This is another one of those rumors. That I don't have any friends. (grin) Well, sorry guys, but you know who you are, and ye shall be credited here! Again. If you're not on the list, and you want to be, that's fine. I probably just got tired of listing people. (Grin) Yell at me, and I'll fix it! Click the name for pictures! After each explination, there's a list of songs that reminds me of that friend.

And now, the list! (in no order...)

Justin Whitney/seXXXy -J-/Little Brother: Justin's...what, 20 now? He lives in Housten, has one or two bands that he FINALLY plays music with, a brand new kitten, and is a film major at school. All in all, he's turned out about like I thought he would...He's still the most mixed up rich kid that I've ever had the pleasure to watch going spaztic. He's my adopted little brother, and while he has his share of quirks, I still love him to death. Songs: Heart of Steel, Master of the Wind

Natalie Quist/CloudLover: Natalie's one of my best friends. I guess I have a few of them, but Nat's in the inner circle, as it were. She's one of those people who's perfect for me, but if we ever dated one another, we'd either get married or kill one another. Since we're both sure we'd kill one another, we're just spade tight. She's off in college now, breaking hearts and learning that boobs are a burdon as well as a blessing. Songs: Wish you were Here

Note: I HAD a picture for Natalie. But she promised me great pain if I ever posted it, sooo....

Kevin McKinney:Kevin...Kevin's the oldest of the friends that I hang around with. He's Jen Perkins' boyfriend and he's one hell of a guy. We don't always see eye to eye on things, but we're always good company. He's stand up, rock-solid, iron-clad friendship, and the voice of experience amongst other voices that I rarely listen to. Songs: Pigs on the Wing, You've got a friend, The Angry American.

Jennifer Bedell/JJ/Can't-clutch-aswellas-I-can: Ahh. The Jennifer. I can't really call Jennifer a friend without lessening her. She's on that higher level. I could spent several pages telling you about how Jennifer saved my life and I'm absolutely enthralled with her, but that would be silly. Just know that I avidly hunt after the men that have hurt her. I just want their lungs... Funny, but there's a Gatoraide commercial on TV where the toys come to life and play on the fooseball table? Yeah. She's the soccer player. Songs: Letting the Cables Sleep, I'd lie for you, Everything Louder than Everything Else.

Jennifer Perkins:"And how is Jen?" Always in third person, of course. Jen is the above stated Kevin's girlfriend. There's not a whole lot to say about Jen, honestly. She's the princess of the group, and we all love her for it. She was one of those people in highschool that I didn't hang out with, and I'm glad that I do now. She's normal...she's one of the people I always wanted to be. I know she might not think so, but... Songs:Something in the Way, Strawberry Fields.

Ashley/Ash/Kiddo/"If you give her Coffee, I will personally see you shot and killed.": Ashley Michelle Papon is 18, and has already lived a hard life. There are some things that she's hopelessly inept at, and other things that she can do flawlessly. But she's still an Innocent, I think, and she's the best person I know to just call and bitch to. I do it frequently, and she always makes me feel better. Time has marched on, and I feel compelled to add more to Ashley's little section here. Let it never be said that I did not love her. DO love her. She is my Nixusanya Petry, and for those of you who know what that is...(Well, Okay, ALMOST my Nixusanya. We don't share some of the more...adult aspects of Nix and Vlad's relationship. but you get the picture...) Songs: Here with you, Heartache

Sarah Colteryahn/Nark/"I was taking a picture of the ring around your neck, I swear!" "Right, Steve...": I've known Sarah since second grade. I love her. I have loved her for all of that time, and she knows it. We're friends who don't really need to talk alot. We know that the other is there at the drop of the hat. Sarah makes peanut butter and jelly worth it. Songs: Long Legged woman in a Red Dress

Chris Baldwin/Combat Ready Female: Probably the best example I have of percerverance. She's 24, single, has a kid, and is busting her ass to make life good for him. She dosen't take shit off of anybody, knows how to get what she wants, and takes life by the balls. Songs: Heart in Hand

Mike Reed/Fire Hazzard/"Knowing these last words may be your last, answer me this query...": Several people would argue that Mike might not belong here. But since this is my list, screw them. Mike and I have had a checkered past, but somehow, we've always managed to bury the hatchet and remain on good terms. He's a good drinkin' buddy, and one of two people that are responsable for my addiction to StarCraft.

