JC wasn’t sure what it was about sliding into the stretch limo all alone. He wondered if it was the fact four other people usually flanked him, or maybe it was the very real fact that once the premiere was over, he had one night to make things the way he wanted them. His nerves were frazzled as he leaned back against the leather seats, and he wished someone had come with him. He’d asked Beth, but she had other arrangements. So he sat, alone with his thoughts, as the limo hummed along. “You okay?” the old man asked, pressing a wrinkled hand against JC’s thigh. “Not nervous are you?” JC blinked and slithered away, his heart stopped beating as he stared into odd eyes, eyes that seemed so void of life. They were slate gray and hard -- and they made JC shiver. He wrapped his arms around himself and shuddered. “How’d you get in here?” he hissed, pressing his back against the door. “Jesus!” “Oh not Jesus,” the old man roared. “Definitely not Jesus!” “What do you want?” JC cried, throwing his head between his legs. He needed air, for his chest to have some of the weight rocked off of it. “What? Just tell me why?” “Easy kid,” the voice said. “Just making sure you were okay is all. I took care of the girl. I don’t give refunds so I had to be sure everything was alright here.” Laura. Poor Laura, JC cringed as he imagined the state of her stomach. “I’m going to hell,” he whimpered, pressing his forehead against his knees. “Straight to hell. With no voice!” “It ain’t as bad as all that,” the man chuckled. “You do what you can. You never know. You might just win!” JC scowled, the hollow of his heart growing sickly. He blinked up with flushed cheeks, ready to snap at the phantom, but he was gone. “Great!” he screamed, balling up his fist and driving it into the window. “Fucking great!” And he wondered, as his knuckles ached, why he was so weak. He’d been taught to be strong -- to earn what he got in life. This was cheating. Playing dirty. As his stomach burned, and the limo lurched to a stop, he caught a glimpse of Lance on the red carpet. Laura gripping his hand, looking a little pasty. Her skin seemed white as snow and the red on her lips looked like blood. “Dammit!” The driver opened the door, and squeals pierced his ears as he stepped out. N Sync fans waved and tried to throw a blanket of comfort around him, but he was stuck -- backed into a black and hopeless hole. Forcing a smile, he maneuvered his way toward the entrance, passing by Joey on the way. “Hey C’s here!” Joey caught him in a bear hug as flashes popped violently in his eyes, and JC was suffocating under the pressure of it all. “Man, I told Lance we shoulda just had ourselves a circus for the premiere. Woulda been a fuck of a lot  more fun!” JC mumbled into Joey’s shoulder as he tried to escape. For one brief moment, Laura’s eye caught his, and she glared at him -- a cold stare that sailed right through him. Chills raked over his body as the stare was broken, and she pressed a fist to her lips, burying her head into Lance’s back. So sick, JC thought, and what was that look? Joey released him, and he moved forward, trying to step around Lance. Not ready to come face to face with it all just yet. But as he moved, Diane Bass touched his arm. “Honey! So good to see you.” She leaned in to brush his cheek, and JC thought he was possibly the worst living creature alive at that moment. She smelled so sweet, like summer -- and her kindness was normally something he dove head first into. But not this night. Not when he was being deviant and planning unethical things upon her son. “Did you get to see Lance yet? He’s just the biggest bundle of nerves you ever saw!” She laughed and took his hand, and JC had no option but to follow her. To come face to face with what he was trying to put off for so long. “Honey, JC is here,” Diane whispered, tapping her son on the shoulder. JC was trembling from the inside, his heart trying to make its escape from his ribcage. And then Lance spun around with the most luminous expression in his eyes -- sparkling and bright. Innocent yet sexy. He licked his lips and smiled, dropping Laura’s hand to hug JC. In that very second, JC was re-affirmed -- as his nose caught whiffs that spoke only of Lance. As Lance’s body pressed against him tightly. As those arms wrapped around him with conviction. “Not many people showed,” Lance whispered into JC’s ears. “I thought it would be bigger.” JC felt for him, as he hugged him back, wanting to reassure the little boy who’d come out. Knowing that there were worry lines creasing Lance’s forehead -- little etches he couldn't show anyone else. JC could feel the tension in Lance’s shoulders, and the way his skin burned under the designer suit he had on. JC felt Lance completely at that second, so he curled his hand around the back of Lance’s neck and rubbed gently. “It’s okay, Lance,” he whispered back. “I promise. No worries on your night okay?” Lance sighed, and JC’s shoulders rose instinctively as warm breath curled into his neck. “I know,” Lance laughed, pulling back, and the moment was gone. Grown up Lance was back, and clasping Laura’s hand. “I’m being stupid. Too sensitive.” JC watched as Lance turned and brushed a blonde strand of hair from Laura’s neck, and he sank, even as Laura’s expression turned more wretched. