10. December 2001

Hi all. The year is growing old and soon will be over. Time for many people to reconsider the events of this year.
Nearly six month ago, for the first time I saw the Digimon. The first I saw was Yamato, being a loner once again, frustrated to feel alone once more. He reminded me so much of myself, though I didn't have any Gabumon on my side. *teardrop* Well, but I somehow forgot about this, until some time later I saw Taichi (the episode where he was back home alone, and met his ill sister Kari was the first I saw completely). Then my fascination grew, though I didn't have the time to see most episodes because of my work. But the more I saw, the more I became addicted. There was something that really touched my heart, and I was unable to point on it. Until then I had led a fairly reasonable and intellectual life of any average grown-up.
I learned much by visiting the Digidestinied. I learned to become a child once more, upon many other things. It's something I can hardly describe. It has really changed my view of life to better. Digimon was some kind of Initiation of Illumination for me; it showed me, what humanity really has lost: the simplicity, honesty and love of the heart. And then I saw the many Yaoi sites. I had never heard of Yaoi or the imagined the greatness of the fan-scene. There I met many friends and companions. And I began to write fanfics and draw. I had never drawn before so I learned from the beginning. (Some of you may remember the really terrible first stages. Sorry! *grin* ) Now I have drawn around 800 pages or more and still am a learner.
Now the major hype of Digimon is ceasing. Other series are rising and getting attention, other Yaoi couples are out there and the fans are growing older, being busy with other stuff than the old Digidestinied and their faithful Digimon. For me, it is something else. They were guardians of the most important insight of my life, being simple anime figures or not. I don't care. So I put the task on my shoulders to preserve the Memory of the Digidestinied and their Yaoi 'incarnations' throughout my life, as a reminder to the truth that the Light can be found in anything, if you are just allow the Light a way into your heart.
As I said, many old sites are closed changed. Some of the greatest artist have attended to other topics or went ahead in their own course of life. Such are things, and though I am sorry, I am also grateful. I was part of a great time, when good writers and drawers produced really touching and good stories and pictures. Their legacy will be preserved. And I, being an old dinosaur (30 years now!!), shall call myself Preserver of the Legend of the Digidestinied from now to the remainder of my days.

I send love and all best wishes to you! Have a good x-mas and a happy new year!!

27. December 2001

Well, X-Mas time over (thank goodness! All this rejoicing and familiy-loving and jingle-belling REALLY sucked! I just have enough of that now. Sorry for being
so non-romantic right now.) and the new year stands at our very doorstep. I recently acuired the first EURO. For all outsiders: Europe is just getting an new
and common currency... I like the look but hate the idea. All old and honorable national currencies will die. Not well. Gobalizarion sucks! Gee, I am in no
good mood, as ever in the end of a year. Anyway, I'm recently dawing as never before; usually between 5 and 10 hours a day. One of the very few
thing me as being unemployed has in luxury is TIME. Hah! Not that my art really gets better, having no talent only discipline. Time will show me how far
I'll get that way.
I just have to get another coffee. Did I tell you that I'm a real coffee-addict? I NEED my 6-8 cups a day to survive. On the other hand coffee really keeps me
creative. I can't stop drawing as long as I induce my dose of coffee over the night. It is the same in writing, which I do better but more seldom right now.
As nothing really happens in my life recently, not much to tell. Have a good time and a happy new year 2002.

22. April 2002

For any StarWars-fan like myself this is just four weeks before Episode II hits the movies! Let's see if it's better than Ep1. I liked the "Phantom Menace", but somhow it didn't live up to the Sequels if you ask me; far too serious. I just miss old Han Solo and such. Or even Leia's sarcastic comments.
Somehow these days I just think "WOW, this site exists now for over a year!" I am a Digimon & Yaoi fan now for about 15 months, and started drawing a year ago. Sometimes I was really busy learning to draw, and I am still intermediate at best. But still, despite the fact there is still a long way to go to be satisfied with my drawings myself, I have reached a point where some start to ask me for gifts. Compared to the terrible crap I made a year ago, having never ever touched a pencil before, I have learned something. And at this point I really have to thank Magnolia-sama, who paitiently commented my scribblings so many times to teach me much I have learned. All good in my pic's goes to her.
Though I don't have the patience to draw much couloured pics than before; most are black-white sketches, but it's ok for a while.
And the rest? No work, no money, and recently my boyfriend has left me after 3 1/2 years. It was a suprise for me, and a bad one, you may be assured. Somehow I never imagined such a thing possible, but now there isn't much life that has remained for me. I try to keep myself up and "get back to the fight", though there really isn't much left to fight for. May the Spririt of Kindness walk with thee!

27.10.2002

First, I have the impression the air grows thin among Digimon sites. Once there were plenty, a plethora of Yaoi Digimon sites, and every week a new Yamato fansite. Good old days, when you could chat about Sora the helmet bitch once more. *gg* But now most of even the favorite sites are gone, which is a pity. Has anyone btw. noticed, that the site of one of the most talented drawers Nanako has gone? "Digital Aniki" is down. That's a hard blow. Okay, she hadn't made many pics, but her art was really great. Such a shame I could not write her, as she understands only Japanese. As such I have begun to scan sites and save pics from them, no matter who owns them. Many may regard this as stealing, but my wish is to preserve pics from being forgotten and fall into oblivion. Most of them where so beautiful, they deserve to be preserved for public viewing.
Well, these days it's just a few weeks for the next Harry Potter, which I am eager to see. Btw.: Richard Harris alias Albus Dubledore has died three days ago. Light a candle for him in this time of the year, will ya. And of course a new "Lord of the Rings" at X-Mas coming up. I really love to see it!!
Not much news from me to report, besides I am now in a one year course to become "Online Publisher". Just now I learn Photoshop and HTML. As a result I have begun to redecorate my Homepage with a small Frameset to allow better access. I hope you like it, but be patient. I don't have so much time now anymore.
After one and a half year (??) continually drawing Digiboys I grow to a state of "that's the right way". Okay, my pics are still beginners, but let's say advanced beginner. *lol* I make pics now I like, like the new "Ken, age 17 years" in my scribbles section. I hope you agree! *hehe*
Well, put your time in good use, and don't let any autumn depression get you down!