I had to come back here, some time later, and append Mike's Entry. It just does this man no justice. Mike is a man of Honor. Of Courage, and of Valor. He is a man among men...and he is my brother. He told me once that if our friendship were ever in danger, he would see to it that it would not die. If bridges between us were ever burning, he would put the fire out. If they ever fell, he would make a portal to me...despite the fact that, at times, I have been a class A Jerk...Mike has always been there. Sometimes, I wonder if he stands so firmly by me because he feels he must atone for past sins...And other times, I don't wonder. He stands with me because he's my friend. That's what friends do. He is the ever shifting, ever present, ever cutting edge model of a friend...

Songs: Can't Stop Rockin', No need to Argue.

Holly Barbare/You locked WHAT in the car?: I have to love Holly. We all give her so much SHIT about the stuff she goes, and I have to admit that she's turned out fantastic. She's smart, sensative, a little on the sexy side, and dating a...Mark. But that's beside the point. Holly went off to college and came back a better, brighter, more loveable woman. I miss her company dearly...We all love her to death, and I can count on her for a hug. --- Holly kept finding herself here when she used search engines for her name and wasn't happy that I cracked on her boyfriend as much as I was. I changed this out of friendship for her. Her boyfriend, IMO, doesn't treat her the way she deserves at all times and he represents the most annoying aspects that encircled ME...at age 16. That's basically why we don't get along. Still, Mark can't be all bad if Holly's dating him. Song: A little help from my friends.

Nick and Natalie Joy/"Steve, he's choking!" "Oh, Shit, sorry, Nick!": I love these two. They might as well be married, but they're not. Not just yet, that is. I give them a few years at most, and then it'll happen. Nick and Nat have what could best be described as THE relationship. They're both perfect for one another. Nick's just as wild as I am, and Natalie's just as smart. (Grin) Together, they make a truely happy combination and some of the most incredible friends.Songs, respectively, are Break Stuff and Pachabel's Cannon in D

Heather/"You left him WHERE?!": Heather is an old friend of mine, and while we've had our ups and downs, I still attest that I learned more from her in the months we dated than in the years I went to school. She taught me more about humans, about herself, and about myself than just about anyone. And while, at times, people consider her cold and cruel, she can usually throw down a single line of words that makes all the world of difference. And convinces you to think. Of course, I love her. Song: The Show Must Go On

Kiera Hutton/"Whoah! That was cool.": Kiera I have known since I was 14, and we've had the strangest friendship...I mean, I love her to death, but we just never managed to be in the right place at the right time. Needless to say, she still calls to check up on little ol' me, and I do, her. Song: Alone: The Joe Dekat Project, Down Time

Indira Ela Saari/"So you're telling me you've got long legs too?!": Oh sure, Indira's not her real name, but we all love her just the same. In Character, she's a Crystal Singer on my MUSH. (Head back to the Index and check it out!) Out of Char, she's the other lost soul, swimming in a fishbowl. Deep words? No, just true, when put in context with the song. (It's Wish you were Here, by Pink Floyd. Check it out, Tracy.) In general, she's the epitome of the wrong place, wrong time syndrome. As in, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and so was she. (Grin) Oh well. There's always the really freaky deaky chance that...(Blink) No..wait. That won't happen. (laugh) Oh well! Song: When you come back down, Woman in the Mist, Sabbra Cadabbra, I hope you dance

Wendi Wilwert/"That's it...eat the poison, you little bastard...":Poor Wendi. She had a run in with a mouse, and it freaked the hell out of her. Anyway, Wendi's just another goofball like I am. She's one of those perky, honest, underappreciated people that are so hard to find. I've only known Wendi for a short time, but I'm already certain that a certain older man is about to propose to her. (Laughs) Don't ask. I LOVE YOU, Alyna!! Song: For you

There's nothing quite so...glorious as a slip like that in front of the rest of your co-workers. Adrian has, non-the-less, perfected the art. Which, by my standards, is just fine. Adrian lives in Wisconsin, which is where I hope to relocate quite soon in my life. She's furry. No, really, she's furry. (Grin) A Cat Dragon to be precise...Or is that Fire Dragon? "They say Fire Dragons are good in bed, you know." I'll...keep that in mind. (Chuckle) Ancient Chinese goobers said that I would attract an interesting crowd behind me as I went through life, and if my story was a Conga Line, Adrian would be right behind me. It goes without saying that, as with all of my close, personal friends, I love her to death. Song: Borsaliao (Some few that know the song are wondering why this makes me think of Adrian. Just picture a cat, dancing to the music. Voila.)

