Did you hear about the freshman coed who decided not to sign up for a course 
in sex education?

    She heard the final exam would be oral.

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Why did Ellen Degeneres go to Grand Forks?

    Because she heard that the dikes were giving.

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"Hey! If this pop can were shaped differently, it would look just like an 
erect pecker! Sick!"

"Aw, Laura - you just have Pepsi envy."

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Two doctors were complaining about how incompetent the nurses were at their
hospital.  While they were talking, they saw a nurse carrying a pot of
boiling water while chasing a patient down the hallway.  "See that," said
one doctor, "that's a perfect example of what we're talking about.  Just a
few moments ago, I told her to prick that guy's boil."