ERIC SCHOENHEINDER
One fine day, many years ago, the Begner people were wandering through the forest. Papa Begner was a stiff old cow, and he saw the forbidden jello, and he wanted it. Mama Begner warned her partner that the jello was not for them, but for the legendary "Tough Guy". At any rate, Big Papa Begner ignored Mama Begner and took the forbidden jello. He indulged in its funky form and swallowed it down.....Nothing happened....they waited.....still nothing.....then, all of a sudden....bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.....there was a noise, but what was it? It grew faster and louder until it was too much to take. Out from behind the trees, they appeared...It was the dreaded Woodblock People. They played loud and annoyingly. And when they played, they were totally in a trance and made sounds that were funny, sounds that resembled a gagging hegh. The Begner people couldn't take the noise. They passed out. As a punishment for taking the forbidden jello, the Woodblock people did something terrible to Papa Begner. The legend says that they beat his stomach like it was a giant woodblock..Papa Begner soon became plump and pregnant. In 9 short days, a son was born a bit premature. Papa Begner called him Eric, and that's basically the end of the story.
P.S. This biography really doesn't say much about Eric, but it's basically all I had on my mind at the time. If you would like to know the real Eric, well, he is a short, yet stocky young lad. He really didn't have much of a life until he played the part of Q.T. in the MTV movie 2gether. He was an overnight success. Yes, Eric knew his calculus, and it told him that U + Me = Us. Using that philosophy, Eric hit it off with his co star in 2gether (the reassuring older brother type), and they have a date tonight....Goodluck on your big date Eric....We're pulling for you 100%.
|