Deidre Liran and Kingu Wildcat/"AppleApple!!" There are few things so incredible, so life-altering, that you must call someone several states away, just to share. One of these things was the X-Rated 'Night before Christmas' Poem. I think that was the first time I'd ever called Lori to share that with her, and we were both just dying of laughter when it was over.We don't see eachother online as much as we used to, back in the days of 2040, but we're still close. Lori's probably the youngest adult I've ever met, and Gary? I don't know what to tell you about Gary. He's an administrator to the very bone. I'd say I loved him too, but he's married, and I don't think Lori wants the competition. (Wink) Songs, Respectively: Cry, Little Sister, and Dirty Laundry

Zack Warren/The Floating German's loyal subject!:You know, I've never had anyone think of me as a god before. But I kinda like it. (Grin) Ashley tells me that Zack thinks of me as a God, or at least a Demigod. I haven't figured out why yet, but I'm not asking questions. Needless to say, because I'm a nice guy, so I don't call on Zack to do many things. But I have to hand it to the man...the ONE time I've raised my hand and actually ordered him to do something, he responded flawlessly, quickly, quietly, and made me proud. Where, origionally, I was hesitant to put faith in many of Ashley's younger friends, I find more and more, day by day, that I can not only put great stock in Zack, but that he deserves it. He stopped being a disciple a long time ago, and started being a friend of mine. The hero worship's all good and well, but one of these days, he'll find out that I'm not all that. God forbid... Song: Paul Overstreet's 'Love Helps Those'

Laura/Barbie Girl/"Tell your ass I miss it, Momma!":What a strange, strange girl. Laura was origionally one of Ashley's friends, whom she brought over to meet me and Mike. The first meeting between us was cool. The second, she spilled soda all over an expensive sweater. And ever since then, we've been cool. She's 15, drop dead gorgeous, and has a personality that's almost blindingly bright. I would be remiss if I did not comment on her ass. Laura has, for a 15 year old, THE ass. Ashley has a bubble butt. My sis, Carli, has Ghetto Booty. Laura has THE Butt. You know the kind. The kind that begs to be hugged by jeans butt. And you have no idea how much of a Lech I feel like, talking about this. But it cannot be denied. (grin) Needless to say, she's the Momma, and yes, her butt has Money hanging out of it. Don't ask. Songs: Michelle Branch, "Everywhere" Sheryl Crow, "Bitch" Lifehouse "Everything" All of these must be played loud. Very.

Bill Papon/(Insert the Sound of a Shotgun being pumped...) "Oh...SHIT!":No, actually, Bill's one of the coolest people I think I've ever had the chance to come across. He's smooth, a business man to the core, and every bit a man's man. His attention to detail is second to none, his devotion to the things important is ceaseless, and his heart is made of gold. He's been someone I could go to for awhile now and just bounce shit off of for the sake of his wisdom. And, if I may say so, he's even better at the game of Cat and Man than I am...We talk quite a bit more than we used to now a days...

Probably because he's Ashley's father. Yeah. There's a stunner.

Jody 'The Holy' Bruchan/"Don't make me take this to the SPARC...."Jody, bless his somewhat pickled heart, has somewhat of a mixed history with the gang from Overland Park. Bad timing, a few bad choices, and not all of them on his part, made the trip he took to see us all turn out a fair sight more sour than I think any of us expected. However, time marches on, and Jody has displayed that stalwart abillity that true friends posses that keeps them friends. He keeps trying to BE that friend, and to make amends for any wrongs he may have committed. I admire that ALOT. Tenuous at first, our friendship is raipidly solidifying into something more, and I look forward to the time when he can come back down here and we can do this RIGHT. Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't add the fact that His Holiness is also my late-night Go-To-God. For computers, that is. I might be able to drag the crap I need up myself...but it's easier to ask Jody, and he makes it seem disgustingly easy. (Grin)