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, rubbing his hand over his face. “Lance told me you got sick.” Diane fussed, running her hands over Laura’s back comfortingly. “Poor thing. I’m going to take her back to the hotel soon as the showing is over. She needs some warm tea and a nice sleep.” Laura nodded, and struggled to inhale, and JC took a deep breath, pulling his gaze away. Ashamed. He wandered into the lobby and leaned against the wall while camera crews surged for interviews. His blue eyes widened as he looked for Beth, for someone to help him the hell out. As if on cue, she approached, waving her hand over his head lightly. “You okay? You look like you swallowed a fish.” JC cocked his head at her as his hand grazed over his fluttering stomach. “A fish?” She smiled and patted his cheek. “Come on. ET wants to get a sound bite from you okay?” JC wobbled with a phony smile painted on, trying to make his eyes sing happiness as the rest of him slithered into the Garden of Eden, like a snake. Lower than a snake’s belly. He managed to give ET a few words as Lance approached behind him -- and then familiar hands fell onto his shoulders, squeezing them. He didn’t need to force a smile anymore. He just felt it. “They’re my best friends, man,” JC grinned. “I’ll do anything I can to support them.” It would be the clip heard round the world, he figured -- if nothing else a sweet boost for N Sync as a whole. Before he fucked the whole thing up. Joey entered stage right to the delight of the camera crew, and JC played it up as normally as he could -- ignoring the press of Lance’s body against him. Ignoring Lance’s hand which seemed to fall just shy of his waist. Ignoring the sickly look that was pasted on Laura’s face as she stood to the side, wringing her hands in discomfort. He sighed and waited for the camera to shut off before spinning around to face Lance, to dig his claws in perhaps. To head straight into the whole situation, step up and forget about playing nice. “Feel any better?” he whispered to Lance as they moved down the press line. Lance shrugged and tugged at his lapels. “A little.” He leaned in toward JC’s ear. “I really thought this was going to be different,” he admitted, and JC caught the way Lance’s rumbling voice cracked. “I think this might flop. Big time.” “Jesus, Lance,” JC said, tugging his friend to the side. “Don’t jump to conclusions here.” He studied Lance's face, the very apparent uncertainty that blotched across his expression. “You’re letting yourself freak about things that haven’t happened yet!” “I know,” Lance said, resting against the wall as people waved to him, passing by. “But you’re the only one I can tell.” His eyes widened, and doubt swam around fiercely. “Joey needs my assurances 24/7 and I have to calm Wendy all the time. My parents just keep telling me how proud they are .. and ..” JC broke as he saw the panic flood over Lance, the color wash from his face. “It’s gonna be fine. Listen, we’ll party after the showing. And later you come to my room and we’ll just talk okay?” Lance looked up and smiled a little. “That would be such a relief,” he confessed. “I mean, I really need to just let all this shit go. It‘s eating me up and I could use a friend.” “It’s a plan then,” JC grinned, rubbing Lance’s arm as Wendy called for him. “Go now. Get your game on and be cheery! We’ll hang out later.” “Thanks C,” Lance sighed, waving toward Wendy to let her know he’d heard her. “I can’t even tell you how great it is to have you here.” JC felt evil, little tingles of wrong that seemed to bubble excitedly in his blood. And as Laura came up behind Lance, slipping her hand in his, their eyes met. And JC thought maybe, just maybe, she knew he was up to no good. The way her eyes narrowed, and her expression flinched. “Feeling alright?” he queried, chomping on a piece of gum, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans.  “Fine thanks,” she replied curtly, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Lance, Wendy really needs you over there.” JC watched carefully as the couple weaved their way toward more press, and he wiggled his fingers at Laura as she turned to glance at him once more. Confidence seemed to surge from no where and JC bopped his head to some silent tune in his head as he slunk off to his seat. continue menu