could make it, and we had to patch together the rest of the band out of random people at the venue, so it still went really well, but it wasn't up to my Jarvis Cocker-style demands for perfection. So we cancelled that whole tour-- that was supposed to be our Monsters of Catholicism Tour with Third Eye Blind and The Pope, too. They lost a lot of ticket sales when we bailed on the tour, but it just couldn't be helped.

What went wrong with the Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman, and Me EP?
        I didn't think we were talking about that ever again. That was so long ago, though, that I guess it's all right to name names now. First we brought in Phil Spector, and that went okay until he started demanding we let Brian Wilson come in and re-write all the songs. We said no, but then he shot me in the leg, so we let Brian Wilson come in and re-write all the songs. Halfway through recording the newly re-written songs, though, Spector shot Brian Wilson twice in the stomach and quit. So we went back and re-re-wrote the songs, now without Brian Wilson or Phil Spector, and we picked Kevin Shields to produce for us. It worked out okay for a while, until one day we came to the studio to find Shields actually smoking the master tapes. And then Phil Spector came back that day, and Shields tried to roll him in a towel and smoke him, so Spector shot the mixing board about fifteen times and then Brian Wilson came to visit and set the studio on fire. Then Kevin Shields wrapped up the burning studio and smoked it. It was a huge mess, and after that day, we just gave up.

Which do you feel is SBH's strongest album? What are your personal favorite songs?
        I don't know that I have a favorite song, really. They're all pretty good. Right now, I know our fans are screaming "YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT THEY ARE!" They also celebrate our entire catalog. If I had to pick just one SBH song to listen to over and over again forever, though, I think it would have to be "You Threw Up," which is the best song ever recorded. However, if the restrictions were loosened and I was allowed to alternate it with one other song, I'd have to pick "Wikked Good," because that song proves that (you can still) rock in America. And if you don't like America, then you can get out.
        As for our strongest album, I'd have to say that would be "An American Tragedy." It focuses all of our strengths into a laserbeam of rock firepower, and we actually got Elton John to record an exclusive tribute song for JFK, Jr. (God rest his shark-eaten soul) by using me as a medium like Whoopi Goldberg in the popular supernatural romance "Ghost." Also, it has "Turn the Crank" on it, which is the third song I'd listen to if they yet further loosened my song restrictions to include a third one.

Do you find it highly suspicious that Andrew W.K. acheived overnight success doing what Shag Bark Hickory did five years ago? And might it be more than a coincidence that some of SBH's members "lost" their copies of the tapes? Do you think that tape Andrew W.K. puts in the tape recorder in the "She Is Beautiful" video is actually a copy of "Lesbian In The Wind"?
        I'm almost positive that it is. I think it was Cap'n Munchies' copy, originally. I think that he somehow also got a hold of The Necronomicon (the notebook that holds almost all of the band's lyrics and track listings), because there's one unreleased song called "Nothin' But a Party" that he *had* to have had access to. We set down the blueprints for "I Get Wet" in stone with those lyrics, along with the songs "Brad Michaels," "Partee Citee," and "Wikked Good." We're talking with some lawyers about getting in touch with his people and arranging distribution of royalties. I think if Gilbert O' Sullivan can successfully sue Biz Markie (who merely sampled part of a song), then certainly we can obtain the copyright to Andrew W.K. It's only fair.

Other than Andrew W.K., who else do you think has been heavily influenced by Shag Bark Hickory?
        The influence of Shag Bark Hickory has permeated every corner of society and culture. Check out the original artwork for "Lesbian in the Wind"-- Princess Di's head cut and pasted onto bikini models. What do you see a scant few years later but a character doing the same thing in Jean-Pierre Jeunet's "Amelie!" Additionally, we dealt a lot with the passing of Princess Diana in general-- she really was, by the way, the Last Good Person on Earth-- and Takashi Miike's film "The Happiness of the Katakuris" clearly took a cue from our research. As far as music goes, you need look no further than Shaggy and Sean Paul on the pop charts (the dancehall craze as predicted by the original "Frogs"), Toby Keith and Alan Jackson on the country charts ("His Own Pants" and "Hip Blunt Generation X Communist" are clear grandparents to "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue"), and Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Hot Action Cop, Rage Against the Machine, Audioslave, Slipknot, Disturbed, and on and on and on and on and on (obvious, since we invented the distortion pedal and were the first documented group to combine embarrassing machismo, angry white-boy vocals, and metal). No one has gone untouched by a little Shag. This is as it should be.

Is it true that Shag Bark Hickory turned down a multi-million dollar major record label deal to remain true to the "indie rock spirit?"
        This is absolutely true, although just like every other band who does the same thing (*cough* Fugazi *cough*), we actually took the money and just quietly put the millions of dollars in the bank to finance all the touring and pressing of the cds from then on. The major labels look at it as an investment-- they give you the money, let you build your name on it, and then maybe twenty or so years down the line, they collect when you sign on for a "modest sum" that guarantees "artistic freedom" and you've already got a built-in audience. Look at Aerosmith! The Rolling Stones! The Eagles! The major labels know that if a band has been around for fucking ever, there's a legion of suckers who are going to buy everything they put out whether it's actually worth listening to or not. Because like that seventeen-year-old kid said on MTV, "They're classic, you have to respect it, you have to buy it!" That's how they get you.
        But officially, yeah, we turned it down. Fuck the labels, man, join the Avrilution. Stay true to the independent scene. Like Avril Lavigne. That rhymed. We just wrote a new song.

If you made them and they made you who picked up the bill and who made who?
        Theo Huxtable.

I see Shag Bark Hickory has quite a few unreleased songs. Any chance you guys will get those recorded and released to your legions of hardcore fans?
        There's been talk, but as of right now the band is on what is called "indefinite hiatus." Basically, what it means in our case is one of our members is in Indiana, one is is Iowa, one is in California, and one is in South Fucking Korea, and most of our guests are scattered in Washington state and who knows where else. But we do have a lot of songs written, waiting in the archives to be dusted off and given life anew. But we also all have our own individual projects-- I'm trying to get my "Manimal" fan scripts produced into actual episodes, Circus Boy is trying to get on the staff of "HM" with a series of kiss-ass stories about Bride, Cap'n Munchies is attempting to single-handedly put an end to the North Korean problem with a hooker under one arm, another hooker under the other, and a beer can hat/IV drip, and Caesar Salad is trying to open a casino/brothel/library in Long Beach.
        Needless to say, these are all difficult tasks which require tremendous energy and attention, not at all unlike the recording of Shag Bark Hickory material. I think as long as there are fans waiting for it, there's always going to be that possibility that we might get another album out there. And, since there are so many die-hard fans, and they're mostly fairly young and therefore likely to live for a good long while, that possibility is going to be there for a good fifty or sixty more years or so.

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