The Last Things You Would Ever Hear A Redneck Say:

 1. Yee Haw! That was one great bar mitzvah!

 2. Y'all have any low fat dressing for this here tofu salad?

 3. S'up G? Peace out.

 4. Pardon mam', would you mind crossing your legs?  Me an' my friends can
    see all the way up your skirt.

 5. Bubba, how's about giving me a hug big guy?

 6. No thank you.  One beer is plenty.  Remember I have to drive y'all home.

 7. Sorry but I can't go fishin'.  I got that monthly teeth cleaning at the
    dentists'.

 8. Honey, would you please get off me.  I've been out drinkin' with the
    boys and just feel like snuggling tonight.

 9. Fuckin' A! I got all them Barbra Streisand CDs.

10. Turn that wrestling crap off!  ER is on!

11. Shit y'all!  They accepted my application to MIT.

12. Load up the kids in the station wagon honey, I've hocked my shotguns and
    got us all ticket to the opera.