Caroline 'Careo' Paul\"Uh...was that your boob?"Caroline Paul is, without a doubt, the person I love to piss off the most, probably because she's so pretty when she's pissed. In the beginning, it was easy to do, simply because I'm an asshole, and she didn't respond well to assholes. But then we got to know one another better, seeing as how she's one of Ashley's peoplez, and I tend to spend time around them, etc. etc...I digress. I got to know Carero, and was genuinely taken by the lack thereof emptiness that I found between her ears. We've even stolen cars to drive around in while we had intelligent conversations. Anyway, to make a long story short, she's gorgeous, intelligent, and has grown more than tolerant of the Floating German. This, of course, makes her a Goddess Among women. After all. There's only so much of me that anyone can take. We all love Careo because of the way she smiles and the very essence of fire and ice that she brings to the table.

Jennifer Braden\"Oh my GOD...I didn't just see her little sister streaking in the hallway...I did NOT..."Jeni...or is it Jenni...I dunno. Jeni's a rare bird. Her family's kinda dysfunctional, but she herself has turned out almost perfectly. She grew up tall and she grew up right..blah blah. Ashley has a remarkable stock of beautiful friends, and Jeni's no exception. Beautiful women tend to gather, and seeing as how Ashley is, it's only fitting. She has a quirky sense of humor, a great smile, and a brain almost as big as mine. (Grin) Almost. She's Ashley's cousin, and I see her the most out of all of Ash's friends. That's probably why Jeni'll always have a special place in my heart. I don't know that I've watched Jeni grow up as I have watched her change. Either way, it's been a pleasure. I only hope she derives as much pleasure from my company as I do hers.

Matt Gulick/Junior/YYYYEEEESSSSSS!!!I met Junior when I was taking my Freshman classes at JCCC. He's a good kid with a good heart. He's on my bowling league and has a ball that's just KILLER. He's about THE most take it easy and lay back man I've ever met...and yet he's got all his priotities in a row. Admirable... Songs: Like a Stone, Bother, Epiphany

Sarah Burras\"I'm SO GLAD You're not a Moron!"Sarah's a friend of Jean Reed's, someone I met while I was at a bowling Alley. She swears the first time she met me, I freaked her out big time. But I guess the second time I met her, I made amends, because she's happy with me now. This is good. Sarah's one of those folks who, when she's mad at you, you have to wonder why, and what you've done wrong. Anyway, she's cool, and I hope I get to spend more time around her.

Kim Burton/The KimmySpice/Spacefem/The Violent Femanist...Kim was origionally one of Mikey's friends, but slowly, he spread her Kimmyness over to me, and we became friends as well. Kim's a great person. I had a hard time pictureing myself Dating Kim, which is an odd thing for me. I just couln't fathom the idea of Kim acting like anything more than a friend to me. She's just so neeto. Kim's one of those folks who, if she's mad at you, you should wonder why. Not If. But Why. Because Kim's so...even, so fair, that if she's pissed at you, you've done something wrong. And if you do not repent, and you're a guy...beware. I love Kimmy to death...word has it she's moving to Wichititty...NO FAIR!!! We'll miss you, Kim!

Lauren Baize/The Prize/"Jesus. I can't take you outside without an EMT on stand-by, can I?"...Lauren I met at a gas station. She's short, curvy as hell, got enough red hair to any man happy, and has enough holiness in her body that I can rub her arm and feel sanctified for a week. She's sort of my concience and she's one of the only people I know who will NOT tell a secret...thus, she has told me her secrets, and I have not told them...Song: Some dumb fuckin' tune about a cheeseburger...

Katarzyna Klimas/Kasia/Just FUCKING HOT.":Kate, or Kasia, as she prefers to be called (By me. The rest of you get to call her...well you don't. HA.) is from Krakow, Poland, and...well, she's hot. REALLY damn hot. She's sent me picture after picture and each one's better than the last. She's just...wow. And that's without talking about her personality. They really do breed them better outside of the U.S., folks. Kasia is fantastic in every aspect. I just wish I had the money to drop to go and see her. I like snow. I could stay in Poland. ;) Songs: Belladona, Nothing Else Matters (Angels of Venice Mix)

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Yeah. There are others. The list is long, thankfully. If you want on, tell me.

Time to go home!