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A Guide To Anal Play
by Matchstick
(reprinted here with permission)
Thank you, Matchstick!
Note: Clicking on a graphic/pic will open up a new browser window for your viewing. When done viewing, simply close the window to return back to this page. |
...part of Match Stick's BDSM Website
A guide to enjoying this wonderful but often misunderstood and mistrusted part of our bodies.
My most important work.
The anus is the part of our bodies that is most alien to us. We can't see it without a mirror. As children we are told it's a dirty part of our bodies. Many people who try anal sex find it painful, and either give up, or simply endure the pain for their partner's sake.
Nobody told us that it could feel wonderful. Nobody told us that after the genitals, the anus has the largest concentration of nerves in the human body. Nobody told us how to do it right.
This has got to change...
Why Anal Play?
The first time I ever told anyone I wanted to touch their anus they said "Ewwww, why would you want to do that?"
Why indeed?
The most basic answer is because it is enjoyable. This in itself is answer enough. However, many people find it useful to explore the issue on a deeper level.
Anal play feel very good on a simple physical level. The anus is extremely sensitive and therefore can be an excellent receptor to simple sensual pleasure. Many men enjoy having their prostate rubbed, and some women are capable of orgasm simply from anal penetration.
Many people see receiving anal sex as a submissive act. My answer to these people is if you enjoy it as a submissive act do so, but it doesn't have to be if you don't want it to be. Anal play is what you make of it.
Others see receiving anal play as an inherently female act. They seem to think that someone who allows something phallic into their body is acting as the female. I disagree with the simple minded approach, but personally enjoy roleplaying as a female during anal play. And yes, those are my panties : )
Some see anal play as a "dirty" act. It doesn't have to be. After a good enema, anal sex can be as clean is vaginal sex. However, if you like the idea of touching and playing with shit, or enjoying a sexual act simply because it is dirty, go for it. (Make sure to think about safer sex, however.)
These ideas, concepts, prejudices, and emotions are all wrapped up with the idea of using the anus for sexual pleasure. This is all cultural baggage. I say, if these ideas get you off and help you enjoy yourself, more power to you. You are taking the negative cultural images and using them for your own pleasure, you wonderful pervert, you. : ) If one of these concepts stops you from enjoying anal play, I urge you think more about where your idea came from.
To understand what's going on down there you need to learn about anatomy.
- Outer Sphincter:
- This is the exterior ring of muscles in the sphincter. As you slide a finger into the anus, you can feel this muscle relax first.
- Inner Sphincter:
- The interior ring of muscles in the sphincter. The outer and inner sphincter make up the anus.
- Rectum:
- The rectum is where objects inserted into the anus go. It can be fairly large, volume wise.
- Prostate:
- Present only in men, the prostate can be rubbed by a finger inserted into the anus. It can feel very good. With the man on his back, insert your index finger most of the way with the palm side of your hand facing up. Make a "come here" motion and you will stimulate the prostate. It is analogous to the g-spot in women.
- Pubo-Rectal Sling:
- This is a "sling" of muscle that pulls the lower rectum towards the belly button. It helps control bowel movements. In order for a large object to be inserted into the rectum the pubo-rectal sling needs to relax for the rectum to straighten out.
- Sigmoid Colon:
- This is where the large intestine takes a big left turn. In general, you won't be inserting anything that far up.
Illustrations
(By clicking on a pic below, it should open up in a new browser window for viewing.
When done viewing the pic, please close the new window to return back to this page.)
Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum does not produce lubricant. Therefore, to enjoy sensation there we need to add some. We don't need to add just a little, but lots. An icon of pornography, using vaginal lubrication to lube the anus just doesn't work. There's a saying which illustrates this:
Too much lube is almost enough.
In order to use lubricant effectively, you need to pick the right lubricant, and use it in a way it gets to where it's needed.
- Oil-based lubricants:
- The rectum is self cleaning. Any liquid you put in is going to come back out eventually. Therefore, it is okay to use oil-based lubricants, assuming you aren't using a condom on whatever is being inserted. Mineral oil, commercial oil based sex lubricants and food oils are all fine. Crisco (regular flavor) is a long time favorite of the gay male community.
The problem with oil-based lubricants is that they dissolve latex. Do not mix oil-based lubes and condoms.I have heard reports that the latex in gloves is thick, and does not break down quickly enough to be a problem.
- Water-based lubricants:
- Water-based lubricants don't have this problem. They are also much easier to clean up. Many commercial water-based sex lubes are available. However, only the thick, goopy lubes should be used for anal play. "Runny" lubes such as thin Astroglide don't work well as they will not work their way into the rectum.
Personally speaking I prefer water-based to oil-based lubes. I find that oil-based lubes feel greasy and tacky. I find water-based lubes to feel wet and squishy. I like that. My personal favorite is ID. You can buy it in pump bottles.
- Lubricate Inside:
- Not only do you need a lot of lube, but the lube has to be in the right place. Specifically, much of the lube has to be inside the anus. Pushing it in with a gloved finger works for small items, (i.e. a few fingers) but doesn't work as well with deeper penetration with thicker objects.
I recommend using some way to inject the lube. I find that injectors that come with some boxes of KY jelly or yeast infection kits work pretty well. They are basically a small tube surrounding a cylinder that slides inside like a little piston. You can use this to "squirt" the lube up into the rectum.
Push the piston up all the way, put the nozzle of the lube container against it, and inject the lube, pushing the piston down. Now gently slide the injector into your warmed-up partner at a good angle. (More on this later.) Tell your partner when you are about to inject the lube, as it can feel rather good. : ) There is one drawback to inserting this much lube, your next bowel movement tends to start out similar to diarrhea.
Make sure you add more lubricant as time goes on if you are playing for more than a few minutes. You can do this by simply pulling the inserted object most of the way out, adding more lube, and sliding back in.
One last word about lubricants. You can buy lubricants with numbing agents, such as "Anal-Ease". Basically they contain novocaine or similar drugs to "alleviate painful anal sex." If it's painful, you are doing it wrong! These lubricants are dangerous! I hope someone sues the manufacturers of these products soon and get the damn things off the market. I feel they reinforce the concept that anal sex is something to be "endured" for the sake of one's partner. BULLSHIT.
The rectum is not a straight tube, at least when you start out. The pubo-rectal sling pulls the rectum into an "S" curve. If you don't insert an object, or your fingers, at the right angle, it won't feel good.
- Aim for the Belly Button:
- As you start to insert something past the anus, into the rectum, aim for the belly button. If you are inserting fingers, or something finger-length or shorter, you are all set. If you are inserting something longer, you will probably have to adjust your aim.
- Stop and Pull Back:
- After a few inches, your partner will tell you, if you have good communication, that it starts to hurt. You've hit the curve. Pull the object back just a smidge. Let your partner know that you aren't going to move, and DON'T move. A fraction of an inch feels like a foot when it's YOUR ass.
- Aim for the Head:
- When your partner signals she/he is ready to go deeper, move your aim up towards the head, and slide back in slowly. As you relax more, the pubo-rectal sling elongates, lessening the curve and increasing the comfort. I highly recommend flexible dildos for anal play because of the curve of the rectum.
Eventually the rectum takes a left turn into the sigmoid colon, but you should not be going up that far unless you really know what you are doing.
A Guide to Anal Play continued on Page 2
Go to Match Stick's BDSM Website.
Copyright © 1999 by Matchstick <match@unix.tpe.com>
Last modified on Fri Nov 26 1999
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