WHEN SOMEONE SAYS:  "You don't know Jack Schitt ..."
                Now you'll know the rest of the story!!!
  
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt and Oh Schitt; Awe Schitt, the 
fertilizer magnate married Oh Schitt, the owner of the Kneedeep Schitt 
Inn.
  
Jack Schitt married Noo Schitt and they produced six children.  Holy 
Schitt, their first, passed on shortly after childbirth.  Next came twin 
sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt; two daughters, Fulla Schitt and Giva 
Schitt; and another son, Bull Schitt.
  
Deep Schitt married Lotta Schitt and they had a son, Chicken Schitt.  Fulla 
Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens brothers.  The Schitt-Happens 
children are Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Horace Schitt.
 
Bull Schitt married a spicy number, Pisa Schitt, and they had a child named
Ape Schitt.  Three days after the arrival of Ape Schitt, Bull and Pisa died
in a car accident; Ape survived.
  
Luckily, Ape got adopted by the Asse family.  Jack Asse and his infertile 
wife Lard Asse changed Ape's name to Phukin.  Phukin was a stud and started
dating a beautiful girl named Tight when they were in high school. Phukin
Asse married Tight Asse and they named their baby Harry Asse.
  
Harry Asse married a Women's Right Activist named Yoo Hole. She wanted to
keep her name, but finally they settled on calling her Yoo Asse-hole.
  
Now you know Jack Schitt!!!