Ridicule

The first thing he saw when he walked in his office was the skirt hanging off of his desk.  Rodney gritted his teeth and wondered if he could blame Kavanagh.  He wasn't sure that it was Kavanagh that had put the skirt there, but it would just make him feel better to yell at the man.  Rodney ripped the skirt off his work area and tossed it into the corner by the door.  He flopped into his chair and tried to factor how long it would take before everyone stopped making fun of him.  

the equation


It hadn't helped any that Lt. Cadman had become the most popular piece of entertainment since they'd brought home X-Boxes on the Daedalus.  Rodney had caught her holding court in the cafeteria expounding upon her trying ordeal of being in his body.  He booted up his computer and jerked when the tinny sounds of Shania Twain's "Man I feel like a woman," blared from his speakers.  Rodney slapped at his computer trying to get the thing to mute.  He did so in time to hear the distinct sound of muffled snickers from the work area beyond his office door.  Rodney glared at the doorway until his borrowed ATA gene kicked in and they slid closed.  He never realized how much he appreciated slamming doors now that they were gone.

Would the humiliation never end?  God knows what the woman did in his body while he was asleep.  Sure, she said she'd just exercised, but then he found out that she'd also invited Carson on his date with Katie.  What else had she happily glossed over and refused to tell him?  Rodney froze for a second and prayed that there weren't any photos that would come out later.  While he started to hyperventilate over this thought, the doors to his office swished open.  Rodney started to yell at whoever had dared bother him at a time like this, but the words merely came out as a small croak when he saw who it was.

"Hello, Rodney," Carson said.

"Hello, Carson.  Is there something I can do to—for you?" Rodney finally replied cringing at his faux pas.  He just had to pull himself together or they really would think he was nuts.

Carson looked amused, but thankfully didn't call him on it.  "I just came to see how you were doing.  Check up on you, you know."

"I'm miserable.  Do you have any idea—?"

"Oh, I think I do.  After all, I was the one that got molested in front of a room full of people."

Rodney cringed again.  "It wasn't me, you know."

"I know, Rodney, but you aren't the only one getting your fair share of ribbing.  Just remember that."

"Fine," Rodney growled and stared daggers at the crumpled skirt in the corner.  Carson looked down at his feet and saw what Rodney was looking at.  He moved out of the doorway and bent to pick it up.  Rodney watched him hold the thing up in front of his chest.  "A gift from my admirers," Rodney explained.

"I think it'd suit you."

Rodney shot him a look and Carson grinned back.

"It's really not my color," he said.  "You should take it since you Scots so love wearing skirts."

"Oh, you do not want to be going there, lad."

"I'm not worried.  You'd never hit a woman."

Carson snorted and tossed the garment over his shoulder.  "Aye, but I might just hit you.  Come on, it's almost dinner time."

"Do you think that's really a good idea?  Letting everyone see us together?"

"Why not?  We were friends before we snogged.  I don't see how that'd make any difference."

Rodney got to his feet. "You're a glutton for punishment, Carson."

"Probably, but I just can't help myself."

Rodney stopped in the doorway and they were both chest to chest.  He shot Carson a calculating look.  Carson smirked, showing off his dimples.  Before Rodney could react, there was an arm around his shoulders.

"Chin up, Rodney.  I haven't yet told you what you missed."

"Missed?"

"Ronon wiped the floor with Sheppard in training today.  It's all over the base.  At least we won't be the only ones being teased."

Rodney cocked an eyebrow at his friend as they headed off to the cafeteria.  "You always know how to look on the bright side. It's disgusting really."

Carson laughed and they walked down the hall with the doctor whistling an appropriate Monty Python tune.



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